Three distinct phases in the cycle of violence have been identified: 1) The tension building phase, 2) The acute battering incident, and 3) The honeymoon stage. The phases vary in time and in severity between couples and even at different times within the same relationship. It is, then, difficult to predict how long a couple will remain in one phase or to determine the length of an individual couple's cycle.
The tension building phase is characterized by sudden changes in the abuser's temperment or mood. The batterer becomes increasingly prone to reacting negatively to frustration. Little episodes of violence escalate to the level of minor assault, but are minimized and rationalized by both partners. Becoming nurturing and compliant, the spouse tries to stay out of her partner's way. In order for her to maintain this role, she must not show anger. The batterer, encouraged by this passive acceptance, does not try to control himself.
The abuser's fear of losing his partner is reinforced by her efforts to avoid him. As she tries to forestall the impending explosion by distancing herslef, he becomes more oppressive, jealous and possessive. Her anger steadily increases even though she may not recognize or express it. As the tension increases, it becomes more difficult for each to cope and they become more frantic.
Minor battering incidents become more frequent. The abuser becomes more smothering and more brutal, looking for signs of her anger and sensing it even though she continues to try to deny it. Exhausted by the stress, she may withdraw even further. The abuser hovers around her, barely giving her room to breathe. Every move she makes is subject to misinterpretation, and the tension between them becomes unbearable. Somewhere at the end of this phase, the process ceases to respond to any controls. As this point of inevitability is reached, the couple enters Phase Two: the acute battering incident.
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