Nature Songs ~~~~
MAY, 2002 ~
05/24/02 ~~ NOTE: Waiting Game ~ The visit to Hickory to get the index finger checked out was not satisfactory with me. There are too many unanswered questions about why the finger is doing what it is doing. After what it has already been through, the final verdict today was "it's probably just arthritis. Keep an eye on it and if you see any red streaks going toward the arm or any blisters with pus that pop out give me a call and I'll prescribe some antibiotics for you." Pardon me sir, but doesn't that put me right back where I was at Thanksgiving when it first became infected? Now six months later would it not possibly lead to a need to insert a drain in the finger again? Or maybe having to go into the bone again for more repair work? There was a chance of losing it then, it would appear that the chance for losing it is still a possibility!
I?ve had arthritis for many years (since age fifteen) and never has it been anything like what my finger is doing now. The whole end digit throbs and hurts most of the time. In fact, the pain is more in the end digit than in the joint connecting it to the rest of the finger. In frustration and wonderment, the supposition has to pass through my mind, "Is this maybe the beginning of the end of part of the finger?" At least my regular doctor will be able to give some opinion of what he sees and thinks when I go in for my checkup with him. Tis best I leave it in God?s hand and lead ...
A Song of Water Pipe Blues ~~
But wait! The bathroom floor is wet!
He begins to search from where it comes
And thinks it must lead over to the lavatory, !
Of course he is right and looks more closely,
Opening the door below, the cabinet is soaked!
Now to empty out all the things to see
Just where the leak seems to be.
The cold water line coming in is it.
There is a hole near the wall to fix.
No spare pipe that small is around
It's off to Lowe's to buy a short piece.
All necessary tools and supplies at hand,
Time to begin work and replace the pipe.
My in-house plumber knelt down to work
Oh, no, he found he couldn't do it!
A call is made to plumber number two
It's up to him to complete the chore
A fan placing the wet shelf works steadily
Blowing air to dry away the moisture
Suppertime comes and number two shows up.
He jokes about number one unable to work!
Off to the bathroom to repair the damage
It takes little time to get it all done.
A plastic pan is now perched atop a metal do-hickey piece (usually used for steaming veggies) under the pipe in case there would still be a problem. The fan is still able to blow air under the pan and continue drying out the inside of the cabinet! If need be, I am to call Wes to come back and do more work should any water drip again. It?s great to have someone handy to take care of things like that and not have to pay an arm and a leg to bring in the professionals.
May 25, 2002 What Does The Future Hold? ~~ That time in my life is approaching much too quickly. Hey! Here I am retired and should be ready to roam this good Earth. Retirement should be a time for enjoying the fruits of one's labor throughout all those years of working, caring for the family and being on a strict schedule. Once I dreamed of owning a yellow convertible to drive around during those years of leisure. Here the years on upon me and the yellow convertibles are back in style once more. Each time one is spied my heart skips a beat and those memories are alive once again. For now, getting in and out of one would present a problem trying to fold and unfold my long torso and pushing up to a standing position once out of it. That will remain only a dream of what might have been.
During the early 1970's Daddy Gordon and I discussed selling the house at retirement and purchase a RV to travel and live in. We were going to have a hook-up at each of the four children's homes where we could settle down for a spell between the trips and enjoy the grandchildren. We also were going to have matching motorcycles - Harley's no less - to take excursions when the RV was setup in a camping area. Oh well, that dream, too, will only be a dim memory of what may have been. There is no one for me to travel around with and doing it alone would be difficult to pull off.
On a more logical and saner level, I need to be thinking along lines of what I should do right here in this vicinity. This house is too large for me and impossible for me to keep up. I know down deep in my innermost being that it should be sold. Little of the acquisitions stored throughout the rooms are of any real value to me and even less useful. Things already offered to the children are still here awaiting their time to be claimed. Perhaps I should acknowledge the fact they may not be appreciated and cared for since they are still here. Maybe they should be sold or donated and not forced upon family members.
All four of the children have offered to have a space for me to live with Them. Cotton has sort of assumed that it would be up to her to take me in. She wouldn't mind the pets since she has so many of her own. Tbird and hubby made plans and built the lower level of their log house to accommodate me with a small kitchen area planned. For now, NascarKid is going to be living down there since he feels he needs a space of his own. There are the boys and their homes, too.
The other day I went up to Allan's house with him so I could drive his car back here. He was bringing the lawnmower and truck back here for the boys to use when they do the landscaping work for Allan. This place is more central for them and takes less time coming and going to different yards to work.. While up at his house he had a surprise for me.
Several years ago he went up on top of the hill back of his house and made a garden. It was dry that year and the garden needed to be watered. Turns out that the garden was up so high that his pump would not pump water up to the garden. The road up to the garden was so steep that the truck or tractor either one would not climb up when loaded with the extra weight of the water. He has not attempted another garden up there. He plants one here at the house instead.
He drove us up on top of that hill and announced that it would be the perfect place for me to get one of those newfangled manufactured home to live in after selling this house. He has leveled up more of the space and there would be a nice yard. I asked about a road because there is no way I would drive up and down that steep side of the hill. Not to worry, he had already considered that. He would start at the mailbox at the main road and come up the other side which is more gradual and actually less steep. That sounds good. I would be close enough he could keep an eye on me and help out when and if needed. Yet, I would have my own space and a separate driveway as well.
Other options would include a retirement center which offers housekeeping, meals, activities, trips, and all those little niceties of life as well as a private apartment. They remind me of living in a hotel on vacation. I do hope i would never have to take the road Mother has to travel. A nursing or rest home has many drawbacks and I am a strong advocate for the Medicare/Medicaid programs funding people to live at home with help supplied. In reality, it would have to be less expensive for them and the patients would be so much more happier if there was family around them more. Of course, I have to wonder about those patients in nursing and rest homes that never have visits from family. Would they be adequately cared for? I'm sure they could use even more attention than the busy and overworked caretakers can offer where they are now.
It's that time of life when all these things are needing to be considered. The little hitches would have to be ironed out before the big decision is finalized. I'd like to wait twenty or thirty more years, but for some reason, that probably is not a good idea.
May 27, 2002 ~ Ponderousness ~~ Oftentimes along the way things pop into my mind and I have to take time and ponder on them. One thought has weighed heavy on the gray matter since late fall. I have to wonder, "Did I do something wrong?" "Was it something I said or didn't say?" "Is there something major that has happened with my friend?" This is a friend that I've felt very close to even though we have never met in person and probably never will.
Yes, it is possible to make a close friendship or acquaintance online. There are those that have met their soulmate and made lifetime commitments. Some by accident and others who were searching in hopes of meeting someone special. No, my friend is not a soulmate as in couples. We have a lot of things in common with each other in our lives. We have a lot of interests which we shared. That leaves me feeling that perhaps I may have let her down in some way by not writing to her when she needed a friend.
My friend is Treeheart. Even if I never hear from her again, I'll treasure the times that we have shared together up until the emails I sent went unanswered. Guess maybe her quietness is more than just me. Her online journal has had few entries during this same period of time. Her last entry was the first of January, 2002. From the journal I know that she was depressed and sounded like she wanted to withdraw into herself. Perhaps she is spending this time sorting out her inter-most feeling. She lives on the West Coast; I live on the East Coast. Each time I check my email I look to see if I have some words from her. This has really be a dolefully ponderous time as so many thoughts come to mind of what might have happened. She could be sick or injured. A member of her family could be sick or injured. Perhaps her computer gave out on her. These are things that may never be answered.
Another fact pondered has been working out a suitable new page for my journal entries. I have the image in my mind of what I want. What I am coming up with is not the same. So far, all the webpages I have worked on, I done from scratch using HTML codes. These codes get too demanding and begin playing games with my work when dealing with applets and such! Another of my online friends has been having problems reading the entries with the new page I'm using. I've been going back and making changes and deleting items so the page will work more smoothly. I still have bugs in the work and time has come to make a change.
Gritting my teeth as I have to turn to my grandson, NascarKid, for some directions was the first step. I know that by using one of the page builders offered by Yahoo!-Geocities I should be able to develop a new scheme. NascarKid shows me some of the things he has done with his webpage. I know that much of what he has done is not a good choice for a page for others to read easily. I can see it now - the red flag floating across the page every time the cursor moves and the words swirling along behind. When the cursor stops the letters of the words come together to form the sentence, "Thank you for visiting my webpage." Very eye catching, but how well could you read the entry? He has something that bounces across the top of his page and the buttons to click to go to another page constantly blink and move about. I want a little less flashiness and more conducive to prevent eye strain.
Mouse in hand I began using a page builder for the first time. I must say, first off, that for me it is quicker to do the HTML! Of course, if I made less mistakes as I hunt and peck and delete throughout the procedure it could be a wee bit faster. Naturally, when I came to the most important part of the page - the entry - there was no way for me to copy and paste what I wrote on the laptop ... joy, joy! I discovered a text box that would accept the pasting of my entry, but the pretty background I choose would not show and that particular day, the box could not be made large enough the show all the writing. Then again, by using the box and the bar on the right-hand side everything I write can be posted on one page. Perhaps it will be better.... Time will tell.
The third pondering? This summer and the grandchildren. Me thinks that moi will be most busy listening and wondering about what who is doing where, throughout the coming days. All the boys are out of school and when they are home, they want to be here. My back is in no mood to be on my feet for very long at a time and I'll have to rely on the boys being able to mind their manners. They were all here yesterday and last night. Tbird's two were here until midafternoon today. They will be back in the morning along with Miss Giggles. She goes to daycare the rest of the week, but the boys are camping in here since Mom has to work this week at school. Summer will be a challenge.
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Lenoir,NC 28645
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©2002 by Stormy Jeanne
