Nature Songs ~~NOVEMBER, 2002
"Democracy is a form of government that gives every man the right to be his own oppressor." ~James Russell Lowell
November 8, 2002 ~ Passing of Time ~~ Time moves so quickly for me. You think that there is time to do many different things when, in fact it takes longer to do the things of the past. Adding new actions in with the old only serves to slow moi down even more. Even as I begin this entry, already the phone has rung to distract me for the moment. The distraction? Someone only wishing to obtain my credit card number with anticipation of my spending money with the company. After the sweeping grandiose intro on why his product is the best as he spoke freely with me as a good friend would talk - he abruptly hung up without another word when I told him my money was too tight to take advantage of his offer. He could at least have thanked me for my time since I could have hung up on him at the very first. At least now, all the phone calls pleading for me to vote for all the different candidates is over for a spell. One could use an answering service just to handle all the calls pleading for money and offering such a wide variety of services.
Taking Paint Shop Pro 7, Cascading Spread Sheets, DHTML, and Web Pages Made Easy all at the same time was not the greatest of choices for me. Two of them would have been a gracious plenty to endeavor accomplishing. As it stands now, I am learning bunches and bunches about each of the subjects, however I am way behind with getting the homework finished and posted for others to compare with their own work. There are so many options to learn and put into action as I work on my web pages. Once it is all implemented the work will be easier and quicker. It's the just getting all setup options up and running that will take me a little time to work out. I only need to set a particular direction to work in and stay with it. Some people would call that organization instead of spread sheets. Actually all four of the classes I'm partaking in are very much interrelated and depend on each other.
This hiatus I took from daily entries in the journal is a nice break inasmuch as I'm not taking the time to write each day, but on the other hand I feel I'm missing a lot by not noting some of the actions of the moment. As time passes it gives me a cozy, warm feeling when I'm reading about something several years back and memories come flooding back. Some things of this past year will be forgotten forever since there is no record of them to nudge the mind where they are safely (and securely) stored forevermore.
Another root canal down and one more to go. The last one took much less time than the three hours of the first one. Actually, it took longer for my regular dentist to prep two teeth for their royal crowns than the last root canal. Next week the crowns will be mounted upon their permanent and royal sites. The last root canal will wait until January since the dental surgeon wants to make sure the other teeth are doing well. A section of gum had to be removed for one of the crowns and the fissure on my gum is not gone completely. If it is still on the gum in January, he will go in under the gemlike and remove it permanently. Ouch! Why me?
Along with the classes I've endeavored to accomplish, my immune system has decided to stay out on vacation somewhere. My doctor agreed with me when I commented that it looked like the many months of dealing with the infections in the index finger had wiped out my immune system. One problem does not clear up and another pops up elsewhere. For now it is the sinuses, the shingles have not left either. From all reports, the shingles could decide to dig in and stay for a while. It likes to manifest itself by inflicting pain along the shoulder blade and run upward through my neck to the upper part of my neck and lower head. Headaches spread out and up from there.
My computer is working great now. Seems all it needed was more memory. I bought some and had Wes install it for me. Now there is three times the memory than before. No matter how long I play around with the PSP7, there is no freezing up, or warnings of any kind to alert me to shut down programs. It's wonderful to sit down to work and know that the computer is going to be working along with me and not against me.
November 10, 2002 ~ Overload? ~~ As all this new information I am learning bounces around inside the gray matter looking for a suitable area to call home, I wallow a bit in amazement. So much to learn in a short period of time, along with not enough time allotted to each new program, and I feel helpless at moments. Last evening I know that the correct way to work PSP7 was within my grasp. However, by adding tubes to the growing new knowledge, all seemed too overwhelming.
Okay! So I had spent most of the day out with three grandchildren with the car as our center of gravity. DynoKid had two soccer games with about forty minutes between them. Giggles had the playground area to spend her time climbing up walls and sliding down slides as sand collected in her shoes and on her clothes. NascarKid was along to help? He didn't feel well and spent most of his time in the car reclined back in the seat resting. The drive-through at KFC offered us a quick lunch which we ate in the parking lot back at the soccer field. Games over and there was little time for us to get back to their house for NascarKid to get ready for his band concert at school. Leaving them, I stopped by to spend an hour with Mother before finally arriving back home. Is it any wonder that all the new computer information was playing time-out with me?
Perhaps today I can take a little time and be more productive at the computer. At the very worst, if problems still abound, I can always repeat the classes and have more time to spend on each one. Right now I would like to erase what I've done so far this week and begin again. I have one week's worth of work to finish for PSP7 while I need to add a few more examples to the last week as well. Cascading Spread Sheets has last week online, but I haven't included it on the message board yet - it has too many errors blaring out. There is another week that I have only read over the work pages and should already have it finished. Oh, well, I'll have to press onward as I attempt to play catch-up. The DHTML class is very much like the first two, but I've already signed up to take it again with the good intentions of posting my achievements working with DHTML. This class found me holding back in the shadows as all the others partook of the messages throughout the class.
To really be learning from the CSS class, one would think that I would be changing over to that new program instead of resorting back to my old method. I really like the workings of the system and it would save a lot of work once it is in action. Writings would be spruced up and livelier to read and look at. PSP7 has much to offer toward making a more interesting web site, also. A tube, a click, save, upload and there would be an image to brighten the way.
Not only did I spend most of Saturday with Tbird's three loves of my life, they spent the night with me and Buddy Boy was right there with them. He and Giggles love playing together and they are beginning to hatch out some plans to do together which I don't necessarily agree with. More time is spent watching on patrol for some of those plots they work out together. Their plan for the night was to sleep on the pumped up bed on the floor. Bedtime arrived and sleep was not in their plans for the aired. Play was more to their liking. As things would go, the two of them ended up on my bed. Giggles' pillow was beside mine; Buddy Boy's pillow was placed at the foot of the bed. He didn't stay there for long after he dropped off to sleep. He moved all during the night. For some strange reason, Charlie stuck out the night down at my feet. He was not going to be pushed out of his spot by the two humans. I'll never admit to how little sleep was in the night for me .
Today should find me making a trip to Hickory to visit Mother's sister in the nursing home there. We haven't heard from her all week. Thursday night Mother was determined that it was the last night she would be at Shaire Center. She was packing up to leave and go by and pick up her sister to bring her to my house. Mother's plan was to move in downstairs and she would take care of her sister. None of us were able to reason with her at that time since she was so determined that she was capable of taking care of herself and her sister. By Saturday, she was still letting me know that she was tired of living there and wanted to come home, but her drive was not so driven as it was earlier. She had the whole system of nurses, CNAs and others running the home as well as all the residents moving out. The center was closing down and she had to come home!!! The center is still very much up and running with business as usual. It's getting more difficult for me to have to deal with these episodes of moving back home in which she dwells in more and more.
November 11, 2002 ~ OOPS! I've misplaced a day somewhere...
November 13, 2002 ~
Idiosyncratic Times
~~ Most definitely things are not going on as usual. Yes, I admit that maybe the family is somewhat different from what some would label as normal. Who am I to know exactly what may be "normal"? Listening to others talk about how things go on around their household and family certainly sounds a lot different than what we have going on in our home environment. Things are constantly popping up to alter the path we travel. However, for the past little while, things are even more disparate around here. Truth being admitted, this entire past year has had a more than usual amount of disparity's to contend with.
The finger episode in itself has been a lot to deal with. Thanksgiving is quickly approaching which marks the first anniversary of the medical trail that began the swollen finger saga. How wonderful it would be if the index finger were all healed and life was back on its mundane adventures. On the outside, the finger is looking much better. It is shorter and doesn't bend anymore, but the fingernail is still trying to decide how it is going to be operating. There is a very prominent hard ridge along one side of the nail and from that ridge to the outer edge, the nail doesn't cooperate with the rest of the nail. The natural cuticle base is none existent and what does exist along that merger of the nail base and the skin is strangely unlike the other nails as well as being uneven and much more of the nail is exposed to the world. Add to that the many times there is swelling when attempting to use the finger and the blisteredly looking red skin along the area where the infection manifested itself, and it is evident that complete healing has yet to be complete. The surgeon stated that as long as there is redness it is still healing itself.
Add to that all the other stuff medical that has occurred since that began and one has to acknowledge the lost ability for my system to handle even the simplest of germs and viruses. I've lost count of how many times I've been under the weather throughout the year. One thing is apparent. That is just how often pills have been prescribed for me. Having the problems with my teeth seemed to cap the events, but no, for some odd reason my physical self had to decide to bond with Shingles. Once more another unusual circumstance to have to deal with. I had to put off the appointment for the second root canal due to the Shingles. Now the third root canal is having to wait until the first of the year, so the place on my gum can be reevaluated. It will be removed surgically if it has not cleared up by then. As of yet, it is still clinging on to it's self. With the different doctors telling me it is coming from the teeth, I still have a gut feeling it may be tied in with my sinuses and the tube that went awry back in April at the hospital. The tube never showed any evidence that it would go toward my stomach.
Even today, I have to get ready and leave for the dentist's office. This is the day that two more crowns are to be secured upon their royal seats. Why would I agree to a midmorning appointment? Oh well, guess it's time to get ready to go already ...<
November 14, 2002 ~ ~
Ponderations Alive
~~ I love making up new words by playing around with them. If you stop and think about the root word and the suffix, it becomes a word which is not all that hard to understand. This new word is sort of a pun on another one heard often in this area: <i>"Sakes alive! I can hardly believe my eyes!"
Here it is barely a half hour into the new day and already with the loudness of the tinnitis ringing through my head there will be little or no sleep for me. The television is on to help drown out the noise, but so far that tactic is failing. Little Mss Giggles is sleeping so peacefully here beside me. She smiled the most beautiful smile for me right before she went to sleep. She was talking about sleeping at home and sometimes she would miss her Mommie and cry. Mommie is off to a workshop in Raleigh until the weekend, thus, I have her tonight helping out Dad since he has an eight o'clock dental appointment this morning. I gave her a hug and a kiss and told her that tonight was special because she had her grandmother with her. She gave me that beautiful smile with twinkling eyes, snuggled up closer to me and answered, "Yeah, I know." I gently rubbed her temples and hair as she dropped off into dreamland.
I drove to my own dental appointment yesterday morning absorbing all the bright colors of Fall. Just as people sing of the snow and the <i>Wonderland</i> created by the snow. Fall for us right now is creating a wonderland. Time was when I loved to walk through the fallen fading leaves, listening to the crisp crunching with each footstep. I had to walk through some at the hospital because so many people ahead of me had all the conviently close parking spots. There are four handicapped spaces and cars were even parked between those four cars where a wheelchair would need that space for loading and unloading. Once in the reclining dental chair, we all thought it wouldn't take long to set the two crowns. Not so! An hour and a half later I left with only one of them and a temporary cap. One fit my tooth perfectly and the other one was too short and too loose. It had to be sent back for more porcelin. Why me? If there is a flaw, it has happened to me this past year.
I've been cooking supper for Allan and Buddy Boy on Wednesdays since Buddy Boy goes to church not far from here for music at six. Coming back home I stopped at Ingles to shop for a few things and pick up a package of livermush since he loves it. Supper was all the things he loves - oven-fried livermush, french fries cooked on the upper shelf of the oven along with it, green beans and pineapple chunks served with the mystery Kool Aid. This was the perfect meal to bring out the paper plates, so little was left to be washed up. One slice of livermush was left over along with some pineapple. When Giggles came, she was hungry and her eyes lit up when I told her what I had for her to eat. She wanted more of the meat, but I promised her some today and gave her a pack of strawberry fruit which she inhaled quickly.
When Cotton was here, she laughed about my name for my journal. I had no problem with getting the same name for my new domain (which I need to get busy with and learn what and how to do things on it - so far it is in with my Tripod Fibro site.) We ran a check to see if any other sites had used the same sort of name and found three sites with the word "nature" in the title. If you take time to look at the words and consider the different meaning of each of them it really is quite logical. Nature used with the conocation of how things relate to other things or maybe the traits of individual items relate to my journal completely. I've heard folks around here say, "Guess it's just his nature to act like he does." or "Naturally, we chose to go along with the group." "It's hard to believe that those two brothers could be natured so differently."
Songs? Again looking at the word from all its different angles, it describes life and all its wonders to a T! Happiness, quietude, sadness, disaster, winning, losing, love, loss, home, work, outdoors, indoors - in other words, music perminates all areas of life and nature. So when I am entering my journal I am free to explore, savor, dispair, or otherwise as it all relates to Nature Songs. I miss a lot of good topics about life around here simply because I don't take time to jot down the thoughts at the time and they are soon pushed into one of those dark closets of my mind probably never to surface again.
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©2002 by Stormy Jeanne
