February 2001 finds me 20 months post-op. Life has certainly been interesting in those 20 months. I also find that they have past very quickly.
As I have not stepped on a scale since October, I cannot tell you what my current weight is. It isn’t that I am not interested, but it doesn’t matter to me what weight I am at now. I am healthier than I was in June of 2000.
I was having a conversation with a friend of mine about a week ago and we were chatting about celebrities. During our chat, he brought up Carnie Wilson. He was commenting on her weight loss and how he thinks she took drastic measures for something that could be handled with weight and exercise. Now, I won’t even get into how this man does not take care of his own body and his diet is horrible. I laughed and said something along the lines of you know morbid obesity is a disease. There isn’t a miracle cure for it. Heck, there isn’t a cure for it period. I turned and said “what if you knew someone who had that type of surgery, would you think less of them because the didn’t have willpower?” “I had a version of the same surgery Carnie had in June of 2000”, is what came out of my mouth. He was shocked. He had seen pictures of me when I was fat and didn’t recognize me. I told him that having the surgery saved my life. Then he wanted to ask me lots of questions and still asks questions to this day. This was an important thing because I do keep the fact I had the Fobi Pouch a secret to most people. It is not out of shame but rather ignorance of others. A recent issue of People has the letters to the editor about Carnie’s story. The responses that are in that section explain why I don’t tell people. Those who truly care about me know the truth and that is fine.
There are areas that I struggle with every day and every day it is something different.
Throwing up: I can go weeks without any throwing up episodes and then have 3 days in a row where I throw up after every meal (except breakfast because I eat oatmeal). Sometimes it is the food I eat and how I eat it that sets me off. Other times, there is no explanation what so ever. I do find that when I throw up at lunchtime, I have a tough time keeping my dinner down. I attribute it to the muscles are just in a bit of a spasm and don’t know any better. However, hot or warm water seems to calm me down once I have finished. Sometimes if you aren’t careful you can throw the water right back up.
Dumping: I must admit that when this happens now it is because I am not paying attention to what I put in my mouth. Recently, I was reading on a internet discussion group that while the surgery helped us in loosing the weight it did NOT help us with the mental aspects of being overweight. My brain does not know any better and wants to eat the old way many times. A few months ago I was eating caramel corn while watching TV. I put the bag aside and then about 30 minutes later I was rolling on the floor with chest pain that felt what a heart attack must feel like. It took another 30 minutes for that to pass.
Eating Right: My New Year’s resolution was to begin to watch what I was eating. I still have some bad habits that I need to break. While the Fobi Pouch has given me a tool to help me loose the weight, it is NOT a cure for obesity. Remember the weight can come back if you don’t watch yourself. I now think, “if I eat this, what nutritional value does it have for my body?” Not that I am never having a piece of chocolate again, however, eating one piece is better than a whole candy bar.
As I close this update, I find myself thinking of my recent sneak preview of Disney’s California Adventure in Anaheim. I was able to ride every ride. The seatbelts, lap bars, and other restraints fit perfectly over every part of my body. Getting in and out of the rides was done with ease. (As a roller coaster fan, I must say California Screamin is a MUST.) I was even able to play in the Challenge Trail area that is very physical and had a blast.
I am looking forward to wearing a bathing suit this summer that is two pieces and I think a trip to Washington D.C. is in the works later this year and being able to do all the walking will be wonderful.
