February 26, 2002

SHAPE: I’m down another pound this week…even when mr. TOM came to visit me! Amazing! I’m feeling good and doing even better than I deserve. My body is turning into a mean green healthy eating machine. I’m still swimming and eating my usual foods and losing it steadily. To tell you the truth, I like losing between 1 – 1 ¾ of a pound a week because my body is having time to adjust to the weight loss. I have 11 more pounds before my first 10% and that’s all I’m looking forward to right now.

SAVE & ORGANIZE: SAVE what? I think I went wild this weekend over buying storage bins, my usual stuff from Sams Club (I buy some stuffed pasta, pria bars, yogurt, etc), and then I bought an I-Cybie dog. Don’t ask me why I bought the darn thing but I thought it was cute. I got a good deal on it at Aldis. They had them for $20! I heard that they were going for more before Christmas. It’s a cute toy for $20 but honestly, I wouldn’t have paid a cent more for it…it’s not worth it. Needless to say now the poor dog is buried amongst my junky moving stuff now. The move is going smoothly but my place is a mess. Shawn is moving his stuff over slowly this week. All of his Star Wars Stuff is here (It’s taking up 3 closets at this time), his huge collection of retro pictures, 80 DVDS, and I don’t even want to count his CD collection. The interesting thing about him moving in is that I am now forced to be organized. I moved 10 (32 gallon) containers of KY Ebay clothes to the storage unit. For the stuff I don’t sell on the net, I take them down to KY and sell them at the local flea market for $2 – 3 per item. I swear that I’m not going to shop at Goodwill anymore because I have too much junk. I’ve also been forced to throw out some stuff. I just had to retire the old VCR that stopped working in November. It was hard to let go of that because it was the only mechanical thing that I had left from my house fire when I was a kid. 1985…man, did that VCR have a few good years. I made Shawn throw it out because I didn’t have the heart. Carrie and Dennis (sister / brother in law) are coming over Friday to help with the big stuff. I just pray that I won’t be getting into any fights with Shawn…I hate moving!

OTHER DIET RAMBLINGS: Man, what is going on with the Weight Watchers 100+ board today? There was some crap flinging over there. One thing that I noticed is that people have been complaining about Cliques and feel hurt when posts are not responded to. Argh…this is frustrating because there will always be those type of people that think they are getting the short end of the stick. Not every post gets the same attention and that’s the way it is. I hate to see crap like that posted because it turns a good board into a petty hs thing…We’re all trying to lose weight here…can’t we all just get along??? Take care all-Kellie

February 21, 2002

SHAPE: Eating is going great this week. I’m averaging between 25 – 27 points a day. I’m one of those people who eat in my actual point range. I know that Dottie from DWLZ.com stated that she would eat in her goal point range but I just can’t do that yet. Hell, I’m not willing to eat 18 – 23 points just yet. The Wendy Plan, in my opinion only, seems like a bad idea because it constricts your points…it treats the plan like a diet, which it’s not…it’s a lifestyle change. Everything I eat now is what I plan to eat in the future. I’m actually trying new things. I’ve fallen in love with the Boca Burgers Italian Sausage (2 points each), TGI Fridays Chicken Taco Roll Ups (1 point each), Chocolate Skinny Cows (2 points each), and for a special treat Faygo Diet Rock n Rye and their Diet Red Pop. Wow, these are some great foods! I didn’t go swimming today because I usually wake up with the radio alarm but the station I had it tuned to, lost it’s signal from 5:30 to 6:15. So instead of just going back to bed, I woke up and did the 2-mile Leslie Sansone Tape and it was absolutely wonderful. I’m telling you if you hate work out tapes, you will love this one, guaranteed. It’s perfect for every person because you can modify the work out and still get results. So I guess I’m going to be in the pool bright and early tomorrow morning, no sleeping in on a Friday here…

ORGANIZE & SAVE: Do we have to talk about organizing? Argh, one more week of freedom. I’m not into all of this moving stuff. Shawn and I rented a storage unit this week. We have to start talking stuff out tomorrow. Argh, I don’t want to move the stuff because I know we are going to be quibbling this weekend about what stays at my place and what goes. I know my life is going to change in the next coming months and I’m going to miss this peace, honestly. But, I have to move on and accept my decision. We’re doing good relationship wise but honestly, I hope this doesn’t kill us because I already know the stats on couples living with each other before marriage (and even couples that have been dating for a very long time and not getting married). I don’t want marriage yet…is that right? When I think of marriage, I get sick feeling…mostly about the planning and financial aspect of paying for a marriage. The last marriage I went to all I could think is that I wouldn’t want to be up on the altar just yet. Maybe it bothers me too much because I know then, I need to grow up and be an adult because. Heck, I feel like I’m 20 now. I guess I just need to get with reality here because I’m not 20…I’m 26! Speaking about 26, you know that I have spent 90% of my 20s being obese (according to the bmi scales)? By the time I was 23, I was at my all time high of 245. I’ve come a long ways since then. The one thing depressing about the weight is that back in the day, it kept me from things. I let it become a barrier for me. Thinking back, I even let weight become a barrier to me when I was thin (and thinking I was fat at 140 pounds). I remember on Friday nights my freshman year at Central. When all my friends left me after 1st semester, I was alone for many weeks. I didn’t go anywhere. I can remember sitting in my dorm, doing my laundry on a Friday night or sitting alone with some popcorn watching cable. I would go into my roommate’s closets and see their nice size 8 clothing. I would dream of being a size 8…and being the life of a party. I kept to myself because I thought that people thought I was fat and boring. Though, something changed around Spring Break. I was determined to meet people then. After going to a party, I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend Mike (check out that old pick of us). He then helped me get physically healthy but mentally unhealthy in the way that I never felt good enough for him. That’s pretty sad, eh? I just never felt good about myself back then. Then when I met Shawn, he liked me for me…and he was not so active as Mike. Infact, he was a couch potato and he still is a couch potato today. That’s when I packed on the pounds…it was like poof, you are overweight Kellie! So I packed on the pounds…I didn’t care what I looked or felt like. Infact, I was miserable then. I remember to crying over my weight for the longest time (then I did some crazy EMDR trick on myself to stop crying over the weight and I haven’t cried about it since then…maybe the EMDR worked, who knows). So here I am know and you know what, I do love myself a lot more now. The fat has actually made me appreciate myself more, as funny as that sounds. Instead of picking apart my body, I love my pair shaped body and my strong looking legs. And I love the person, I am becoming. I’m becoming a thin person…maybe not on the outside just yet but my head is thinking as a thin healthy person….and that feels damn good! Well since it looks like I rambled all throughout this entry, I’ll skip the meaningless diet ramblings tonight. Take care all and have a great weekend-Kellie

February 16, 2002

SHAPE: Okay, I don’t know how I did it but I lost 1.5 pounds today! I followed the plan completely this week but my weightloss battery was a little bit off because I was stressed out this week. Looking back, I wasn’t stressed out on any specific thing (maybe work) but I felt really mentally worn down this week. Or maybe a better explanation is that TOM is going to come early because it was almost like that hormonal feeling but I’m not due until the 23rd or 24th (I’m one of those women who know exactly when it is coming). Anyway, I got my energy back so that’s all that matters. I did stick on plan all week long and even though I was stressed out, I did not turn to food. Instead, I logged onto the WW site or I exercised a bit, or I just focused on something else. But because of my stress level, I thought it would reflect on the scale. It’s one thing that I have learned on this journey is that weightloss is more of a mental thing instead of primarily a physical thing. Yes, we are physically losing the weight but mentally, we are faces challenges everywhere. For example, everything we do is a choice. I chose to put that Big Mac in my mouth…I choose to eat veggies…everything is based on mental willpower. Of course we can accommodate a Big Mac into our lifestyle but is it really worth all those points. Gosh when you add up the points for a Value Meal, is it really worth it? No…I would rather spend all those points on something else…and my body will thank me later. So even though my battery was drained this week, I stood firm on the plan, and I refused to make unwise choices. Now, I hope I can do this every time.

SAVE & ORGANIZE: Oh, I saved a bundle today at Kohls. I bought this Wool Pea coat as pictured for $20 (regular $140), 6 tops for $30 making the total come to $50 for all. They had new Columbia Plus Size Jackets for $39 (regular $175). I bought 2 sleeveless summer sweaters and I’m hoping to wear them come June/July for work. I just need to firm my under arms…as shown in the other picture.(Man, I am attacking y’all with pics today!) Though, I noticed that my arms are gaining more muscle definition than ever before. As for another save today. I got my tax money back and it’s going to pay off my next card credit card. I only owe $400 and then I am debt free from credit cards. Then it’s time to tackle my car payment and financial aid. Oh, I’m on the right track now!

OTHER MEANINGLESS DIET RAMBLINGS: If y’all have ever wondered why I have so many damn pictures of myself up…well here is the explanation. For 7 years, I went without taking pictures of myself (If I do have pictures, it was not at my own free will). I have no documentation of me being in college hardly, no pictures of close friends, missed family photo opportunities, and that is truly sad. Initially on the site, I had a few pics here and there but a year ago, I started to get more interactive and heck more documentative for myself. I’m more of a visual person and I want to see the change in myself for the better (or for the worse) so I decided to take a picture of myself for my weekly log in. Another reason why I like it, well, it’s kind of like you (the reader/lurker) are talking to me and getting a picture of what my life is like. When I visit other people’s pages, I long to see who I am reading about…what are they like visually and I usually visit those pages more often when they give me a peak into their life. Anyways, that’s why I have so many pics…if you ever wondered. Well take care all-Kellie

February 11, 2002

SHAPE: Lost another 1 ¼! Making it 9 ½ pounds since January 5th! It’s coming along pretty good. I’m really proud of myself. I’m eating good and staying within my point range. Though, I noticed that I need to increase my intake of veggies and fruits. Here’s my basic day, Breakfast: Gogurt, a PRIA Bar, or a Bagel .5 with 2 tsp. of light cream cheese. Lunch: Chicken or Sushi, Salad with cheese, croutons, and lite Italian dressing, and a skinny cow. Dinner: I interchange Pasta, Fish, Shrimp, Pork Chops, and Chicken with various veggies and sometimes some baked French-Fries, and dried cranberries as desert. So that’s my basic food plans. If I eat out, I will have Chicken or a simple burger. Water intake is a lot….don’t ask me how much, but a lot. My favorite eat in place is Olga’s Kitchen. I get their fat free bread wrapped with chicken. Yummy! I’m swimming 3 times a week and working out with the tapes 2 times a week but I’m just getting 12 activity points a week. I would like to increase that to 14 points a week. I’m trying!

ORGANIZE & SAVE: I’m getting ticked off at Shawn this week. I’m trying to communicate myself in the appropriate manner but he’s just not getting it! It’s nothing bad but his habits are irritating the hell out of me. 1. I hate how he plops on my couch without a shirt. It’s gross and he’s not a thin man either so I can just imagine the damage he is doing to my lazy boy couch. Hell, I don’t even lay on my couch like that. I would like to keep this couch for a few years and if he continues to do that…it’s just not going to happen. 2. He’s not contributing to the food bill yet, and this is bothering me, and he is eating my lunch food for work plus my skinny cows. Argh! I went to Sam’s Club last week to buy my Tyson Chicken for work and he ate 4 of the 6 chicken breasts in one package, 5 skinny cows, and some of my pasta stuff! I asked him at Sams to chip in and he stated that he would not eat the items but obviously, he did. Maybe I’m making something out of nothing but I honestly want this worked out before he gets here permanently. Basically the last couple of weeks he has been spending more time at my place so I think he needs to chip in more. I hope this is not an indicator of what is to come. I’m trying to be constructive with him but he thinks I’m picking on him when I bring this up…I’m not…I’m communicating, I think but getting mildly frustrated.

OTHER DIET RAMBLINGS: If any of you are getting irritated by my site shutting down, please email me @ misskellie@hotmail.com because I’m debating if I should upgrade the page or not. Currently, I’m using the free service at yahoo and I’m just not convinced to upgrade just yet., so please let me know. Shawn and I got digital cable on Friday….okay, I think this is going to be a problem because we got everything and I’m not motivated to turn the TV off! Well that’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

February 5, 2002

SHAPE: WHOWOWOWA! Down another 1.75 pounds! Yippy! So that makes the total to be 8.5 only 15 more to go to my 1st 10%. I’m doing really good on it this week. I had a high point on super bowl Sunday (42 points) but I’m making sure my banked points go towards that number. I’ve been using my Leslie Sansone Walking tape (1mile) and swimming 3 days a week (36 minutes of swimming without stopping) is my workout. Concerning eating, I eat beef one time a week, twice a week (sushi once), soup once a week, and chicken the remainder of the time. My fridge is stocked with veggies like broccoli, cauliflower, etc. I’m trying my best to get my veggies in at night because I usually skip them at dinnertime. I’m noticing my pants are getting loose in the hips and my skin is showing signs of shrinking. I’m journaling everything….drinking my H20…and attending my meetings, plus I’m on the Weight Watchers sight at least once a day. So I’m motivated right now. One thing I’ve learned about weight loss is that it takes a ton of energy to lose and when you’re not focused on weightloss, it just won’t happen so easily. If you haven’t picked up the newest Shape Magazine so far, I would suggest that you do so. It has some great tips in it concerning long term weightloss. A must read for anyone trying to achieve a health lifestyle.

ORGANIZE & SAVE: Only 3 more weeks til Shawn moves in. He still hasn’t called on a storage unit yet. That is irritating me. I asked him 3 weeks ago to get things rolling but he’s taking his sweet time. He got an interview for Thursday in Muskegon for a graphic design firm. I hope he does okay. It would be nice if the place paid well. I know he’s not too hot on Muskegon but you got to do what you got to do. Besides, the apartment is only 20 minutes from Muskegon. This weekend I have to work the antique shop. I think the rest of the time, I will be getting things organized to get into storage and I’ll be plopping my bottom on the couch because Digital Cable is a coming! Since Shawn is moving in, I decided that I should spring for cable. I’ve been using bunny ears for the past year. When I moved from my old apartment, they wouldn’t let me put the old dish up so I didn’t want to go from superior cable to rip me off cable with 30 channels for $30…so I just stored the dish in my closet. I guess if I give them my dish, I will get $200 off. Not bad eh? Hello HBO, CINEMAX, STARS, and ENCORE…just what I need when I was just getting active w/o TV. Take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since February 5, 2002

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