I knew from the moment I even heard the title, Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me, I was going to see it. I was there, baby, opening weekend for my mandatory Austin Shagfest, especially if it meant contributing toward topping Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace (which I have not seen yet, thank you very much). And in spite of the excess publicity, I was still excited. I think I'll start with that.

The publicity for Austin Powers 2 was probably one of the most obnoxious things I've ever had to deal with, especially since K-Rock (the Howard Stern station, for the uninformed) plays 45-minute blocks of commercials after playing four songs at a time. I must have heard the same radio spot for AP2 five times in a fifteen-minute car ride. I thought I was gonna die! Then there came the TV commercials, which were funny - the first eighty times I saw them. Don't get me wrong, I love my Austin, I love my Dr. Evil, but how many times can we hear that damn strumpet say "I was just admiring your Heiney"? Though, I have to admit, the spoof of the credit card commercial ("1/8 clone of yourself...priceless") was funny. But I think I've had enough of the godawful Austin impersonators trying to be cool to sell stuff at Reel.com.

Now, the actual movie. Before I begin, I loved the original. I didn't see it in the first release; I waited until the second release (aka "cheapie theaters"). It was worth the wait, though, because I was on painkillers around then and it was very "shagadelic." What made the first one so great was that it didn't seem as mainstream as most movies. It was made as a personal joke between Mike Myers and a few of his buddies, along with some things he picked up in his own household. It was cool! But AP2 is very aware that it's popular and it kind of panders to its fans. Sure, we liked Dr. Evil "quoting" everything, but after about thirty "LASERS," I was like "Okay, stop." Actually, it seemed more like Dr. Evil's movie than Austin's.

As fun as he was, Mini-Me started getting on my nerves. And did he actually end up eating his kitty and Mr. Bigglesworth? Because they were both gone after that scene.

Fat Bastard was awesome. I can't wait to get a sound wave of "Get in my belly!" I love gross scenes like the one where Heather Graham shoves the homing device up his ass. That was so awesomely nasty! I loved it!

I always knew Vanessa was a FemBot. She always seemed a little stiff. Come to think of it, I think Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is one, too.

I will always love Seth Green as Scott Evil. The funniest part was when he was on "Jerry Springer" with Dr. Evil. ("I've got your hood!") I thought I was going to throw up, that was so funny.

I also love Austin's nude romping, but I don't think this one was nearly as clever as the two scenes from the original. Though, it was a zesty (yes, zesty) way to start the movie after blowing up Elizabeth Hurley.

Heather Graham I like. (When I read that last sentence to myself, it looks as if Yoda typed it for me...no, wait, he would have typed "Heather Graham like I," I guess...) I thought she made a pretty convincing crackhead/porn star/little girl lost in Boogie Nights and was funny getting hacked up in Scream 2. I think I have a respect for her because she doesn't act like an actress when she doing publicity. She seems like more of a human being than, let's say, Rebecca "Look at me! Please! I'm over here, desperate for overexposure!" Romijn-Stamos. I think I also have respect for her because she's going to be in one of my "boyfriend's" movies, Bowfinger (which was bumped from opening July 23rd to August 13th, those bastards). She can also act, which is always a nice thing to see in the movies.

I loved it when Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissina did it and had that awkward "morning after at the office." ("I will never love another man." "Yes, that's true.")

Another thing I have a problem with is the soundtrack. The first one was this great compilation of old songs by new people, old songs by old people, and new songs by new people. Most of these new people were pretty obscure, which means that loving them automatically makes you cooler because if you love obscure bands, people can worship the knowledge that you possess and they don't. You obscure band lovers don't get that privelage on this soundtrack, unless the people you are talking to live in a cave. The 2nd soundtrack features Madonna, Lenny Kravitz, Scary Spice (excuse me, Mel B., I think), Green Day, and other people that everybody has heard of. Yawn...

Now I want to express my love for Mike Myers. I love Mike Myers. Ever since Wayne's World (which, by the way, Tia Carerre - whenever her name is mentioned in a blurb, it still always says "Tia Carerre (Wayne's World)..." Hasn't she done anything since - what, 1993? Anyway...). I think he is one of the cutest, smartest, most talented and creative human beings to ever enter Hollywood and "Saturday Night Live." I can't wait for him to do more stuff, and I hope he hosts "Saturday Night Live" again this season. Hell, he could have his own show and just sit there being Mike Myers and I'll watch it.

So, in general, I did like Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me, but it doesn't top the original by any means. Except for blowing up Elizabeth Hurley.