I have gotten a great deal of support from people who have visited this site and for that I am also grateful. Recently I have started doing something I tried to do a year ago but couldn’t. On Oprah there was an author talking about her book “Simple Abundance”. (By the way it’s a great book, started as one woman’s guide to a happier life). In the book she talks about creating a journal, taking the time each day to write about the day, and most important to make a list of 5 things for which you are grateful. Last year I made a deal with myself because I couldn’t do 5 that I would start with 3. I couldn’t even do that!! Recently I started doing it again, and I’ve been able to do at least 5 every day. What a difference losing 114 pounds will make. I see the world differently now than before, and unlike before, I can see that I can have a future. I remember telling my therapist that I couldn’t see what lay ahead for me or my family, that I could only see darkness, no happiness or joy. How sad. I am so glad that those times are behind me.
One of my other projects lately is making sure that I exercise, and pay attention to exactly what and when I am eating. I’m not obsessing about food, but it’s a really important component to my long-lasting success with this, so I intend to be careful about it. I have gotten input from people who have had similar surgeries in the past and they have struggled because they took it for granted and didn’t use it like the tool it is for long-term maintenance. For those who are just considering the surgery this statement may sound like a disappointment “Uh oh, that sounds like I may have to diet and exercise… I’m not sure I like hearing that…”.
Sometimes I’ve been surprised about the emails or postings I’ve received. People seem concerned about some of what I consider “non-issue” things. An example might be the scar, or hair loss, or what to tell people afterward. I have learned to take a moment and be patient because these are valid concerns in the other persons mind. But I do find myself asking privately “Sounds like they’re trying to find excuses for NOT doing this…?” Believe me, there are plenty of excuses that I would consider major and valid for not doing the surgery… like insurance won’t pay, don’t have the money and can’t get it, afraid your health is already so bad you can’t make it being put under, how can you take care of yourself afterward… well, you get the idea. I consider those MAJOR concerns that put up a brick wall in front of what you may truly want and need. But you know what, sometimes if you can’t break through the brick wall, you can go over it, under it or around it. I’ve seen people who never dreamed that they could have this surgery see their dreams come true. C’mon, ask yourself “Am I just finding reasons?”
Okay, this was supposed to be my 9 month update. Not too much else has changed, I’ve lost a total of 114 pounds to date. It has slowed in the last few months. I wear size 16 comfortably, and many size 14 clothes. I bought really pretty underwear for myself a week ago for the first time in years. I’d forgotten how good that felt! I give myself a pedicure every week and am so happy to see my toes (polished yet). I still eat soup a lot, but since it’s winter, that isn’t much of a surprise. I can feel my hip bones every morning before I get out of bed. I’m going to have to start working with weights to work on my flabby “chicken” arms. My hair has stopped falling out a couple of months ago and I have lot’s of new sprouts up there sort of sticking out like 10 month old baby hair (why is it 10 month old babies always look like baby birds, with their hair sticking up like that?).
Please forgive me if this seems a little fragmented. I have answered dozens and dozens of emails in the past few days from those who have visited this site. To all of you on a quest for knowledge I say “Welcome”. If I can’t help you, I’ll try to point you in the right direction. Please read the information on my site, most of your questions will already be answered there. If not, please don’t let what I’ve said above stop you from asking. It’s one of life’s lessons I think I need to learn… and I’m working on it.
