Dr.Joe's Data Base

Premature ejaculation annihilated:
problem:

Do you feel disappointed and frustrated each time you make love? Is sex
over almost before it began? Do you want to make it last longer, enjoy it
more, fulfill your partner and yourself? Then, this guide is for you!

What is premature ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is when you ejaculate before you want to. It is not a
question of time but of control. The notion of premature ejaculation is
very subjective. Ejaculation occurring after 2 minutes of penetration may
be considered by some couples as perfectly OK and by others as totally
unacceptable. Studies in the United States show that the majority of
American males ejaculate after 2 ½ minutes of penetration.

Does it happen only to me?

One man in 3 ejaculates quicker than he wants to and the vast majority of
men ejaculate sometimes too quickly. When you suffer from premature
ejaculation, you are often ashamed of your lack of control. So you avoid
making love. Your partner believes she is not sexy anymore, she is not
turning you on. Resentment builds up. You are both unhappy.

Is my problem physiological?

Certainly not. You have an erection, you ejaculate, you are functioning
like a man should function.

How long should I last to satisfy my partner?

You don’t need to hold back at all. You can perfectly satisfy your partner
through oral sex or masturbation before or after ejaculating.
Unfortunately, we all have unrealistic expectations about sex. We believe
that a penis should be ten feet tall, hard as rock and able to perform all
night. We also believe that sex equals intercourse. Kissing, caressing,
oral sex, mutual masturbation are all OK, but they are inferior to
penetration. These myths ruin our sexual experience. For example, the
majority of women (over 75%) do not have an orgasm through penetration.
They need direct stimulation of their clitoris. If penetration lasts for
hours on end, they will have a sore vagina. But they will not have an
orgasm. Lets not forget that 99.9% of our sex acts are for recreation, not
for procreation. We can have pleasure in many different ways. They are not
superior or inferior to penetration. They are simply different.

Why am I unable to control my ejaculation?

If you were able to control your ejaculation and have lost this control, it
is because you are afraid of ejaculating too quickly. Let me give you an
example. One evening, you are tired or stressed. So, when you make love,
you ejaculate rapidly. The next time you want to make love, you start
asking yourself: will I be able to last longer? Will I be able to perform
better? This anxiety makes you ejaculate even quicker. You are caught in a
vicious circle of failure to perform => performance anxiety => failure to
perform, etc.

Why have I never been able to control my ejaculation?

If you have never been able to control your ejaculation, you simply have
never learned to do so. Masters and Johnson, the famous American sex
experts, believe that when young men start to masturbate or make love, they
do so very rapidly. They are afraid of getting caught or may feel guilty.
So they train themselves to ejaculate rapidly. Or, if you practice
withdrawal as a contraceptive method, your penis is not getting used to
stay inside a hot and moist vagina. Other experts believe that men with
premature ejaculation are very sensitive to erotic stimulation. Their
advice is to decrease the sensibility of the penis by using a condom or an
anaesthetic spray or even to imagine your mother in law watching you having
sex!

Does it work?

No. It only ruins your pleasure. The mere fact of spraying your penis may
trigger your ejaculation. And during penetration some of the anaesthetic
will get in contact with your partner’s vagina. This will delay her orgasm!

How can I control my ejaculation?

Drink one glass of wine before having sex. Alcohol may relax you just
enough to delay your ejaculation. Or masturbate a few hours before making
love. Your will then take longer to ejaculate. Better still, you can learn
to tolerate long periods of pleasure without ejaculating by learning to
recognise the feelings that precede your orgasm. There is a series of
exercises that will teach you how to control your ejaculation. But to start
with, you and your partner must agree not to have intercourse while doing
these exercises.

What, no more sex for months?

I am not saying no more love making. On the contrary, you can do anything
you want. Kissing, cuddling, hugging, mutual masturbation, oral sex,
exchanging your fantasies, using your imagination. Everything except
penetration. It will help you discover your sensuality and wonderful new
ways of making love. It will also break up the vicious circle of fear of
failure and failure to perform. No intercourse means no fear of failure.
You start to really enjoy sex!

Your point of no return

If you want to be able to enjoy long periods of intense pleasure without
ejaculating, you need to discover your point of no return. Masturbate and
concentrate on your feelings. There is a point at which you will not be
able to control your ejaculation anymore. At that point, as hard as you
try, you cannot stop yourself from ejaculating. You will have to ejaculate
because ejaculation is a reflex: your brain sends messages through your
spinal cord to your sex organs and orders ejaculation. This is your point
of no return.

How can I discover my point of no return?

Imagine that the scale of pleasure runs from 1 to 10: 1 you are just
starting to feel aroused; 10 you are having an orgasm and you ejaculate.
Therefore 9, the point just before your orgasm, is your point of no return.

Your magic point

Once you have discovered your point of no return, do not to let your
arousal reach this point: stop moving, change position or vary the way you
are making love. 8, the point at which you can enjoy pleasure as long as
you like without ejaculating, is your magic point.

The exercises

Now all you need to do is a series of 4 exercises. You can do them on your
own or with your partner, if she is willing to cooperate. The aim of these
exercises is always the same: to enable you to control your ejaculation for
periods of 15 minutes. Resist going to the next exercise before being able
to hold your ejaculation during 15 minutes and on 3 consecutive sessions
(on different days of course!).

Exercise 1

Masturbate. When you reach your magic point 8, stop for a few minutes. Let
your arousal and erection subside a little. Then start masturbating again.
Do this a few times. Masturbate, stop, masturbate. At the end of 15 minutes
you can ejaculate, if you wish to do so. Repeat this exercise until you are
able to enjoy your arousal without ejaculating for 15 minutes and on 3
separate consecutive sessions.

Exercise 2

The second exercise is slightly more difficult. Basically, you are doing
the same thing as in exercise one: masturbate, get to your magic point 8,
let your erection subside, masturbate again. But this time, put some
Vaseline or K Y jelly on your penis before masturbating. Your sensations
will be more intense, therefore more difficult to control. Your aim is
always the same: enjoying your arousal without ejaculating for 15 minutes
and on 3 separate consecutive sessions. Never use Vaseline or oil on a
condom. These products damage the rubber.

Exercise 3
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Exercise 3 is slightly more difficult than exercise two. Masturbate without
Vaseline. When your reach your magic point 8, instead of stopping continue
to masturbate but vary the strokes: slower, differently. Your aim is always
the same: enjoying your arousal without ejaculating for 15 minutes and on 3
separate consecutive sessions.

Exercise 4

This exercise simulates what happens during intercourse. You masturbate in
the same way as in exercise 3. You do not stop when you reach your magic
point 8, but you vary the stokes. And this time, you use a lubricant. Your
aim: enjoying your arousal without ejaculating for 15 minutes and on 3
separate consecutive sessions.

Once I have done all these exercises am I ready to make love?

You are almost ready! The first few times use ‘the woman on top’ position,
as it allows a better control of your ejaculation. Lay on your back and ask
your partner to sit on top of you. Once you have a firm erection, put your
penis in her vagina, your hands on her thighs and guide her movements. Ask
her to stop moving when you reach your point 8. She can start moving again
when your arousal has subsided a little. Your aim: being able to tolerate
penetration during 15 minutes without ejaculating. If in the beginning you
are not able to hold for 15 minutes, don’t worry. Repeat this exercise as
often as you need to. And remember: practice makes perfect!

Will I always have to make love in that position?

No! Once you are in control of your ejaculation, you can make love in any
position. Remember however that ejaculatory control is most difficult with
‘man on top’ position. So, keep it for last!

I wish you a terrific sex life!