January 26, 2004

I defiantly figured out the problem of me not losing...I was eating too darn much! Last week I decided to go on the old plan after a 1.5 pound gain. The results were what I expected, I’m down 2.5 pounds this week! I figured I wasn’t losing on the flex point plan so I decided to go back to the winning points and hello weight loss. Well see how I do this week. So what did I do right last week? Well, this is what I did, I worked out 5 days last week (4 at Curves, the other with the WATP tape), I did NOT eat any of my exercise points, I ate 22 target points a day with 21 allotted ‘Flex Points’ for the week but I only ate 15 of those 21, I drank all my water, and attended the meeting. Okay, so I’m 59 pounds down and I figure I have 17.5 more pounds til goal. I can do this!

Chris’s parents are back from Hawaii but unfortunately during the trip my new digital camera broke and the zoom is not working so I have to send it in to HP so they can fix it. So I’m back to old reliable. Humm...in a way, that’s why I hate loaning things out because sometimes they come back broken. I would have rather broken it myself than to have Chris’s parents worry about it. Thank goodness for the warranty. So far with my two new computer purchases, I’ve had to use the warranty services twice. Once with my media center and the video card going out and the other with my camera not zooming in. I’m not too sure if I’m going to buy another product from them because I’ve never had any problems with my old gate way nor my old Kodak digital camera. As things get improved, do they get worse? Because I thought this stuff was supposed to last. I guess not.

Work is getting stressful. The office is amidst a controversy with a coworker. One of the case managers has been on ‘administrative leave’ for a week now. I guess there was some question of non compliance so they are doing a full review on his files. It appears that they are going to fire his butt possibly but we’ll know more tomorrow or Wednesday so that means we are having to pick up his slack until either he gets back or when a new person is hired. In a way, I wonder if he would actually come back. This has got to be horrible for him and besides that, I bet as soon as he finds something else, he’s out of there so it’s like should they take him back or let him go/ Humm, I’m glad I’m not in management. All I know is that I bust my @ss everyday and the best way to keep out of the hot seat is to fly low and do your job. People tend to not bother those who are working hard. With all of the scrambling I’m doing with work, I’m dreaming about it a lot. The other day Chris said I was yelling out “Case Management, Home Based, I can handle it!” Now that is freaky..where is my dream catcher?

Chris and I are doing good. We’ve been together for7 months now...isn’t that great? I couldn’t be happier with my relationship. We’ve been house hunting lately and so far I’ve seen nothing but crap. There’s got to be some great houses out there, right...well it’s looking like not in my price range. For $110,000 you can get a nice fixer upper...no thanks. I have nothing against fixing up something things but the majority of these houses have some major issues or the people are just asking way too much. I’m hoping some beauties will come on the market in the spring. O where, oh were can my bungalow be? I just want a nice house from the 20s or 40s that has original wood work...that’s all I’m asking for.

We might be going to Chicago this weekend to visit Chris’s aunt who is flying in. I would love to hit Chicago because I need a Trader Joes fix. I haven’t been there in 3 months and it is calling my name. What I would do for some of their tortilla chips, kung po chicken, and low fat Cabot cheese. So we’ll see. His family is complicated so I guess it’s up in the air right now. Hell, I would love to go to IKEA again. I still need to pick up some organizers for the house. We’ll see though.

Well, thanks for being patient with me. I knew I was going to figure this out. It feels good to be losing again. Here’s to another loss this week! Take care all-Kellie

January 18, 2004

Okay, I’ve been trying not to be so hard on myself but this is driving me crazy...why am I gaining weight?I'm really beginning to freak out about this because I don't want to go past 170...I've tried so hard. I’ve been tracking everything that I put in my mouth for the last two weeks and now I’m hit with another gaining...what the heck? So I got to thinking this morning and compared the old points I am eating about 26 - 30 points more than the old plan. Okay, so you are asking how did I get to that calculation? Well, I never ate my exercise points before the flex plan and when I calculated the old range, 21 would have been the maximum amount of flex points if I ate up to 25 points a day (which I did and still lost around a pound a week). So here’s my action plan to avoid any more gains..I will allow myself 21 flex points and I will not count my exercise points and still work out 5 times a week. I would have totally gone back to the old plan but unfortunately I gave the materials to my mom. So I kind of have to remember what the old plan was like. I’m frustrated. I wish I had old copies of my old food journals but they were stolen in the jeep. So I’m just trying to figure out how I can go about this because I do not want to face another gain at that scale on Saturday. I’m just upset and confused...I would never give up at all but I’m just so frustrated. All those months of staying exactly the same and then POW! After Christmas, I start to gain???? Thanks for listening-Kellie

January 13, 2004

Whoooo....tired....tired...tired...but I worked out tonight. I worked until 7:00 pm tonight, drove 45 minutes home, made dinner, watched my recorded “Starting Over” show, and then after some debating, I worked out with Leslie and the “Walk Away the Pounds” 3 mile tape. I figured since I was not able to get to Curves tonight, I would just attempt to do a 3 mile tape since I usually work out for 45 minutes at Curves anyways. Well I made my goal last week, I attended the WW meeting on Saturday, worked out at Curves 4 out of the 7 days, and at fairly well. I’ve noticed that again, I’m having a little trouble on the weekends. For example, I ate 20 out of my 35 flex points this past weekend. I want to try to focus on eating 10 flex points and less during the weeks time. I notice that I have been eating my exercise points to keep so that I can eat more points. I figured that on the old points system, I used to eat 24 points regular and never touched my exercise points and I steadily lost close to a pound a week. So I’m going to try to achieve that once again.

For all of you old timers at Weight Watchers, it’s always a strange time of year. The room is filled with new eager faces. This is my third year of being an eager face. As my leader inquired who was there last year, I was one of seven (out of sixty +) who raised their hands. Yup, 7. Out of those 7, I was one of 2 who had not met their goal. Okay, that’s fine and dandy but that got me thinking..it made me wonder about all the people who were there last year, did they reach their goal, give up, or otherwise? The one thing about WW is that I’ve never given up. I’ve went off track at times but I never officially said I would stop doing the program. It’s a good program and no matter what I think..I Kellie, cannot do this alone, I will always need Weight Watchers. I’m a naturally “unhealthy’ person at times. I believe the “unhealthiness” comes from a pinch of laziness, the lust for restaurant food, and a lack of time sometimes. When your busy in life, sometimes it’s difficult to make yourself a priority. Sometimes, I admittedly lose myself and have to do a search and rescue. I just need to continue to make myself and the healthy eating a priority in my life. So when next year hits, I will hopefully be one of the one’s who raised my hands stating that I met goal.

Last week, I was trying to find the culprit that was making me hold in some water weight. After much researching, I found that Meijers Baked Tortillas combined with Jacks Fresh Salsa was doing the trick. Argh, no more chips and salsa for me because it was just doing too much damage. Too bad because that was a tasty snack.

Speaking of food, I love Big Lots! Today I went shopping during my lunch and found some special K bars (20 of them for $2.99), some Ragu 12 instant pasta and noodles stuff for $3.99, 12 cans of ruby red grapefruit juice for $3.00, and Kashi shredded biscuits for $2.49. All low in points. Tonight I had the pasta, I cooked up some chicken breast, sprinkled some Parmesan cheese on it and it was absolutely delicious. All together it was a 6 point meal and it was made in less than 15 minutes. Okay, I know part of the meal was processed but it was 8 pm by the time I started to make dinner. Then for desert I had a Mocha Starbucks bar. These are great if you like the coffee but want to watch your points because they are only 2 points per bar with 2 grams of fiber in them. Okay, enough about food tonight!

Chris and I are doing great. My personal life is pretty quiet right now. He’s looking for a new job with another company because he needs a change. His current position pays well but eventually he will have to slide into another job because he flies bank checks so they can be transported to the federal reserve and since the banking industry is slowing changing, he would be wise to start looking now. There’s a company hiring pilots here in Grand Rapids but if he gets it, he’ll be gone a lot more and the pay will be substantially less. Here I thought social workers were poor but pilots are really poor. It sounds like they either have feast or famine. Unfortunately it will take him a while before he makes the big bucks but that’s okay. I hope that things continue to do well in my job because I can see how that can get scary when one loses their job. Luckily in Michigan, our fine Governor respects the mentally ill and so far, none of our budget has been cut so my position is secure (unless if I mess up or something). Last year, I made more money than I ever have. It’s a glorious thing for me to think, “hey I can financially support myself and I don’t need any help”. The debt I do have is inevitable debt: financial aid that will be hopefully paid off in a year and car debt. Now, I don’t have buyers remorse from buying the Jeep because I need super reliable transportation but the amount that I owe for the Jeep makes me kind of sad because that money could be going somewhere else. But it will be paid off in four more years and I will keep that thing until it dies (or gets stolen) so hopefully it will be good to me.

Well, I’m back on track. I just veered off the track for a little while there but I’m full steam ahead. My goal again this week is to work out at Curves for 4 days and stick within my point range. Still no pictures until Chris’s parents get back from Hawaii so be patient with me :) Take care all-Kellie

January 6, 2004

Okay, the holiday caught up with me...Guess who had some major weight gain...yes, I admittedly ate too much over the holiday season and now the scales have me tipping in around 168.50. Okay, I could sit here and beat myself up but I’m choosing not too. Though, I did beat myself up for about...humm, ten minutes. I went through that “Oh, Kellie, how could you do that crap”...but then I decided to have an action plan of what I could do to change. Basically, last year, I maintained. Why did I maintain...? Well I have a couple of reasons why I believe I didn’t lose so much last year...I kind of got to a point where I was like “hey, I like where I am’, I think my body needed to stay at around 160 just to recover, I went on birth control, failed to journal everyday after losing my WW materials/old records in the jeep, I decreased my exercise from 4 - 5 times a week to 2 - 3 times a week, and I just got busy and I didn’t cook for myself so much (especially during lunch). So my action plan is to return to eating 22 points per day, exercise 4 - 5 times a week at Curves and then add in some walk away the pounds tapes, eat out less at lunch...like sometimes I take lunch to kids and this is becoming bad because I’m eating out and not getting full, yes, I’m choosing lower point foods but they just don’t give me that full feeling thus making me snack a little more, and I’m going back to eating the foods that helped me lose the weight like I did in ‘02 (Boca Spicy Chicken, Cottage Cheese for lunch, Egg Rolls, etc.). Okay so that’s where I’m at. So far this week, I’ve been to Curves 2X and I’ve been sticking to my 22 points (but I admit that it’s difficult because I normally like to eat around 25 points). Plus, I’m going to spend more time on the WW website because that is a huge sense of support to me. So that’s where I’m at.

Okay, when did eating carbs become taboo??? I have to say that I’m sick of places advertising that it’s Atkins Friendly or low carb friendly. When places like KFC and Subways high fat wraps are being advertised as Low Carb friendly, I have to laugh. That saturated fat has got to go somewhere...can we say, straight to your heart??

I had a lovely holiday with my family and Chris. Lots of running but it was nice. I have to say it was probably one of the nicest holiday seasons I’ve ever had. My parents got my some lamps for my living room, Chris’s parents and aunt filled me up with a whole bunch of goodies like a heart monitor (but it didn’t work so I have to return it to Radio Crap), and Chris bought me a ring and some diamond earrings (which are just beautiful). We spilt the time equally between my folks and his. My folks went home to KY between Christmas and New Years. Carrie and Dennis came over New Years and we went to BW-3's for drinks, hotwings, and fried potato wedges (yeah, this is where that gain came from). Then we went over to Chuckee Cheese to play skee ball and had a blast...we gave our winning ticket voucher to some girl and she was ecstatic about it. Then we came back, Chris got in about 11:45, and we watched the ball drop. That was nice. Overall, it was a great New Years!

Things are pretty quite right now. Nothing too much going on in my life. I’m housing hunting but I go back and forth if I should buy a house before I get married. There are a couple of cute ones out there but I’m pretty unsure about the whole thing because I’m not married yet and should I be patient to buy a house or should I be aggressively seeking a house right now with the interest rates so low. Chris is moving in with me at the end of the month. I know I vowed never to do this after Shawn but it just feels right. Funny thing is that we never see each other at night, expect when he crawls into bed because he flies nights and I work days. His lease was ending at his old apartment so we decided that it would be a could idea since we could save some money and he spent basically 98% of his time at my place. We’ll see where it goes...hopefully it will be all positive.

My computer tv graphics card went out the other night. Kudos to HP for sending me an overnight delivery of a new card. Unfortunately, I missed my favorite show today because my TIVO on the computer wouldn’t work without the card. I have a kick butt HP Media Center and it’s terrific. I’m so addicted to the show “Starting Over” and I missed Jennifers wedding today..bummer! I just cannot get enough of that show. Okay, so I usually do not go crazy over shows that relate to me being a therapist but this show is just so interesting. Another show that I hate to admit to watch is Dr. Phil. Okay, cannot stand the guy but I’m addict to watch the guests. Got to love realty shows.

Well, no picture tonight. I let Chris’s parents borrow my camera because their digital camera broke and they are going on a Hawaiian Cruise at the end of week. My old one is buried some where and I’m too lazy tonight to dig it out. I hope you all are doing well and have an awesome week back in this New Year...Yippy for 2004! Take care all-Kellie

My Vistors Since January 6, 2004