January 5, 2003 ~ Year's First Birthday Party ~~ Life speeds by at such a terrific rate, you only have to turn around and POUF! Another year is gone. Buddy Boy became a part of our family when he was Three and a half months old and weighed only eleven pounds. Now he is five years old and starts to school in the fall. He is a robust solid (heavy) bundle of energy and laughter. We are still in hopes that the adoption will take place, but he happened to be one of those chosen as a project to try new methods of foster parenting and instructing the birth mother on childcare by involving her with the foster home. Needless to comment that the project failed.

The birth mother wanted little to do with actual parenting of Buddy Boy. Visits were skipped and shortened by her. Yet, she is dragging the enviable out every way she can. Many things have taken place in the life of this tike that should never have been allowed to happen. One of those has the "questionable" meeting of these birth parents that the judge denied any contact by them with the boy. Looking over the situation it is easy to see what is happening, yet that one person who has made these "appointments" for getting them together with the child denies any knowledge. How blinded one can become to their own guilt. Better yet, how can one proclaim a love for a child and not take necessary steps to protect and defend!! Buddy Boy and Allan have been placed in a situation which most likely will result in the selling of their home and having to move out of harm's way and begin a whole new life among strangers.

The birthday party for Buddy Boy yesterday was filled with thoughts of maybe this is the last time we can all come together and celebrate his birthday as we have since he was a year old. We met at Hickory Dickory Dock again and all the children spent three hours running, climbing, sliding, riding and playing other games. The three story gym with all its nooks and crannies connected by tunnels, rope ladders and slides took most of the attention. This is the first year that the adults could sit at the counter outside the gated play area and watch as the children mingled with others. One of the Dad's there for the first time with his two year old son had to be inside with him, but even he took off up the steps to investigate some of the tunnels before the end of the party.

Tbird had a People-to-People meeting and couldn't bring Giggles, so I drove over to get her. I also got DynoKid to come along and keep up with her in the gym area. No way could I get around in there to keep tabs on her. DynoKid was more than happy to jump in and give a helping hand. He climbed and played right along with all the others. Miss Giggles wore her "crown" made of a sparkly chenille stick or two woven into a circle. Attached to the back of the sparkling circle were paper ribbons of many bright colors with the ends curls and love knots hanging down below Giggle's waist. Remarkably, it stayed in place for the duration.

Suddenly the PA system became alive announcing that the party room was ready for Buddy Boy's party. In a matter of mere seconds, or so it seemed, all the children came crawling out, ready to follow the birthday boy to his table. Waiting on the table for the eight children were plates full of pizza and a bag of potato chips. Their Staff Leader was excellent. She played some games with them during the time they were eating. Their cups were held on top of their heads as she filled them with Pepsi or sprite to their choosing. The table was cleared and the birthday cake opened up. It was a Bob the Builder design. Of course, Buddy Boy wanted the face of Bob and the cake had to be dissected in order to give him the traditional first piece. Then there was DynoKid asking for the sign: Bob The Builder right at the center of the cake and requiring a larger section to be cut away. After the others had their cake, the icing left along the edge surrounding cake was scraped up and put on a small plate for Giggles since she has the wheat allergy. (The cheese was scraped off the pizza crust for her to eat as well.) Presents were opened and ZAP! All those smaller heads once again were turned toward the play area and they were off.

I arrived at the party with two, but I left the party with three. The birthday boy joined us, overnight bag and all. He had been asking to spend the night with me and we were off to get Giggles and DynoKid home. Strangely, that's as far as Buddy Boy went as well. He wanted to spend the night with them and the grownups agreed to keep him, and so his overnight bag was brought it and after a short visit, I was headed home. I left home before noon, and arrived back home shortly after seven. It was a long afternoon.

I stopped by and worked on Mother's fingernails before time to pick up Giggles for the party. I got them cut, cleaned under the nails and the old polish removed. Today I'll return and put the new color on for her. She is already beginning to hallucinate once more. Surely, she wouldn't be getting another infection this quickly. I am still of the opinion that part of her problem now is trying to tune out the constant mumbling sounds of her roommate and her not being able to see. She was informing the CNA that she was not hungry and didn't want anything to eat for lunch. I set down a cup of beans and ham I had promised her with a comment, "If I had known that I wouldn't have bothered to bring you those beans I promised you for lunch today." "Oh, when did you come? I didn't know you were bringing them for lunch." With that comment, I placed the cup in her hand and put a spoon in it for her to use. She ate nearly every bite of the approximately two cups of beans and ham. When I asked why she ate so much when she wasn't hungry, she replied, "I wasn't hungry for anything on that tray, but I wanted these beans and I like them." Perhaps I should take her food more often.

Saturday was mostly a birthday sort of day, the first of many more facing me this new year. Next month will be two birthdays - Tbird's and Giggles.

January 10, 2003 ~ False Start For New Year ~~ A short recap of last year strongly urges a desire for a better year 2003. The index finger was already abscessed and been worked on before 2002 began. In fact, it set the stage for what followed. How could anyone have been prepared for all that took place throughout the whole year? In one sense, all would really be minor things compared to what some have to endure on a regular pace. In another sense, it was enough to modify daily life as it chose a very rocky path to climb upward trying to get out of the deep valley I had fallen into. Two surgeries on the index finger; countless rounds of antibiotics; H-Pilora which took me to the hospital for a short stay; sinus infections over and over; three root canals and two new crowns; the fissure on my gum which is still there, and shingles assault, are only the tip of the ice berg. At year's end I was ready to experience a better pathway to travel. So far there has already been a false step.

Last Saturday I was flossing my teeth at day's end. That's good and I was following the dentist's instructions of getting around the gum line of each tooth. Whoa! All of a sudden I felt something strange fall in my mouth. It took only seconds to figure out what happened. A crown fell off one of the teeth that the oral surgeon worked on the first time I went to him back in 1999. Gingerly, I ran the tip of my tongue along the gum line to inspect the damage. Least ways no shooting pain was emitted from the site. I waited until Monday morning to call the office. Having been closed since before Christmas that was the first day back in the office and they had a slew of people to work on. My appointment was made for Tuesday.

Trepidation creeping into my thoughts caused dreaming throughout the night. Such a little part of the tooth happened to be available to work with and I feared the worst. The crown clicked on tightly when I tried it, but past experiences reminded me to not try wearing the crown until it was securely sealed back in place. As it turned out my Dentist had to trim away more of the gum in order to get down to the tooth enough to work on it. In his own words he repeated basically what I had already figured out: little of the tooth remained and there is not enough of it to even do a root canal - he replaced the crown to buy me a little more time. If the crown comes off again, the tooth will have to be extracted. Ugh! Another tooth becomes a victim of the dry mouth syndrome.

You would have to agree that there was one positive act added to the time and efforts of my dentist and his assistant. Having known him for about thirty years as he began his dentistry in public schools and was assigned to where I taught, he gave me a pleasant surprise. After about an hour or more working on my tooth and gum, using medicine to numb the gum before trimming it, drilling around the tooth edge to remove the old glue, using various equipments and giving me four penicillin capsules because of my knee replacements, he had a surprise. He told his receptionist and me that there would be no charge for what he did on Tuesday. I could have hugged him for that, but the room full of patients waiting their turns may have misunderstood such an action. He didn't know how much he helped me out by not expecting me to pay upfront, or that my dental insurance was max-ed out and the new year begins February first.

The very next day found me driving to middle school to pick up BingoKid. He had a toothache. He had been to Charlotte on Monday to have his tooth re-packed that was cracked a year back when he fell and hit his mouth against the corner of the box blade on the tractor. Since the tooth is dead, the packing in the root canal has to be changed every three months or so or the tooth will be rejected by his auto immune system. This was the first time it has hurt him when it was worked on. I suggested to Wes that they needed to contact his oral surgeon in Charlotte which they had not done yet. A call to the office and the surgeon said BingoKid had an infection in the area and he phoned in a prescription for an antibiotic. It would be such a pity to up and lose that tooth after all the time, effort and money invested in saving it. The tooth that was broken off is buried in the gum line for now. After all his teeth have finished changing, the tooth and the piece of tooth will be crowned. That will be around the time he turns eighteen.

We both have made a false start for the New Year. Now to wipe the plate clean and begin anew.

January 14, 2003 ~ Nick-Nack Paddywhack ~~ I gave the dogs a bone-shaped treat, including the neighbor's little poodle cutie. She has been playing with Charlie when he gets to run free for a while each day. Saturday she spent the day running after Buddy Boy and BusyKid as they played out in the field. Charlie doesn't follow the grandchildren around like that outdoors. He and Oreo will stay right with me when I am out, but forget having them keep up with the little ones. BingoKid got to climb up the ladder into the apple trees as Allan instructed him how to thin out branches. It has been a pretty long time since the trees were last trimmed and branches crisscrossed in a maze making it difficult to trace down the limbs to be discarded. The little ones took an interest in helping out a little by dragging some of the downed limbs to a pile at one end of the garden to be burned. Ozzie Dog would have been right in the middle of the work and dragged his own limbs helping out if he were still alive, but not the little ones around here today.

Wes and Wendy got into the action outdoors by beginning at the opposite end of the garden and burning some leaves and the overgrowth of weeds that mushroomed into a jungle after BingoKid stopped taking care of his garden project last summer. Allan could only supervise the piling up of the tree trimmings and shooed away the little ones once the fire was started. He used this pile for having BingoKid and Wes throw on some straw, old lumber and more limbs that laid along the edge of the ditch and around the shed used to store straw when Allan was doing his Landscaping business. He had hoped to be able to help out with some yard work as his back healed, but it seems that will not be possible. Along with the huge pile of limbs from the three apple trees and two pear trees burning, Buddy Boy and BusyKid kept running into the house wanting me to produce some marshmallows to roast. I had none for them, but on the other hand, it would be a long time before that brush pile was burned down to a pile of hot coals suitable for roasting marshmallows.

BingoKid spent the night with me so he could watch the fire and before he settled in for the night he had the water hose spread out to the field and watered down the one corner of the garden area when the leaves were burned. With these burned leaves, there are still more than enough to spread across the garden and turned over into the dirt when plowing is done. He then dragged the hose out to the furthermost opposite corner and cooled down the bonfire around the edges "just in case" the wind gusted enough to spread the fire. All went well and by morning's early light only a few glowing red coals remained in the huge heap of white ashes.

I had some prescriptions to pick up at the drugstore, so we went by there before getting BingoKid a pizza for lunch. How could I forget that the pharmacy didn't open until noon? Over twenty years getting drugs from the same place and I don't remember they are closed on Sunday mornings! At any rate we browsed the aisles looking to see what was still left over from Christmas. It is amazing how much holiday items are still on shelves. I noticed a remote control fire engine which was about two feet long amid the items marked for half price. Buddy Boy has been wanting me to get him one and I still owed him a birthday present. B&N had sent me a DVD of Gone With The Wind instead of the Children's book I ordered for him for Christmas. They charged me for the book, but sent the DVD. They credited back the money paid and wanted me to pay again. Tired of playing their game which missed not only Christmas but the January birthday, I bought the fire engine for the present.

Once Wes had picked up BingoKid, I prepared to go over to visit with Mother for a spell. I missed seeing her Saturday because of all the activity here at home and having to watch the two smaller grandsons when they were indoors. Mother didn't answer the phone when I tried calling her. I suspect she is confusing her phone ringing with a new patient's phone across the hall. If one of the CNAs happens to be near, they will hand her the phone, but weekends are generally shy one making them too short handed to get everything done. I heard from BJ that he and his wife spent time with her and brought her a ham biscuit Saturday afternoon. That helped me feel better about not going over myself.

Mother has been enjoying her Christmas tree sitting on top of the television set. Some days she can see the Star on the top with it's cluster of bright lights. The wreath on the door was changed the first of January from the Christmas theme to a snowman and the caption, Let It Snow. Sunday evening I put the tree and several more holiday things in the big plastic bag I had stored in her closet. They ended up in the back of my car for the time being.

Monday Morning and I make the big leap of faith once more. Swimsuit on, water shoes in with towel, and I am dressed and off to tread water another time. I stay in the water for an hour as I talk with others in the pool and walk or do stretch movements. Some stiffness was felt as I climbed the steps getting out of the pool. The overwhelming feeling of total exhaustion made it difficult to get dress and headed for home. Once I made it home there was a surprise awaiting.

The stiffness and exhaustion kept spreading. Climbing the two steps at the back door was nearly impossible. Walking into the kitchen I noticed the message light blinking. Thinking Mother had called, I pushed the play button and listened to an unexpected message. Apparently, Allan's soon to be ex has been trying to place blame for her actions on other in hopes of taking attention away from her. She has told the Social Services something about me and the care of Buddy Boy. I am not his caregiver and have not kept him all that much here by himself. The SS Case Worker for the foster parent program was to be at my house at 2 PM and it is already 1 PM! Not much that I can do in that length of time, and Allan comes in shortly after I am home. We wait together for the visit which went well and the workers assured us that all was fine with us and not to worry. Worry! Who wouldn't be concerned with someone near and dear to the family is being maneuvered in the middle of an ugly situation that shouldn't be happening?

Thursday morning we will learn what sort of actions are being planned for the future of Buddy Boy and his family life.

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