November 28, 2000

Good news or bad news….Good news, I ate very well on Thanksgiving…Bad News….ate horrible all last week and I was a victim of social eating again…The social eater strikes back. Oh, I was the social eater this past week. I ate out too damn much and I made unwise choices. Same old, Same old. But today was a new day and I answered to the scale…and I accepted my consequences of my poor choices and I got back on the wagon. The leader today spoke of the key elements that will be a sure-fire plan of losing weight: journaling, exercising, water intake, and a healthy attitude. My attitude lately has been lazy…laziness seeps through my bones and I’m ready to get that laziness out.

Wow, I just visited dietwatch today for the first time since May…and the page looks great. It is clearly evident that I have been maintaining (I would like to think that) since last year. It seems as if I cannot get below 200. Why is that? Well I think that I’m afraid. Does that make sense at all? You see, I’m not fully challenging myself right now to do better, look better or feel better. When I woke up this morning I thought..Kellie, you’ve been fat since the age of 20! You supposedly are in your prime and you are wasting your life, dreams, and desires but not obtaining your goal. I’m keeping myself from my goal and it’s about darn tooting time I make some progress. Enough of this hovering around 200…I want to make waves!

It’s hard this week, energy wise. I think I’m in a funk emotionally. I really miss my family and I’m beginning to diagnosis myself as an adjustment disorder . Okay so I’m not suppose to diagnosis myself as a social worker but heck that’s what I’ve been feeling. I love my job but overall it’s rough settling into my new life and the new things around me. I miss my old life in Louisville at times. I know things change but I just have to adjust to things. I promise I’ll stop psychoanalyzing myself!

Well I found out an interesting fact today about my body. I am part of the lucky 20% of women that feel their ovulation. It’s called mittelschmerz where you feel ovulation pain. The pain may occur just before, during, or after ovulation. Just prior to ovulation, follicle growth may stretch the surface of the ovary causing pain. At the time of ovulation, fluid or blood is released from the ruptured egg follicle and may cause irritation of the abdominal lining. So it has a name because argh, come mid-cycle it’s rather painful. It will come in handy one day when I am trying to get pregnant but now it’s just a pain…a sharp one. Well that’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

November 22, 2000

I’m happy to report that I have been steadily losing for the past few weeks. Last week I lost a pound and this week I lost a pound for a total of 4.5 pounds in the last four weeks. I don’t mind the group at all and I honestly found it really helpful in the last two weeks. Last week we had a mock turkey day and I figured that I will have a 22 point meal tomorrow. I want a couple slices of turkey, 2 rolls, 1 c. of stuffing, 1/2c. mashed potatoes, and some pumpkin mouse, which is very low on points. For the whole thing it’s only 3 points I guess. You take some fat free pudding, 1 package of vanilla & 1pkg of white chocolate, 1 can of libby’s pumpkin, some pumpkin pie spice, and 1 fat free coolwhip and you mix it together and the whole thing is like 3 points! Can you belive that? So the big meal is tommorrow. I can’t complain about losing a pound a week. I think it’s pretty neat. So a pound here and there will really add up!

I think I have a sinus infection but I have no clue on what to do with it. I’m not too sure about going to the doctor just yet because as of yet, I’ve NEVER been on antibotics. Is that amazing or what? Though I don’t know how serious it is. I’m going to see if I can get rid of it myself but since PPD has been recalled, I have no clue on what to use. When I went to the drugstore to look at nasal sinus things, everything had PPD in it…not one thing didn’t expect for some nasal spray so I picked up some AFRIN SINUS. Hopefully, that will do the trick. I think I got this on Sunday when I went to a Prince concert. I went with this woman at work and I was really looking forward to seeing him. He was playing here in Grand Rapids at the Van Andel Arena. She bought the tickets on the phone so we had to pick the tickets up at the window. Well, the only time you could pick up the tickets was from 7 – 8. Well, there was a lot of people picking up tickets so we waited outside in the cold weather (about 20 degrees with heavy snow) for an hour and 45 minutes. By the time we got to pick up the tickets, I was cold, wet, and pissed. He started the show at 9:45 and “apologized” for the mix up. Overall, the show was crappy. He was doing medleys/remixs of his songs and half of the songs, he got the audience to sing while he played the instrumental stuff. It was a major waste of my time and $70. I’ve been wanting to see him since I was a little girl but I was so disappointed…Argh, and to get this sinus infection, well it stinks!

My parents are coming up here for thanksgiving. They called about 2 hours ago and I guess their car broke down in Auburn, Indiana and they had to get an alternator replace. Thank God, they had a car phone and they broke down where they did. Urgh! I hate it when my family travels because I always hope for a safe journey. Carrie and Dennis are coming over here too, so it is my time to entertain.

I would like to apologize to any of you out there if you are pissed at me for not updating the buddy board…I didn’t mean to not update it but I’ve been extremely lazy when it comes to my page. Grgh! I think this is a cycle I’m just going through because I love my page and I appreciate everyones support out there. But concerning the board, I have to clean it up a little bit so that it reflects people that are weighing in. I have a ton of people that are not on it nor haven’t weighed in for more than 20 weeks, just so it would become easier for me to update. There’s a couple of you out there I’ve lost touch with…not to pick out any names but I’m thinking of ya too! I hope you’re doing okay and drop a line to let me know how you are doing okay because I’m curious to see if you are still on the wagon. A big Congrats to Joy! A buddy who is now pregnant so her journey is a different one but I’m thinking of you too! So let me work out the kinks of the page. Take care all and have a safe holiday! Kellie

November 13, 2000

I lost 1 pound last week! Which was great. I weighin again tommorrow but it’s going to be that time of month again so I make no promises. I was pretty good this week overall, heck I was spectacular when I went to a Chinese buffet. Luckily, they had shrimp and crab legs so I dined on those items. I figured out of all of the stuff on the buffet, I owed it to myself to go after the low point foods. I figured if I skipped all of the fried stuff, it would really make a difference. Right now, I’m slowly losing the weight. I’m not too afraid of the holidays approaching because I typically do well, but it’s the after Christmas slump I fall into. I looked at my progress from last year and basically, I stopped losing weight around January of last year. If I could pinpoint my behaviors that were different, I would but I can’t. In evaluating my year, I would like to think that I was successful but the other half of me wants to feel like I accomplished nothing but dragging my feet. I must admit to joining weight watchers was a smart thing to do because I am accountable for my body when I go there. I must face my judge, and the judge is that scale. When it comes to the cohesiveness of the group…I find lacking. I have 6 cops (bad cop! No Donut! Sorry, I think it’s funny that the whole county cops are on ww…) and a few older ladies. They sit in their horseshoe shaped room (it’s a county commission room) and they have their established spots and they have their buddies…and they seam a tad bit caddy. But, I’m there for me. I’m there for the weighin and some of the group stuff is cool but if it wasn’t for that scale…I highly doubt if I would attend. That’s pretty sad for me to have this attitude but they are simply cold…brrbrbr!

Speaking of the holidays…I can’t wait til thanksgiving. The folks are journeying up to Michigan for the festive event. I got my turkey ordered today and I am all set. I really miss my folks so I can’t wait till they get here. It sucks that they live so far away but I’ll be able to visit them soon. I’m taking off 10 days to spend with them. Thank goodness I have 5 weeks off a year!

I’m continuing to treadmill. I hope to find a pool in the area so I can swim on Saturdays and Sundays but I do not know how possible that is. Well see. For right now, I’m going to stick with the treadmill because I have a lot of money flowing out and I want to cut back on things until I get some sort of savings built back up. Eventually, I’m going to be settled! :P Take care all-Kellie 237/197/140 57 more pounds to go!

November 3, 2000

Everyone, I lost 1 ½ pounds this week! I wore the same outfit to the weight watchers meetings so I will get an accurate weigh in. I must admit to having 2 high point days and 5 good days. This week was difficult after Tuesday because of all the candy floating around the office. I have a weakness for Butterfingers so I grabbed one a day, which it could be worse. I also started to treadmill again. I used it 4x a week last week. It was better this week when I weighed 208 ½ on their scale…though my scale says I’m 198 ½ so I’m going to go with my scale because I have been using it since day one. The meetings are okay but what I like is the accountability of it…I have to be accountable to the scale. I need to go there to the meetings and fess up my success or non-success of the week, and to tell you the truth I like that.

The one weakness I have now is still the social eating…I would have thought after being on this behavior modification plan for a year and half, that I would have learned by now but I usually give into temptation but I’m slowly learning how to make some better choices when I have a high point day. Like when I was out last weekend, I ordered chicken sandwich (no Mayo) and a baked potato. So even though I would have a 35 point day, it’s better than having a 46 point day…get what you like but cut out the fries (because they are EVIL!). I’m still doing the subway thing. I find that it has really saved on my food bill and I’m not throwing anything out in my refrigerator, so I don’t feel guilty.

I can’t wait until this election thing is over. Shawn is a staunch republican and I’m usually a flexible democrat (I’ll vote beyond the party lines for independents but never any republicans though). Shawn’s been harassing me about who I’m vote for. To tell you the truth I don’t like any candidate the two major parties have but Gore is better on Bush, especially for women issues. I’ll come out and say it…I’m pro-choice, I may not ever want an abortion but I believe women have the right to choose. Bush scares me. In all the candidates, I like Nader. If I didn’t live in Michigan I would vote for him because that’s a man who has looked after our safety for years. But my vote is too important in this state to vote that way because if Bush wins Michigan he will get a ton of electoral votes…Urgh, sorry to mention anymore politics but I just want it off my chest. Well I’m not telling you which way to vote but just be sure to get out on Tuesday and vote, okay?

Shawn and I are going to a belated Halloween Party. He’s going to be the scream killer and I’m going to walk around him being Drew Barrymore. Isn’t that cute? I’m going to walk around carrying some Jiffy Pop…I’ll try to behave because I already had a high point day this week so I am only allowed one more. Well you folks have a great weekend and take care…Kellie 237/198.5/140 58.5 more pounds to go!