Retribution

Retribution by Diane Auld

Once upon a time in a land filled with hate, cruelty, and much sorrow was born a wonderful little girl. She was a like a light entering the lives of the two people who were her parents. These people found it very difficult to understand the love, devotion and wonder the little child brought them.
The pain these two people were feeling from their childhood prevented them from seeing a chance to break the evil spell they were under. They did not have the strength to resist the hate that grew within their hearts. They systematically worked together through arguing and fighting and terror to instill a great fear into their little daughter. As individuals they excelled in trying to destroy every bit of light in her heart. Her mother, hating her innocence made sure that this little soul knew about the evils of the world. Her Father, thinking only of his selfish desires played the cruelest game of all with Diane. He knew how much she needed his love, and he used that need to abuse her body and mind. Boundaries were broken, sexual play started early for Diane. Both her mother and father found outlets for their deep sexual frustrations and self hate.
Diane learned to not be present during most of her child hood. As she grew the little girl inside her who never really experienced her childhood held on to the horrors. This inner part of Diane held on so tightly to the memories of her early life that the adult Diane remembered very little of the abuse. She knew something was wrong but was not entirely sure what. Diane grew up with a deep sorrow and a strange feeling of not fitting in with the rest of the people in her world. Anger her smoldering companion was constantly turned against herself. They had done their job well, teaching Diane about self-hate. As she got older Diane tried many things to help herself feel better, but, the insidious effects of the abuse stayed with her. It's subtle power permeating all aspects of her life. Coating everything with a gray sludge.
As the memories of her childhood emerged Diane needed help to understand what was happening to her and what had happened. She found many wonderful people to help her. Help also came from unexpected sources this is the story of one such adventure.

One day Diane chanced to walk by an old abandoned house. As she walked past the rickety gate a voice said go into the house, just trust me on this one. The voice had a comforting tone so Diane walked up the path and into the house. The front door was hanging open on its hinges. As Diane walked through into the front entrance it was as if she were being led. She walked down the hall way and into an old library. As she entered the room it looked completely untouched by time.

Sitting in one of the chairs was the most magnificent creature she had ever seen. Diane looked startled and was about to apologize and leave, when the creature said to her. "I have been waiting for you Diane. I am an angel and I have come to give you a gift. I will take you back in time to your childhood and you will have an opportunity to teach your parents a lesson. You will have the ability to let your parents see what they have done to you. This can be done in any way that does not do any harm to them and you must use the Truth to help them understand. Whatever methods you use must gain their power by the truth. Do or say anything that is not the truth and you will be transported back to the present and it will be as if it never happened. You have one week in the past, and after that you will return to the present. You can think about it and I will return next week for your answer."

Diane thought about it long and hard. How could she use the Truth to teach her parents a lesson? All she wanted was revenge. She wanted them to pay. Her anger at them knew no bounds and it was eating away at her. She had to make them understand somehow. Yelling at dead people did not seem enough. Pounding pillows, when she wanted to smash her mother and father's face did not seem like a fair exchange. Because of her beliefs she also knew that revenge for the sake of revenge was not right.

One week past and she had made her decision. Diane told the Angel "I am going to use their dreams to show them what they have done."

That night as Margaret and David went off to sleep they dreamt. They were standing on a T shaped stage in a large hall. They were facing the curtains, their backs to the empty hall. As they stood there looking at each other and around the room, out from behind the curtains a little girl came walking accompanied by a beautiful angel. They realize it is Diane and she is about 5 years old. They start to walk towards her, she holds out her hand and says "stop." Try as they might they cannot move. Diane looks up at the angel and smiles. The angel says "I will leave you now, we will be near if you need us. Diane looks at her parents and says:
"You will not be able to say anything to me. I have some things to say to you and if any of what I say to you is a lie your ability to talk will be restored to you immediately. As I speak the truth you will find that you must listen, and you will find yourself listening like you have never listened before. The truth in my words will ring in your ears so clearly you will never forget."
"Because of the abuse you have done to me in my lifetime you will both be stripped of the titles of Mother and Father."

Margaret - You are the most evil of all creatures to walk this earth. You took all the devotion, love, and trust I gave and you destroyed it. You replaced it with such fear, terror and revulsion that it must be experienced to be believed. I trusted you. You have no idea what it felt like for that little baby to have you touching her with those thought filled with such lust, hatred, and evil curiosity.
The hate you felt for me and the ways in which you showed it was completely immoral. Babies and children do understand when things are not right. Your sexual torture left me with the most crippling feelings of being held prisoner -- being dirty, not understanding what was happening to my body, not understanding what was happening to you, and not wanting to be there at all. I know that you think all the evils you perpetrated on my body and psyche had no effect, that I would not even remember. But you were wrong as you were wrong about a lot of things in your life. Not only did they effect me they will effect me for the rest of my life.

As Diane talked she did not realize that behind her on a screen that her mother could see was a film playing the events being described. This film showed the details that Diane could not remember in each incident. Margaret was feeling the emotions she felt at the time and also was feeling the emotions Diane felt while the abuse was going on. .Margaret was reliving the abuse she had inflicted on her daughter.

All I wanted from you was love, hugs, and to sit quietly in your arms and just enjoy our closeness.
Instead I learned to fear your presence. I learned to fear being alone with you. For you see sexual abuse was not the only terror you inflicted on me. You were an expert in the department of emotional and physical abuse.
You made me crawl inside myself and turn into a tough independent person who could not feel anything. I learned early it was ridiculous to cry, and reaching out to you was tantamount to putting my hand on the hot element on the stove. Which you remember I did one day as you were yelling at me. Even before I started to remember the abuse, I had such a feeling of dark insidious cruelty and nastiness when I thought about you. You see Margaret I did remember what you did and now I am ready to face the past, deal with the enormous pain, make friends with my anger, cry for the loss of my childhood and move forward in my life leaving you and your hate behind.

By the time Diane had finished her mother was looking very weary and upset, she was in tears, and yet she could not move. The truth had held her prisoner. Diane now looked at her father who was standing there looking very white and shaken.

David - Your depravity was almost worse than Margaret's. You see I loved you with all my heart. It was a love given so freely and eagerly. She had me so scared and terrorized that I ran to you to make all the pain go away. You were my safe haven. You were my Daddy. You had big hands that held mine. You made me feel so safe in a terrifying world. I loved you so much that in order to survive the rape of my body I created a wonderful Daddy who would not do anything but love me and in another part of my mind I put the memories of the evil bastard who raped me. Stuck his penis in various parts of my body and held me prisoner over and over again to fulfill his sick, disgusting sexual needs. Can you imagine the feelings of betrayal, of abandonment? Can you imagine what it must have felt like to see my whole world crumble from under my feet the first time you betrayed me?

I had no one to go to but you. I was a baby. You destroyed every bit of trust.

I was so lonely, and every time you both satisfied your sexual needs on me you sent me further and further away.. You took away my spontaneity, my creativity.You took away my childhood.

For seven nights Diane stood on the stage and told her story. For seven nights her parents where held prisoner by the truth. On the seventh night as Diane finished, her parents realized they could move, they walked towards Diane and she said. " I want to thank all of you for coming and listening me. I don't have to tell you it is the truth for you have all felt the truth in what I have said. I could not tell anyone when the abuse was going on, but I have now told everyone. Thank You my Angel friends and thank you everyone. Margaret and Dave could not figure out who she was talking to. They turned around to look into the empty hall and there sat every person the two of them knew - relatives, friends, and co-workers.
The shock and horror of the dream woke them up again. They looked at each other and David said " Oh God, I am so glad that was just a dream". He laid back down exhausted. Margaret got out of bed to sit at the kitchen table and had a cigarette. She could not say anything, and was reluctant to go back to sleep.
The next day she went out shopping with her sister, as they were having lunch Olive said " I need to talk to you. I have been having the most disturbing and vivid dreams the past week, and that's not all , Bunny came up to me the other day telling me about the dreams she has been having. They are exactly the same dreams I've had!"

Diane...