Chapter 6

Catatonic

"A brain tumor!!!"

"Please Mr. Novotny calm down. I said it was a possibility. We'll know more when all the tests are back."Dr. Aktar placed his hand on Justin's shoulder."We don't know anything for sure yet. You have to keep a positive attitude your friend is going to need it."

"But a brain tumor would explain the personality change and how he is now wouldn't it?" Justin asked while feeling that his whole world was closing in on him.

"It would and so does a host of other possibilities including mental illness." Aktar explained.

"What if the cancer came back?" Michael asked.

"That too is a possibility. Although, I've looked over his last test results that were taken a month ago and everything came back fine. I think that cancer is a remote possibility, but we're not ruling it out."

"Can he hear us or see us when he's like this?"

"He's not comatose Mr. Taylor. A person in a catatonic state can see, hear and feel everything that's going on, but for some reason they can't or don't want to respond."

"I'm going to stay with him...in his room."

"Me too." Michael added.

"Mr. Taylor I can assure you your partner is getting the best care. You can stay with him during visiting hours..."

Justin took some paperwork out of his bag and handed it to the doctor.

"Brian gave me power of attorney over his affairs should something happen to him. That includes overseeing his medical care and making decisions when he's not able. I would like an extra bed put in the room or at least, a comfortable chair. I'm not leaving him alone." Justin stood firm and the doctor had no choice but to concede to Justin's strong will.

"I'm sure we can find an extra cot."

"When will he be back in his room?"

"A few more hours."

"Thank you doctor." Justin offered his hand giving the doctor an extra firm handshake.

Michael simply followed still in shock over the chaos that had ensued over the past 48 hours.

Before Justin could leave the doctor decided to give a word of warning to the two friends.

"He's going to need all your strength, understanding and more. You know this?"

Justin nodded and left the office. Michael stopped and turned to the doctor before following Justin.

"And he has me." Michael failed in his attempt to mimic Justin's strong character.

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Later in the cafeteria at Johns Hopkins Hospital.

"Michael, I want to thank you for all your help getting Brian to Baltimore..."

"I'm not leaving so don't even try giving me that kiss off crap." Michael stated smugly.

"Don't be an asshole about this."

"He's my 'best friend'." Michael threw out 'once again' all puffed out chest and self-righteousness attitude.

Justin shook his head and stared across the room letting his expression go blank.

"Good you finally know your place. Go home Michael."

"You need me as much as he does. You can't handle this alone."

"I won't be alone he has doctors, and you and the family are only a phone call away." Justin finally turned and looked at the now brooding Michael.

"What are you trying to prove, or is this because you feel guilty about leaving him...again." Michael put strong emphasis on the last word.

"Fuck you Michael! I didn't leave him. You're not goading me into this argument now or ever. Brian and I are partners and you need to back off."

"Fine, but I want at least two phone calls a day or I'm coming back." Michael felt he had to get something out of the deal.

"Fine."

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Justin walked Michael to the rental car to say good bye.

"What do I tell them?" Michael shrugged not sure of how much to tell the family and relying on Justin's judgement in the matter.

"Tell them Brian's in good hands and is getting treatment. And I'll bring him home as soon as I can."

"Ma's gonna want details."

Justin reached behind Michael and opened the driver's side door.

"Goodbye Michael, and thanks."

"Jesus Justin, he's practically a fucking vegetable and you want me to just tell them he's in good hands?"

"That's exactly what you are going to do. And under no circumstances is anyone to tell Jonie Kenny about any of this...got it!!!!"

"She's his mother Justin she has the right..."

"She gave up that right when she told him he was going to burn in hell for being gay."

"She's still his mother." Michael replied softly.

"She's a cold-hearted bitch who couldn't even show him an ounce of compassion when he told her he had cancer."

Michael finally nodded in agreement.

"What about the Agency?"

"I've already talked to Ted and Cynthia they're handling things for now."

"He could lose everything."

"And the world could blow-up tomorrow... fuck Michael!"

"I'm sorry...seeing him like that..." Michael began to break down. Justin put his arms around his friend and hugged him tight, taking as well as giving.

"Not the super hero you've always thought him to be huh?"

Michael stepped back and wiping his face with his sleeve.

"Brian's always been so strong. The one who took care of things."

"He's lost his powers before. He'll get them back." Justin tried to asure Michael as well as himself.

Michael nodded and climbed into the car. Justin closed the door and leaned on the window.

"You know if you or I had gone through all the shit he has we'd have never made it as far. Something terrible set this off and we need to find out what. I've got a gut feeling it's the key to all of this."

"Any clues?"

"That can be your job when you get back."

That seemed to make it easier for Michael to leave his friends. At least he would be doing something to help.

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Brian's hospital room.

Brian is lying in bed with a fixed stare on his face. With the exception of an occasional involuntary blink or swallow...he looked dead.

Justin approached the bed slowly.

"The doctor ordered every test imaginable so we should know something soon." Justin kept his voice low and soft. "I hope it wasn't too bad" He stroked Brian's stubbled cheek with the back of his hand. "You need a shave." He moved his hand to finger a few strands of greasy hair that were now stuck together with glue from where electrodes that had been placed around Brian's head. He remembered how hard it was to get out of his own hair when he was in the hospital. 'Fate sucks'

A nurse entered to take the patients vitals. She looked like an older version Deb, red hair, pudgy cheeks and a big smile.

"How's he doing?"

"No change."

"I'm sorry honey."

The nurse began her routine of checking vitals with the precision of a long time vet.

"His vital signs are all good. That really is a good sign even if it doesn't seem like it to look at him."

Justin nodded solemnly and sat down in a chair under the window.

"I'm Katie." The nurse offered Justin a friendly handshake. Justin stood up to accept it.

"Justin Taylor I'm his partner. I mean Brian's partner." Justin stuttered, unsure of exactly how to explain his connection to the man in the hospital bed who was Brian Kinney, but didn't know he was. Justin's head started to hurt again.

"I understand sweetie. I've seen more than my share of these types of cases in my overly long career. Between you and me I should've been put out to pasture years ago, but then what the hell would I do with my life, no husband, no kids, not even a damn cat." She laughed at herself.

Justin couldn't help but smile. She was 'a lot' like Deb.

"You've seen this a lot?" Justin motioned toward the bed.

"Not so much since I've been retired from the Army. We used to call it shell shock."

"Shell shock? Brian's never been a soldier."

"Don't have to be to have tragic things happen these days."

Justin felt as if Katie had read his mind. He and Brian had both been witness and victims to horrible events just because they were gay.

"Sometimes blocking out the world is one way of dealing with it."

"Do you think that's what he's doing?"

"I'm not a psychiatrist Justin I only know what I've seen."

"The people you've seen do they come out of it?"

"It takes a few days, sometimes a few weeks. Only ever heard of rare cases where people stay catatonic for years. Have faith talk to him, read to him, play music just let him know you're here he'll come back."

"What if...."

"Don't go there sweetheart. The tests will be back in a few days. Take one day at a time."

Justin nodded. She was right just like Deb always was.

"Can I clean him up? Brian hates for his hair to be greasy."

"As long as he lets you. Take it easy and slow with him, okay?"

"I would never force him." Did she really think he would do that? Justin could feel his ears getting hot.

"Sorry, old habit being a nurse is like being everyone's mom. Do you want my help?"

"I can do it."

"Do you need anything? I think I can find some shampoo."

"No I have everything."

"I'll bring in a clean gown."

"I have clothes for him."

"Sorry kiddo hospital rules. And use the stool we don't want him falling in there."

"Yes ma'am."

"Justin."

"What else?" He sighed loudly his patience with the overly protective nurse growing thin.

"I know my patients in the best of hands." Katie smiled and winked. And then she was gone.

The room suddenly seemed so quiet Justin could hear his own heartbeat. He took a deep breath and then blew it out slowly before walking over to the bed. He pulled back the covers and eased Brian's long legs to the side of the bed and guided him into a sitting position, legs dangling over the edge.

"Stand up for me. I'll help you get cleaned up." He gave Brian's hand a gentle tug and like a robot following his masters orders Brian slid his feet to the floor and stood up. Justin watched Brian's face for any change. Nothing just a blank canvas and empty eyes.

Justin took Brian's hand and led him slowly into the bathroom. He untied the gown and slid it off of Brian's shoulders down his arms then threw it into the hamper.

"Just a small step up." Justin got behind Brian placed his hands on the mans hips and guided him up into the shower and down onto the stool. The hand held shower head made it easy to shampoo Brian's hair and wash the major parts of his body. As Justin bathed his partner he explained everything he was doing and instructed Brian to close his eyes so the shampoo wouldn't get in them. Justin carried on a one sided conversation about trivial things such as the weather in Baltimore, how nice the staff was at the hospital, a few gossipy things he'd heard while in Hollywierd etc.

When it came time to wash Brian's genital's Justin suddenly became nervous as how to approach the area without possibly causing Brian/Paul further trauma. He remembered Dr. Landry telling him that Paul became hysterical when the er doctor did his examination.

"I'm going to wash your genitals now so if you don't want me to just take the washcloth and do it yourself. I'll turn around until your done." Justin held out the soapy washcloth for a few minutes hoping Brian would take it. When Brian didn't move to take the washcloth Justin thought about simply leaving the area unwashed. Deciding against it knowing how he'd felt in the hospital after so many days he could barely stand himself. Justin spread Brian's legs open slowly. Then slid the washcloth along Brian's right thigh as he watched for any change in the man's features.

"If you want me to stop just touch my hand. I don't want to do anything to upset you." Justin whispered as he continued to watch Brian's face.

Still seeing no sign Justin began washing Brian's testicles moving the wash cloth in gentle circles soaping his pubic hair and stroking the washcloth along Brian's shaft to the head of his penis, and then underneath washing his scrotum and ever so gently pushing the washcloth to cleanse around his rectum. To his surprise, or maybe he wasn't so surprised, Brian's cock responded to the attention. Then he heard a barely audible moan escape deep from Brian's throat. Once again Justin watched Brian's face as he slowly stroked his dick now with his soapy hand instead of the washcloth.

"Come on Brian give into this. Come back or just cum so I know you're still in there."

Brian's head tilted slightly backwards and he closed his eyes. His hands came up to grip the sides of the stool. Each stroke Justin gave his cock elicited a moan. As Brian's dick grew harder the moans grew louder. Without thinking Justin replaced his hand with his mouth taking Brian's beautiful cock deep into his throat. Justin's only thought was that if anything could bring Brian Kinney back it would be one of his 'world-class blow jobs!'