January 19, 2003

I’m down another 2 pounds! I’m siting at 169.25 pounds…not bad eh? Things went well this past week. I could really tell that I was going to have a strong weigh in. I figured that last week’s maintenance was due to the ovulation. I normally lose about a pound a week so I’m right on schedule.

I had an awesome weekend. I went out to Carrie and Dennis’s and had an absolute blast. Carrie and I had a “Thrifty Weekend” where we got some new clothes and stuff for the house. I got a ton of new (new to me that is) used clothes. I hit the jackpot at a place called Value World. I picked up some flattering tops, some work khakis, etc. I figured that I got about 9 new outfits in all for $55. Now don’t you folks want to go shopping with me? All the items I picked up were name brands like Tommy, Express, J Crew, Dockers, Banana Republic, Old Navy, Talbot’s, American Eagle, just to name a few. I got a few winter items but the majority of the items are stuff for spring and summer. I figured I should pick them up while I have the opportunity. Carrie and I also stopped at Trader Joe’s. Okay, I’m in love with that store because it is so cheap. I always thought that they were going to be kind of pricey but they are on par with Aldi’s prices. I purchased 2 meal kits, 2 chicken sausages, 1 bag of honey pretzels, yogurt, meringue cookies, cherry cider, nacho chips and salsa, and some no pudge brownies for $28.00. I would have stocked up a little more but I’m going on vacation on Tuesday so I figure when I come home through Indianapolis, I’m going to bring a cooler and stop in there and load up. You just can’t beat prices like that. It’s truly amazing. I’ve been hearing about the place for years through the weight watchers website and I’ve been dying to go to one but the nearest one was in Indi. They I was reading the Detroit News last month and I saw that they had two new stores in the Detroit Metro area so when I went out there this weekend, I stopped. Carrie enjoyed it too so she’s going to be shopping there also. Then we went bowling yesterday too. So I really enjoyed myself. I figure that I should go out there every month for a visit. It’s good for me to get out.

Okay, for the not so good news. I got a 940 on the GRE Test, I needed 1000. I did poorly on the Vocab section. I got a 500 on the math section and a 440 on the Verbal. I didn’t pace myself well on the vocab section because at the end, I had to blow through 12 questions without putting much thought into them. I didn’t even get to answer two. I figure that I’m going to retake the test in 4 months. So at this time, no Ph.D. Program at Louisville until 2004 unless if a miracle happens. I actually took it pretty well. Heck, that means I have another year to stack the cash away, I’ll be fully invested in my 401, and maybe I’ll score higher on the GRE so that I could get a nice fat scholarship. I only cried once about the test. I think the thing about it that I hate is that I don’t have the control to choose when I’m going to Louisville, unfortunately, the test is dictating when I go. I’ll talk to the people at Louisville when I’m down there next week. I’m having dinner with Gail (my professor friend) on the 29th and then I have her retirement party on the 31st so I will be smoozing with a lot of people with a lot of power so we’ll see what I can do.

I’m leaving for Kentucky on Wednesday morning. I’m going to be staying with Teresa overnight on Wednesday, then going to the folks on Thursday and then returning to Louisville the next Wednesday and going home on Saturday. Besides the party and the dinner, I really don’t have any plans but relaxing. Hopefully, I will have good travel weather.

Oh, my weekly update on the cute outpatient therapist. I was telling another outpatient therapist that I needed to go out and meet people because I don’t have too many friends. She then stated that she should fix me up and she had the best guy for me, she said “He’s 32, single, doesn’t drink or smoke, etc, and he has a job…and his name is Mike, you know Mike?” I was like “Ah, yes, he’s cute…and smart”. She said she’d look into it because she’s matched up 3 couples. I’m still working the situation. Trying to play cool without being too much of a dork, acting improper/unprofessional, or seem entirely desperate. All I have to say is “Hook me up baby”…I know, take it slow. At least it makes work a little less boring, regardless. Well that’s it for me tonight, take care all-Kellie

January 12, 2003

Instead of dropping some pounds this weekend, I dropped some serious cash. Yes, cash that is because I don’t believe in credit cards. I stopped at Marshall Fields and I went in just to look at the dresses (just to look) and I found the most beautiful dress in the world. VAVAVAOOM!!! I look hot in it. Okay, I know that totally sounds narcissistic but I think weight loss can lead to narcissism because I really like what I look like. I usually would have spent so much but the dress, well; it was calling my name. When I put it on, I just had to have it. It’s a Liz Claiborne dress that was reduced from $120 to $60…in a size 14! Okay, the one thing about it being a 14 is that I was NEVER a 14 when I weighed 171…now I am? Humm, I don’t get it. Back to the dress, I decided to buy it. Then I wandered over to the plus size section and they were practically giving tops away for $2.99! So I bought some stuff for Ebay because you can’t go wrong. Then I found a Kasper 3 piece suit and I got that for $29.00. So I walked out of there with a ton of stuff. Since I bought the dress, I needed to buy a bra so where else did I go? I went to Victoria’s Secret. Okay, I have been avoiding this place like the plague because I’ve always felt intimated buy all the bras. So I go in there, check the clearance bins. I picked out a few bras and then I asked to try them on. I told the woman that I was a Vicki’s Virgin since I’ve never been shopping there before so she asked me if I needed sizing and I immediately thought “No way in hell” but instead I said “Maybe, I’ll let you know”. So I get into the dressing room and try the stuff on. Well, the bras were simply not fitting me right. I got the nerve and asked her to size me. After being measured, I found out that I’m a 36D in a bra. Okay, I must have been wearing the wrong bras in the past because I never wore a D cup. So I found some bras that gave me a little lift and I bought one strapless for the dress, one for work, and a pair of nice underwear for $90. I think I almost fainted when she said $90 but I thought this makes up for all the years of never shopping there. Then I hit Kohl’s and I bought some more bras. Now I just need some new undies since mine are too big anymore. So needless to say, I dropped some serious change.

As for not losing this week, that’s fine. I think it’s because I actually ate in my new point range this week and then I ovulated yesterday. Usually when I ovulate, I tend to gain some water weight. Yes, I can tell when I ovulate because it hurts like hell. I doubt that I will ever want to have sex when this happens because my abdomen is usually in knots. So I maintained. I’m speculating that next week it will work itself out right. Maintaining is always better than a gain and if a gain happens, hell, it’s not the end of the worlds. Strange things happen to women’s bodies and weights fluctuate.

The majority of the weekend was spent at home. After I got home from shopping, I chatted on the phone with Bonnie, Teresa, and the folks. Then I tried my stuff on and listened to some music. I avoided the TV because digital cable is now gone. Besides, the only show I really follow is ALIAS and that’s on tonight. Today, my plan is to go to Bonnies and set her up with burning some CDS and practicing some ebay stuff. I figure that will occupy my whole afternoon. Then I will come home and watch some TV and see the hoties. I just love Jennifer Gardner and Michael Vartan together…those two have chemistry.

My weekly update on cute outpatient therapist. Bonnie said he’s definitely single because work did this thing where you fill out a little bit about yourself and under family he put “I’m single”. We’ve been talking about cases together because we had a few families in common. So I’m working it (you know smiling and being my usual self). I’ll continue to work it until I feel ready to ask him to do something because I figure that I’m going to have to be the one to do the asking still. Besides, in a few months, it will be acceptable to ask. 2 months is too soon but four or five months is socially acceptable. Maybe. Though, I do cringe now when people asked how long Shawn and I went with each other. I figured out yesterday that yes, we were together 7 years but I only spent a total of 3.75 years with him because I had summers away from him and in KY I never saw him. Humm, maybe I should say 3.75 years…I think it sounds a lot better. Well, take care all-Kellie

January 6, 2003

Folks, have you ever bought an outfit and just dreamed of getting into it one day? Well, today is my day. I’ve been dying to get into this size 14 suit for about 2 years. I bought it for $5 at Hudsons (now Marshall Fields). I haven’t tried it on in about 4 months and a once impossible suit to even get over my bust/thighs fits me nicely with room to spare. I figure that I’m going to wear this for the professor’s retirement party at the end of January instead of getting a new dress.

I ended up having to go out last night for oncall. It was totally nuts. I’ve screened some severe people for inpatient psychiatric care but this one tops the cake….bipolar/schizophrenic off her meds for four months. She was in a state of incoherent mania. Pretty sad. So that made the evening quite interesting. Unfortunately, I missed ALIAS but Bonnie taped it for me. I brought home the tape tonight, only to find out that my old VCP (yes, a video cassette player not recorder) no longer works. That piece of shit. No ALIAS until tomorrow when I pop it in at work during lunch time. I definitely need to buy a cheap DVD and VCR soon. Argh. At least I have $300 coming to me from the oncall weekend and I have an extra $75 now from canceling the cable…back to the bunny ears!

Okay, it’s my two-month anniversary now from dumping Shawn and folks, pinch me because I still believe that I am dreaming. I wish I had done this ages ago. It’s a hell of a lot easier now than it ever was. When I get home from work, I’m happy to be home…not dreading it. Now that is living at it’s finest! Take care all-Kellie

January 5, 2003

Well folks, it’s a year to the day exactly when I decided to join Weight Watchers. Wow, what a year it’s been…a great year. I never guessed that I would weigh 55.25 less in one year but I knew when I started last January, I knew that I was doing to stay on plan and this time, I was going to lose the weight. So here I sit, a year later, and I can’t be more satisfied with myself. Last year was the year of change. It’s funny how things work. Basically, I got my shit together. I can’t explain why it took me so long to figure this out but it did. The funny thing, I’ll never regret being overweight. The weight taught me some great lessons in life such as empathy and what real confidence is. I had some confidence before this journey but I have such a different outlook now. It’s like a fire inside. Can’t exactly explain it but I feel a lot different now than I did a year ago. The burden of the weight and a piss poor relationship is now gone. Now, what is left, is a new perspective on life. Things honestly look a lot rosier and greener now. I’m where I want to be.

As for New Years Resolutions go, my goal for the year is to get down to goal weight, attend my 10 year class reunion for High School, pass the GRE, and eat more vegetables/fruit. When looking at my diet, there are some days that I’m not eating as much fruits/veggies as I need to. Therefore, I vow to change this. As for reaching goal, I would like to reach it before October but I’m in no rush. I’ll just continue to do what I’ve been doing. If there’s two tips that I could give I would suggest that you need to journal everything you eat because you would be surprised to see how much you really eat and exercise at least four days a week. Other little tips, drink your 8 glasses of water, keep your trigger foods out of the house, and plan ahead…always plan your meals or at least have a good idea of what you are going to cook or buy out. Celebrate your success and don’t dwell on the negative days because as Scarlet O’Hara stated “Afterall, tomorrows another day” and it is.

Not much is going on right now. I broke down and bought myself a MP3 player and all I can say, is wow, I’m in love. I bought a Nomad Creative II 128mb for $79.99 (the going rate for these are $135 right now, needless to say, my bargain hunting skills and CNET.com came in handy). I’ve spent the whole weekend downloading stuff. There’s a couple of songs that I absolutely love, Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order, Pictures of You by The Cure and Beast of Burden by the Stones. I’ve been singing these songs all weekend. I’m surprised that I’m not hoarse. I’ve stuck around the house all weekend because I’m on call. I had one call to go out on Friday but yesterday was quiet and so far today, it’s been calm. Knowing my luck, I’ll have a call tonight and I will miss ALIAS and unfortunately, I have no VCR. Bonnie, a co-worker, said she’ll tape it for me just in case. So that’s my weekend. I did get to hit Goodwill yesterday and OMG, I got some deals. I got a new pair of Levis Dockers khakis with tags for $2.99, a cute old navy sweater for $2.99, and 2 pairs of Capri Pants for summer. I’m buying some 14s and 12s for summer. When I reach goal, I figure that I should be in that size range. I love Goodwill…I really do. I was looking in my closet and I would have to say that 85% of it is Goodwill. The funny thing is that you would never know unless if I told you. I just cannot fathom paying full price for anything. It’s just clothes and they will wear out so why spend so much money on them? If you go to resale, throw it in the washer and wear it. Plus when you shop at Goodwill you are supporting their programs and rehabilitation programs.

Speaking of clothes, I have to say the best $15 investment I ever made was a push up slightly padded bra. My goodness, it’s a beautiful thing because my C cups look full and wow, what a feeling. I wore that red top (the pick is on the November ’02 page) and I looked damn good on Friday. Cute therapist and I exchanged some friendly greetings on Friday. Okay, I know it’s way too soon but he is so nice. But of course, he could just be friendly but I can’t help myself to gush a little. Me and a co-worker on Friday were eating lunch in the kitchen when he walked in and after he left she said “Kellie, I think he’s single. Have you thought about him?” I was like “Oh yeah, he’s cute but how many people want to start an office romance”. That’s true though but he’s a part-time therapist so there are some possibilities and my position has no relationship to the outpatient staff. The talk around is that he’s single but of course, that doesn’t mean anything. I’ll keep you posted on this. Regardless, it’s nice to practice. Though, I admit to being a total dork around men. But that’s me…I’m a dork and I’m damn proud of it!. Well, that’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since January 5, 2003