January 30, 2002

SHAPE: Folks, I am doing awesome on Weight Watchers. Last weigh in, I was down .75 pounds (even though TOM was occurring)! I’m sticking with the plan. I’m writing things down…in fact, everything I put in my mouth is documented. I’m checking the points for everything. I’ve reduced my eating out to twice a week. I’m feeling good and looking even better (in my mind because I’m feeling healthy for once). I’m sticking to 3 meals a day, plus an occasional fruit snack. Food is no longer a tool to make me feel emotionally fuller or comforted but it is something to give fuel to exercise and have energy. Okay, I occasionally indulge, but it’s no different than before EXCEPT that I am doing it in moderation. I’m eating one pork chop instead of two, no fried foods but baked, etc. I’m eating now like how I plan to eat every for the rest of my life. I’m redefining my relationship with food. Food is Food. I’m not going to dream about it. If I have an urge for something, I’m going to accommodate it in my plan somehow, without sacrificing. And the biggest thing, I AM ACCOUNTABLE. Maybe before, I didn’t know how real WW meetings were but the one I go to is awesome. I’m motivated by others, I’m accountable (to an extinct) by the scale, and the meeting basically is re-affirming the fact that I was a food addict. I was. I am a food addict. Everyone has their fix, and mine was food. It wasn’t always food but somehow, in college, I started to turn to it and the benefits, where none…accept comfort, the costs were many, embarrassment, frustration, loneliness, self loathing, and my own health (both mental and physical) went down. Though, this was then, in college. I’m no longer frustrated by my weight, I love myself, I’m proud of me, regardless of my size, and I do feel good. One thing that the fat has taught me is love. I love myself, I didn’t five years ago, nor ten. I criticized myself thinking that 130 was fat. Oh, what a silly girl I was back in those days. Thank you weight watchers for helping me in my lifestyle change.

ORGANIZE & SAVE: One more month til Shawn moves in. It’s going to be okay. We both will need some adjusting but I’m optimistic that it will work out both emotionally and financially. Basically, my bills will be cut in half. Now that is a glorious thing. The biggest thing is that half my crap will need to go into storage…now that is going to be a job. I’ll think about that later. I’m continuing to act like I am poor. I’m not going to run out and buy new clothes when I get smaller but my good old friend, Goodwill, be more than happy to outfit me. I’m going to shop at Aldi’s and Sam’s Club. Gone are the days of the family local market because my name is Kellie, the bargain hunter.

MEANINGLESS OTHER DIET RAMBILLINGS: I’m addict two new things. The 100+ board on WW and my new Leslie Sansone Tapes. The tapes are awesome. I’m going to use them on my off swim days so I can have 14 activity points. I get 9 points for 3 days of swimming now since I am continuously swimming for 40 minutes (without stopping!). So I figure adding the tapes in will benefit me somehow. Well folks, check me out in the swim suit…aren’t I looking terrific :P Take care all-Kellie

January 23, 2002

SHAPE: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m doing well this week. One thing that I have noticed this week is how every damn thing has sodium in it. Some of the weirdest stuff actually has a lot of sodium. For instance, I am planning on taking out one of my consumers for lunch tomorrow and we are going to Subway. The average 6” sandwich has about 1200 mg of sodium…what the heck? The light it is supposed to be the heavier the sodium content is. I guess it doesn’t help that I had pasta with spaghetti sauce tonight either…I bet that was just loaded down. I’m been drinking water like nuts. I don’t even want to estimate how much water I have been drinking down. Hopefully, that will help wash the salt out of my body, what do you think? I’ve been swimming the past few days. Things are going good at the pool but the water for the last two days has been hot, and it’s not very fun to be doing laps in a pool that is around 87 – 92 degrees…I’m just wondering if they are trying to make it a freakin therapy pool??? I haven’t noticed any changes accept that I am feeling better…more energetic, oh, and maybe my pants in the legs are getting looser. I’m just glad that I am recommitted to this fine program. I’m in that mode again and I’m just enjoying myself. I’m faithfully journaling everything. I always hated those little pamphlets so I got myself their daily journal in a spiral bound. It’s much easier to compare weeks and look back at former point days.

SAVE & ORGANIZE: I need to write myself a budget this weekend and stick to it. It appears that I will be getting a small crunch of change from Taxes back. I’m using that money to pay off my nextcard and then the remainder of the money will either go to financial aid payoff or put it in my school saving account. I took pictures of my place tonight. The scenery will be changing soon with Shawn moving in. The one thing I’m going to miss is my privacy and solitude. Honestly, at night, I enjoy getting home to an empty place. Is that odd…maybe. But, I’m with people all day. Chaotic people who attempt to drain my battery and when I get home, it’s my time. No one is here. I can just relax, put on my sweat pants, and have no worries. It feels like that is going to change and I’m going to miss it. So here are the pics from the place. As you can see, the puter/ebay room is pure disaster…my bed needs to be made…and my dinning room ad kitchen look like a resale center. Ah, at least I will get a storage unit in about two weeks to organize that. Most of the ebay/shop stuff will go into storage. We will be using my furniture but we will be using Shawn’s bed. His Star Wars collection will be occupying 3 out of the four closets…and somewhere I will hang my clothes. Needless to say, I will be enjoying my last month of solitude because change is on the horizon.

MEANINGLESS DIET RAMBLINGS: Ladies, step away from your scale because it’s purely EVIL! Honestly, staying away from the scale has done me a world of good in the last few weeks. With every scale, there is going to be a difference. Pick a scale, wear the same clothing each week if possible, and weigh in….then forget about weighing in until the next week. Every time you step on a different scale, you are just putting yourself through more psychological trauma of “I gained” or “I lost”. Regardless, your weight changes a lot throughout the week and honestly, it’s not worth jeopardizing your journey over some numbers. What should keep you motivated is yourself, your desire, and most of all your determination for a healthy lifestyle…and these things are NOT determined by a number. Just remember that…that’s it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie

January 21, 2002

SHAPE: I spent 4 days in the pool last week and I stayed in my point range each day…and I lost 1 ¾! I was so happy. So now I am down 5 ¾ pounds. I earned my first 5-pound bookmark last Saturday too. I find the meetings really helpful too. Last meeting we discussed losses and plateaus. The leader sounds very informative and helpful. She is so much better than the at work leader where I attended last year. That woman was basically a flirt who would drop her pens in front of the men. A real pain. She offered little advice and tips, basically it was a waste of money. Though, I’m glad I’m attending the meetings. It puts this journey into perspective. I’m losing a little over time…eventually, I’ll get my 10% and after that, I will eventually reach another 10%, and so forth, until I meet my goal. I’m not going to race, nor am I putting a time frame on this journey…and I’m happy that I’m not doing it alone anymore.

ORGANIZE & SAVE: Argh…I spent too much money this weekend. Shawn and I hit Sam’s club on Friday. I bought a bunch of stuff. I even picked up 2 Speedo’s for $21.44 each! I bought a set of Leslie Sansone “Walk off the Pounds” tape..(they are great!). Thank goodness to a WW member who spoke highly of them. I’m offering a set on ebay right now, so if you are curious, check it out. I found some tennis shoes on Sunday at Sears. I bought a pair of Adidas and Nikes for $25 a piece. What a deal because I was looking for shoes about 7 weeks.

MEANINGLESS DIET RAMBLINGS: I used my points unwisely this Sunday. Shawn’s parents came up and they celebrated his birthday. Even though, I exercised some moderation, I still ended up eating 42 points. Now I am paying penance for the rest of the week by staying in the lower point range. Was it worth it? No but I could have done worse. I’m getting worried about Shawn’s weight too now. It looks like he is getting bigger. His 2X’s are getting tighter. Though, I’m not too sure on how to approach this topic with him. I was hoping my effort would rub off on him, but it’s not happening. Another thing that is ticking me off this week is that my normal good complexion is looking like a 14 year olds face going through puberty. I just wish TOM would get here before weigh in! Well that’s it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie

January 16, 2002

SHAPE: Okay, I am absolutely doing fabulous on Weight Watchers. I even passed up on the team lunch today of pizza and instead opted to eat my regular lunch and ate some of the veggies that were provided. My willpower is back! Isn’t being back on track great? I wish I could bottle some of this positive energy so that I will always have it. I’m eating at different parts of the point range. General, I hit the top about 3 days a week, the other times I eat around 25 - 27 points. So far this week, I’ve made the 0 point weight watchers soup plus sushi, I had to eat out yesterday, and today I ate a lean boneless pork chop. Of course, I’ve been eating my veggies and salads lately. So life is good….look at how good my fridge looks? (the cherry coke is Shawn’s)

SAVE & ORGANIZE: I need to get some ebay sales going. My booth at the shop is doing okay but it’s not ebay money. I’ve recently cut down on my auctions. I haven’t posted anything since the beginning of December. My place continues to be clean, I’m just making it a habit so it becomes easier.

MEANINGLESS OTHER DIET RAMBLINGS & ETC: I had a long day yesterday I made sure I had a snack at 5 then when I ate at 8:15 (taco bell), I was not starving. I went with their .98 cent deal (a taco and a burrito), though I only ate half a burrito. I’ve been making a lot of sushi lately. I’ll eat it about 4 times a week. It’s cheap, yummy, and of course, low in fat. Even if the scale doesn’t show a loss, I’m feeling really good this week. My energy is up…and my mood is positive. Well that’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

January 14, 2002

SHAPE: WHOA!!!!!! I lost four pounds this week at Weight Watchers. Isn’t that awesome?!?! I ate really well last week. I kept in my point range and I even exercised 3 times last week. I was so nervous to weigh in but my fears were unfounded. On another good note, I have broken my scale addiction. That puppy is in my bathroom closet and it’s not coming out for a very long time. I also eat out once this past weekend. Shawn and I went to the new Chinese Buffet across from my apartment and I even ate sensibly. I had a coup of wonton soup, a crab Rangoon, and steemed veggies. Aren’t you proud of me? Now, I just need Shawn to give up his quarter pounder fascination because we together need to lose some weight. I made some 0 point veggie soup tonight and I paired it with some Sushi. Now that’s a yummy low point dinner.

ORGANIZE & SAVE: My apartment is still clean…after two weeks. I’m doing my laundry now once a week and I do my dishes every night. This is a huge task for me to accomplish because I’m usually lazy. Save wise, I have discovered the joys of Aldi’s. It’s a cheap grocery place…you know, one of those discount off brand places? Well, I got some major deals this weekend. I bought 2 shrimp platters for $5 a piece, where they usually go for $15. I got some gorgeous pork chops 3 for $2.25, and boneless chicken 20 for $5. I also found the joys at shopping at Steve and Barry’s. It’s a college/pro sports team place where every college and other team stuff is under $20. I got me this heavy fleece jacket that his my undergraduate alma matter Central Michigan University for $19Now that’s a steal…just call me Kellie the bargain hunter! Take care all, Kellie

January 10, 2002

SHAPE: I’ve been so good lately! I’ve been sticking in my point range this week. I have been averaging 26 – 28 points a day. Am I the last to know about “Skinny Cows”? Oh my gosh, we are talking a near orgasmic food experience here and to top it off, they are only 2 points! My fridge is going to be loaded with these things. If you don’t know what a skinny cow is, it’s a 2 point ice cream sandwich. I found out about it on Weight Watchers online. If this company offers stock, I would definitely buy it. This product is awesome. The only downfall is the price. I hear they are cheaper elsewhere but the place I found them at are $4.49 for six. Though, that beats a night raid at McDonalds. Check out their website if you have any questions. I tried the mint so far and I’m looking forward to trying the other flavors, but I’m going to be good and have 1 a day.

ORGANIZE, SAVE: My place continues to be clean. This must be a record for me! So It’s all-good in that area. Concerning saving, it’s definite that the company got a 6% raise. Then I noticed on my tax stuff is that they are taking less out. Sorry but I like a big refund at the end and I’m claiming 0 so I’m going to get that fixed. I usually like that money down the road. I’m planning on taking my extra check in March (we get paid 3 times in a month, twice a year) and pay off my nextcard. I’m happy to report that I have not used a credit card in 1 year 3 months! /p>

MEANINGLESS DIET RAMBLINGS: If you haven’t checked out Weight Watchers Online, I suggest you do so. So far, it’s not a pay site (Shame on you Cyberdiet, DietWatch)…I’ve been hanging out on the 100+ board and it’s great. The people are very friendly and supportive. Honestly, it helps by keeping me going. So if you have the chance, please check it out. Well, I’m off to the doctor pretty soon; I got the morning off so wish me luck. Lucky me, I get to show the doctor my world. Argh, take care all-Kellie

January 7, 2002

SHAPE: I DID IT FOR THE FOURTH TIME. Ah, yes, once again, I am a member of weight watchers. My first time at weight watchers was when I was in college. They were doing that Fat & Fiber thing…I think it was in 1994. Second time, I joined when I started this website, which used the old points system (just found out that they changed it a bit) in 1999. I joined again in 2000, when I did it at work. Then now, I am a member once again. I joined at a place in Grand Rapids. They offer Saturday meetings…and Sundays. I always have these two days off so no more excuses! I’m back on the plan, I will be accountable, and I will go to meetings…if one doesn’t work, I’ll attend another because I have options now. I am ready. And truthfully, I am looking at this as a 10% deal. Thinking about 140 is overwhelming to me, but under 200 isn’t. I’m also looking at this journey like a game or a puzzle. Using the point system is like a game. Trying to fit different things in and not going over your points. The last couple of months, I haven’t been journaling my food. What a mistake! I noticed on my first day, I ate 38 points. Second day, I dropped down to 29, third day 27. So I’m getting better. I’m happy that I’m back, back in the saddle again. Now I have to just hit the pool tomorrow morning @ 6am!

ORGANIZE, SAVE: My place is finally clean, sparkling clean, and boy does it feel good. I’ll try not to let it get out of control again but it’s difficult. Saving wise, I took two oncall shifts this week. I’m on tonight and Wednesday night. So far, I haven’t gotten a call tonight. (I’m praying with the oncall palm pilot) Let’s hope it stays that way. Weekday nights, I make $80 regardless if I go out or stay in. I’m going to put this money in the bank and SAVE SAVE SAVE.

MEANINGLESS DIET RAMBLINGS: Okay, why did they have to go and fool with the point range at WW? Losing 2 points per day is difficult! Argh, I can do it…I’ll stop complaining. Oh, and I noticed that the scale at WW is 8 pounds heavy so I’m now 226 according to their scale. I’m not going to mess with my scale whatsoever anymore. It’s hidden in the closet and I will go by there’s. I was surprised when they did not give me the whole program materials at once. I guess I’ll get a new booklet every week. To tell you the truth, thank goodness I have the old books because I must say it would be much more complicated if I did not have them as references. The meeting seemed okay. There were women of all shapes, sizes, and age. Hopefully, I’ll meet someone to chat with. Overall, it’s good to be back. It feels good, real good!-take care all, Kellie

January 3, 2002

Shape: Argh…made some stupid unwise choices today. This morning I had a bowl of rip off Rice Krispes. For Lunch I had a hamburger because I took a consumer out to lunch and then when I got back to the agency, I ate a little bit of roasted chicken breast without the skin. Dinner, I had 3 small pieces of left over pizza from Little Caesars and then I had a yogurt. I have no excuse for not eating a healthier dinner today but as you can see, my diet was definitely not balanced today. I should have made dinner for me tonight but when I got home at 6:15 all I could think about is convenience. But convenience is what will put the weight on me and prevent me from getting to my goal….think Kellie think! I’m wishing those point books above me head will give me some eternal wisdom!

Organize: My place is still a disaster. I think on Saturday I will do laundry and get things put into place. Another resolution I had this year is to get with health appointments better so I’m attempting to organize myself in that area also. I called my physician today for my annual pap exam. I haven’t had one since May of 2000. So instead of putting it off even more, I’m going to pop in Thursday and get that taken care of. Those appointments are so anxiety based. Nothing better than sitting on the table and showing the doctor your world down there. Urgh. I usually just sit there and close my eyes and pretend I’m on a beach or something. It’s got to be taken care of though.

Study & Save: I didn’t do my vocab words last night. I instead played on the computer. Another unwise choice! Save wise, I skipped the pop machine today and I dodged an employee gift card. I signed the thing but they were looking for $$ for a graduation gift for a file clerk upstairs. Nope, not this week, and besides she just started 2 weeks ago and this card with money thing is simply getting out of control. No more!

Meaningless Diet Ramblings: On my IE5 I couldn’t get onto the Weight Watchers site yet when I used my AOL Browser, I could. Odd, eh? Okay, I’m battling with the notion once again to join a WW group. Really, it is the best program out there and I need it, I really do. But the time and money thing is getting me. The one in my town is at a church @ 5:30 on Monday’s. So that would prompt me to clear off my Monday’s and leave work early. I’m not too sure if that is possible but it’s like that strength in numbers. I have two appointments for next Monday but I’ll look into it. Take care all –Kellie

January 2, 2002

SOSS!!! This is my new format. It’s a SHAPE, ORGANIZE, SAVE, STUDY year. If you only want the diet part, well you can read the first S…Good bye to mind body and spirit because I have a new agenda. Each of the categories, I have trouble in. So my resolution is to S0SS!

SHAPE: Okay, I can’t swim until Monday. The pool is closed until then. I haven’t been exercising at all since mid December, which is bad…real bad. I was going to use exercise tapes but my VCR bit the dust a month ago. It was 16 years old. My eating has varied. I went from eating like a pig, to eating well, to eating like a pig. It’s like a roller coaster. M-F, I am totally under control. Saturday and Sunday is a free 4 all. The strange thing is that I haven’t gained anything. Sometimes I wish I would just so I would be punished for eating such crap. Shawn bought me a Sushi kit for Christmas so I made my own California Rolls. Yummy! Plus they are low in fat!

ORGANIZE AND SAVE:Well, my place still needs to be organized because Shawn is moving in beginning in March. After long deliberation, I’m going to do it. Honestly, I had to really think about it but overall, the benefits outweigh the risks. We’ve been doing pretty well since August. He’s made some good changes for the better. I miss him during the week now. I guess I’m ready to depend on someone now. Before, I haven’t been ready. I guess the layoff was a tad bit of a catalyst but sometimes, things need to change. Besides, I’m tired of being broke. I earn pretty good money for being a social worker. By the time everything adds up, I have $1600 a month in bills. I want and need to save for my future. I’m planning on pursuing my Ph.D. in the fall of 2003 and I need at least $7000 in the bank for that. Hell, I don’t even a cent right now in a savings account. When I look at my budget, I can’t find anything to cut accept my resale and estate sale spending and I don’t want to cut that off too much.

STUDY: I need to practice my Vocab Wizard 6.3 tonight. My vocabulary is so poor that on my GRE practice tests, I cannot get higher than a 390 and I need at least a 490 to be accepted.

ENDING DIET RAMBLINGS:We’ll see how this format goes…I need something to keep my goals in perspective. So keep with me! On another note, I was wondering how long it would take to see a diet infomercial on TV when I woke up on the first. One was on when I turned on the TV. Predictable, eh? So what are your resolutions this year? Are you like me…stating…I’m going to lose that weight!? Well misskellie, you only have 1 year until your 10th high school reunion and it’s not my goal to be 215…maybe 160 at the most. Until Shawn moves in, I still have those clothes in my closet that I could wear if I would be a size 16. 3 pairs of Dana Buchman pants are calling my name. Now lets just get organized and stop making excuses. Take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since January 2, 2002

~Return to the Main Menu~