Chapter Three
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", pp.32-33, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our
drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the
difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there
is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed
definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period
because of an overpowering desire to do so. Here is one.
A man of thirty was doing a great deal of spree drinking. He was very
nervous in the morning after these bouts and quieted himself with more
liquor. He was ambitious to succeed in business, but saw that he would
get nowhere if he drank at all. Once he started, he had no control
whatever. He made up his mind that until he had been successful in
business and had retired, he would not touch another drop. An
exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired
at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career.
Then he fell victim to a belief which practically every alcoholic has
that his long period of sobriety and self-discipline had qualified him
to drink as other men. Out came his carpet slippers and a bottle. In two
months he was in a hospital, puzzled and humiliated. He tried to
regulate his drinking for a little while, making several trips to the
hospital meantime. Then, gathering all his forces, he attempted to stop
altogether and found he could not. Every means of solving his problem
which money could buy was at his disposal. Every attempt failed. Though
a robust man at retirement, he went to pieces quickly and was dead
within four years.
This case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us have believed that if
we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter drink
normally. But here is a man who at fifty-five years found he was just
where he had left off at thirty. We have seen the truth demonstrated
again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to
drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.
If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of
any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to
alcohol."
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Hi. I'm Rose, COE and thrilled to lead on Ch. 3 for the month of April. In
the past couple of months, we've discussed the particulars of how, why and in
what ways we have come to believe that we have a disease, and its
devastating effects pre-recovery. In this chapter, step 1 is introduced, and
the power of powerlessness. I was one of those people in OA who, after
maintaining an 85# weight loss for almost 9 years, started to feel like I
could relax and be a "normal" person again. Everything was so different in my
life, thanks to the program and HP, and I thought maybe I was different too.
This way of thinking led in time to a relapse, just as it did W., the man in
the story, although unlike him, I had the program to support me through that
difficult time. I struggled for a couple of years, but I was eventually able
to get my abstinence back. The experience taught me that I really am a COE,
through good times and bad, no matter what else is happening. That's a
constant I can rely on. That realization gave me a deeper understanding of
the powerlessness I have over my eating disorder than I'd ever had before,
and it's helped me keep my abstinence for the past 14 months.
THE QUESTIONS
1. Do you think there was a point at which you could have changed your eating behavior
without the help of HP and OA, as is suggested at the beginning of this passage? Why or why not?
2. Have you ever had the feeling that you were "cured" and could resume eating
as a normal person would? If so, how did you respond to this feeling?
3. Have you had a life and attitude changing experience with powerlessness, in or outside of the program? If so, describe.
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", pp.35-37, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop
altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop.
Whether such a person can quit upon a non-spiritual basis depends upon
the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he
will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character.
There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it
impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it-
this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the
necessity or the wish.
How then shall we help our readers determine, to their own satisfaction,
whether they are one of us? The experiment of quitting for a period of
time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service
to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity. So we
shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into
drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem.
What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time
the desperate experiment of the first drink? Friends who have reasoned
with him after a spree which has brought him to the point of divorce or
bankruptcy are mystified when he walks directly into a saloon. Why does
he? Of what is he thinking?
Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This man has a charming
wife and family. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency. He had a
commendable World War record. He is a good salesman. Everybody likes
him. He is an intelligent man, normal so far as we can see, except for a
nervous disposition. He did no drinking until he was thirty-five. In a
few years he became so violent when intoxicated that he had to be
committed. On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us.
We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He
made a beginning. His family was reassembled, and he began to work as
a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking. All went well
for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his
consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid
succession. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing
carefully what had happened. He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a
serious condition. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he
kept on. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep
affection. Yet he got drunk again. We asked him to tell us exactly how
it happened. This is his story: "I came to work on Tuesday morning. I
remember I felt irritated that I had to be a salesman for a concern I
once owned. I had a few words with the brass, but nothing serious. Then
I decided to drive to the country and see one of my prospects for a car.
On the way I felt hungry so I stopped at a roadside place where they
have a bar. I had no intention of drinking. I just thought I would get a
sandwich. I also had the notion that I might find a customer for a car
at this place, which was familiar for I had been going to it for years.
I had eaten there many times during the months I was sober. I sat down
at a table and ordered a sandwich and a glass of milk. Still no thought
of drinking. I ordered another sandwich and decided to have another
glass of milk.
"Suddenly the thought crossed my mind that if I were to put an ounce of
whiskey in my milk it couldn't hurt me on a full stomach. I ordered a
whiskey and poured it into the milk. I vaguely sensed I was not being any
too smart, but felt reassured as I was taking the whiskey on a full
stomach. The experiment went so well that I ordered another whiskey and
poured it into more milk. That didn't seem to bother me so I tried
another."
Thus started one more journey to the asylum for Jim. Here was the threat
of commitment, the loss of family and position, to say nothing of that
intense mental and physical suffering which drinking always caused him.
He had much knowledge about himself as an alcoholic. Yet all reasons for
not drinking were easily pushed aside in favor of the foolish idea that
he could take whiskey if only he mixed it with milk!
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain
insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think
straight, be called anything else?
You may think this an extreme case. To us it is not far-fetched, for
this kind of thinking has been characteristic of every single one of us.
We have sometimes reflected more than Jim did upon the consequences. But
there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our
sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for
taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check.
The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all
earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened."
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Hi I'm Rose, COE, leading on Ch. 3 this month. One of the things I really like about this chapter are the great stories. The story about Jim is, to me, a case study of the thought process of a person about to take the first bite/drink/hit whatever. The bottom line in substance abuse of all kinds seems to be this inability to stop once that insane thought of " I can have just one" is entertained seriously enough. In the first paragraph, the writers talk about how quitting a substance on a non-spiritual basis is dependent on the compulsive person's ability to use free will; for most true substance abusers that I've met, no amount of good character or upbringing or religious conviction is of much help at all in stopping the machine once the switch is flicked. Not until the admission of powerless is made, and the subsequent understanding that a higher form of help is needed can anything really change for most of us addicts, or not for any length of time, as is made plain in Jim's story.
THE QUESTIONS
1. Under what circumstances, if any, do you find yourself more likely
to entertain food/eating thoughts? Describe your experiences.
2. When that insane thinking strikes, how do you respond? If you haven't had those kinds
of thoughts for a while, explain why you think this is.
3. Was there an event or special time in your life when you realized that you needed a spiritual
solution to your eating problem?
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", page 42, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"Two of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous came to see me. They
grinned, which I didn't like so much, and then asked me if I thought
myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time. I had to concede
both propositions. They piled on me heaps of evidence to the effect that
an alcoholic mentality, such as I had exhibited in Washington, was a
hopeless condition. They cited cases out of their own experience by the
dozen. This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I
could do the job myself.
"Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a
hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a
nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to
swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty
drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out
of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go
through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic
condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be."
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Hi everybody, I'm Rose, coe and leader for April. This is a really great story, and one I've found very instructive over the years. Very often, for a person who's addictive, there doesn't need to be a reason to use-just no reason *not* to is enough to get things started. What Fred found out is that even with a working intellectual understanding of alcoholism, without a working spiritual understanding of how his disease could catch him off guard, he was just as susceptible to using as he was when he was a plain ol' ignorant drunk. We have to find a spiritual solution, or we fail.
THE QUESTIONS
1. What "lifelong conceptions" did you have to "throw out the window" when you
realized you needed to solve your eating disorder problem with a spiritual solution?
2. Was this a difficult transition for you, or did you have no problem abandoning yourself to the care of HP?
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", pp. 42-43, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems. I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before. My old manner of life was by no means a bad one, but I would not exchange its best moments for the worst I have now. I would not go back to it even if I could."
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Hi all, I'm Rose, COE and leading on Ch. 3 this month. I can't tell you how many times, in reflecting on my life since I've been in OA, that I've thought this same thing that Fred says here. Even in the throes of relapse, my life was so much better than it had been before OA because I was at least wanting and trying, albeit lamely, to apply spiritual principals that I learned from the steps and OA to my problems in life. And they always work! To the degree that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to recover, I receive tenfold in recovery and hope. It's really quite amazing. Even when all I could do was admit to myself, "I know this isn't what I need to eat right now", I could at least go to a meeting or call someone and say that out loud. And that was/is the scaffold for the recovery to come. The realization that there is a spiritual solution for every problem was so stunning to me, and has changed the way I think and feel about life completely.
THE QUESTIONS
1. Describe how spiritual principals learned in OA have changed the way you live and think about your problems in life.
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", page 43, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution."
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Hi I'm Rose, COE leading on ch. 3, More About Alcoholism. When I read this paragraph this morning, I remembered something my mother said to me shortly after I got into recovery. She is in AA, and at the time had been trying to 12-step me into alanon and aca without much luck-I went to those meetings, but nothing seemed to be changing for me, and my health was getting worse and worse. When I told her about OA, I guess she could hear the hope and relief in my voice and said to me, "Oh, I am so relieved-I was getting so afraid that you would be gone from us before you were 30". At age 24, I was practically a shut-in, I was so chronically ill with eating disorder-related health problems. As I stopped eating foods that made me ill, and became a little more teachable, my life slowly but surely got better. When I discovered OA, I was also almost immediately able to get help from those other programs. When I was using, I could not hear that the only real solution to our problem was a spiritual one-it was sort of like when drunk alcoholics turn up at AA meetings-they know they need something that the sober people have but they can't quite tell what it is.
THE QUESTIONS
1. Have people in your life given up on you as a hopeless case in the past or even now?
2. Have you had the experience of feeling like a drunk alcoholic at an AA meeting in OA, or elsewhere?
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", page 43, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power."
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Hi everybody, Rose here, COE. I've been so grateful this month for the
opportunity to really reflect on this chapter. It's helped me quite a bit, as
I get used to my new food plan, to think and write about the insanity of the
disease, and how tricky it can be. This is the last paragraph in Ch, 3, so on
Saturday, my last posting for the month will be from somewhere else in this
chapter.
I can think of many many times when I inexplicably found myself eating, or
wanting desperately to eat. In every case, if I was able to stand back and
ask for help from HP, the obsession would be removed, usually instantly.
There have been a few times when even that little spark of willingness was
not there, and then I had to suffer the consequences. I've learned that it's
vital to my recovery to keep that little spark alive. Long before I even
think about taking the first bite, if I'm not in conscious contact or at
least using a few tools on a daily basis, it's almost impossible to resist
the compulsion, as the doctor in this chapter notes about alcoholics.
THE QUESTIONS
1. What do you do on a daily basis to keep your willingness to recover and abstain alive?
2. Can you describe a time when the urge to eat was overwhelming, and by using the tools or
asking HP for help you were able to step back from the edge?
3. Can you describe an incident when you were not able to do that, and ate as a result?
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ASSIGNMENT:
Read from AA Big Book, Chapter 3, "More About Alcoholism", page 31, adapted to compulsive overeating.
Respond to questions about this reading.
Text of "More About Alcoholism"
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"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."
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Hi I'm Rose, and this is my final post as leader.
I remember when I was relapsing, and before recovery, there were many times
when I would try to prove (to whom, I don't exactly know) that I could eat
like a normal person under any conditions. I tried all of the above
techniques with food, and even if I could manage it for one sitting, I
would be so completely obsessed with the food, that I'd have to go back a few hours
later and somehow finish off whatever it was that I had tried to put down. I
finally learned that yes, I can put it down-for up to one day. And then I'd
have to spend at least one day eating whatever it was, and/or trying to get
it or make it myself. The mental energy involved in trying not to eat is in
direct proportion to the amount of energy I will eventually put into eating.
I finally learned, after 10 years in OA, that if I do take the first bite, my
*immediate* response must be to work my program-if I don't do that
*immediately* I will surely eat again. In my case there has not been an
exception to that fact, and I've stopped experimenting, one day at a time,
for the past 16 months.
THE QUESTIONS
1. Have you tried to eat "like a normal person" for a time, in or out of OA?
2. What was your experience?
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