Symposium Symposium
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12/14/99 Introduction I would like to thank Kitty for her tireless, helpful, and ongoing efforts on behalf of all of us, and especially for allowing me to enter some info about myself and what I’ve dedicated my life to doing (at least for now—ha). The first writing (Awakening) came about primarily as the result of my attempt to put on paper what happened to me in May of 1979. It was nothing of my "doing", other than a complete "surrender", or "letting go" utterly and completely. I’m taking this opportunity so that maybe it will help someone else, as well as explain to anyone else interested (not just for my friends at the Forum) what I’m about, my Dharma. Thanks. Terry O (Can’t remember when this was done. Probably in last few years.) My "Awakening" Bending to demand, I will try to give a synopsis of my spiritual experience of May 3, 1979. Without it, I would not be writing this, as any concept of "God" had long been given over to the "spirit"---that is, the "spirits" in alcohol. With a long history of failures, despair, hopelessness; with EMS literally saving my life on three occasions, and the final "surrender" beginning with an court ordered commitment to a treatment facility in October of 1978, sometime during my last drunk (48 days) the "truth" came to me that yes, I am an alcoholic. During that time (because of prior EMS experience), I also knew I was a dead man if I didn’t get back into the hospital. I wasn’t given much of a chance to make it, but after 8 days I was coming around enough to go out in the sun. I was laying in a court yard of the hospital in a state of total defeat when I experienced a total "white out", and a feeling of awesome warmth engulfed me. All memory was wiped out, and I was restored to my "original condition". That was the "affect". Words are inadequate, but shortly thereafter, my first conscious thought was "I’d never drink again the rest of my life", and the words that came out were "Good God, it can’t be that simple". Not knowing what had happened, how it happened-----any terminology relating to "spiritual awakening", what I say regarding "it" today is based on research and an "expansion" of my "thinking mind" concerning spirituality. Terry O’Rourke 12/14/99 May 1979 Continued I was "on cloud nine" (as the expression goes) following that experience and a lot of "realizations" were taking place. I had been reduced to my "Original Self" and had "seen" the person I’d been for the past 41 years. You might say I was dumbfounded. What I knew as well is that I didn’t know how to live in this world, which was a blessing all by itself. Not wanting to live like I had the first 41 years, and realizing I fit the description of being an alcoholic (finally) I started going to AA meetings while I was still in the hospital and that part hasn’t stopped these past 20 years. I followed what my sponsor told me to do to the letter, and if this didn’t work (AA) it wouldn’t be due to my not following directions. At this point I knew nothing about AA, it’s program, or history. So, while I’m following all the guidelines given to me, I still don’t know what the hell happened to me, and still "zoned out" you might say. I’m "working the Steps" as it’s called, reading the literature, being teachable, and learning. As I’ve talked about many times at the Forum, it was after about two months of this that my very Catholic Grandmother introduced me to her guru (which really blew my mind) Ram Dass (Richard Alpert). I listened to one tape of his and I knew, that he knew. So, unbeknownst to anyone else (sponsor, other AA members, etc.) I’m off to the races you might say. I couldn’t get enough. For the next two years it was work, AA meeting every night until about 10:00 or 10:30, and from then until 2:00 or 3:00 every night it was listening to tapes and meditating. Up at 6:30 and off and going for another day. I was pumped. Looking back, I didn’t even think of the "energy" that was flowing. Anyway, it was during this time that I came to realize that the founder of AA (Bill W.) had had a similar experience, and that after many other alcoholics had straightened their lives out, they wrote a book called Alcoholics Anonymous that laid out Step by Step what they’d done. I also realized that God in his great love had inspired this program, and I was able to "see" the process that takes place that will lead others to the same experience Bill W. had, and I had. (as well as many, many others both in AA and the outside world----William James "Varieties of Religious Experiences"). The experience isn’t that uncommon, but it’s not talked about much, as most members arrive "there" by what is called the "educational process". Realizing that people didn’t have to live the hell I had for all those years I’ve devoted my life to helping those suffering from the disease of alcoholism (as well as others). One thing I discovered is that no one WANTS to be an alcoholic, and the minute life gets bad enough for them to reach out----enter a door of an AA group----the beginning of "ego reduction" has begun, which we know today is primarily a "thinking" problem. Don’t misunderstand, by the time an alcoholic is in full bloom the physical, emotional, spiritual condition of demoralization is complete. The dis-ease concept is well founded. The next letter is one I wrote when I was really trying to get someone’s attention to help me out. I’d already approached many, but without "credentials" no one would listen. It was suggested that I summarize my activities, and that is the letter that follows. I might add that it didn’t get a favorable response either, but it hasn’t stopped my doing what I can with the limitations that exist. Following that letter, I will explain the effectiveness of the "method" I’ve used. Namaste’ (Written sometime in 1995) The words of a social scientist interviewed on CNN recently "We need 500,000 Policemen on the streets---RIGHT NOW, in order to head off the coming disaster!" I really can’t say too much about that statement, but I can say what I’ve been doing for the last 15 years, and what he said doesn’t surprise me. In fact many others are trying to wake the country up to some terrible truths. For that length of time, I have been trying to find someone, or group of individuals, to fund my efforts in helping people find answers to life’s problems. Most of these efforts have been in the addiction’s field, but not limited to that segment of the population. I have resisted letters like this, as my own personal experience’s are to "far out" for most people to believe or understand, at least in this society. What I can say is that Dr. Richard Alpert, Dr. M. Scott Peck, Dr. Bernie Siegel, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Mariann Williamson, Shakti Gawain, etc., etc., etc., are right on track. That is, the track that relates to their individual specialties. As I’ve tried to "do what I do", what I consider my calling in life, I’ve tried to keep up the financial part on my own, but that has become impossible at this time, as the "need" has grown to such an extent I can’t do both. In questioning why help hasn’t come forward, I was told that I needed to come up with some facts, history, etc., about what I’ve been doing. Naive that I am, I assumed people would just notice---that word would spread. It did, at least to the people needing help, and continues to do so, as I am currently interacting directly with eight (8) individuals, and the forty-seven (47)represented in the "facts" below. These are some of the facts relating to these individuals:
For the sake of brevity, I will not go into more demographics at this time. For the last 15 years I have been on the Board of Directors of the largest government funded agency in the State and I am well aware of the problem faced by any treatment program in establishing long term success. In 1979 the ratio of success was 1 in 35 maintained recovery for two years, and that number is now 1 in 70. Please pardon me if the following will appear egotistical. What I have experienced and come to "know" has truly been a gift from God, or you would not be reading these words. I would have been dead 16 years ago, without question. The statistics shown on the previous page relate to people who would also be dead, or in an institution of some sort. The success of my efforts are really not mine, as I only "point" to the effect of doing certain things, and with information available from other sources, some have had similar "experiences" as I did, and all know about who, what, and how they function as human beings. It is a synthesis of ages old knowledge with current vernacular and methods, easily understood, with a modicum of self-discipline. It would be my wish that if nothing else, the means for me to continue to do what I’ve done these past 15 years would be how I live the rest of my life; given the means, so much more could be done as many of the people I am currently involved with are being groomed to do as I’ve done. I have approached people in our society with the fact that this information could be graphically presented on video tape, but as yet no one has responded. Someone once said "I came unto my own, and my own received me not", and that’s partly how I feel. Our society doesn’t accept that someone right in front of them might know some answers. At any rate, I would like to expand on what I’ve said, given the chance. For this writing I must emphasize that a great part of what the "method" involves is being used by millions of people today, enabling them to find a semblance of peace in their lives. There are other factors involved however, that have contributed to the effectiveness of what you have read on these pages, too numerous to elaborate on at this time. Thank you for your consideration in reading this. * Footnote: The details of the original $5,960,000 are not available. How it was figured is: At the time, as "poverty level" figures varied from one area to another I took an average of the ones I found, which amounted to $9,000. When an hard core alcoholic/drug addict is "active" they are a burden to society------they cost society. So, as these folks no longer were "costing" society, I figured at least they were self-supporting, productive individuals which meant they were contributing at least $9,000 to the economy. In other words a plus factor of $18,000. The average grouping of people at the time I figured it was between 7-10 years. So, to come close to the figure I've shown is the best I can do at this time. $18,000 X 47 X 7 (lowest number) = $5,922,000. A few make many times that figure, but most I would say are in the $40,000 to $50,000 range. |
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1/16/00 It’s been sort of a dilemma to continue at this point. Where to start, and the purpose of writing anything in the first place. I guess I covered that in my first comments----the purpose. When I first started "helping out" it was with two teenagers who were a little wild to say the least. Being a friend of a child psychiatrist I asked her advice about their situations and it was then that she told me that when a person reaches 15 it takes two years of a controlled environment to turn them around, and that proved to be true. Currently (child psychologists locally) have lowered that age to 13. That TIME factor is very important. The last section was a "report" on what I’ve been doing for over 20 years now, and it was meant to show what can be done, if a little more effort was made by our "methods" that were, and are, currently being used to help people. We’ve tried many methods over the years, and now Cognitive Therapy seems to be in the forefront. This approach does appear to have it’s plus’s, but here again it lacks the long term effect of a person disciplining themselves enough, over a long enough period, to really achieve lasting results. The best "method" for this is in a controlled environment (if needed) with others working towards the same goal. All of societies methods have dealt with the thinking of individuals, but seldom deal with their spiritual life. Of course as we know (ha), all "life" is spiritual. "IT"S" ALL SPIRITUAL. Ram Dass tells of a Buddhist Monk in Thailand who cures 70% of heroin addicts who come to him. He processes 100 (he couldn’t remember the exact number) people every ten days, at a cost of $25. $15 if you get there on your own. Tell THAT to someone in this society who deals with heroin addicts---------or anyone in the field of addictions. With younger people today, the combination of drugs and alcohol has the effect of driving them into a program such as AA sooner. The consequences (court system, psychiatric wards, etc.) show up quicker verses a person who just consumes alcohol may take years and years of trying to "do" life before he/she "surrenders". Invariably it’s after much devastation has taken place with other people, places, and things. Getting back to my efforts, the percentage success is a little misleading at this point, because a few of the people mentioned have "used" again (but got back), and one committed suicide. Never-the-less, it is still more than the 1 in 70 that make it two years or more, as mentioned earlier. This is the result of using an existing program (AA) that works for many thousands of people, but even so, most alcoholics die drunk. The reason for this is that unless they continue on a path of "surrender" of their ego’s (concepts and preconceived ideas), their old thinking processes creep back in over time, and they drink again, as that too has become an habitual process of dealing with the physical world. The element I’ve added is that at the proper time I introduce the ones I’ve worked with to a longer view, and understanding, of life. I’ve introduced them to meditation (breath method) and just what it does for them. At the same time I bring into this "educational process" people like Ram Dass, Dr. Chopra, Christ’s message, etc., whatever their background will permit, and develop an understanding of "Consciousness", their own and how it got to where "it" is. The time it takes for all this to happen depends on the individual and how desperate they are, and that depends on their age and what their life experiences have been. As the process of letting go is the same for any human being, my next endeavor will be to explain the Steps to "alchemy" that is helping so many in AA, because they HAVE to do them, or else. The fate of an alcoholic/drug addict is either to quit drinking and/or "using" and live (face "reality"), or end up in an institution of some kind (prison, insane asylum) or die. |
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This page last updated on: January 29, 2000 Web page developed and maintained by Kitty Morel If you have comments, please drop us mail at k_morel@msn.com