BITTERSWEET TIMESIn August of 1994, my two sons, my mom and I made our traditional road trip to
California to visit my Grandmother. Grandma lived in a nursing home because she had
broken her hip and couldn't be alone. Grandma still had her wits about her, even at the
age of 95 and was as spry as ever. My mom had always been the first to jump in the car
when she knew we were heading for California. We always drove straight through,
sleeping in car the along side of the road for a few hours, then loading up on coffee.
Mom loved it. This trip was different. Although it started out the same as always, it
would change our lives forever.The drive down was pretty much normal. Mom
asking where we were now and how much longer until we got to Grandma's? When we
finally arrived in Anaheim, were the nursing home was we got a motel room and mom
couldn't understand why. She began to get confused and agitated. I thought that a good
nap would help her and then we would go see Grandma. When mom woke up she was
really confused and wanted to get back on the road, she stayed like this until she saw
Grandma, her mother. We stayed in Anaheim for three days, the last time we saw
Grandma mom gave her big hugs and kisses, took pictures and helped Grandma back to
her room, all the while mom was continuing to be confused about things. The drive
became unbearable. Mom began talking to people in the back seat that weren't there,
seeing things, not recognizing familiar sights. She even thought that we had kidnapped
her from her apartment and tied her up (it was the seat belt). I just attributed her behavior
to lack of sleep and her age. After all, she hadn't slept much and at 79 that can do a lot to
you. A few days after we got home I took her to the doctor for a check up. Everything
was fine, no problems noted according to the doctor. So, everything remained the same,
mom in her apartment and I in my house, visiting and talking in the phone as we always
had. As time went on, little things kept happening. She would forget what time it was,
thinking that day was night, night was day, forgetting to eat, not remembering if she had
taken her medication, over-medicating as a result. Little things like that. So, after getting
nowhere with her doctor, no answers, I decided that it was time for mom to move in with
me, this was February 1995. We moved mom out of her apartment on May 1st, 1995.
We were looking forward to her 80th birthday, which was on the 17th. We were going to
have a big party for her, however on the 11th she feel and broke her pelvis and right
wrist. This was when our lives changed forever. The shock of falling and getting things
broken, combined with lots of medication for the pain, for depression (PROZAC), for
sleepless nights, for water retention, for dizziness, etc.and having her mother, my
Grandma die on the 18th, just three hours after she last talked with her, threw
my mother into a full blown case of Alzheimer's. (We later found out that she also had
chemical toxicity from all the medication) As a result of this information I got mom a
new doctor who has been wonderful. Mom was no longer able to get out of bed, she
became totally non-ambulatory, incontinent of bowel and bladder, unable to feed herself,
dress herself, everything was gone all at once. Most of the time she didn't know me, she
thought I was her mom, she didn't know where she was or who was around her. I took
care of her in this condition until I physically couldn't any longer. I had just had two
surgeries on my left shoulder and one on my right elbow and I didn't feel confident lifting
her alone anymore so, on July 7th I placed her in a rehabilitation center. Once there her
new doctor was able to monitor her medications and reduced them to almost nothing.
After just one month she was released to come home again using a WALKER instead of
the wheel chair. All of the guilt that I felt for putting her in 'one of those places' was
worth it. They taught her how to walk again. I didn't realize that she had just forgotten
how. Now, with the new medication she wasn't as slow and dazed as she had been. Most
of her memory of family members was back, after just two months of being home she
was off the walker and going it by herself. Most of the time she even knows where she is.
She doesn't remember anything about the months that her mind was completely gone but,
she does know that she has Alzheimers and what it is. I found that knowing is important
because it gives her a "cause' or reason why things are happening that she doesn't
understand, then she pushes herself to do more for herself. I have told her that keeping
her mind active helps so, she reads the paper every night. She doesn't always remember
what she read but, that is O.K. The past year has been pretty good, mentally, for mom.
She did fall again, on August 16th, 1996, this time she broke her hip. She had surgery and
got a plate and three pins but, she was only in the hospital for five days and was able to
come home to recover. Now, just two and a half months later she is getting around really
good with the use of a walker (her security blanket). The daily stuff that mom still does,
like asking the same question a hundred times in five minutes, repeating herself all the
time and feeding the dogs most of her food when she thinks I'm not looking, still drives
me nuts. Most of the time I can handle it but, sometimes it really gets on my nerves so I
go outside and look around the garden or whatever and I don't feel guilty anymore.
Cooper Page Design © 1996DO
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