My panic disorder episodes happened in situations where I was put under a lot of stress. In grade school, I was a very timid and shy child and the other children would tease me or push me around. This would cause me to get sick and the school nurse would have to call my mother about once a week to pick me up. At the time, my mother did not realize that I was having panic attacks, but now she realizes that was what was happening to me.

As I grew older, some of my shyness disappeared but I still was rather timid. I always loved to dance, I even enrolled in a few dance classes, and I wanted to be on the drill team in high school and go to school dances, but the panic disorders kept me from doing those things. But, the worst experience for me in school was my graduation. I was looking forward to walking down the aisle and receiving my diploma. But that did not happen. While my classmates and I were walking to our chairs, I had a panic attack and passed out. Needless to say, I did not receive my diploma like the rest of my classmates. I received it after graduation was over.

Certain personality traits can inflame or aggravate certain fears. People with anxiety-related problems share many of the same psychological traits. A person who has panic disorders has a "High Anxiety Personality". The traits listed below are what create the high anxiety personality:

1. High Level of Creativity/Imagination-They tend to be very creative with the ability to imagine things vividly. A person with severe anxiety has the tendency to think of many frightening things that could occur in a given situation. Therefore, they have the tendency to imagine vividly these frightening possibilities.

2. Rigid Thinking-The tendency to perceive life as a series of either/or alternatives. Events are either right or wrong, fair or unfair.

3. Excessive need for Approval-This is often referred to as low self-esteem or low self-acceptance. A person depends on others for a sense of self-worth. This creates a fear of rejection that results in a heightened sensitivity to criticism and difficulty in saying "no" to the demands of others.

4. Extremely High Expectations of Self-There is often the expectation from oneself of a much higher level of performance and accomplishment than would ever be expected from others.

5. Perfectionism-The tendency to use all-or-nothing thinking when evaluating one's actions; and a tendency to focus on small flaws and errors rather than on progress or overall achievement. Any less-than-perfect achievement is a failure that is personalized so that both the task and the person become failures.

6. Competent, Dependable "Doer"-All of the above traits often create a person who is not only competent, capable, and dependable, but one who is a real "doer" and is skilled at getting jobs done and done well.

7. Excessive Need to be in Control-The person places a high value on being calm and in control. Unexpected changes in a predetermined schedule cause distress because it is harder to be in control when one is not sure what will happen.

A person with the need to be in control can experience fairly intense anxiety symptoms but appear normal to the casual observer. Since a person like this usually presents a "proper" image to the world even when there is tremendous self-doubt and turmoil inside, he/she may be considered to be very strong by friends and relatives.

8. Suppression of Some or All Negative Feelings-The person often suppresses feelings that "should not" be felt because he/she might cause loss of control or disapproval from others.

9. Tendency to Ignore the Body's Physical Needs-This trait is commonly reflected in the attitude that the body is unimportant. Signs from the body indicating it is tired or hurting and needs rest or care are ignored or given low priority.