FAITH
Understanding is the reward of faith.
Aurelius Augustinus
Therefore, seek
not to understand that thou mayest believe,
but
believe that thou mayest understand.
As a child, I believed in God, but the God of my childhood was a punishing God. I often felt that the reason for all the tragedies and misfortunes that I went through was because I didn't adhere to all the traditions and rules of my given religion. Perhaps the fact that I wasn't a good enough daughter to my parents, a good enough mother to my children, or a good enough friend was another reason why I was being punished. I would pray to the God of my childhood for what I wanted, but God never answered me or gave it to me, so what was the use of praying? I eventually stopped praying because my prayers were never answered.
I now know, having been led into this beautiful fellowship of the spirit, that God is a loving and forgiving God who always gave me what I needed, even if it didn't at the time seem to be what I wanted. The trouble had always been that I was filled with fear and found it hard to believe or trust in something or someone that I couldn't see or hear. I am a logical and rational person so it was really hard for me to have faith and trust that God would take care of me. It's said that the opposite of fear is faith, and so I am now learning to let go of the fear and put my faith and trust in a Higher Power of my understanding. I realize that He knows what's best for me, and will always be there for me if I only let Him.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will trust that my Higher Power knows what's best for me, and I put my myself in His care. My faith is growing stronger each day and I am able to release fear.
Faith
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