Bill and Jackie's 4th and 5th Jamaica Trip

And now for something completely different

I'd heard of the Hedonism resorts for years, but wasn't entirely sure exactly what was true about them. When Jackie and I stayed at the Point Village resort (My trip report) back in 2004, we could see some of the wild things going on next door at the Hedonism resort. You couldn't go for a walk from Point Village down the beach in Negril without walking right through the nude area of Hedonism II. We saw some obvious sexual activity there a few times, and heard more stories about what it might be like. Needless to say, we were intrigued. So in August, 2007, we decided to spend a week there. We weren't sure whether we would really enjoy it or think it was too much over the top.

We went back to Hedonism II in February, 2008 and updated comments from that visit are incorporated inside these blue boxes.

One of the first things you'll notice is that there are no photos that accompany this trip report. We took the camera, but we never used it. Hedonism II is very strict about what, or who, can be photographed. I suspect some bad history plays into this. You have to sign an affidavit when you check in that you won't take photographs in restricted areas and if you violate this policy, you could face expulsion or criminal charges. Since we spent most of our time in the nude area of the resort, where photography is forbidden, we just never took the camera out.

Hedonism II had a nude side and a prude side. The assumption is that if you want to stay on the prude side, you won't see any naked people. I'm not sure that's a valid assumption. The restaurant, main pool, waterslide, dock, and watersports area are common to both and you could encounter nude people at any of those places.

The resort

We had a mostly uneventful trip down to Jamaica, again. We've been lucky for a while avoiding any real hassles getting to Jamaica. We went to the Superclubs lounge in the airport, got a drink, filled out some paperwork, and were soon on the shuttle on our way to Negril.

The beginning of our stay didn't go well. We arrived at the Hedonism II (see TripAdvisor page for Hedonism II) with another couple and two single guys traveling together. We handed the woman at the front desk our paperwork and she gave us the photography affidavits to sign. Then she disappeared for at least 20 minutes. It was the longest check-in process I've ever had and it was strange that there was no communication between the front desk and the arriving guests. Eventually we were given our room keys and a bellhop showed us the way to our room.

In our second visit, checking in was a snap and it was only a few minutes before we were led to our room on the nude side of the resort.

Hedonism II is an older resort and the rooms reflected that. The room was basic - king-sized bed (two twin mattresses pushed together), dresser, night stands, and a television set hanging from the ceiling. There were a few problems. The air conditioner made loud rumbling sounds like the compressor was going to die. That had its advantages, though, of blocking outside noise. There was a radio alarm clock making a strange sound like the alarm was half-going off. The alarm on/off switch was missing, so we just unplugged it. The room was clean and the shower worked well. It turns out the remote control for the television didn't work. Instead, I reached up and turned it on manually while we unpacked. I was immediately surprised by the television showing porn from the Playboy Channel. Then it was funny, sort of an informal introduction to Hedonism II.

The only problem with the room on our second visit was that the shower leaked. So we used extra bath towels and beach towels to soak up the water on the bathroom floor when we were done showering.

One item given out at larger resorts, typically when you check in or else it's waiting in your room, is a map of the resort. The only thing we got with our room keys was a list of activities for each day of the week. No map was found anywhere in our room. In fact, there was nothing in our room that indicated anything at all about any of the services or amenities. Not only did we have no idea where anything was on the resort, or what might be found, but there was no mention of how to get a massage or what it might cost, nothing about internet facilities, nothing about how to use the phone or retrieve messages, etc. There was also nothing about rules. Could you be naked anywhere on the resort or just in the nude section? We've seen resorts that had rules about fraternizing with the staff, but we found no rules. Are there set hours for the pools and jacuzzis? No idea. By the time we left a week later, we'd come to the conclusion there were no rules. And we didn't mind.

We wandered around the resort, finally finding a billboard with a map of the resort near the restaurant. The lobby/restaurants are at the top center of the resort. Just outside the main restaurant is a pool with a small jacuzzi to the side and another one up a set of stairs. This second jacuzzi had a glass bottom and it turns out it's right above the disco. It wasn't working the whole time we were there. There's also a water slide which wends its way down to a smaller pool down by the disco. If you don't want to take the water slide down the hill, there's a set of stairs or a curving path past the gym.

At the bottom of the stairs is the disco and heading out to the beach from there is another pool, bar, and grill. These weren't too busy. To the left from there is the prude side which looks like a spacious beach, but we never went there. If you go to the right, you pass the watersports shed and the dock and eventually make your way to the nude side of the resort. Guests whose rooms are on the nude side walk around nude. Since our room was near the restaurants on the prude side, we got dressed each time we traversed to and from our room.

The nude beach

We made our way to the nude beach and looked around. The beach on the nude side is a little cramped with beach lounges packed tightly together. Since this was August, low season, we never had a problem finding lounges or spreading them out so we could move around them. There is a grill there, a bar where you can walk up to on three sides and swim up to on the other. There's a pool behind that bar with tables scattered throughout it. Nobody swims in the pool. People stand around the tables in the water with their drinks and smokes. Occasionally someone would be floating in the pool on a lounge cushion. There was cold water jacuzzi that fed into the pool, a small circular pool behind that with a waterfall covering an inset area behind it. Then there was the nude jacuzzi. I'd heard references to the Hedonism II nude jacuzzi before, in a "wink wink nudge nudge" kind of way. Here it was, a nice big jacuzzi full of naked people.

When we returned in February, the resort was packed. For part of our stay, the Fluffernutters were there as a group, and they were a lot of fun. We usually don't wander down to the beach until late morning and getting two beach chairs then could be a bit of a challenge, but we were always able to find two, usually in different places, so it was never a huge problem. With the resort full, there were some differences than when we visited in August. Finding a dinner table, getting drinks, and finding beach towels was a bit more of a challenge. Late in the afternoon, the nude jacuzzi was full. I counted over 50 people in there one afternoon. It was the place to be at that time of the day. We went for a walk down the beach one afternoon and as we walked through the prude side of Hedonism II, there was nobody there and most of the empty beach chairs had been pulled over to the nude side.

We figured out where they kept the beach towels in a large cabinet by the jacuzzi, but it only held dirty towels. We made our way back to the beach and pulled up a couple lounges. One of the first things we saw was a couple having sex on a floating platform in the swimming area in front of the beach. They were being a little furtive about it, but it was obvious what they were doing. We checked out the swimming area and it had a lot of seaweed on the bottom in places. It didn't make for comfortable walking. Most people, though, were floating on lounge cushions or reclining on the floating platform. Moving about on the floating cushions seems to be the main form of transportation across the swimming area. It turned out to be a comfortable pastime. Grab a cushion, float out by yourself, or with your partner or join a bunch of people already floating together and chatting. There were also some two-person inflatable devices that couples would use.

Beach towels were an interesting phenomenon. Many resorts let you have two towels a day. When they're dirty or you're done with them at the end of the day, you turn them back in. If you check out without a record of turning in all your towels, you're charged for them at checkout. Hedonism II lets you have unlimited use of beach towels without any cards or sign-out sheets. There's a cabinet for them by the main pool near the restaurant, and another cabinet by the nude jacuzzi. I believe the water sports shed has some while they're open. I don't know if there's more on the prude side. The problem is that there are rarely any clean towels. We determined that they restocked the clean towels at night. Before we'd go back to our room for the last time on any day, we'd check the cabinets and usually found clean towels. People who are early risers found clean towels too. By some point in the morning, the clean ones would be all gone. If they were ever restocked during the day, they certainly didn't last long.

The entertainment staff comes down to the nude beach to organize activities. There's naked ring toss (you throw the rings at rocks or bottles of rum - what did you think they'd toss them around?), naked bocce, naked twister (with way too many people playing - being a spectator is a better option), naked volleyball (although they had trouble getting many people interested in that), and rock painting (people personalize rocks and they're left as part of the decorative grounds keeping). Late one morning I saw a woman staff member trying to convince people in the nude pool to do water aerobics. She stood outside the pool doing the moves to the music and only got a couple women half-heartedly trying to accompany her. Someone suggested she just get naked and jump in the pool with them, so she did.

Eating and drinking

There are three restaurants at Hedonism II: the main buffet restaurant, the Pastafari restaurant next to it that served a combination of Italian and Jamaican good, and a Teppanyaki style restaurant in the rear of the buffet restaurant. There was nothing special about the food, we've definitely had better food at other resorts, but there were plenty of choices and it was adequate. The main restaurant also held the dance floor and performing stage where the house band and entertainment staff performed every night.

One oddity of eating in the restaurant was the service. Sometimes we'd sit down at a table and a waitress would come by and get our drink order, and then return and get new drinks as they were emptied. Other times, they'd actively ignore you. I couldn't figure out the rhyme or reason for the different treatment. The other strange item was cloth napkins. Some tables had them, so tables didn't. Not that there appeared to be paper napkins anywhere that you might use instead. If we sat down at a table that didn't have cloth napkins, we'd steal a couple from an unused table.

The grills served their typical fare. The jerk chicken is really popular and often sells out by late in the afternoon. People would find out they had more jerk chicken and would make a rush to get some before it disappeared again. The bars were OK, but the bar on the nude beach was the best. They were friendly, fun, and good, strong drinks. For the life of me, I can't remember the name of the bar. The few times the skies opened and poured rain for short periods of time made for a crush of nude people crammed around the bar trying to stay dry under it's short overhanging roof. It's a great way to meet new people.

The bar on the nude beach is Delroy's and you should definitely meet him. Apologies to Delroy for forgetting his name.

The fun and games

You might think that with the so-so service, the room with non-functioning equipment, the pedestrian food, and the weird situation with towels, that we might not have had a good time. It turns out that we had a blast! What Hedonism II has going for it that makes it different from most anywhere else is its guests. Many of the other guests we met were people who come back constantly to Hedonism II. They are there for the wild times, the party atmosphere, and the fun people who can be found there. They do have a good time.

I mentioned the couple having sex on the floating platform earlier. That was just the first public sex we saw on the nude side. We saw many instances of sexual behavior, although most of it was furtive. You'd see a couple clenched and bobbing together in the water, or see a couple going at it in the jacuzzi with the water obscuring any details. Every once in a while you'd see some sexual act right out in the open, on the beach or the side of the jacuzzi. The first time I saw something like this, my reaction was "So that's what it looks like in person." After that, it didn't seem terribly out of the ordinary.

The public sex isn't so much about being exhibitionist, or even the voyeuristic attraction for those who see it, but more as a result of the sexual atmosphere that exists. Since public sex is accepted there, it's definitely the place to act out that fantasy if you were ever so inclined, even if it's late at night and nobody else is in the jacuzzi. If the mood struck any couple, here was a place they could act on it. If you're put off by public displays of affection, then don't wander down to the nude side of Hedonism II. Most of the time, though, you'll just find a whole bunch of naked people hanging out with each other doing what people normally do on vacation: sit on the beach, float in the water, have a drink in or by the pool, or soak in the jacuzzi.

Many of the people on the nude side of Hedonism II are swingers, or lifestylers (I think that's their new name). You overhear conversations about their past visits and web sites and message boards where they've agreed to meet up at Hedonism II. The ones we met were a lot of fun. Don't worry about not being a swinger and going there. We're not and we were only propositioned once on our last night about if we were interested in something along those lines. I also don't want to leave the impression that it was a non-stop orgy on the nude side. It wasn't as if you'd see public sex on a constant basis. You could, though, look up from your book or wander to the restroom or over to the bar and see something going on, sometimes cloaked, sometimes open for all to see. It just contributes to that wild atmosphere of fun and games.

The party goes on non-stop. As far as I can tell, the only times the pools and jacuzzis are closed is when they're being cleaned. Wander over to the nude pool or jacuzzi late at night it's likely to be an active place. I have no idea how late the disco runs, but it was always open no matter how late we passed it. We found the disco way too loud and the music was basically an 80s mix. There was a pajama party there one night where you could only get in if you wore your night clothes. Those who sleep naked were encouraged to come that way.

The entertainment staff and the resort also worked hard to keep up the eroticism of the sexual atmosphere. Why do you think they organize naked twister? Many of the guest-participation games in the main restaurant are along these lines. There are games like the honeymoon show where the men and women are asked sexual questions about their partners (and the answers were hilarious!), games where the best simulated sex would win a prize, a battle between the sexes where the women in the audience started undressing to help the woman contestant win, a toga night where you're encouraged not to wear anything underneath your toga. Many women come to dinner in their sheerest lingerie. There are clothing-optional boat tours. The activities sheet even listed a naked midnight pool party, although that and a lot of the other activities don't happen in the summer since they don't have enough guests. These activities are a bit embarrassing to participate in, but they're wildly entertaining and stomp-your-feet funny at times. That's the atmosphere that permeates Hedonism II. If you think you'll stay on the prude side and never encounter this atmosphere, you'll need to spend a lot of time in your room. You might encounter someone scantily dressed in the buffet line, someone removing clothing during an entertainment show, someone naked in the pool or jacuzzi outside the main restaurant or in the disco late at night. The resort is counting on the sexual undercurrent that runs through every day and it's easy, and fun, to go along for that ride and enjoy it.

It was a vacation unlike any other we'd taken and it was a lot of fun. There were times when it was like our regular beach vacations, Jackie and I soaking up the sun, enjoying time with each other, and reading our books, and then something would happen that we'd never seen or experienced before. It was like a peek into another world and the people we met and saw were just there to have a wild time and didn't mind if others watched them enjoying themselves. Obviously, it's not meant for everybody and it definitely requires a stable and trusting relationship with your partner before finding yourself in that type of atmosphere.

One other note, most of the people there were couples, and most of them past thirty if not passing middle-aged. I don't know if this is different during the high season during the winter, but at least while we there in August, there weren't a lot of single people. Perhaps the most pathetic sight was the single guys thinking there'd be a lot of single women interested in hooking up, and finding out that there were very few single women. Some of the single guys fit in well with the people there, others could be seen wandering around aimlessly trying to get some woman to notice them and take an interest in them.

We had a great time and would definitely go back. Obviously, though, anyone considering a trip to Hedonism II should be aware what they're getting into.

Not only did we go back, but we'd go back again. We had a great time. Woo hoo! What a blast.

Hurricane Dean and going home

The week we spent on the island was just before the arrival of Hurricane Dean. Every time we went back to the room we'd turn on the Weather Channel and catch the latest on the approaching storm. They kept predicting its arrival for the Sunday evening and our flights were set for Saturday afternoon. Other guests at the resort, though, were scrambling to find flights off the island before the hurricane arrived, and some weren't able to. When we arrived at the airport, about 2.5 hours before our flight, it was packed with wall-to-wall people. To the credit of the airport personnel and the security and customs people, they kept everything moving. I can't think of any American airport that would have handled it as well. We even had time to grab a bite before our plane boarded. Ours was one of the last flights off the island. They closed the airport that evening.

We made it home without a problem, although our luggage needed another day. It had nothing to do with the storm in the Caribbean, but the incompetence of the airport personnel in Detroit in checking our bags onto our connecting flight after we cleared customs.