Second Chances VIII
Lindsay and Mel’s following Monday.
Mel enters the house. She hears laughter coming from the attic studio. At the top of the stairs Mel is stunned to silence by what she sees. Brian is sitting on a stool with Lindsay leaning over behind him. Their hands are working a piece of clay on a pottery wheel. Lindsay’s fingers are intertwined with Brian’s guiding him in forming the clay.
"Having a Ghost moment are we?" Melanie breaks her silence.
Lindsay barely looks up. Brian is too engrossed in forming the clay to break concentration.
"I’m giving Brian a lesson."
"Yeah, I can see that. Where’d the ‘brand new’ wheel come from?"
"Brian..."
"In exchange for what favors?"
"Just keep your hands steady as the wheel slows." Lindsay instructed as she withdrew her hands leaving Brian to handle the clay on his own. Lindsay crossed the room to the sink and began to wash up. Mel followed.
"Well?" Her lover demanded to know the extent of Lindsay’s indebtedness to Lord Brian.
"Lessons." Lindsay answered keeping her voice low.
"Lessons? Did I just enter the fucking twilight zone?" Mel raised her voice and glared across the room at her nemesis who at the moment looked more like a nervous Nelly trying not to fuck up his little clay pot.
"Keep your voice down Mel. This is his fifth attempt if he doesn’t produce something that looks remotely like a vase I’ll be here all night." Working with Brian for the last six hours had been fun and challenging. A true perfectionist, Brian was determined to get the basics down quickly and get on with creating. She knew he would stay in her studio until dawn if that’s what it took.
"Okay. Next question, and I’m almost too afraid to ask this, but...why?"
"I’m not sure if I can say."
"So you’re not going to tell me? What is this, some secret between old college buddies?"
"Might as well tell her Linds." The girls both jumped not expecting Brian to be standing directly behind them. "But wait until I’m washed up and gone. I’ve had my fill of humiliation today."
"Oh Bri...I told you from the beginning it wasn’t going to be easy. You did exceptionally well for a beginner. It took me weeks to even get the clay two inches off the wheel. You’ve already created a six inch vase. Be happy about that."
"I’ll get excited when it doesn’t look like the fucking leaning tower of Pisa!"
At that moment the tension was broken by the sound of Gus crying coming from the baby monitor.
"I’ll take care of sonny boy while you two have a good laugh over how pathetic I’m becoming."
"Becoming?" Mel threw back.
Brian rolled his eyes, washed and dried his hands then left to soothe his son.
"God Mel, can’t you once just give him the benefit? He’s trying to change...he is changing."
"That still doesn’t explain you two getting cozy over the pottery wheel."
"It’s for Justin. He wants to try to start over to be in a real relationship with Justin."
"He’s making something for Justin? How sweet....ewe." Mel curled her lips in mock disgust.
"Stop making fun. Brian is really serious about this. It’s a way to give Justin a little bit of himself the way Justin’s always done for him."
"Why doesn’t he just fuck him?"
"Forget it! You don’t want to understand or have any kind of compassion for the man who happens to be our son’s father then...well...just forget it." Lindsay threw her hands up in defeat and headed for the stairs.
"Wait."
Lindsay stopped and waited for what Mel was about to say, keeping her back to her.
"It’s...I’m not as easily convinced as you are. He’s still Brian Kinney for Christ sake. Okay, he’s taken a bigger interest in Gus. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he is really serious about that and continues to spend time with him. But where Justin is concerned I still think it’s about Brian not being able to deal with loss or that this isn’t simply his ego wanting Justin back because the kid walked away from him."
"Justin didn’t walk away from him. You know that as well as anyone. Believe what you want Mel. I’m going to help Brian learn how to be a giving person."
"Brian’s always been good at ‘giving’ it’s what he won’t give that Justin wants."
"And that’s why he’s doing this. His plan is to..."
"His plan? That sounds ‘romantic’!"
"It is. Brian wants to earn the love that Justin has for him."
"You’ve got to be shitting me?"
"Those ‘things’ you say he won’t give Justin...well that’s exactly what he’s trying to do, ‘give’ him what he needs. Can’t you for once think about how hard it must be for him to do that? Hell, you met stone cold Joanie Kinney and Jack ...." Lindsay cut off her words. She had already said too much.
"What about Jack? I know he was a bastard to Brian, but aren’t most fathers?"
"No. And most father’s don’t take their anger and frustration out on their kids physically."
"Jack abused him?"
"Why does that surprise you? Brian has all the classic signs of an abused childhood. And before you say anything you know he would never do that to Gus."
"Damn, I figured his old man was a jerk...."
"Don’t ever say anything. Brian told me some things a long time ago in confidence. I...I just want you to understand."
Lindsay continued down the stairs, leaving Mel to contemplate the importance of Lindsay’s sharing a little of Brian’s past with her.
*****************************
Brian is in Gus’s room rocking him back to sleep.
"How often does he wake up screaming?" Brian asked when he noticed Lindsay watching him from the doorway.
"Not often. At little more lately since..." Lindsay bit her lip.
"Since I took him last weekend?" Brian looked down at his son. Gus was asleep and dada wiped away the remainder of the tears as a feeling of guilt washed over him.
"It’s nothing. His schedule’s a little disrupted that’s all. He’ll get used to it."
"May be it’s not such a good idea, especially, after the crying fit he went into when I dropped him off Sunday."
"Do you want out of it so soon?"
"No, but I don’t want to be the cause of my son being upset and having nightmares either."
"Gus is fine and he will get used to the change. Brian, what’s really wrong?"
Brian stood up slowly and gently placed his sleeping son back into his crib.
"Nothing’s wrong exactly. Linds this is all new territory for me. I don’t like feeling so damn unsure of myself."
"Welcome to the world of being a parent." Lindsay walked over to him and pulled him into a quick hug. "Give it time. The more time you spend with Gus, the more confident you’ll get. I have to say I am enjoying watching the process" Lindsay stepped back to see Brian’s reaction to her chiding.
"You’re enjoying my lack of confidence? And I thought you were on my side."
"I am and it’s not the lack of confidence, it’s seeing your soft underbelly that’s so damn fascinating." Lindsay smiled and jabbed a finger into Brian’s stomach. "Why don’t you go home. I’ll finish cleaning up and I promise to be careful with your masterpiece."
"Thanks." He brushed his lips quickly across her cheek and left the room.
*****************************
Brian is down stairs putting his jacket on when Melanie enters the foyer.
"I know my advice probably won’t mean shit to you, but don’t change too much."
"That’s an odd bit of advice coming from you."
"Yeah well take it for what it is. Trust me. If you change too much Justin won’t recognize the guy he fell in love with. Trying to be a better person is good, but don’t lose yourself in the process."
"Isn’t that what everyone wants?"
"And since ‘when’ do you do what other people want you to?"
Brian shrugged his shoulders not knowing how to respond to Melanie’s sudden concern for him.
"I’ve been where you are Brian and it didn’t work. Justin fell in love with who you are underneath all the bullshit. You should pay more attention to your alter ego."
"My alter ego is a fucking comic book hero."
"True. And Michael and Justin have given him all the special qualities that they love about you."
Brian stares in amazement at her for a moment then nods slightly and leaves feeling a plethora of emotions that will keep him up most of the night.
********************************
Saturday morning Liberty Diner. Michael bounces in sliding in the booth with the guys next to Brian.
"We on for Babylon tonight?"
"Can’t, Teddy and I are going to see Madam Butterfly."
"A date? I thought you guys decided..." Michael asked.
"Not a date date, a friendly date." Emmett clarified. "Where’s the good Professor?"
"Convention in Philadelphia."
Ted ignored the conversation engrossed in the stock market section of the New York Times.
"Damn, I giving up on the market." Ted grumbled and closed the paper.
"I told you Ted stocks are for fools." Brian interjected.
"Yeah, yeah Mr. Millionaire. ‘The money’s in commodities and real estate.’" Ted shook his head.
"Millionaire? Brian you have a million dollars?" Michael was shocked that he didn’t know.
"More like three and I don’t think the entire diner needs to know that."
"Where do you keep all that money?"
Justin approached with coffee.
"You want to keep your voice down Mikey. That’s what my portfolio is worth and don’t ask. I’ll explain it later when I have three hours and the patience to spare."
"Okay, so we up for Babylon?"
Without asking Justin turned over Brian’s cup and poured. He could feel Brian’s eyes on him.
"Brian?" Michael was annoyed at his best friends lack of attention.
"I...uh...I might have plans?" Brian stammered keeping his eyes on Justin.
Justin’s complete attention went to Brian after hearing that.
"Like what? The baths? A trick?" Michael snarked.
"Like a date." Brian’s focus stayed on the blond who almost poured the coffee in his lap after he heard the word ‘date.’
"What?" Everyone at the booth to include Justin remarked at the same time and then turned their full attention to Brian.
"Are you busy tonight?"
"Why? You need me to watch Gus?"
"I had Gus last weekend remember? Justin...I’d like you to...I mean would you join me for dinner...tonight?"
Both Ted and Emmett’s mouths hung wide open in disbelief.
"Here?" Justin asked with wide-eyed innocence.
"Papagano’s"
"No shit?"
"No shit." Brian laughed. "Well?"
"Ummm...yeah...yes. I mean I’d love to have dinner with you."
"Pick you up at seven?"
"Yeah. Seven’s fine." A stunned Justin went back to the counter and returned the coffee pot to its burner without remembering to take their orders.
"Hey Boy Wonder you wanna come down from the clouds for a few seconds to take our orders." Michael yelled.
"Oh, yeah." Justin returned to the table. "Brian, wait I don’t have anything decent enough to wear to Papagano’s."
"Yes you do. You left some things at the loft." Brian smiled and winked.
"O..okay." Justin looked confused, but left it at that. ‘God that man can be such a fucking mystery sometimes.’ he thought. Then the confused look was replaced with a huge brilliant smile. Brian Kinney was taking him on a date! A real date. At a real restaurant. Wholly shit! He couldn’t wait to spill to Daphne.
***************************************
Saturday afternoon. Lindsay’s studio.
"That is ‘not’ the same color Linds." Brian held up the lid to the jar of ceramic paint next to his finished masterpiece.
"Read the fine print sweetie. In a perfect world the color always comes out the way you expect it."
"Is it so much to expect the fucking color to be even ‘close’ to what they advertise?!!! Don’t answer that." Brian held up his palm to Lindsay before she could respond. "And don’t say a fucking thing about what I should know about advertising."
"You’re too critical. I think it turned out beautifully. He’ll love it and that you made it for ‘him’ is what really matters."
"Don’t talk to me like I’m one of your students. I’m not some kid trying to please mommy and daddy. Justin is an artist! He knows shit when he sees it and I don’t want him to have to lie to keep from hurting my feelings."
"Score one for the new Brian. He admits to actually ‘having’ feelings."
"Bitch." Brian stuck his tongue out at her.
"So mature Brian...and stop being such a perfectionist. It’s a good piece and an incredible first ... I mean tenth effort. Hell, Brian you had it by the fifth piece. Which, by the way, I’m keeping for Gus."
"Fine. And the Florist?"
"Miguel said he will have it delivered on Sunday, but he’s going to..."
"Charge me extra. I figured. Doesn’t anyone go out of their way for romance any more?" Brian smirked then punched Lindsay lightly in the arm. "Thanks for going out of your way."
"Why not I got a top of the line pottery wheel for my part. Kidding aside Brian, I would have helped you anyway. All you had to do was ask. The bribe wasn’t necessary."
"How else was I going to get private lessons from one of the best art teachers in town."
"Oh...you’re getting good Brian. Now don’t forget to use a big helping of that Kinney charm tonight. Let Justin feel what it’s like to really be swept off his feet."
"Lindsay." Brian folded his arms, a sudden case of ‘nerves’ settling in.
Lindsay watched his demeanor change. She cupped his face in her hands. "You’ll do great Brian. Justin will really appreciate all of this."
"What about fucking? I mean sex...we should wait for a little while right? It’s not where we’ve ever had a problem, so I was thinking we should work the other stuff out first."
"Peter Pan is really growing up." Lindsay reached up and playfully pinched Brian’s cheek.