Second Chances Part X

Sunday Morning Justin awakes to someone pounding on his door. His first thought is that its Brian. He jumps out of bed.

"I knew you couldn't last." Justin opens the door to find an old Italian looking gentleman holding a bouquet of flowers.

"Eh..you Justin Taylor?"

"Yes."

"Good. Dos stairs nearly kilt me. Here." The man pushed the bouquet at Justin.

"Thank you. Uh...sorry I don't have any money?"

"Is okay...you boyfriend he pay extra and tip already. Enjoy. Oh...jus one ting. Da vase is not one of mine. Da gentleman insisted I use his, how you say...creation. I don like da idea, but he pay extra so...anyway if it leaks or falls apart tis not my problem...capish?"

Justin stared at the man stunned at what he had implicated about the vase he was holding.

"Capish? You understand?"

"Yes. Thank you." Justin nodded his head vigoriously to show the old man he understood.

"Good...good. Enjoy. They are da best of da best. I suggest roses, but he say he's no ready for dat. Well... okay I go you enjoy. Bye bye."

*************************************

Diner later that morning.

Justin approached the guys table to fill coffee cups.

"Where's Brian?"

"Like I'm his keeper?" Michael was still in a sour mood after having had to spend the weekend alone.

"Well you do always seem to know where he is." Justin shot back.

"And why are you asking Little Boy Blue? You've obviously got the ex-stud of Liberty Avenue under your spell." Emmett jumped into the conversation.

"I do not! I wanted to thank him for the flowers that arrived this morning."

"Flowers?!!!" Ted's eyes shot up from his plate. "Brian Kinney sent you flowers?"

"Did the date go 'that' badly?" Michael jeered. Justin mocked Michael's sneer and verbally ignored the comment.

"Oh, sweetie that's wonderful. Roses?"

"No, but just as beautiful. They're all exotic flowers I've never seen before and they smell wonderful. But the best part is the vase they came in. Brian made it, his initials and year are carved in the bottom."

"Keep spilling honey! Details!! What does it look like? Better yet draw it." Emmett handed over his paper napkin and a pen he retrieved from Ted's pocket.

Justin slid next to Michael and fervently drew. He finished quickly and pushed the napkin to the center of the table.

"The drawing is too one dimensional to really get the effect. It's fluted delicately and from the bottom, the line of it flows outward gracefully. The color is an emerald green and the Celtic symbol is repeated around the neck"

"Do you know what the symbol means?" Michael asked with a tinge of jealousy to his voice.

"Beauty."

Emmett gasped and teared up, Ted looked stunned, blinking his eyes rapidly, Michael sighed loudly and whispered under his breath 'You don't deserve it.'

"Michael!" Emmett reached over and slapped Michael's hand. "Of course our baby deserves flowers and a lot more if you ask me."

"And who asked you?." Michael spat back.

Justin's cell rang interrupting the two men before a heated argument could ensue.

"Hi!"

"Well speak of Prince Charming." Emmett stated while giving Michael a throughly satisfied grin.

"The flowers are beautiful and I love the vase." Justin winked at the guys and bounced into the kitchen and out into the alley to continue the converstion in private.

"Thanks. I'm glad you like it. But, I have to give Lindsay most of the credit."

"I thought you made it Brian? Your initials..."

"Oh, it's my masterpiece all right. Lindsay's a great teacher."

"Well...I love it! The color is rich and beautiful. It's a really asthetically beautiful piece Brian, you should be proud of it."

"It's okay. Anyway, I wanted to let you know I'll be out of town for a few days."

"Where? How long?" The disappointment in Justin's voice was as clear as his baby blues.

"Don't worry Sunshine, no place worth going to, but I got a lead on a possibly huge client. Their headquartered in hicktown USA, Hendersonville, Kentucky to be exact. And I'll be back late Wednesday night."

"Will I get to see you at all this week?"

"How about Friday night. I'll pick you up at say six?"

Justin's mood brightened and his smile came back in full force. "Okay. Babylon?"

"How about you decide what 'you' want to do?"

"Anything 'I' want to do?" He had to repeat it just to make sure he had heard Brian right.

"I already said that Justin." Brian couldn't help laughing to himself. Hell, he was even surprised he'd said it.

"There's this play on campus about two brothers. It was written by Sam Shepard."

"True West."

"Yeah you know it?"

"It's a great play. What's the name of the theater and I'll have Cynthia order the tickets."

"No that's okay. I'll get them and pay for dinner."

"Justin I...uh...okay as long as it doesn't short you."

"It won't."

"Okay, well my flight's just been called so I gotta go. Have a good week and I'll see you on Friday."

"Bye. Wait! Brian you still there?"

"Uh huh."

"Have a good flight. I...I ummm."

"Me too. Later sunshine."

"Later...sweetheart." Justin giggled at his boldness and he could feel Brian's smile on the other end.

************************************************

The loft. It's late and the loft is dark. The downstairs buzzer goes off and continues to go off until Brian stumbles through the dark to answer it.

"What the fuck?"

"Brian it's me. I...well I need you. Please." Justin's voice came over the intercom he sounded desperate.

"Yeah...okay." Justin's outburst brought him to complete alertness and he buzzed him in.

Justin took the stairs because the damn elevator was too slow. He needed Brian now and knew that he would be waiting with the door open when he got to the top of the 4^th floor landing.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked wide-eyed and dressed only in his silk robe.

Justin pushed him inside and closed the door behind them.

"I told you. I need you. Are you alone?"

"Justin it's 3am on Wednesday... make that Thursday morning. No one's here I told you..."

"I know and I'm not checking up on you, honest. I've been thinking about things. About us for the last 99 hours." Justin looked at his watch. "Five minutes and thirty-two seconds and I can't take it anymore."

"Can't take what?" Brian instantly felt like he'd fucked up and Justin was going to tell him the relationship idea was bullshit.

"One more minute." Justin grabbed the belt of Brian's robe and yanked. He slipped his hands inside the robe before the belt could completely fall away wrapped his arms tightly around Brian and kissed him. Then he pushed the robe over Brian's shoulders and stood back to watch it fall to the floor.

Brian was thrown by the unexpected onslaught of affection and then stunned by Justin's sudden release. He watched Justin's face carefully. The kid was looking at him as if he were ready to devour him whole. Which didn't seem like a bad thing at the moment.

"This is what you wanted? To get me going and then stare at me naked?"

"Part of it. You are even more beautiful naked, god if that's even possible!" Justin wasn't used to being this assertive in their sexual relationship, but a voice inside him said 'go for it' so he did. He quickly stripped out of his own cloths then grabbed Brian's hand and pulled him into the bedroom. Strangely enough Brian followed not saying a word.

When they got to the bedroom Justin spun Brian around so that the back of his legs were against the bed and pushed into him, throwing him off balance and he landed sprawled on the bed. Justin crawled on the bed and hovered over Brian's face waiting for a visual signal that he wanted him to continue. Brian let his silence speak for him. To make sure he'd gotten the signal correct, Justin leaned down and kissed him then took Brian's arms and pinned them above his head.

"A month is too long Brian and I don't think...no I know we don't need to 'not' have sex to figure out how to have a real relationship."

"We don't?"

"The last 99 hours, five minutes and thirty-two seconds." Brian finished for him.

"Yeah, let's promise each other we'll talk about things and then we can fuck all we want." Justin smiled brightly at his solving the nonsex dilemma.

"I don't know Justin. Talking about things isn't one of my strong points."

"Okay...promise to try."

"Justin I..."

"Please Brian." Justin put on his most irresistible puppy dog face.

"That's not fair. Okay, okay. I promise to try. Now what?"

"Relax and let me drive for awhile."

Brian allowed himself to be completely vulnerable to his lover. It was much more relaxing than he'd thought it would be. To be the one accepting instead of giving; only he soon discovered that wasn't totally what Justin had in mind.

After Justin finished kissing and nipping at every inch of skin on his torso, he leaned in resting his forehead to Brian's and told him what he needed. "I need to feel you inside me. My ass misses your dick something awful."With a slight giggle Justin reached for a condom, expertly tore the package open with his teeth and rolled it onto Brian's cock.

*******************************************

The loft, its late Sunday afternoon. Brian is on the computer. Gus and Justin are busy at the dining table, which is covered with newspapers for protection, creating a Birthday masterpiece for Lindsay's birthday using fingerpaints and sponge cut-outs of various shapes and sizes.

They all finish their work at the same time. Justin hands Gus a handful of paper towels to wipe his paint cover little hands with.

"Jusin an me need a shaaawoo dada, kay?" Gus announced, then climbed down from his chair and headed to the bathroom waiting for Justin after he climbed the stairs.

The two men looked at each other and laughed. Brian winked at Justin. "And who's going to clean up your mess?"

"You keen up, kay." Gus held up his hands to show his father the mess he'd made of himself, sure that was enough of an explanation.

"Why should I clean up 'your' mess?" Dada tried to look stern.

"Let me get him cleaned up first Brian then I'll do it." Justin had noticed the little boy yawning as they put the finishing touches on Lindsay's present. He'd noticed when he spent time with Gus, that if the kid got tired he simply went to sleep, anywhere in the middle of dinner, walking around at the zoo, even during an outing at Chuck E. Cheezes. Justin laughed to himself remembering Brian dealing with that monumental event.

"What's that going to teach him?"

Justin walked over to Brian and whispered. "He's going to drop soon. Would you like him to fall asleep covered in paint? Lindsay may think its cute, but..."

"Mel would kick my ahhh..." Brian caught himself. He'd promised Gus to try and stop saying bad words. "Okay Sonny boy, but first you have to repeat the sentence 'Justin and I need to take a shower.' correctly."

Brian didn't want to admit it and he knew Gus was only 2 ½, but the problems Gus was having pronouncing letters bothered him, a little. He walked over and knelt in front of his son. It helped Gus to see his father mouth the words so he could say them correctly.

"Jusin and I..." Gus opened his mouth wide to say I. "need to take a shhhhooowwweeeerrrr, kay?" Gus smiled brightly at his accomplishment. Brian leaned in and gave him a kiss, during which Gus placed his messy hands on each side of his fathers face leaving two perfect little multi-colored handprints.

"You forgot the T in Justin." "No 'my' Jusin." Gus shook his head and waited for the signal from his father to join Justin.

Brian looked up to Justin. "I'm supposed to understand that, right?"

Justin offered him only a guilty smile.

"You'll explain it to my later?"

Justin nodded and handed him a rag to wipe the paint off with.

"You're excused to go play in the water with your Jusin." Brian turned the little boy by his shoulder, nudged him in Justin's direction then patted his diapered butt lightly.

While his boys were playing in the water Brian decided to start work on the mess on his dining table. The downstairs intercom buzzed. "Lindsay you're too early can you come back in about an hour?"

"Brian, it's me...your mother."

"Shit!"

"What was that? Buzz me in dear I brought cookies, oatmeal raisin, your favorite."

"Mom you really should call before ..."

"Are you going to tell me I can't see you after almost an hour on the city bus?"

Brian leaned his head on the wall, sighed loudly, and buzzed his mother in.

A few moments later Brian opened the door as the elevator stopped. He pulled up the elevator door for her.

"Mom, please listen closely. If my disgusting lifestyle bothers you so much it's imperative that you call first."

"It doesn't disgust me Brian. I simply believe its wrong. Besides you don't have that 'boy' in your life anymore." Joanie spouted as she slid past Brian and into the loft. "Have you been painting?" She noticed the remnants of paint left on Brian's face. Joanie continued into the loft setting the large box of cookies on the counter. She glanced towards the dining table and then understood her son's hesitation at letting her in.

"Another 'boy' Brian? Fingerpaints? Please don't tell me this one is younger than the last."

Brian closed the loft door and turned towards his mother. "Much, now why are you here?"

"Because, I wanted to be the first to tell you the wonderful news."

"You're moving to Arkansas?"

"Even your sarcastic rhetoric can't dampen my spirits today. Your sister is getting married."

"Yee haw. Yet another loser to add to the ranks of the Kinney family tree."

Joanie sighed loudly, folded her arms and waited for her son to apologize.

"Sorry, please continue." Brian rolled his eyes.

"His name is Wendell McMahon and he is a wonderful man. He's a bit older than Claire and he adores the boys."

"I'll bet."

"Can't you just once be happy for your sister. It's been terribly hard on her raising those boys, practically, alone!" Joanie snapped at Brian losing her usual cold demeanor.

Breaking from his mother's glare Brian walked over to his couch and dropped onto it.

"So when's the big event?"

Taking this as her cue that her son was now going to be more receptive she took a seat beside him.

"Next month on the 15th. And I think it would be a nice gesture, on your part, if you were the one to give her away."

"It's good to see you finally found your sense of humor mother." Brian laughed and shook his head. There is no way she could be serious, must be one too many early morning highballs.

"I'm serious Brian. Claire is finally going to have a big church wedding and since your father's gone..."

"Why didn't she ask me?"

"She thought you would say no."

"She's right."

"Brian Alan Kinney, you are apart of this family whether you like it or not." Joanie stood up her stony mask slipping into place once again.

"Since when do you give a damn if I'm part of this fucked-up family or not?"

"Dada!" Gus came running out of the bathroom naked and wet. "Dada you pwomesd."

Brian got up from the couch, and scooped up his son. He held him close and turned away from his mother.

Justin rushed out of the bathroom, thankfully he had on the new thick cotton robe Brian bought him to use while he was at the loft. "Gus don't take off like that." Justin stopped short when he noticed they had company. "Oh…uh hi Mrs. Kinney. Come on Gus your mommies will be here soon." Justin held out his arms and Brian handed his son off to his young lover.

"Jusin who's dat wady?" Gus asked as he was being carted off into the bedroom.

"She's your Dad's mom." Justin replied keeping his voice low.

"See wooks mean."

"I know."

Overhearing his son and Justin made Brian laugh involuntarily, which caused his mother's glare to harden, and make him feel as if he were about to be hit by an iceburg.

"Your son?" Joanie's voice trembled as she clasped her hands together.

"Yes. His name is Gus and Justin and I are…."

"Living a lie. Are you 'both' raising him?"

"Part of the time. He has two mothers that raise him full-time."

"An I hab Dada and my Jusin." Gus stated proudly from the top of the stairs before Justin swooped in, and took him back into the bedroom.

"Of all the things I thought you capable of, this wasn't one of them."

"I'm gay not a eunuch. You do realize there's a difference."

She ignored her sons sarcasm and continued to speak her mind. "How could you do this to your own son. To a little boy who can't decide for himself? Forcing him to grow-up with such dysfunction and sin. Brian he needs good moral people around him or he'll end up like…."

"Me? Look around 'Mom' I'm not doing so badly." Brian kept his voice even, not meeting his mother's eyes.

"This is all just material things. My grandson deserves more than things."

"He's not your grandson. And my son is loved and wanted. Those two things mean more than any crap spouted to him from an ancient book that's full of lies and contradictions."

Joanie clasped her hands tight her knuckles turning white. "Why are you such a hateful man Brian? I certainly didn't raise you that way. Jack and I gave you everything you needed, food, cloths, an education. God knows I tried to give you spiritual guidence, but you've always acted like you were so much better than we were. As if you were above God."

"What can I say? I was raised by a stone cold saint and the king of all bastards." Brian's expression matched the coldness of his mothers.

"Go to hell Brian! Go to hell and take your little blond play thing with you!" For the first time in her life she truly felt nothing for her son except anger.

"It's time to leave mother." Brian held the loft door open for her he made no attempt at eye contact.

Brian felt the earth move as his mother marched right up to him.

"You are no longer my son. And I will be praying for yours."

Justin thought the loft door would slide of the track, as it crashed into the door jam.

Brian stomped into the bedroom, grabbed a shirt from his closet and put it on without buttoning it. Then he stepped into a pair of running shoes.

"Where are you going?"

"Out." Brian stated as he slid into his leather jacket and left the bedroom.

"Gus stay here I'll be right back. I need to talk to your dad."

Gus nodded his expression is as intense as his fathers. He knows something's wrong.

When Justin enters the livingroom Brian is searching for his keys.

"If you're going to come home drunk, high and smelling like the backroom of Babylon...don't."

Brian stopped looking and whirled around to look at Justin. "Don't come home or don't come back?" Brian desperately tried to keep the pain from his face, it wasn't working and he knew it. What he did know is that he had to get away before he did, or said something to hurt the two most important people in his life.

Deep down he knew his mother was wrong, but she'd used the same old trick that had become old hat to him by the ripe old age of 12. She would take all of his insecurities, ball them into a few short sentences, and lob them at him hitting the bulls eye every time. While the chastised kid inside, stood helpless, as the feelings of worthlessness exploded all over him.

"Don't let her win Brian. She's a bitter old woman and she doesn't want to see you happy because your life doesn't fit her damn biblical code."

Brian retrieved his keys from under the coffee table.

"He knows something's wrong."

Brian crossed to the door and stopped.

"What do I tell Lindsay and Melanie?"

"Tell Melanie she was right." Brian opened the heavy door and left.

"I love you." Justin spoke through trembling lips as the loft door once again slammed shut.

Gus crept down the bedroom stairs after hearing the door. Justin's back is to him.

"Jusin? Where dada go?"

Justin wiped the tears away quickly and turned to the little boy. "Out for a little while. He just needs a little alone time."

Gus climbed up in the couch and Justin sat next to him. "Is dada's momma a mean wady?"

"Not mean Gus, just sad and lonely."