The following questionnaire can help you identify whether you are an abused woman. Your courage and willingness to fill out the quesionnaire indicates your willingness to want a positive life. Consider your present or past relationship. Even though you may not be in a relationshiop, you might still be recovering from an abusive relationship.
1. (Yes) - (No) Do you find yourself trying to drive painful fear and anxiety underground with self-destructive addictions: alcoholism, shopping sprees, overeating, negative relationships, compulsive cleaning, or drugs?
2. (Yes) - (No) Has he locked you out of the house, taken the car keys or money, humiliated you in public, abused your pets or children, or driven your family or friends away?
3. (Yes) - (No) Do you feel tht you live in fear because he has pushed, scratched, slapped, hit, punched, choked, kicked, tightly held, bit or thrown you in your relationship?
4. (Yes) - (No) Are you terrified of his anger? Do you keep a vigilant guard to be perfect so he won't get angry?
5. (Yes) - (No) Do you have a communication style with him of trying to appease or second-guess him?
6. (Yes) - (No) Has he driven recklessly when you are in the car, thrown objects at you, threatened to hurt you with a weapon, abandoned you in dangerous places, refused to help when you are pregnant, injured, or sick?
8. (Yes) - (No) Do you find it difficult to face reality in your relationship and often find yourself fantasizing about what it could be like?
9. (Yes) - (No) Do you lie awake worrying about your abusive relationship?
10. (Yes) - (No) Are you embarrased to discuss your relationship situation with your friends or relatives?
11. (Yes) - (No) Do you withdraw from friends, relatives and outside activities when your relationship is not working?
Count the number of "yes" responses that you gave and compare that number to the breakdown below. If you feel that you are currently involved in an abusive relationship, do not lose hope. There are many resources in your neighborhood that you can turn to for help.
1-2 You are probably affected by "love dependency" (a preoccupation with a relationship).
3-6 You are suffering from abuse and should start examining what is happening in the relationship.
7-9 You should seriously start examining your relationship more closely as you are showing signs of being involved in abuse. Abuse is definitely the issue.
10-11 Crisis intervention needed! Seek individual help from a counselor familiar with abuse. Joint therapy not appropriate!
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