Chapter 14

 

“Oww! What the fuck?” Justin was jolted from sleep by a sudden sharp pain in his foot when he opened his eyes Brian was standing over him. 

 

“Why’d you kick me?” Justin asked his heart pounding with the sudden rush to wakefulness.

 

“You’re snoring and drooling all over the duvet.”

 

Justin’s brain registered a hint of malice in Brian’s allegation.

 

“Never bothered you before,” Justin replied rubbing the sleep from his eyes and climbing out of bed. 

 

“It’s always bothered me besides its late, get up.” Brian then turned on his heel and marched down the bedroom stairs into the kitchen area, and poured himself a large mug of freshly brewed coffee.

 

Justin followed pouring himself a mug as he watched Brian walk to his desk and turn on the computer.  That’s when it hit him and panic set in, “Brian, why are you dressed like that?”

 

“It’s called a suit sonnyboy I wear them to work.  Remember, I’m the CEO of Kinnetic Incorporated.” Brian stared at Justin as though he had suddenly grown a third head then turned his attention back to the monitor.

 

“You can’t just ignore everything that’s happened.”  Justin stomped towards the desk making sure his heels hit the wooden floor hard enough to get Brian’s attention.  Brian raised his eyes, but his expression remained blank.

 

“You need to get help!” Justin shouted.

 

“I’m not going to a shrink.  I don’t believe in that shit.” Brian declared, his eyes never leaving the computer screen.

 

“Fuck, this is totally insane.” Justin grabbed handfuls of his own hair and pulled while squeezing his eyes shut.  “I’m going insane!”

 

Brian shot out of his chair and yelled, “Get the fuck out!” thrusting his face within an inch of Justin’s.

 

Justin stepped back and blinked against the onslaught Brian’s anger.  “No, not this time not ever again whatever is going on I’m apart of it, apart of you so you shut the fuck up and listen.”

 

Brian’s eyes narrowed, his brow furrowed, but he kept silent and let Justin have his say.

 

“I know you’re scared, but throwing me out isn’t the answer.  You have to face this.  Dr. McCormick has experience with adults who have survived abuse, and he’s gay.”

 

“He said I deserved my own chapter in the diagnostics manual of mental illness.  Great choice sunshine, I’m sure he’ll love selling the story rights.  A gay Sybill… makes for great drama my life will be put to celluloid and broadcast on one of those pussy chick networks.”

 

“Brian you need help.”

 

“I don’t trust them.” 

 

“I really think you can trust this guy.  We need help fixing this.”

 

“We?”

 

“Yes, we as in us, as in I love you and you love me and that makes this OUR problem and you and I together are going to figure out how to get you better.” 

 

Justin noticed that Brian’s features went blank for a brief second and then… “It’s too late sonny boy no one can help the little bastard now.”  He hissed the tone deeper than Brian’s.

 

“I need a fucking score card! Who are you?” Justin threw his arms up in frustration and stepped back.  He didn’t recognize the voice or the expression.   

 

Brian found himself in a dense fog, but he could hear Justin speaking with someone.  Where was he? Why couldn’t he see Justin?

 

The little fucker was getting wise.  It was time to end this before the blond had a chance to save the worthless little shit yet again.  He had to throw the kid off track and leave before the blond had a chance to react or call in the fucking troops.

 

“How about we play 20 questions while I fuck you?”

 

Justin wasn’t sure how to respond, but he knew fucking wouldn’t help matters.  “I only fuck Brian.” He knew it sounded lame he’d rarely been given the opportunity to ‘fuck’ Brian.

 

“That’s not true Sunshine.”

 

Justin knew he should end the conversation and call the psychiatrist.  The more he interacted with the different personalities the less clear his own world became.  Making his decision Justin ignored the new personality dug Dr. McCormick’s number out of his pocket and went to the phone on the desk.

 

“It’s not Brian.”  The tone was harsh as he’d meant it to be.  He knew the only way to get the kid out of here was to eviscerate both of them psychologically so when they made their move the kid and his little blond Pit Bull would be so traumatized neither would be able to respond quick enough to stop them.

 

“That’s not true. Don’t listen to him Justin!” Brian yelled.  How could his brain have gotten so scrambled that he had no control over it.  He must be insane.  And now he was locked within himself with no clue of how to get out.    

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Justin asked.  The statement had stunned him enough to take his attention away from dialing the phone.

 

“I’m talking about the fact that Brian has never let you ‘fuck’ him.  ‘Brian’ the man you know so intimately has never let anyone top him.”  He could tell by the shock that registered on the blonde’s face the plan was working.

 

“Who was it?” Justin said meekly his stomach beginning to roll.

 

The man slowly sauntered up behind Justin and whispered, “the kid” in his ear making sure his lips brushed against it causing Justin to shudder.

 

Justin quickly pushed himself away taking a few steps and then turned on the personality his eyes flashing.  “I don’t believe you…why are you trying to hurt him?  Brian is loving, and caring.  He’s brilliant…amazing…”

 

“How can you believe that Justin, it’s me Brian ‘A stands for asshole’ Kinney!” Brian shouted, his words echoed back to him bouncing off the fog.

 

The man glanced over Justin’s shoulder as if there were someone there then turned back focusing on Justin.  “Brian is a weak worthless little shit.  Yet all the times we’ve tried to destroy the little fucker he always finds a savior.  First it was that pathetic, whiney Mikey and his drag queen mother, then hovering Lindsay.  The little prick actually thought he might make it past 30 and we almost fucking had him until you asked him to your goddamn prom!  You made him think he was worth saving.” 

 

“God dammit I am worth saving you son-of-a-bitch!  Leave him out of this.  This is my fight not his!”

 

“Shut up you clueless little fuck!” The man yelled over his shoulder.

 

Brian began to pace back and forth in the fog.  He had to focus on getting back. 

 

The man began to pace back and forth.

 

“How did my asking him to the prom….”

 

“As if you didn’t know he had fucking fallen for your little twink ass.  You crawled in before any of us knew what the fuck had happened.  All of a sudden the little fuck actually thought he was worth something because you confessed your fucking love for him.”

 

“Fuck you!  He was leaving town and I needed him to know.”

 

Justin noticed that the man’s actions belied the harshness of his voice.  It was strange to see Brian’s mannerisms exhibit anxiety yet the words came out calm and calculated.  Justin made a mental note. 

 

“And then your courageous invitation made the little fuck to forget his place.  He wanted to show ‘his’ fucking little sunshine that he…”  The man stopped pacing and stared at Justin.

 

“That he loved me?”

 

“The fuck you know about love!  You were all of eighteen and what do you really know about it now?  You have fucking walked away from him twice.”

 

“Stop it, stop doing this to him.  You’re turning it all around and I’ll bet you…whoever the fuck you are had something to do with all of it.  He pushed me away and has tried to push me a way since we met.”

 

“And you never got the clue did you sonny boy?  Not even a fucking bat to the head could have made you that stupid.  He wasn’t the one pushing you away.  You left because he’s not good enough for you?”

 

“Brian talk to me you’re stronger than you think.  Don’t let him do this to you.” Justin yelled.

 

“Justin!”

 

“Too late sonny boy you gave us what we wanted.”  The man pushed Justin until his back was against a beam smashed his mouth against his and kissed him hard.  He pulled away suddenly and walked out the loft door leaving a confused shaken Justin in his wake.

 

“What the fuck?” Justin screamed towards the ceiling his words echoed through the loft.  After a few seconds Justin got his bearings and ran after Brian.

 

 

“Michael just shut up we have to find him!” Justin shouted above Michael’s berating him for letting Brian get away.  “And I didn’t ‘let’ him get away by the time I got downstairs he’d vanished.”

 

“What exactly did he say before he left.” Michael snarled.

 

“Something about me giving him what he wanted.”

 

“What the hell does that mean?”

 

“How the fuck should I know.  He talked about all the times before and how someone always saved him…Brian.  He mentioned that you, Deb, Lindsay and I had all been his saviors.”

 

“What times before?  Saviors.  Shit!” Michael ran a hand through his hair. He got it.  “You’re right we gotta find him.”  Michael took out his cell. 

 

“Who are you calling?”

 

“Carl.  Call Ted, tell him to start looking.”

 

Justin sighed, swallowed hard to keep the tears at bay and took out his own cell phone.  He felt a sense of deja vu fall over him all these weeks and they were back at the fucking beginning frantically trying to find Brian again. 

 

“I can’t go in there.  I won’t go in there.”

 

The kid was still fucking defiant.  He had to give him points for that, but this was going to happen.  He didn’t have a choice.

 

“You will or something bad might happen to that pretty blond.”

 

“You stay the fuck away from Justin!”

 

“It would serve you right for what you did.”

 

“I didn’t… he made me… I didn’t know.” Brian could feel his body again and it was shaking. 

 

“The fuck you didn’t you knew how he felt about you and you wanted it, you fucking craved it. Now go in there and apologize for what you did.  He deserves that much after all he’s been through because of you.”

 

“Brian.”

 

He heard his name being called from somewhere outside the fog.  He could barely hear it, but he recognized the voice.  “Stay away. Leave me alone I won’t do that anymore.”

 

“It’s okay son.  Come in I’ve been waiting for you.  I knew you’d remember and that you would seek me out.”

 

Suddenly the fog cleared and Brian found himself in a room standing in front of his uncle.