February 26, 2001

Went looking for a leather jacket this weekend without any luck. I guess I waited too late for the stores so while I was browsing the net I thought of my favorite online store, Lands’ End and they have the perfect jacket for me so I’m going to go ahead and pick that up plus a spring jacket and a chamois spring sweater. Whoa! Talk about splurging for myself, huh? Then I was browsing the cyberdiet website and I read a post about a menu plan cookbooks by the American Diabetes Association so I ordered those online too. I really want to start cooking more at home with some variety and the posts were very favorable about the books. I will keep you all updated on the cookbooks to see if they are really good. They sound great though.

I just ran my nutrition for the day on dietwatch and I’m high on my saturated fat and sodium. That is partly why I am buying the cookbooks because it seems as if I am always high on those areas. It seems like they should be lower than it is. I know I blew that saturated section on the cheese I had today. I had some left over chili so that explained the high sodium and the cheese explained the high sat. fat. So I have to work on these areas.

I’m going to get out of Grand Rapids for the weekend and go visit my sister and my brother in law in Metro-Detroit. I was going to leave on Friday but now I have to bowl for Big Brothers/Big Sister program on Friday night…Hey if you would like to pledge me some money…I will be happy to send you a tax deductible slip and a 50 cent coupon off of Wendy’s (not that you would want a fast food coupon). I’ll be collecting money until next Monday so email me if you are interested in sponsoring me:) Otherwise, I will be stuck with paying $50 to bowl :( . So I will head out there to just get a break from the normal routine on the weekend.

Damn windstorm this weekend tore off the shingles of the roof and scratched the hell out of my vehicle. Called the apartment company and they said it was considered an act of god. I told them it was an act of poor craftsmanship! Gosh, I want out of this over priced hellhole bad. I just hate this apartment. Anyways, have a great night and email me if you want to sponsor me. Take care all-Kellie

February 20, 2001

Last week was hectic! Whew, thank god it’s over with. I must say I was freakin out last week because my TOM was late about 6 days. Hell, I was beginning to think I was pregnant until I went out to get a test. Luckily, I was not and TOM showed up on day 7 of a late period but that’s enough to freak anyone out. I’ve never been that late before, usually my body is like a watch where menstruation would occur on the usual date but this moth was a huge exception to the rule. I think it’s probably stress related. I’ve been stressed out for the last couple of months with relationships, family, health, work, and life. It’s just minor stress but all that combined adds up. I’ve been stressed about my family because my parents moved from there big home and are in the process of moving to their smaller home in the back. They moved to my aunt’s home temporarily until the new house is completed and there is no phone (the aunt turned it off when they went to Florida for the winter) and it will be another month before they get a phone. Plus, someone hit my mom's dog Pup Pup so she was killed and my mom is upset. So it stresses me out that I cannot call them and I’m worried because my mom and dad are sick and it appears that they are not getting better and they refuse to go to the doctor. Then my little sister Carrie is having some female problems where she is having constant pelvic pain and she has to go to a specialist because her gyn can no longer help her. Then me…my panic attacks are getting under control but I was freaked out last month because I was having them so frequently. Plus, I suspect I have high blood pressure (which could of course be from my obesity) but it’s been running 145/94, which is high on both ends. Work is stressful because I’ve had to run around like an idiot for the last couple of weeks and my schedule is late. I’ve been getting home about 7 at night lately and I’m just plain old tired. Then I start to wonder is this life? Is this what I’m set up to do? This is boring…My life is boring but that’s what I’m choosing right now. I have no spark of excitement. My routine is usual…I need some spice! I need to go out, have fun, meet people but I’m choosing not too. This weekend it was my turn to go to Shawn’s. I ended up falling asleep at 10:00 after watching a movie and Saturday I went to bed at 9:45 because I was bored because there was nothing to do at his apartment. Argh! Oh, listen to me whine! Whine! Whine!

Well, I bought me a scale at Wal-Mart and I’m going to weigh myself as soon as TOM leaves. I’m just wondering how much I weigh right now. I need to fine-tune this diet regimen so I can start losing again. At least I’m still exercising still. My treadmill is a godsend! I’ve been using it regularly Sun – Thurs. I’m not seeing any difference except a mental difference where you feel accomplished after getting off of it. Now that’s a good feeling.

Inside the web is now unable to support the message board anymore so I will have to hunt down a message board. They stated that they are unable to get any sponsors because of the dot.com busts lately. It’s amazing to see all those business lately having trouble. Thank good for ebay or I would be lost. Speaking of Ebay, I put some new Elisabeth cropped pants, a skirt, and a dress (all new with tags) up this weekend so check it out if you are looking for some brand new pants or other items I have up. I go in stages with ebay though. There will be weeks where I will put a ton of stuff up and other weeks, I will stay away. It actually takes a lot of time to get stuff posted…taking pictures, editing pics, posting, measuring, and inspecting the item, etc. but at least now I cam say I have a hobby! Take care all- Kellie

February 13, 2001

Everything is going good with the diet. I’m going to wait until next week to weigh in, which could be a good or bad idea because I’m curious to see if there is any progress going on but I’m still afraid to get back on it. Hopefully I will be down a few pounds. I’m continuing to walk on the treadmill and watch what I eat on a regular basis but one area I need to work on is the carbs…I know I am eating too many of them! Since I have been getting home late at night for the past two nights, I am eating mainly pasta dishes. I hear that is bad. I made some low-fat spinach roll ups last night and I had them yesterday and today for lunch. Then tonight, I had some moo-goo gai pan but I rinsed off the stuff to get the broth out and if there was any oil. They seem to steam the veggies but they have a clear broth so better off safe than sorry. Though, I ate too much tonight. I had two cups of that and minimal rice. I have to cut that out…I think I’m going to use diet watch again. I love that site and it helps with the weightloss tremendously.

No special thing for Valentines will occur tomorrow. I told Shawn, I am tired of spending money on him…first Christmas, then his birthday, now another holiday? I think not! I’ll give him a card but my pocket book is going to be tight for a little while. Speaking of my pocket book, I think I am going to break my lease early and move across the street to the other apartment complex because I’m sick and tired of paying this enormous rent. I will have to pay the place about $450 but it is so worth it getting out of here because the rent across the street is $200 cheaper…why not leave this money pit! So I think I will move around May 1st, maybe I will be happier over there.

I found out one of my clients has head lice again. I just had a home visit with the family last week and now she has lice. Argh, I hope I don’t get it. I found myself just itching from the notion today. The family has had it off and on but they’ve been safe for 4 months…now it’s back. The joys of being a homebased family therapist. When I’m not avoiding head lice, I’m having an allergeric reaction to someone’s animals, I dodge the jumping/barking/mean dogs, and I put up with the chronically sick people who cough and sneeze all over. Believe or not, I haven’t gotten sick so far! Know I just have to not get the head lice…wish me luck :P Take care all- Kellie

February 7, 2001

I’m dog dead tired! This week has been a long workweek. When I woke up on Monday morning, I was prepared for this. I thought oh *hit it’s Monday. My catch phrase this week is “Is it Friday yet?” I was kind of hoping that we will get this ice storm so maybe then we would have a snow day tomorrow but as of 10:45, nothing is coming down…A girl can dream can’t she? Tuesday I got off of work at 8:15, made it to my place at 9:00, made dinner, ate at 10 and had digestive problems at 12:30…that will be the last time that I will go to bed on a full stomach! Needless to say, I skipped exercising yesterday but I was back on the treadmill today. I got home at 6:45 tonight though I started work at 8:00. So I think I’m going to flex my hours in the morning and go in at 10:30 because I have a home visit at 6:00 (yuck! What was I thinking?) The job is going great. My case load is low right now but I’m running a lot for them…lots of service linking right now…calling around to other agency for them to help out with basic needs. I would see 99% of my “consumers” are the lower socioeconomic status so it’s really eye opening to me because people out there in this world are really poor but they are extremely resourceful too. The only downfall to the job right now is the amount of daily paperwork that is due. Almost every little darn conversation needs a note on it and that takes a lot of time and the notes add up. Who would have thought as a social worker/therapist, I would have been sitting in front of the computer for most of the time? Oh, well it is good to have paperwork because it does cover your but for some things.

I’ve been eating pretty good lately and drinking lots of water. No complaints from this end whatsoever but I noticed I am eating a lot of pasta/bread products so I will need to cut that out a little bit. I need a good balance. The treadmill is doing okay. I’m only walking a mile and a quarter a day but that is better than nothing. Oh, I’m tired..so I better be getting off to bed, take care all-Kellie

February 5, 2001

So what’s with the new main page? Well I got tired of that one…I liked it but I wanted something new. I wanted something to express my ups and downs of weight (photo wise). So I changed it…though it’s still a work in progress.

I was a good girl this weekend. There was only one less than desired moment were I ate a lot at the time but points wise, I made up for it in the long run because I balanced my points for the rest of the day. I have been watching what I am eating and I’m exercising Sunday – Thursday on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Things are falling into place and it feels good to be back!

Onto personal stuff…our economy is scary…factories, little manufacturing shops here in Michigan are dropping like flies. Shawn’s father just got his pink slip on Friday. They just bought a new Ford Taurus and now he is out of a job, facing unemployment. This makes me think a lot bout my childhood. I grew up on the unemployment lines with my mom and dad. Every week when I was about three or four, we would journey up to the office, stand in a line of 200 people and pick up the check. I would entertain myself with chatting to the old ladies in line and I would divulge too much about my parents (kids say the darndest things!) and I never knew my parents were broke. Infact, they made $10 above what you were allowed to make to get on food stamps. Unemployment lines were a large part of my childhood and I always knew there was no such thing as job security. My dad was laid off from Chrysler for seven years…they finally called him back in 1984 but from 1977 – to then, he did what he had to do to make money. He worked at low paying manufacturing jobs, a cab driver, a painter, and many other things so he could put food on the table. And now…it’s beginning to look like the economy is going bad again…hopefully this is just a down spell but I have this feeling that things are going to get worse. Shawn was upset about this and he went onto a rambling spree when I indicated that Bush being elected had something to do with this economic downturn. I don’t believe it’s all his fault but it seems we are lacking confidence in the economy and people are starting to save their money instead of spend, spend, spend…I know personally if I would lose my job now, I would be in huge trouble because I’m living paycheck to paycheck now. Hopefully, a pink slip will not be handed to me anytime soon. Well that’s it for me, take care all- Kellie

February 1, 2001

Welcome February! This is one of the first times that I have ever started the month out by journaling! I’m happy to report that my weightloss is going good so far but I have opted to stay away from the scale for two more weeks so I can have an accurate weigh in. Plus, it keeps me motivated by guessing how much weight I have potentially lost. I’ve managed to stay away from the fast food restaurants this week and I’ve been eating pretty darn healthy. Though, I must admit I need to start writing the food I eat down to track accurate points.

I started to read my journal tonight…I can basically pinpoint when things started to slip, when I moved back to Michigan. I think I hate change and being away from my family. It was really difficult to get back into the swing of things. I was mentally down which is a lot of it. My mental health has a lot to do with my weight. When things are stressful, unbearable, etc. I have the tendency to self medicate myself and I almost sabotaged my weightloss journey. But, I didn’t stop trying…that’s the key. Yeah, it’s taking me a lot longer than I thought it would to lose weight but I’m learning things along the way. Plus, I put myself on a schedule: 1 hour of tv a night, 45 minutes of treadmill, 2 hours Internet, 30 minutes of journaling offline, 30 minutes cooking diner eating…and that is my night. I usually get up at 6:45, get ready, leave for work at 7:30 get there at 8:15 work until 5:30, get home at 6:20 and then follow my schedule. When my lease is up here at this apartment, I am moving 15 minutes down the road to a little hole in the wall called Grant so I can be closer to work. Driving 35 – 45 minutes to work (when I really don’t need to) sucks. I originally moved to Sparta so I could be closer to Shawn but forget that. I usually see him once on Wednesday and then Friday, Saturday, and he leaves early Sunday. He didn’t come out to my place on Wednesday so it was actually a nice break from him…I won’t go into discussing him because it’s pointless! You know me by now…I bitch and complain but I don’t do shit about the situation. Okay, enough of that!

I hate this freaking Michigan weather…snow..snow…snow. I miss Louisville A LOT!!! I think in a year and half I’m moving back down there to get my Ph.D. because I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss the area, and I want my Ph.D. in social work. One thing about Michigan which is good, I’m making good money but I’m basically broke because I charged up my credit card this past summer and I’m $4000 in debit now…plus this darn apartment is sucking me dry $655 a month. Come September, I can go oncall at work and earn $350 a weekend…not bad, eh? But it sucks being a grown up…it was much easier when I could live on $5000 for 5 months…That will only last me 2 months now…urgh…I just need to learn how to budget I guess. Well that’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since February 1, 2001