As I look back over my life, I can remember many losses. Some came about by death, some by the circumstances of life and others by choices I made. All of my losses were painful but only three were traumatic. Whenever I gave something up, there was a period afterwards when my life wasn't the same as before. The length of time and amount of pain I experienced was not contingent upon the seemingly "severity" of the loss. Death was final but not the most traumatic for me. Giving something up takes many forms.

While my most traumatic losses happened to be losing someone by a relationship ending, there were other losses. I lost my youth and mourned that. I lost a part of my life when a decades-long career gave way to retirement. I lost my role as mother when my children grew up and I found myself with an empty nest. I lost my identity when the disease I have had for a lifetime caused me to reach bottom and, in the process, took the "me who was" along with it. And I lost another part of myself when I accepted the reality of my marriage rather than the storybook dreams I once had.

My Twelve Step program has enabled me to go through a mourning process for each loss I experienced. I have allowed myself to grieve and feel the feelings. And when all this was done, God's grace allowed me to heal.

One day at a time ... I will learn from those things I had to give up ... and I will continue my journey in serenity and peace. ~ Mari ~

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