A Story About Four People, Two I Know, Two I Don't.
The First Person
...is my Dad. Shortly after Thanksgiving of '95, we started the evaluation process to determine if he was a candidate for a liver transplant. For unknown reasons his liver function had been failing for several years and the rate of deterioration was accelerating. After over two months of testing and endless 70 mile round trips to the hospital, Dad was placed on the waiting list. While we waited his health started to slide. He was in and out of the hospital several times until the decision was made by the doctors to keep him until an organ was found. At this point we knew he would either come home with a new liver or not at all. He only had a few weeks to live, then only days. We were down to hours when he recieved the transplant.
On April 10, 1996 they found an organ and took Dad into surgery at 11:30am. At 8:30pm, the surgeons met us and told us that it was a textbook case and all was well. When I asked how much longer he would have lived, I was told his liver "was a ticking time bomb." Several weeks later Dad came home. By summer he was getting out and around by himself again. Since leaving the hospital, he's had no complications and no signs of rejection.
The Second Person
...is someone we met while Dad was in the hospital recuperating from surgery. "Laura"(not her real name) was a tiny little woman a few years older than me (I'm 34) who had been waiting for over a year for a liver. Because she was so slight, the experts agreed she would most likely end up with a transplant from a child. Most of her wait had been in the hospital about 40 miles from where she lived with her husband and 8 year old daughter. Laura saw many patients receive livers and would visit with all and the families.
Laura's sense of humor was amazing. She flabbergasted the surgeon by asking during rounds if he would do a "boob job" while she was on the table. But Laura was also practical. She saw what the families went through during this time. Concerned about her daughter, she had her brought to the hospital on a regular basis to see the traumatic effects the surgery had on the post operative patent. With Frank's (another transplant patient) permission, she took her daughter through the whole recuperation process Frank went through, explaining all the while that this would happen to her also.
At this point let me tell you what goes on in your mind while your waiting. Liver disfunction causes the body's chemistry to fall out of whack. Aside from the physical side effects, patients experience confusion, memory loss, delusions, and hallucinations. By comparison, a heart is a simple pump; a kidney, a filter, etc. There are no medicines or treatments to control liver failure. Some medicines can treat some symptoms, but take it from me, they don't work well. My father went from a highly intelligent, dignified, and just man to someone we didn't know. I can best describe him at the end as an angry drunk crossed with a small spoiled child with a dash of Ahlzhiemer's. Thankfully he returned to normal after his transplant.
I found myself on an emotional rollercoaster. Hope and faith are all you have to overcome the endless feelings of helplessness while you wait, and wait, and wait. The blood drives organized by Dad's church and DeVry (where I go to school), the friends who helped, the medical people who were endlessly patient, everyone showed their concern. But, you still don't know where to turn, because there is no place to turn, just wait. I found myself on the daily drive to the hospital simply praying to God "please" over and over and not being able to ask for what was needed. Only one person, my friend Nancy understood what I was going through, "how can you ask God for someone to die." You can't, but you know someone has to.
The Third Person
...is the donor who gave Dad a new liver. He died around midnight April 9th, 1996. Other organs went to other recipients. We don't know his name, his family, or much at all about him. What few details we do know I will not put here out of respect to the family. What I do know is that at a time of great personal loss and tragedy, his family made the choice to give my father (and others) the gift of life. Their decision spared me from going through what they were experiencing. Our gratitude can never be properly expressed. How do you thank someone for life? This web page's purpose is to try.
The Forth Person
...is Laura's donor. That person never existed. Laura died in the summer of '96 after waiting for almost a year and a half.
I am at that 'stage of life' where losing a parent is something to be expected. Laura's daughter is not.
I had the benefit of Dad while growing up and as an adult. Laura's daughter will not.
I knew before Laura gave birth to her daughter that I might lose Dad at this time. I have had plenty of time to prepare for this. Laura's daughter has not.
I am lucky, I still have my father. But somewhere out there is a little girl without her mother.
If there is anything good to come out of her death, maybe this will convince you of the need for organs.
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