Headline News 12:37 -- 05/19/1997
Gates: 'I Don't Make a Move without Ponneganti'
Microsoft's Bill Gates revealed in a press conference yesterday that his best business decisions came after clandestine meetings with an adviser whose existence has been kept secret until now.
"I would have lost my shirt a dozen times if it weren't for Ramesh Ponneganti," Gates said. "Ramesh is my brain, my conscience, my heart. It's high time the world found out about Ramesh."
According to Gates, Ponneganti persuaded him to name Microsoft's graphical interface "Windows" rather than "Picture Thingys." Ponneganti also quietly polished Gates' public image by introducing him to the concept of matching socks.
"Chairman Bill is a generous genius," said Ponneganti, a highly respected Software Engineer in tcs, San Francisco, California. "We get together over a cherry Coke every so often, but I'm no Wizard of Oz to his Tin Man. We just kick ideas around."
Little is known about Ponneganti's private life. Neighbors say Ponneganti is polite but quiet and keeps the shades drawn day and night.
"I really am just trying to be considerate," Ponneganti said. "I don't think my neighbors want to see me parading around in my LEATHER JACKET."
Hanks to get $17 million for "Apollo" sequel
Tom Hanks will earn at least $17 million for starring in the sequel to Apollo XIII, which will open next Christmas. The Touchhome Pictures film, titled "Apollo XIII II," will tell the story of a secret space safari to seek signs of past life on the moon. Hanks and his fellow astronauts, including Sigourney Weaver and Johnny Quest, will camp out on the dark side of the moon and discover things far more scary than rocks and old golf balls.
Congratulations, Ramesh Ponneganti! Someone cared enough to create this special story just for you.
Who did it? Umm, OK, it was Ayesha.
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