September 26, 2000

I’m going to officially join weight watchers on October 10th. At the county building, across from my work, they are having a weight watchers work group meeting and I think it could do me some good to join. Then I could get the new weight watchers materials then I could hock my old materials so I won’t be out the $122 it costs to join the group. It’s a little steep but it’s worth the cost. I found a weight watcher buddy at work also. Her name is Bonnie and she has another 100 to lose. Now, I just have to go join the wellness center so I can work out on the machines. It will cost me $10 a month and bonnie indicated that she would be interested in joining. So I could have some motivation from a peer that could get me back into the swing of things.

I ate well last week but I did myself in on the weekend. Carrie and Dennis (my sister and brother in law) came over and we stayed at their cabin in Bitely, MI (a small hick town, 20 minutes from work). We had a blast…running around town looking at estate sales, looking at antiques, and going out on the boat and fishing. We ate out and drank a little more than I desire to admit to but at least I didn’t blow everything and I lost a half of pound. We are going to see them again this weekend to have the resale/lions weekend. On Saturday, we will be resale-ing in the metro-Detroit area (Mt. Clemens and Roseville area) and then on Sunday we will see the Vikings play the Lions at the Silverdome. I’m really looking forward to Saturday because I love resale-ing. Last weekend we finally found the 1950s retro table we’ve been looking for. I bought half a table and so did Shawn. We got one of those tables were it has the old fashioned chrome and we got the red Lucy chairs from Target to match. It’s over at his place and I’m totally jealous.

I have to admit I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed right now in my life. I guess I am just waiting for things to settle down but so far things have been non stop going since being in Michigan. I’m going to go in late for work tommorrow so I can get a Michigan Drivers License…oh, I’m not ready for a permanent picture! There just seems like there are not enough hours in the day to do things! Just once would I like a weekend where I can sit and do nothing but relax. I think next weekend is going to be that time. Shawn is going to Detroit to see Pearl Jam (without me :P ) so I think I will stay home and do absolutely nothing for the weekend. That will be just great! Take care all-Kellie

September 18, 2000

Shawn and I had a good weekend. We went to his parent’s home because it was his mom’s birthday. I ate okay but it took all of me not to indulge in the high fat food they were serving. His parents have put on a few pounds, especially his dad. Which is bad because he’s big to start off with. Plus he’s been drinking a lot too (but the family refuses to acknowledge that he is an alcoholic)…humm, what can you do. While we were down there I got the perfect pair of cat glasses from the 60s at an antique mall. They were actual old prescription sunglasses so it will be easy to put lenses in them. The coolest thing I saw there was an old college year book from Purdue circa 1947. It was strange to browse through the pages and looking at the people and thinking, “Jeez, these people are 75 years old now”. It’s always strange how people stand out in those yearbooks, like the way they smile or hold themselves. A pair of twins caught my eye from Ohio. They were in the same clubs & activities…and both held themselves in a “look at me” manner. I wonder if they are still living. It looked like those were good times back then. People were getting back from the war and things were all rosy. Plus, it made me think how great my college experience was. The sad thing about my own college experience is that I have no pictures. This was partly due to my weight. It’s like I’m missing part of my life from that period, yeah I have memories but pictures would be nice.

I stayed the same this week. It’s due to the monthly thing. So it’s a good sign that I didn’t gain any weight so I probably would have gained if I had stayed the same. Well, I’ll find out for sure next Monday. That’s it for me today, take care all-Kellie

September 13, 2000

Hi everyone! It’s mid-week of Phase Two and I’m doing great. I’m back to my good lifestyle change habits and I have been waking up at the but crack of dawn to walk on the treadmill. I must say it’s a great way to start off my day. Yeah, it’s a tad bit early but it feels good when it’s over. Plus it’s a great time to let me think about what’s going on in my life and what my goals are.

The eating habits are getting better…for instance, I took one of those prepared lettuce bags to work and I have a salad for lunch everyday. I’ve also been eating baby carrots, which is a feat within itself. I found a great snack to snack on, those apple dippers by Kraft that have the graham cracker and apple sauce…those babies are good when your tummy is growling!

I get my first huge paycheck…and just as I think I am racking in the dough, here comes the bills…car payment, insurance payment, school bill, living expenses…it just gets worse! The job is going great and they are breaking me in slowly.

The apartment is coming along okay. It’s still a tad bit messy but things are getting organized. Wow, I guess I didn’t know how much ebay crap I had. When I see good buys, I just picked it up. For instance, I got a beautiful Elisabeth dress really cheap and I turned around and sold it for 3 times as much as I paid for it. I’m telling you all, there is a huge market for plus size women’s clothing so when you lose, get rid of them on ebay or heck, even on that point, buy stuff on ebay when you reach a smaller size so you don’t have to go to a mall and pay a bundle for new clothes. Anyways, getting back to the apartment, it’s getting better. It’s hard to decorate though because I actually prefer not to have pictures hanging…is that not weird or what? The funny thing is my stuff doesn’t fit the style of my apartment. I have all of this 30s – 60s glassware and it just doesn’t fit in…humm, I will figure something out! Well that’s it for me tonight take care all-Kellie

September 11, 2000

Phase Two of the diet is going well today. I started my morning off with a 30 minute walk and I had a healthy breakfast. I think I'm off to a great start because I'm in that dedicated mode again. No more fooling around. I have so clear focused goals that I am going to reach before the end of this year and I'm planning on being successful.

The one thing I need to work on this week is getting all my water in. I haven't been drinking that 6-8 glasses a day because at work, the water is from a well. They have a cooler but I don't think my co-workers would enjoy me drinking all their water so I'm going to take a jug to work tommorrow. I jumped on priceline last night and I got my weight watchers meals for $1.79 instead of paying $2.99! I love that place. Well I'm off tonight, take care all!-Kellie

September 10, 2000

I’m back online. It took a while to get my phone on at the new place so I was without the computer. I have some bad news…I’ve spiraled out of control the last two weeks and I am up to 200 pounds according to Shawn’s scale this morning. I thought I had gained some weight because I have some of those strange marks and when I got on the scale, it confirmed it. I’m beating myself up a lot today. Mostly my mind is racing about how I’ve let myself down and how insecure I am right now. I don’t like feeling like that so I’m recommitting myself today…not tommorrow. I’ve been eating super crappy. With moving, I didn’t have my dishes out until Thursday so I had relied on fast food and take out. I know better than that but I was allowing myself to slip. In a way…I was talking the talk this week but not walking the walk. In my mind, I was rationalizing my overeating…like it was okay to overeat…I didn’t think I was going to gain any weight but in fact I did and I put it on fast. My old new habits were dying fast the last two weeks. My thoughts were about food, in fact, it was deriving my relationship. It seemed like I was hungry the whole time at work...I wasn’t eating enough, then I would come home and just ravish at the nearest fast food place. In retrospect this was bound to happen, my less involvement in the web page and letting the commitment to myself go by the wayside. It’s easy to let yourself go but it’s harder to get back with the program. Right now, I feel like a walking lard ball and folks, it doesn’t feel good. So it’s up to me to get back with it. SO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? WELL….

Enough whining because I control my destiny in wither I will be fat or thin. I hold the key. I’m recognizing my triggers, I know what needs to be done and here’s a list:

1. I need to get on the program again. Count ALL points and be committed to my lifestyle change.
2. I need to exercise regularly for my mental and physical health.
3. I need to think thin…not think fat.
4. I need to use my webpage for a sense of motivation and update it nightly.
5. I need to get my butt in gear because I only have 60 more pounds to lose
6. I need to forgive myself for slipping. I need to recognize the faults I’ve made and learn from my mistakes so it will not happen again.

Well, yesterday was also my 25^th birthday and I went out and bought myself a treadmill. There’s a Kmart that is going out of business in Grand Rapids so it was a pretty good deal for $199. Now I can walk in the morning and night so I can get a good workout. I also want to join the gym near where I work for $10 (my job will pay for ¾ of the cost to workout there) so I will get the freeweight workout. It all boils down to how much do I want to lose weight….and I want to dearly. I know I’ve been going through a ton of changes but now is the time to buckle down. So I was thinking of getting an email thing going like through that webring e groups so if anyone of you are out there, let me know because I’m in need of support. I need you all to keep on my toes and I’m sure some of you need that extra support. If that sounds good, let me know. So I am about to enter PHASE TWO of Kellie’s Weightloss Journey…buckle up for some major action!