One Day at a Time
SELF-PITY
Sometimes I go about pitying myself
Ojibway Indian Saying
and all the while
I am being carried across the sky by beautiful clouds.
SELF-PITY
Sometimes I go about pitying myself
Ojibway Indian Saying
and all the while
I am being carried across the sky by beautiful clouds.
Before I came into the program, I never realized that I had succeeded in making myself a victim. Sure, I'd had my fair share of difficulties and yes, there had been physical problems in my life, but my reaction to all this in those days was to be angry at the unfairness of it all. I was so obsessed with self; it was always about me and my woes, so it was hardly surprising that I turned all those feelings inwards and became depressed. I ate, hoping to take away the pain of dealing with the uncomfortable feelings and the difficult circumstances. It was as if I had dug myself into this deep hole of despair and could not get out.
When I came into the program, I was given tools and Twelve Steps to help me to stop the compulsive eating; a way to get out of the abyss of despair and hopelessness that I had created for myself. When I had to look honestly at my life and the character defects that were keeping me stuck in destructive eating, I didn't want to own up to the character defect of self-pity because it made me feel less than. But what I have learned in this wonderful program is that I am still a child of God, no matter what imperfections I may have.
It has been a long and slow process of growth and change for me and not every day is wonderful. There are still days when the self-pity creeps back, but I try and not let myself wallow in it for too long. Unlike the past, where I would view everything from a totally negative perspective, I am now able to look past the difficulties at all the wonderful things in my life, and especially this life-saving program, with immense gratitude. Even when things seem to be really tough, I can still see beauty around me, and give thanks for wonderful, supportive friends and a loving family. What a gift that has been!
One day at a time...
I will focus on what is positive and beautiful in my life rather than what is negative, and allow my Higher Power to relieve me of the character defect of self-pity.
Sharon S.
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