FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS for alt.sex.masturbation
Dr.Joe's Data Base
Thanks to everyone who has contributed!
Masturbation, like any other subtopic of sex, gets its share of questions
and preconceptions. This is a short guide that has been patched
together to answer some of those questions and stimulate discussion.
===============
Summary of changes since the last FAQ distribution:
Topic 3, Techniques for Men: New Number 5: The Belly-scratch
Note: each edited line of this FAQ (below this point) is marked with an
asterisk (*) in the left margin.
===============
The compiler of this FAQ wishes to make several announcements before
proceeding further.
1. The editor/compiler of this FAQ is not a Doctor, Sex Therapist, or
expert in any commonly recognized legal context. The editor is simply
a person with several years of personal experience with the subject, and
has read a respectable number of articles and books on the subject. If
you, the reader, have any questions or concerns regarding the validity of
the answers contained herein, please consult someone whose opinion you
trust.
2. There is no way that this FAQ can answer all common questions, nor can
it diagnose personal problems and give answers based on personal data.
This is particularly true for medical problems. If you have a specific
problem or question, especially a medical one, CONSULT AN EXPERT. If you
Ahave a medical problem, SEE A DOCTOR. If you are worried about
confidentiality, ask someone you can trust. Any decent doctor with an
ounce of integrity will keep a trust, especially when discussing
masturbation. To the editor/compiler's knowledge, there are no laws
requiring parental notification for any minor who admits to masturbating.
If you have other concerns, talk to certified sex therapist (call the local
hospital and ask for a referral), a clergyman, a school counselor or trusted
teacher. If you have not yet found someone knowledgeable who's opinion and
integrity you can trust, now is the time to start looking for one.
3. The editor/compiler is male, and an unintentional male bias may show
at times. The editor appreciates the fact that women masturbate too, and
has done everything within reason to try and make this FAQ equally
convenient and informative for both sexes.
4. In the editor/compiler's view, masturbation has no practical
distinctions across sexual preferences. Straight and gay people alike
masturbate the same way. No sex-preference bias is intended in this FAQ.
===========================================================================
All questions are numbered to provide easy hits for a computer search
routine. The FAQ is also organized into topics. Only the first two topics
follow a question-answer format. The rest is a database of information.
Topic 1. Common questions
1Q. What is masturbation?
2Q. How does a man masturbate?
3Q. How does a woman masturbate?
4Q. How many men/women masturbate?
Topic 2. Concerns
5Q. Can I masturbate too much?
6Q. Will I hurt my penis/vagina by masturbating too much?
7Q. My penis goes off at an angle! Is this from masturbation?
8Q. WIll my penis get larger/smaller by masturbating it?
9Q. Will I catch a disease from masturbation?
10Q. Will I go blind/bald/insane/grow hair on my palms/penis turn
black and fall off from masturbating?
11Q. Can a doctor tell if I've been masturbating?
12Q. Can my parents/guardian/spouse/other tell if I've been
masturbating?
13Q. I quit having/never had wet dreams after I started
masturbating. Is this normal?
14Q. Will I lose my ability to perform with a partner if I
masturbate?
15Q. Will I become obsessed with masturbation?
16Q. Masturbation is only for people who can't get laid, right?
17Q. Will I burn in hell for masturbating?
18Q. Should I use a lubricant? Which lubricant should I use?
19Q. All my friends masturbate to orgasm but I am unable to.
What's wrong?
Topic 3. Techniques
For Men:
1. Old Reliable
2. The Southpaw
3. The Rubdown
4. The Waterfall
* 5. The Belly-scratch
6. Autofellatio
For Women:
1. Old Reliable
2. The Squeeze
3. The Waterfall
4. Autocunnilingus
Topic 4. Toys and things
1. Non-sexual objects
2. Food
3. How to make a simulacrum (artificial vagina)
4. How to make a tunnel of love (artificial vagina)
5. Commercial sleeves and artificial vaginas
6. Dolls
7. Vibrators
8. Vacuums
Topic 5. Adult Movies (X-rated)
Topic 6. Mainstream Movies (R-rated and lower)
Topic 7. Bibliography of Resources
===========================================================================
Topic 1. Common questions
1Q. What is masturbation?
Masturbation is sexual activity performed by yourself, usually by
stimulating your own erogenous zones until you reach orgasm.
Most commonly this is done by using one of both of your hands, but
it can employ other objects as well. Strictly speaking, the same
acts performed on you by a partner (or vice versa) is not masturbation
even though it is commonly referred to as "mutual masturbation."
Masturbation is self-stimulation. It is also known as Autoeroticism
and sometimes Onanism.
2Q. How does a man masturbate?
There are a variety of methods, but the most common one is by wrapping
his fingers around the erect penis and then stroking it up and down until
ejaculation. Another common method is to rub the erect penis against
something, like a mattress, a pillow, or a sex toy, until ejaculation.
3Q. How does a woman masturbate?
Again, there are a variety of methods. The most common is for the
woman to use her fingers to caress and massage her clitoris until
orgasm. This stimulation is often accompanied by similar caress,
massage, and touch to other sensitive areas, such as the breasts,
the vaginal lips, and the interior of the vagina itself.
4Q. How many men/women masturbate?
According to most reliable sex surveys, approximately 95% of men and
around 60% of women claim to have masturbated. The figures vary
depending on the survey and the scope of the questions. For more
specific data, refer to a good survey, such as the Kinsey Institute
periodically conducts.
The less scientific way of putting is that very nearly all men and
most women have tried it at some point in their lives, and a large
subset of that group continues to practice it. The world is full of
men and women of all ages who masturbate and enjoy it. In most
countries, including the USA, it is legal (if not performed in
public).
Masturbation is the most benign form of sex play that is currently
known. It does not cause pregnancy. It does not hurt the
practitioner (unless the practitioner does something that is
inherently dangerous to begin with). And with privacy and some good
hygiene habits, nobody else needs to know.
===========================================================================
Topic 2. Concerns
5Q. Can I masturbate too much?
This is not a clear-cut answer, but generally the answer is no. For
men, masturbation requires an erection and an orgasm. Masturbation
simply triggers the body's mechanism for ejecting semen. When the
body runs out of semen, the man is going to be unable to obtain an
erection, and his sex-drive is (hopefully) going to decline until
the semen levels rebuild. In women, masturbation simply triggers
an orgasm and a spasm in the vaginal area. It does not affect
procreational abilities at all.
How often one can masturbate depends entirely on the sex drive and
capabilities of the person. Teen males (and this is not backed up
by any statistics I have) seem to average once or twice a day, with
some doing it less and some doing it more often.
The hazards of frequent masturbation are mainly chafing or rubbing
yourself raw. If you develop a tender spot, it's obviously time to
take a couple days off and let it heal.
6Q. Will I hurt my penis/vagina by masturbating too much?
The hazards of frequent masturbation are mainly chafing or rubbing
yourself raw. If you develop a tender spot, it's obviously time to
take a couple days off and let it heal. Unless you do something
inherently dangerous to your penis or vagina (like inserting
something that was never made to go there), there should be nothing
to worry about.
7Q. My penis goes off at an angle! My vaginal lips look strange. Is
this from masturbating?
I have not seen any correlation between how a penis stands or how
vaginal lips look and masturbation. On men, some penes are going to
point up and some down, some a little to one side and some a bit to
the other. On women, the lips are going to form the way they're
going to form (unless you're actively tugging on them and trying to
tie them in knots and things. And even that may not make a
difference). That's just the breaks, like having one testicle hang
lower than the other, or having one breast shaped differently than
the other.
8Q. Will my penis get larger/smaller by masturbating it?
No. Your penis is going to reach its genetically determined size
whether you're playing with it or not. If it got bigger, mine would
be a block long. If it got smaller, it would microscopic. But it
turns out that I am statistically average.
9Q. Will I catch a disease from masturbation?
No. Social diseases are spread by germs--bacteria and virii.
If you do not come in contact with these germs, you won't get the
disease. Masturbation is not (usually) a social activity.
10Q. Will I go blind/bald/insane/grow hair on my palms/penis turn
black and fall off from masturbating?
No. These are just old scare tactics to discourage people from
doing it. Men's sexual organs are built to do two things: make
sperm and semen, and ejaculate it out of the body. Once the semen
and sperm are out of the penis, the body ceases to care what happens.
Your body does not care whether the semen ends up in a vagina or
or a throat or an anal cavity or in a tissue. For women, orgasm is
divorced from procreation. Women do not need orgasms to become
pregnant, and vice versa.
11Q. Can a doctor tell if I've been masturbating?
No. And for this reason: once you pass puberty, your body is ready
for sex. On men, the semen and sperm is being produced and stored.
If the semen and sperm are not ejaculated manually (through partnered
sex or masturbation), then it will be ejaculated automatically when
you sleep (called a "wet dream.") A man's body is constantly making
and storing semen, and when there is too much of it, the body gets
rid of it. A doctor has no way of knowing which method you are using
to purge the semen.
On women, the vagina secretes lubricant when aroused, but other than
that, there should be no other tell-tale signs. A woman's natural
lubricant can be initiated through wet dreams or day dreams that are
unaccompanied by masturbation. Unless you leave fingerprints on your
genitals, there will be no way to tell.
12Q. Can my parents/guardian/spouse/other tell if I've been
masturbating?
Yes and no. Genital inspection will show nothing, as illustrated
above. But for men there are other signs. Semen leaves a yellow
stain when it dries, and it can smell awful. Good hygiene and
cleaning habits will wash away semen before it stains or smells.
If you are worried about physical evidence, the best way to do it
is to catch the semen in a tissue and flush it, and shower off any
excess. Blame any stains in underclothes or sheets as the result of
wet dreams.
13Q. I quit having/never had wet dreams after I started masturbating. Is
this normal?
Yes. As described above, the male body produces semen and sperm and
stores it. If too much is stored, the body will purge some to make
room for more. Masturbation and intercourse will manually purge the
semen and sperm, but if this is not done, the body will do it
automatically. Hence wet dreams. Masturbation manually ejaculates
sperm and semen, so the body does not need to do it automatically.
This should not be something to worry about. Most people prefer to
be awake for their orgasms anyway.
14Q. Will I lose my ability to perform with a partner if I masturbate?
Not likely. Most people claim that masturbation helps a person
develop a sense of what stimulus he or she needs to have an orgasm.
Many people say that they develop better control through
masturbation. Either way, as described above, there are no physical
dangers to masturbation--you don't use up all your sperm.
15Q. Will I become obsessed with masturbation?
This depends on your personality, but the answer is most likely No.
Many people find it hard to abstain from masturbation for long
periods of time, but any gratifying habit is hard to break. You
should not be concerned with becoming obsessed with masturbation
unless it becomes a compulsion and you lose control of it, and it
interferes with other aspects of your life. In that case, it would
be best to consult a good therapist (call a local hospital and ask
for a referral).
16Q. Masturbation is only for people who can't get laid, right?
No. Some people do masturbate because there is no sexual partner
in their lives, for whatever reason (and there are many good ones).
However, many people who are married or involved in other sexual
relationships continue to masturbate. Masturbation is just another
form of sex play, and there are times when it is just what the person
wants to do. Masturbation when alone is uncomplicated, since the
person has complete and utter control of the progression of the act.
Sometimes a person wants an orgasm without having to involve other
people, for any of a number of valid reasons. Masturbation while being
watched by a partner can be very erotic. Many men love to watch their
partners masturbate, and dream of it if they do not. Many women feel
the same way. Mutual masturbation is an avenue that leads to much
enjoyment. Discontinuation of masturbation after marriage or the start
of some other sexual relationship simply denies people a lot of
opportunities for erotic play.
17Q. Will I burn in hell for masturbating?
That question is best left to a trusted clergyman of whatever faith
you follow. I personally do not believe that God concerns himself
with it. It is far too benign and enjoyable a practice to be damned.
18Q. Should I use a lubricant? What kind of lubricant should I use?
That depends on your personal preference. Many men use lubricants
because they find the friction of masturbating a dry penis is too
uncomfortable. I learned how to do it dry and by the time I tried
a lubricant, I liked doing it dry. Try both ways and decide which
is better for you, and don't be afraid to switch for variety.
There are a variety of lubricants available. Johnson & Johnson makes
a great, water based lubricant called KY Jelly. It is a clear,
odorless jell that cleans up with water, which makes it very easy to
shower or rinse off. It also works with condoms without breaking
them the way many petroleum jellies do.
Vaseline is a common, household jell, but it is petroleum based and
has some inherent drawbacks. It can ruin condoms, and it won't clean
up with water the way KY will.
Both of these products (and similar ones) can be found in a
drugstore. Both have household uses (such as preventing chafing)
so it should not be embarrassing to buy them.
Hand lotions (one wit cracked, "why do you THINK they're called
'hand' lotions?") can work well, and will sit innocently on any
bathroom sink without betrayal of their real purpose. Different
hand lotions have different qualities, so you may have to experiment
to find out which one works.
Soap and shampoo are generally not considered good lubricants.
Both tend to dry out the skin and create friction instead of reduce
it. Every sore spot I have ever developed came from using soap
while masturbating in the shower or bathtub. But relatively large
quantities of soap applied very often, especially something like
DOVE that has moisturizers in it, can work.
One contributor found that coconut oil makes a good lubricant, stating
that it is far better than KY jelly. It can be found in the cooking
oils section of health food stores. It does not have a significant
odor, melts on skin contact, easily washes out of clothing, and may be
stored at room temperature. It's main drawback is that it, like other
oils, it can break down condoms.
A good adult bookstore/sex shop will carry any number of lubricants,
from KY-like gels to flavored or scented oils.
19Q. All my friends can masturbate to orgasm but I am unable to.
What's wrong?
[A contributor provides the answer to this]
I used to be a teacher, and was trusted well enough by some of my
students that they confided in me concerning many problems. One VERY
common concern is 'all my friends masturbate and come but I haven't
been able to!' I have heard this from more than one 13 year old. If
this is the case for you, don't be overly concerned. It is possible
for male sexual maturity to be delayed until 15 or so without being
'abnormal'. However, if puberty has not started by 13 (ie at least
SOME changes to your body) then you should talk to your doctor about
it.
Normal changes include changing voice, growth spurt, oily skin
and hair, developing body odor, rapid gain in muscle mass and strength,
and growth of the testes and penis, as well as growth of facial, pubic,
and other body hair. If some of these things are happening, you are
normal. If none are happening, see a doctor. You may need hormone
supplements or something like that. As long as you see some signs
of sexual development, relax and just play around with what feels
good for you. Try the methods mentioned by other posters, try just
rubbing on a pillow with your clothes on, try soaping up in the
shower, anything else you can think of. When you find something you
like, keep doing it and eventually you will see why masturbation is
so popular!
==========================================================================
Topic 3. Techniques
These are techniques for the actual act of masturbation, but accessory
techniques should not be underestimated. Getting the most out of
masturbation means knowing what your body likes and responds to. To
increase your enjoyment of the act, consider the following: 1) relax.
Do it somewhere where you won't be afraid of being discovered. Invest in
a good bedroom door lock if you need one. 2) Take your time. Just
because you can do it in five minutes doesn't prove anything. Spend the
time to learn what your body--your whole body--responds to and enjoys.
3) Develop a rich fantasy life. And remember that just because you
fantasize something doesn't mean you want it to happen in real life.
Straight men often fantasize of fellating another man, it doesn't make
them gay or even bi-sexual. Gay men can fantasize of vaginal sex without
being straight. The same goes for women. The same goes for almost
anything else. Dreams are safe. They can be controlled entirely by you.
Nobody else will know (or care) unless you tell them. If you start to
feel compelled to act on them, then you may wish to consult a
professional about them.
FOR MEN:
1. Old Reliable
This one is the most common. Take the dominant hand (if you're right
handed, use your right hand), wrap the fingers around the shaft and start
stroking it up and down. Variations can include turning the hand around
in different positions, using different fingers, and stroking different
parts of the penis. The ALT.SEX faq file has a long section on various
hand techniques.
2. Not Quite So Reliable
The same as above, but using your non-dominant hand.
3. The Rubdown
This is simply placing the penis on or against something and then rubbing
the penis against it until orgasm. The simplest is to simply roll over on
your stomach and rub your penis on the mattress. Variations include
placing it between a pillow and mattress, between two pillows, in a pile of
clothes, in the crevasse between the sofa frame and cushions, between the
mattress and box springs, and similar places.
4. The Waterfall
Women use this method often with good results. Place yourself so that your
penis is sprayed by water from the tub faucet, the shower nozzle
(particularly if you have the detachable kind), a garden hose, or other
device. The spray may provide the sensations necessary for orgasm.
* 5. The Belly-scratch
Lay on your back in comfortable position. Lube up your penis (I have no
idea how good this method is without lube) and lay it back against your
stomach. Curl your fingers lightly around the top half of the shaft and
stroke the length of the penis. Don't encircle the penis with your
hand--just rub the top half with your fingers and let the lower half rub
against your belly.
6. Autofellatio
This is the ability of perform fellatio (oral sex) on your own penis. Most
men are unable to do it, but many try and there are a lot of people who
claim to have done it to some extent. The most common method seems to be
to lay on a bed with your head close to a wall. Swing your feet up over
your head and against the wall, as if you were doing a backwards
somersault. Then start walking your feet down the wall until you can
either take the penis into your mouth or you simply can't bend any further.
Most people who report success with this state that it took them some time
and practice to do it, and that they were able to do it over a period of
time (like several weeks). Try some stretching exercises to limber up as
well.
Be careful not to hurt yourself, since it is possible to pull a muscle,
throw your back out, or cause other problems.
Lastly, many people who aren't able to do it (the majority) often state
that ejaculating down into their own mouths was enjoyable. For many men,
semen is an acquired taste, but many report that it is a taste worth
acquiring. I leave that up to you.
More techniques will be described in the following section, Toys and
Things.
FOR WOMEN:
1. Old Reliable
The most common form of female masturbation is to use your fingertips to
stroke and caress your clitoris. The clitoris ('clit' for short) is a
very sensitive part of the vulva, located above the vaginal and urethral
openings. It may be covered by skin or partially exposed, and
may take a bit of exploration to locate. How much, and what kind, of
stimulation to give it varies widely from woman to woman. Beginners
are encouraged just to explore and lightly feel the genital area for
pleasure spots, and stroke and caress such spots as you find them. As
you get to know your body better, learning the best way to stimulate the
clitoris will develop over time.
Clitoral stimulation is usually accompanied by stimulation of other
erogenous (or pleasure-producing) zones, such as the breasts, the
thighs, the vaginal lips and interior, and anywhere else that enjoys
being touched or stroked.
2. The Squeeze
Some women find that they are able to masturbate by squeezing their
thighs together and releasing. The advantage of this is that it can be
done more discretely than by digital manipulation, and frees up the hands
for other things.
3. The Waterfall
Many woman enjoy the stream-of-water technique, most commonly done in a
bathtub with the tub-faucet running. Set the water to a stimulating
temperature (start out with tepid water if you've never done it before.
A burn in the crotch can ruin your whole day) and level of force, and
then position your vagina so that the stream of water splashes on it.
4. Autocunnilingus
Some women are capable of this. It requires even more ability to double
over to reach the area, because women don't have the length of the penis
working in their favor. As above, caution should be given to work up to
it gradually and avoid injury.
==========================================================================
Topic 4. Toys and things
Many people, at one point or another, are going to want to spice up their
masturbation techniques by employing some sort of aid. Here is a rundown
of some of the more popular items, for both men and women.
1. Non-sexual objects
These can be almost anything, depending on the resourcefulness of the
user. The novel PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT, in the first chapter, offers a
variety of examples, like a milk bottle and a bra.
Articles of clothing can be stimulating, especially if they have some
significance in one's life. A bra, panties, or lingerie can be
stimulating if fantasizing over women. Appropriate male clothing
(athletic supporters?) might do the same for women.
Some men enjoy masturbating into socks (also noted in PORTNOY'S
COMPLAINT). Pull it on over the penis and rub. The feeling of the cloth
may be enjoyable, and it catches the ejaculate. Other articles of
clothing, handkerchiefs, towels, may also work.
Feathers and brushes often produce pleasant sensations.
Both men and women are cautioned to consider the ramifications of using a
particular item before trying it. For males, don't stick your penis into
anything that it might get stuck in, or anything that may crimp, cut, or
otherwise hurt your penis. For women, don't insert anything that might
cut, puncture, or tear the vaginal walls, will break (think carefully
about this) or get stuck. Women should also be careful not to introduce
anything into their vaginas that might cause an infection.
2. Food
Some people will masturbate with food. All warnings given for non-sexual
objects apply here as well.
Men will generally want something large and fleshy, that can be hollowed
out to make a tube which can accommodate the erect penis. A cored apple,
orange, grapefruit, or melon is often used. One person suggested cutting
off the end of a banana and hollowing out the inside, leaving the peel
intact. Some kind of tape (like masking tape) should be wound around the
banana several times to add strength and keep the skin from bursting.
Women will generally want fruits or vegetables that are the dimensions of
an erect penis, such as cucumbers, bananas, and carrots.
3. How to make a simulacrum (artificial vagina)
This has been lifted directly from the ALT.SEX.WIZARDS faq file (I hope
nobody minds).
From: "The Contrivor"
Materials:
1. A piece of foam rubber, approximately 4" x 5" x 6-7".
Generally, the softer the foam the better. You may want to try
more than one grade of foam. High quality, soft, foam can be
purchased at a good upholstery fabric store.
2. A latex, non-lubricated condom. The best brand for this
application is "Gold Circle Coin".
3. An O-ring larger than the diameter of the man's penis. The
average penis is about 1 1/2" in diameter, so the typical
O-ring might be a 1 3/4 inch inner diameter. A good hardware
store will have many sizes of O-rings.
4. A water-based personal lubricant. The best is probably
"Astroglide". Look in any drug store near the female
hygiene/contraceptive department.
5. A wooden clothespin.
Construction:
1. Cut a slit through the length of the foam, being very careful
not to cut yourself. I recommend wearing leather gloves and
using an electric turkey carving knife. It can be done with a
sharp knife, but is considerably more difficult. Make the slit
about 2" wide, going through the whole length of the foam. You
want plenty of foam all the way around the slit, so try to
centre it. See the diagram below.
__________________
/. /|
/ . / |
6-7" / . / |
/ . _____ / |
/ . . . / |
/ .___.___.___/_____|
/ / . . / /
------------------- /
| / . . | /
| / . . | /
4" | / ----- | /
| / 2" slit | /
|/ |/
-------------------
5"
Usage:
You may want a wet washcloth available.
1. Unroll the entire condom.
2. Bring the open end of the condom through the O-ring, then
stretch the open end of the condom over the O-ring, the way
that a plastic trash can liner goes on a trash can.
3. Lubricate the inside of the condom with a water-based
lubricant, working the lubricant around to insure that there
are no dry spots. DO NOT USE skin lotion, vaseline, baby oil,
vegetable oil, or any oil based lubricant. Use a water soluble
lubricant such as below:
- Astroglide personal lubricant
- Prepare person lubricant
- HR jelly
- KY jelly
- Today personal lubricant
4. Push the closed end of the condom down into the slit in the
foam. You may find this easier with the wooden clothespin
already clamped onto the tip of the condom.
5. Reach through from the other end of the foam and pull the
closed end of the condom through. Fasten the clothespin on
this end; If the condom is stretched tight a smooth texture
will be achieved, if left looser a rougher texture will be
achieved.
6. Lubricate the penis with the water-based lubricant. If you use
an oil based lubricant, the condom will break.
7. Wipe your hands off on a wet wash cloth.
8. Insert the penis through the O-ring into the foam slit. You
may find this difficult if the inside of the condom is not
fully lubricated, or if the slit is too small. The width of
the slit will determine the fit. You may wish to vary this
width to find the perfect fit. Be careful -- too tight and you
may irritate your penis -- never a good thing!
9. The foam may be moved with hands, or wedged between pillows,
or against a bed. It is recommended that the user experiment
with various speeds, angles, pressures and so on. Slow
rotation is particularly recommended. It is possible to
rotate, flex, change the angle of movement etc., in order to
provide different effects. Also, the amount of lubricant used
and the tension on the condom before attaching the clothespin
will affect the texture and sensation achieved. Also, a drop
or two of honey may be added as a thickening agent, to
increase the amount of friction.
I'm interested in hearing feedback about the simulacrum. Please
post your feedback to alt.sex.wizards [and alt.sex.masturbation --ed.].
- The Contrivor
4. How to make a Tunnel of Love (artificial vagina)
This is generally not as popular as the Simulacrum, but it is a reasonable
alternative. This is all starting-point instructions. Modifications for
a custom-fit and enjoyable toy will probably require modifications.
1. Materials
First, get a plastic tube that's about the length and diameter of
your erect penis. It should be a little longer and perhaps a
1/4" wider. Some experimentation may be necessary. A good
source for these tubes is large jars of spices, like garlic
powder. Any supermarket will have them. Cut off the end of
bottle so that it becomes a hollow tube.
Second, get an old sock (gym socks work well) and cut open the
toe so that it becomes a hollow tube. Pull the sock through and
bend maybe 1/2" of sock back over each end of the tube, like you
would fit a trash-can liner on a trash can. Cut off the excess
sock if the sock is too long.
Third, you need a liner. Condoms can work. Also, a square of
soft plastic (like trash-bags), taped so that it makes a tube.
2. Assembly
Pull the sock through the tube and roll the ends over the tube
ends. Insert your erect penis. The sock acts as a soft liner
and a cushion. Your penis should fit snugly. If it's too
tight, it'll be too difficult to thrust in and out of it. If
it's too sloppy, the friction will be too low to bring you off.
If it turns out to be too sloppy, try pulling another sock
through to make the interior smaller (and provide more padding).
If it's too small, try either a thinner sock or a bigger tube.
Once the correct inner dimension is established, pull the plastic
liner (or condom) through and bend the ends back over the edge of
the tube. Secure each end with rubber bands.
That's it. Lube up the sleeve, lube up your tool, and insert.
Again, some modifications may be necessary.
5. Commercial sleeves and artificial vaginas
These things have really taken off in popularity during the Age of Aids.
Where once there were only a few, now there are dozens, many of which are
just minor variations of a theme. I'm not going to run down brands or
models, but I will describe some of the common variations.
All of these things have one thing in common. They have a sleeve. The
sleeve is what you insert your penis into. Beyond that, there are any
number of gimmicks and add-ons to make things more interesting.
One caveat emptor here: try and get a good look at what you're buying
before you pay. A lot of these things come in boxes that do not allow
you to actually SEE the apparatus. If the store you're buying it from
won't let you open it up and examine it, you should seriously consider
not buying it. If it's good, the company that made it shouldn't have
anything to hide.
Another caveat emptor: be very suspicious of anything that promises a
hands-off, trouble free jerk-off. Most of them will not deliver, unless
you are particularly sensitive to whatever gimmick is working on you.
The real problem is that the human hand is far more sensitive and
stimulating that you might usually think, and most of these devices just
cannot compete.
A. The sleeve
As I said above, just about all male masturbation devices are sleeves.
You lube up the sleeve, lube up your pole, and insert. The cheapest
devices have smooth sleeves which are easy to clean but offer very low
friction and penile stimulation.
Better sleeves have textured interiors, some with bumps, spines, rings or
ribs, to rub against the penis for added stimulation. What works will
vary depending on what you like. Generally, most of these things are
going to look more effective than they feel because the lube is going to
cut the friction way down, and you may not feel the effect as much as you
think. Either way, the better sleeves will have better developed
interiors than the cheaper ones.
B. Vibrators
Some will have vibrators on them, usually one (located at the top)
perhaps a second one located at the bottom (for testicle stimulation).
Vibrators can be fun or they can be an annoyance, or both. They vibrate,
but they tend to do it by a buzzing sensation that you may or may not
enjoy. Generally speaking, vibrators may help but they probably won't
affect you as much as you think. Don't expect a vibrator to give you the
completely hands-off masturbation that some promise.
C. Pumps
Some sleeves come with pumps--a plastic tube and bulb. You insert
yourself and pump up the sleeve around you for a tighter fit. This may
be a welcome feature, and it gives one a squeezing sensation, but (as
with the vibrators) is probably not going to be enough just by itself.
D. Warmth features
Some sleeves are made so that they can be warmed up, either by pouring in
warm water into a jacket, or by simply immersing the device in warm water
and letting it heat up. Warmth is a fine thing in these devices,
especially on initial contact, but most of sleeves will warm to ambient
temperature just from being handled.
E. Facades
It amazes me how many of these things have a special end that is made to
look special--either like a vagina or a mouth. Some of the real
no-frills sleeves come with entries that are modeled to look like mouths
or vaginas. Don't be fooled. The mouth/vagina end won't be doing any of
the work. Look at the sleeve, because that's what you'll be rubbing
on. If the sleeve is cheap and featureless, then having a shell that
looks like a real vagina won't help at all.
F. Vacuums
Some sleeves have pumps that suck the air out (almost always
hand-operated), and usually promise a fellatio effect. Suction by itself
is generally not enough.
6. Dolls
Often called "party" or "love" dolls, these are usually inflatable
balloons that are designed to look like women (some are designed to look
like men). They are made out of latex plastic and resemble inflatable
pool toys. They tend to have a strong latex smell that will remain with
the doll until you wash it (probably more than once). Some dolls are
not inflatable--they are "solid." I have not seen a solid doll so I am
not sure how they are constructed. I have heard that some are built to
be packed with foam or sponge rubber. The advantage of a solid doll is
that it won't burst or deflate. But an inflatable doll has the advantage
of being easy to store in a fairly small bag or box, and they
inflate/deflate easily. Dolls that require much prior assembly may not
be a good idea, since you may not be in the mood to use it when you are
done.
Do-it-yourselfers may try to make (a superior) one from scratch. A
suggested method would be to find a dress form--the kind seamstresses'
use to tailor clothes. They sometimes show up fairly cheaply at swap
meets and thrift shops. Set the dimensions the way you like (probably a
bit smaller) and glue a thin layer of sponge rubber over it to smooth it
out. Then cover that with a suitable material (nylon? cotton? satin?).
Make the arms and legs out of sponge rubber, or see if you can find parts
from a mannequin. For a head, use a standard wig holder, which are
shaped to resemble a real head. Add a wig and paint a face. Attach the
Simulacrum (described above). Add anything else you see fit. (If anyone
actually does something like this, please post an article about it to
ALT.SEX.MASTURBATION).
The same caveat emptor apply here as they do with artificial vaginas
noted above. Prices for dolls begin at around $15 to $20 and top
off around $100. Most of them (especially the more expensive models)
come in boxes that give no indication of what the actual doll looks like.
Almost any picture on the box will be a drawing or photograph of a real
woman. Unless you are willing to gamble your money, ask the store you
are buying it from to open the box so you can see what you are getting.
Most reputable places should let you do this, as long as you don't harm
the contents. Be wary of dolls sold in catalogs where the actual doll is
not pictured (which is 90% of the time), and make sure they have a good
return policy in case you are disappointed.
A. The basic doll
Dolls are pretty simple, whether they are cheap or expensive. Basically
they are a plastic, inflatable form with a sleeve located where the
vagina would be (male-dolls have a dildo where the penis would be). The
sleeve is usually the same latex plastic as the doll skin, shaped into
a tube. It offers very little friction when used with lubricant (and
lubricant is a must), so most people will probably not care for it.
Don't expect the doll to look too much like a real person. On cheap
dolls especially, you will see the seams where the plastic pieces were
bonded together. Rounded areas (like the head) have a ripple along the
seams. The toes and fingers will probably not be individually formed.
Cheap dolls will have a face drawn on them, but no built-up features.
The breasts will likewise be drawn on. The head will be painted a
particular color (yellow for blonde, for instance) to indicate hair.
There will probably be only one sleeve, located where the vagina would
be.
B. French and Greek features
Some dolls come with "french" and/or "greek" features. French means
that
it has a sleeve located in the mouth for simulating fellatio. Greek
means that it has a sleeve in the rear for anal sex.
A special note here: most dolls are modeled so that they are lying
down, ready for vaginal sex using the missionary position. Their knees
don't bend so anal sex would have to be done close to the same way
(doggie style is much more difficult). Fellatio can also be awkward.
C. Life-like features
More expensive dolls may have built-up features, such as breasts and a
face. The breasts will vary depending on the quality of the doll, but
good ones will have solid-filled latex breasts with formed nipples. The
face will have built-up lips, a nose, and eyes.
Some dolls comes with wigs, which are either molded on or can be slipped
on.
D. "Action"
Some dolls come with vibrators. Usually it'll be something like a
egg-shaped vibrator with a battery powered control unit. You insert the
egg up the anal sleeve and feel the vibrations in the vaginal sleeve.
How effective this is depends on your sensitivity to the vibrator action.
E. Talking
Some dolls supposedly talk dirty. Expect this to be a cassette or a
cheap record.
F. Clothes
Some dolls come with clothing--usually lingerie or pantyhose. If the
doll is highly priced for this feature, consider buying the clothing
elsewhere. If you're embarrassed or don't really know the size, ask a
salesperson and say it's for a gift. Lingerie salespeople are used to
men who are embarrassed and don't know anything about women's clothes.
Unless you tell them, they won't know (nor care) why you are buying the
clothes.
G. Weight ratings
Most of the more expensive dolls have a weight rating on the side, which
is how much weight the doll can expect to carry before it pops. Heavier
rated dolls may be more durable, which can save the trouble of patching
them. But unless you really expect to put a lot of weight on the doll
(even heavy men will probably put a lot of their weight on their knees
and arms), I would advise against worrying too much about the weight
ratings.
H. Other
There are a variety of other gimmicks and features. The best policy is
simply to look in the box and see what you get, but barring that--be
skeptical. If a doll promises something special, ask yourself what it
would be that would fulfil the promise--especially something cheap.
7. Vibrators
Women have long used vibrators for masturbation, but some men (both
straight and gay) are finding uses for them as well. Vibrators generally
come in three basic styles: the first is the massager, and clamps onto
the back of your hand. Women may enjoy it, but most men will find it
unsuitable because it's hard to stroke the penis with the dead weight of
the motor on the back of the hand. The second style is the wand
type--shaped like a tube with a rounded end, or like a dildo. These are
generally lighter, can be battery powered (no cords to get in the way)
and can be inserted. The last kind is hand-held unit with attachments
that can be added onto the end of it.
Women may find the buzzing of the vibrator is enjoyable, either when held
against the clitoris or inserted into the vagina or both. It can also be
used to stimulate other parts of the body.
Men may also find the sensations enjoyable--on various places around the
penis, the scrotum, the anus, or anywhere else on the body. Vibrators
with a collection of attachments may be particularly favored by men,
since some have cups on the ends for the penis head, and attachments that
may feel good against other places.
Vibrators have a growing acceptance in society, and it is becoming easier
tAo find them. Sex shops will have the widest variety, but department
stores often stock them as "personal massagers." If you're embarrassed
to be looking at them, don't be. Vibrators do have non-sexual uses, and
many people do use them for sore muscles as well. But doing double duty
is a nice advantage.
8. Vacuums
Vacuums are controversial. While they are available on the market as sex
toys, there are numerous complaints and horror stories of problems that can
occur while using them. Extreme care and caution should be followed when
using these devices, and avoiding them entirely may be for the best.
Vacuums tend to be used by men. There are generally two kinds of
vacuums, powered and non-powered. The non-powered ones tend to be glass
tubes with a gasket on the end, and a tube coming out the other with a
hand pump attached. The man inserts his penis into the gasketed end and
forms a seal, then uses the hand pump to create suction. These items are
generally sold as penis enlargers (not discussed here), but are often
sold as masturbation devices as well. Whether or not you respond to
suction alone is a matter of personal enjoyment, but most men need
something more.
Powered vacuums have a motor that does the work. Sex shops sell these--a
hand-held vacuum unit with a sleeve on the end. Between the sleeve and
the suction, it becomes a powered masturbation device. Many men, again,
do not find the suction effect to be particularly enjoyable, and some
toss the motor and keep the sleeve.
Women may enjoy the suction action of a vacuum, by using a cannister
vacuum (as opposed to an upright) and using the hose to direct suction
to errogenous zones like the clitoris or nipples. I have not heard of
any medical horror stories regarding insertion of the hose or
attachment into a body orifice, but it is likely not a good idea.
Caution should be used whenever you use a motor or moving parts as part
of a masturbation device, since if you catch your penis in the motor, you
may end up getting hurt. Small rechargeable vacuums, like the DUSTBUSTER
for instance, have a little fan attached to the motor, and it can wreak
havoc with sensitive parts.
==========================================================================
Topic 5. Adult Movies (X-rated)
This is a short list of x-rated videos that feature masturbation. It is
not meant to be complete, just a starting point and a listing of some
that may be better than normal. (At the moment, I'm listing several that
are marginal. As I find out about better ones, I'll scroll off the
others.)
GOOD VIBRATIONS I and II
These videos are a guide to masturbation with vibrators. The first
concerns masturbation by women alone and contains about six scenes
involving masturbation with different sorts of vibrators: Wand and
coil types, phallic sorts, etc. The quality of the scenes varies from
good to excellent. The second concerns the use of vibrators by
(heterosexual) couples and contains two scenes. In the first, a man and
a woman use wand-type vibrators to masturbate one another; in the second,
a man and woman use a vibrator during intercourse. The quality here is
excellent throughout.
AUTO-EROTIC PRACTICES
Starring Veri Knotty, Vanessa Del Rio, Amber Hunt, Samantha Fox, Serena,
Suzanne McBaine, Marlene Willoughby, and Jean Jennings
Very Knotti hosts this compilation of true female-masturbation videos.
There are several segments of women alone, using fingers, dildos,
vibrators, and vegetables. The scenes are fairly long and range in
quality. They're all marred, in my opinion, by "cum shots." At the end
of the scene, the featured girl will pull out whatever she's been pumping
and a puddle of white, frothy goo that's supposed to pass for semen
will ooze out. If that doesn't bother you, then this one is actually
fairly good. (Special note: the Samantha Fox in this film is NOT the
rock singer Samantha Fox...)
DEEP INSIDE DIRTY DEBUTANTES [series]
[no description]
BETTY DODSON VIDEO (Title unknown)
Dodson is famous for her "learn to masturbate" seminars and books (see
SEX FOR ONE in the books section below). Supposedly she has a video out,
but no information has been found to include here.
MISC
The X-rated films of Andrew Blake--_Night Trips_ I and II,
_House of Dreams_, _Secrets_, _Hidden Obsessions_, and a new one
whose title I do not know, all contain quite wonderful scenes
of women masturbating, sometimes alone, sometimes in the context
of other sex acts. The films are also of extremely high quality
in general.
========================================================================
Topic 6. Mainstream movies (R-rated)
This is a short list of movies that have masturbation scenes. Obviously
the scenes are not going to be as explicit as the adult movies listed above.
BODY DOUBLE (1982)
Melanie Griffith as Holly Body, porn actress famous for her masturbation
scenes.
DANGEROUS OBSESSION (1989) (Italian)
[no description]
FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH (1983)
Judge Reinhold strokes away on the toilet as he fantasizes about his
sister's best friend, played by Phoebe Cates. A topless scene by Cates
accompanies.
9 1/2 WEEKS (1986)
Kim Bassinger watches a slide show.
THE SAILOR WHO FELL FROM GRACE WITH THE SEA (1976)
Sarah Miles does it while her son secretly watches.
TATTOO (1981)
Maud Adams is locked in a room after Bruce Dern tattoos her body (near
the end of the movie). A fair amount of nudity from the beautiful Ms.
Adams.
========================================================================
Topic 7. A Bibliography of Resources
Contributor Richard Lovel of Compuserve has kindly provided his
bibliography of resources of masturbation. Rather than break it up to fit
the old structures, the bibliography is printed here in original form.
A BIBLIOGRAPHY OF MASTURBATION
compiled by
Richard Lovel
(mail to: 75216,2230 on CIS)
updated 8/20/93
Scientific / Scholarly
"Sexual Excitement, Sexual Peace", Suzanne & Irving Sarnoff (M.
Evans, New York, 1979). Good overall study of masturbation.
Reissued as "Masturbation and Adult Sexuality"
"Sexual Self-Stimulation", ed. R. E. L. Masters (Sherbourne
Press, Los Angeles, 1967). Excellent collection of
psychological, sociological and historical essays. Includes good
review of the "treatment" of masturbators in earlier times.
"Human Autoerotic Practices", ed. Manfred F. DeMartino (Human
Sciences Press, New York, 1979). Excellent collection as above.
"Masturbation from Infancy to Senescence", ed. Irwin M. Marcus
(International Universities Press, New York, 1975). Yet another
collection, more psychology-oriented.
"Studies in the psychology of sex", Havelock Ellis. See
especially the case-histories in the appendices.
Literary / Historical
"The Secret Vice Exposed!", ed Charles Rosenberg, in series "Sex,
Marriage and Society" (Arno Press, New York, 1974). Reprints of
historical anti-masturbation tracts and medical writings.
Includes writings by Tissot, the originator of the 19th century
medical hysteria over masturbation.
"The Other Victorians", Steven Marcus (Meridian, New York, 1977)
Study of pornography in Victorian England, many references to
masturbation.
"The Durable Fig Leaf", Mark Strage (William Morrow, New York,
1980). Historical and literary study of the penis, with several
references to masturbation.
"Confessions", Jean J. Rousseau. Rousseau was perhaps history's
most famous masturbator after Onan, and his "Confessions" relates
several incidents.
The Current Scene
"Men Loving Themselves", Jack Morin (Down There Press,
P.O.zBoxz2086, Burlingame, CA 94010, 1980). Photo and word
essays on male masturbation. Personal experiences.
"Men in Love", Nancy Friday (Delacorte Press, New York, 1980).
Anthology of male sexual fantasies, many relating to
masturbation.
"Thy Neighbor's Wife", Gay Talese (Doubleday, New York, 1980).
Essay on contemporary American sexual mores; ch.z16 covers
massage parlor masturbation.
"Singular Pleasures" by Harry Matthews. (Turnaround). "An
extraordinary miniaturist epic, detailing 61 acts of masturbation
- one to a page - dotted across the world, a single-handed global
tour of male & female, young & old, from Zaire to Seoul, Glasgow
to Zizanga, Paris to Perth. The tools change - a dildo, of
course, but also a rugby ball, a turkey-baster, a municipal
transit-launch, a hole in the snow, a dentist's drill. Stubbornly
constant, though, is the flesh on which the objects & passions
work, &, compellingly, the tolerant, humorous, unshockable gaze
of the narrator. Shocking, innocent, & bizarrely likable in its
lucid acceptance of human need."
How-To / Self-Help
"Liberating Masturbation", Betty Dodson (Bodysex Designs, New
York, 1974). Personal experiences of a masturbation advocate.
"Selflove and Orgasm", Betty Dodson (Betty Dodson, POzBoxz1933,
Murray Hill Station, New York, NY 10156, 1983). Updated version
of the same.
"Sex for One", Betty Dodson (Harmony Books, 225 Park Ave. South,
New York, NY 10003, 1987). Most recently updated version of the
same. Recommended highly!
"Good Vibrations", Joani Blank (Down There Press, 1982). Guide
to selection and use of vibrators.
"For Yourself", Lonnie Barbach (Doubleday, New York, 1975)
Women's guide to orgasm, using masturbation as therapy.
"Masturbation, Tantra, and Self Love", Margo Woods (Mho and Mho
Works, Box 33135 San Diego, CA 92103, 1981). Guidebook on
masturbation as meditation.
"The Art of Marathon Masturbation", Karl Adams (Helios
Publication, Chatsworth, CA 91311, 1979). Mostly pornographic, in
a "sex-manual" style.
"Joys of Masturbation", Hans Richter (Merchandise for Mailers,
Palm Springs, CA, 1982). Half factual, half pornographic. Lots
of photos, erotic content. Both male and female subjects.
"ESO: How You and Your Lover Can Give Each Other Hours of
Extended Sexual Orgasm" by Alan P. Brauer, M.D., and Donna J.
Brauer (Warner Books). Chapter III has some good masturbation
techniques.
"Any Man Can" by DR. William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian (St.
Martin's Press). Chapters V through IX cover aspects of
masturbation.
"Solo Sex: Advanced Techniques", by Dr. Harold Litten (1990,
Factor Press, 6920 Airport Boulevard, Box 117-100, Mobile,
Alabama 36608) "A scientific, 'devotional' text by the world's
leading apostle of autoeroticism" ... "Written for any man who
would like to become the true sex connoisseur".
Erotica
"The Governess", Miles Underwood (Collectors Publications,
Covina, CA and also Grove Press). Modern fiction in Victorian
style about a young habitual masturbator placed in the charge of
a strict governess. Well written and entertaining. Probably no
longer in print.
"Solo Flights - the pleasures of masturbation", (Arlington House,
225 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10003, 1986). Slick, high-
production value photo book of women in the act of masturbation.
B. B. Publications, P.O. Box 1033, Grover City, CA 93433.
Publishes series of spanking-related short story anthologies.
A trilogy from the author Brian Aldiss: The hand-reared boy. 1970
A soldier erect; or further confessions of the hand reared boy.
1971. A rude awakening. 1978
Video Tapes (Pornographic)
Betty Dodson / Self Loving: Video portrait of a women's sexuality
seminar." Documents one of Betty Dodson's famous seminars. Excellent,
authentic. Quotes from the jacket: "We are ten women ... interacting
in the nude ... engaging in pleasure ritual designed to enhance sexual
self knowledge ... experiment with different sexual positions ... using
electric vibrators ... a celebration of self loving filled with authentic
orgasms." Available from Good Vibrations (see resources) or from Betty
Dodson / Box 1933 Murray Hill / New York, NY 10156. RECOMMENDED HIGHLY!
"Joys of Masturbation - the video", video tape. (MFM Video).
Shares title only with Hans Richter book. Solo and mutual
masturbation by women and men. Aimed at heterosexual audience.
"Old Reliable". Series of video tapes of men masturbating.
Aimed at gay audience. 1626 N. Wilcox #107, Hollywood, CA 90028
Masturbation: Four Men, Edan Programs, 2370 Market Street, P.O.
Box 99, San Francisco, CA 94114
Masturbation: Five Women, Edan Programs, 2370 Market Street, P.O.
Box 99, San Francisco, CA 94114
H&S Sales specializes in big-breast videos and magazines, R and
XXX rated. You can write for a catalogue at PO Box 126, College
Point, NY 11356.
Gent magazine offers big-breast videos. Write Suite 600, 2600
Douglas Rd., Coral Gables, FL 33134.
Another source is Napali Video Productions, PO Box 15127, St.
Louis MO 63110
Resources
Good Vibrations, 1210 Valencia St, San Francisco CA 94110. Small
store run by Joani Blank specializing in vibrators and other
sexual paraphernalia. Caters to women, but friendly to male
customers. Has mail order, catalog. Recommended highly!
Down There Press, P.O. Box 2086, Burlingame, CA 94010. Small
publishing house specializing in sex-related subjects. Run by
Joani Blank.
Sandmutopia Supply CO, Box 6592-BB, Chicago IL 606680. Or 285
Shipley St., San Francisco CA 94107, (415) 978-5377