Back to the Main Page
Well here's a little story I've got to tell
About a soap called General Hospital
It started way back in history
When Jason Quartermaine was just a baby
It was Alan's affair, Susan Moore was hot
I popped out then she got shot
Monica took him back, I know it's a shame
Have you seen Alan's hair? Can you say Rogaine?
Oh, I have a brother by the way
He's the devil's child, his name's A.J.
He didn't play fair when mom would leave us
If I knew then, I'd swear he was Beavis
A.J. always got into trouble but no one cares
Except when he pushed Edward down the stairs
Edward's toupee flew off, the sight was swell
Nothing happened to A.J. because that shit was funny as Hell
Well on to med school where dreams are made
I don't know what it is, I could never get laid
Oh, I see it now, Jason Q the surgeon
Oh, my God, that poor bastard's still a virgin
Oh, my day will come, it doesn't really matter
Except everyone in Port Charles got beat up by Jagger
Oh, I got lucky once, it was Keesha no doubt
Is she my cousin or what? I still can't figure it out.
The old Jason Q was pretty lame you see
All he would say is "Grandmother, would you like some tea?"
"Oh, no dear, that's okay...
Just don't get in a car with that drunk A.J."
Next thing you knew I was in a Corvette
Woke up in a coma with a head like a Chia Pet
Now the old Jason's gone who used to please you
It's frontal edema, thank you, not amnesia
I don't know my family, nor my girlfriend
I was living in a boxcar - the beginning of the end?
Everyone who knew me thinks I'm a fool
Hey, I got laid already, that's pretty freaking cool
Yeah, I met this girl Carly, scored the first date
She's not Bobbie's daughter...try Norman Bates
Yeah, I ride a motorcycle, no it's not a Harley
Hell, I could ride a green machine and still pick up Carly!
And then there was Gina, she wants to go to a movie
After I drop her off, it's straight to Ruby's
Now I work for Sonny - ain't nothing funny
Looks like Poncharello and stole all my money
The stock he took was worth 60 mil
Uh, can I work for you now Sonny?
Yeah, that's a freaking deal
When Sonny drinks, he gets kind of silly
He sits in the dark and all he screams is "Lily!"
He always loved Lily, but it was Brenda from the start
I don't think Lily's coming back, she sorta fell apart
Then there's Taggart and Mac but no one told me
What's up with their hair? They probably used a Flow-Bee.
Don't mess around cause Sonny will watch it
Oh, by the way, who the Hell is Lasha?
Run Lasha run, as fast as you can
Don't turn around - it's Goatee Man
I must say I miss being in the Quartermaine clan
Next year's story, Monica turns out to be a man
Alan doesn't care, he'll sleep with anyone
Words of advice: Run, Reginald, run!
Now on a serious note
Sonny left the show
How much I'll miss him he'll truly never know
He taught me a lot but that's the past
If he ever comes back, I'll kick his ass
Well, that's the end of my poem
Before I get into a fight
Thanks for coming
Have a good night
Back to the Main Page