Sensuous Sex And The Erotic Condom Dr.Joe's Data Base
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Is that an oxymoron? Can condoms really be, well...erotic? I mean, we all
know they are a smart choice for pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease
prevention, but can they really be...sensuous?
In my many talks throughout campus, students have shared with me their
discontents about using condoms and yet I have also talked with a sizable
number of students who have made condoms not only an enjoyable part of sex,
but an erotic part of sex.
I set out on a mission to talk to students who use condoms and like them.
Maybe these people know something others don't. I asked them to tell me (1)
what they like best about their experiences with condoms, and (2) what they
do to make condoms a more spontaneous and enjoyable part of their sexual
intimacy.
Tania, age 20, Biochem student: "I like using condoms for pregnancy
prevention. It feels a lot safer to me than the pill. My boyfriend gets
real creative. He hides condoms all over the house. They're hidden
everywhere...under the lamp in the bedroom, under the cushions on the
couch, under the blender. You never know when you'll need it. And I like to
put them on for him too."
Seth, age 23, Film and Television student: "What I like best about condoms
is feeling safe from pregnancy and STDs. Feeling safe really enhances the
sexual experience for me. Whoever said the risk factor is sexy is screwed
up in the head. You can lose yourself in the experience because you're not
worrying. For me, the ritual of putting the condom on with my girlfriend is
kind of fun and as much a part of the sexual act as holding hands all the
way up to intercourse. Before anything gets going, we'll get the condom
ready. We'll open up the package, put a drop or two of lubricant into the
condom and lay it on the night stand. Then it's a quick reach. We're not
fumbling. And of course, she's always the one to put it on."
Aeisha, age 22, Political Science student: "At first I liked using condoms
to prevent STDs, but after we were both tested, we continued to use condoms
even though we were in a committed relationship because they're good for
preventing pregnancy. First you have to find the right brand. Some brands
we really didn't like, but we've found one we do, and we enjoy it. We
always put the condom on together. And we act out this little drama around
the condom. We play around with it. And he likes to tease me with it. It's
fun."
Steven, age 19, English student: "My boyfriend and I always use condoms. I
don't think it's a big deal at all. We just put a little lubricant into the
top of the condom and away we go. It's a natural part of our sex life.
Besides, feeling safe is a turn-on. I couldn't enjoy myself without it."
Andrew, age 23, Political Science student: "I like using condoms because
they're convenient, reliable and make me last longer. Also knowing that my
girlfriend doesn't have to alter her biology in any way with this method is
reassuring to me. I think I've gotten condom-use down to an art. We always
keep them within arm's reach so we don't have to go too far to get them.
It's a real drag if they're far away and you have to stop what you're
doing. Next, I make using condoms a challenge! I've learned to slowly slide
the condom under the pillow, open it and put it on using only one hand
while I use the other hand "inventively" with my girlfriend. For an added
bonus, I try to do all this without my girlfriend knowing! My advice to
guys is to have some fun with it. And treat it like a challenge. I don't
meet many guys who don't like a challenge."
Denzel, age 22, Psycho-Bio student: "Guys may complain about condoms, but I
really don't think they're bad at all. A condom isn't going to make much of
a difference during sex unless it's a really thick condom. My favorite
brands are Ramses and Lifestyles. I don't do anything special to make using
them better, because I honestly don't think they're a problem. I focus more
on what we're doing with each other than on the condom. And with the
condom, I don't have to worry. I don't have to wait 28 days to see if it
worked. I can see the semen in the condom and I know it worked. I always
use them."
All the above students did not use their real names.
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Tips to make condoms more erotic:
1. Before unrolling the condom onto the penis, put a dab of water- based
lubricant such as PrePair, Forplay or KY Jelly into the tip of the
condom. It'll give you more sensation. Never use oil-based lubricants
like Vaseline or baby oil. They can cause the condom to break.
2. Keep the condom nearby so you'll have it when you need it.
3. Get creative using condoms. Share the experience with your partner.
Make it part of you intimate activities together.
Have you found ways to make condoms more erotic too? If so, we'd like to
know about it. Send your ideas to : SexTalk, Health Education, Dept. UCLA
Student Health Service A2-130 CHS LA, CA 90095. Darlene Mininni,MPH is the
coordinator of the Sexual Health Education Program in the UCLA Student
Health Service. And this is your friendly editor signing off. See you
internetters on-line in our next issue.
Thien H. Van
PHC@UCLA
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