February 28, 2005

After more than a year and a half, I am finally organized and on a schedule! I’m proud to say that my house is clean and I’m finally got my loose ends tied up around the home here. I’m cooking in nearly 95% of the time thanks to dream dinners and I’m eating healthier. I have to say that I am a huge fan of the dream dinners (www.dreamdinners.com) because it’s so easy and fast. It’s one of those places that you go, make 6 meals for a family of 6 and then take it home and freeze it. When you want to eat it, you defrost it and bake it. It’s simplified my life so much that it’s worth every penny. This month I made creamy chicken bake, turkey meatloaf cordon bleu, London broil, egg rolls, and chicken Mirabella. My favorites turned out to be the creamy chicken bake and the turkey meatloaf. The majority of the meals are WW friendly so it is great. All I have to do is make the vegetable. Plus it’s helping Chris out with his eating. ,/p>

Weight wise, I’m at 168 though my inches are finally dropping again! So even though the scale is not moving, I’m finally seeing some progress in my clothes getting looser. I’ve been tracking my points diligently, attending WW meetings 1 per week, and exercising between 4-6 days per week (minimum 3 at Curves and the rest with Walk Away The Pounds). Basically, all I can do is be patient with the weight to slowly creep off. I’ve also rethought my goal weight too. I always wanted to be 140 but it’s not realistic for me so when the scale hits 155 at Weight Watchers, that’s going to be my goal. No offense but I’m so tired of paying them money so it’s about time that I set a realistic goal of 155 because when I hit 158, I looked terrific. So I’m 13 pounds from goal and it’s going to be the hardiest 13 pounds to lose. But I will stick with it. I’ve also accepted the fact that Weight Watchers is going to be a permanent fixture in my life because I need this program to help me ensure that the weight does not creep back on. I know that there is a direct correlation between gaining and not tracking so I need to stick with it. I’m just glad that I’m back on track now.

Things are going good with Chris and I. We are aggressively paying off the property and hope to have it paid off by July. Then we’re off to save for the house. We figure that we will build late in 2006 so that we can chunk down about $30K and hopefully we will have a low mortgage. We’re going to be our own general contractors and do sweat equity with the house. It helps that Carrie and Dennis are now licensed builders so they are going to help us out a big deal. Chris was excited this weekend because we just bought a $400 2 person sailboat to sail on our lake near the property. It’s a speed sailboat so I’ve never seen anything like it. So he has his sailboat now and I’ll be patient for my pontoon boat. Yesterday, I actually handled being in Home Depot for an hour and I was not bored. This is a huge accomplishment because when I was young and I went to any type of building store I just went bonkers. I guess it is different when you are looking for yourself. I’ve found the perfect bungalow style windows by Andersen so I was pretty excited. Oh gosh, I do sound old now!

Things are going good with work. Even though my hours are long, I’m still being able to balance working out though I’m still eating really late but at least I’m not eating junk. Nothing is going on at work besides getting swamped with clients and being expected to turn around notes within 24 hours of contact. I swear I was so overwhelmed last week, I almost started to cry about it. I begged my boss not to give me anymore clients but there is nothing that we can do because we don’t have enough therapists to go around. My case load is at an all time high plus my expected duties are also at an all time high. I’m expected to attend about 3-5 hours a week of community meetings then 4 hours per week of training with the DBT (Dialectical behavior training used primarily to treat borderline personality disorders) model and then somehow balance my 18 consumers…so needless to say, that I have been putting too much stress on myself to be a good worker. I really like this DBT model because it similar to “reframing” and controlling how you act and how your brain thinks. Even if you are not a borderline the stuff can really work on you. I’ve been applying it in my own life and it’s super impressive. In the summer, I’m supposed to be co-leading a DBT group with teenagers so I’m just learning the ropes now. In May, they are sending me to a $3000 training for a week so it’s a privilege to be doing this type of therapy. I’m amazed by how much my agency dumps into training me because it shows that they are invested and that makes me feel a little more secure. I would honestly love to be a lifer there because they are just so good to me. I always thought that I wanted to be a school social worker but now when looking at it, it’s just not worth the hassle or the pay cut because I could imagine being back at the bottom of the pay scale. Hopefully I can stay there. At this point in life, I’m not planning on going anywhere.

So life is good! I’m back on track and have been since January. The weightloss is slow but at least I have not had a gain since December. Slowly I will take off this weight/inches and will meet goal. It’s worth all the effort because it’s my health and I’m worth every penny. Take care all-Kellie

February 2, 2005

You know what I was thinking last night? June is only four months away! That means warm weather, cool breezes, and the beginning of summer. I absolutely hate the winter. It always makes me feel so “frozen” like just waiting for time to pass quickly. Spring and summer are so nice because you can be outside and just feel like living. I’m glad I got on program when I did so when summer comes around, I will be looking good. I’m down another .75 pounds so I’ll take that. I will feel a lot better when I’m back below 165. This round of WW is slow. When I weighed in last week, I almost started to put myself down with a .75 loss. I know that is stupid but I kind of cringe when I’m sitting there in the meeting and the weight loss leader comes around and gives stars to everyone...she goes to EVERYONE (there’s at least 50 in the class) and it makes me cringe to hear 3, 4,5 pounds in people. Yeah, I’m happy for them but in my weightloss history, I don’t believe that I have ever lost more than 1.50 pounds per week. I just sit there in awe wondering how they are pulling off these big losses while I sit there with my .75 loss. Like I said, it was only for a moment but how is it that I get in that mode of putting myself down like my .75 is not accomplishment for me? I guess that is where my tools of reframing come in. I handled it like, “well, at least it was a loss”“I know you worked hard”, etc. It’s just sad how that negative mode comes naturally at times. Speaking of weight watchers leaders, I miss my old one. I guess she got fired and I’m really having trouble with adjusting to the new one. The new one is nice but the meeting is soooo different. It’s more on here are this person’s personal weight loss issues, here are some products that I found instead of focusing on how to eat more healthy. It just doesn’t have the same feel so I’m really struggling with getting into it. I just need to get used to the new styles of the leader I guess.

One thing that I have been frustrated with lately is the people who are totally against any type of carbs. Me and the MIL (mother in law) got into a “discussion” and she stated that she is going to eat around 20 carbs per day. Honestly, I don’t see how this is realistic...I mean, how can you maintain a 20 carb or lower day? And what really blew my mind is that she was eating a “low carb” ice cream and it had 11 grams of fat in a 1/4c. Now, I think that is ridiculous. Who needs a 11 g of fat in a faux ice cream? I just don’t get it. I know there are good carbs and bad carbs but how are people going to maintain this type of strict counting. I just hope this fad goes away and people just eat healthy. MIL exclaimed that SIL (sister in law) lost 10 pounds on eating minimal carbs so I think that is what getting her is that SIL is seeing results. MIL kept on stating that WW doesn’t work for her anymore but you know what, after watching her, I kind of know why...she is not tracking the food. She is one of those BLT’s people (BITE, LICK, TASTE) something is always in her mouth and it seems like she is not keeping track of it. Then she went into complaining that she has only lost 3 pounds in the last month. To me, that is success losing 3 pounds. Or maybe MIL is treating herself like I was in the WW meeting were I was comparing my .75 loss to 5 pounds as she was comparing her 3 to SIL 10 pounds...who know but it is frustrating because we all know that WW works, it’s just how you use the program or how you don’t use it.

Things are going good here. Life is busy but I’m attempting to keep up with it. My place is clean and tidy. I’m cooking in more at night thanks to the food networks Rachel Ray’s 30 minute meals. I’ve gotten so many great recipes off of that show. I make them a little more WW friendly but oh, have I been eating good! Last night I had some marinate flank steak with some red potatoes with green onions in them and some broccoli with garlic in it. Yummy and it only took 30 minutes!

This Friday, I’m putting myself up for some new experiences where I’m meeting some newly married ladies from theknot.com. We are getting together and going to a place called “Dream Dinners”. It’s a 2 hour cooking place where you make all the food there (they provide you with everything) and you take it home and freeze it. I think this is a good idea because we throw out so much food that it isn’t even funny. Plus, it’s a good thing because I’m getting out there and meeting new people. Now that’s a hard thing to do when you are 29. Well, I hope you are all doing well and take care-Kellie

My Vistors Since February 2, 2005