Nature Songs ~~~~

FEBRUARY, 2000, continued

February 7,2000 - Funville was the name of the game this morning. So, I did have to get up at such an early hour! We left for the valley and Q4L at 7:45 a.m. so that Allie could get in her time on the bike before our water session. I'm not sure that I was quite all the way awake considering that I had to rise early enough to take my stomach pill an hour before eating, check my blood sugar, take pills, feed the dogs AND get ready to go. Yes, I had to take time to eat also since I would be exercising and it would be a while before coming back home. Never did I realize how much time would be spent away from the house for the day. It was just one of those days - again.

During our water exercise this morning, we did all our regular thingys and added a new twist. We were teenagers again as we circled around and tossed balls back and forth. No! We probably had more fun than teenagers would have as we enjoyed the ball being tossed up, around and back and forth to each other. The three balls were different sizes and weights. One of them became water logged and thus was heavier each time it was passed around. All of us were splashed as it would hit the water just before we could catch it. I lost the large beach ball and had to retrieve it from the deeper water when trying to toss it up and catch it five times before passing it on to the next in line. When that class was over, Allie and I stayed for thirty minutes of the aerobic water class which really gave us a workout. We spent over two and a half hours building up our endurance level this morning.

Once home, I was more than ready to rest. That was not to be. Mother had left me "three" messages to call her as soon as I got home. Seems that her friend was bringing over chili for lunch at the center and Mother wanted me to join them. I promised her that after I rested for a short time I would come over and join them by noontime. By the time I was home again I was done for, for the day.

February 8,2000 - I promised myself that I would make it to the water exercise class this morning and I kept my word to myself. It was only for an hour, but with a different fearless leader to take us through our paces, it was a busy and tiring hour. Only four of us made it to the session, but we all enjoyed ourselves as our routine turned out to be more on the aerobic movement side instead of walking and stretching. There was some jumping that gave me some problems and I had to watch my knees, but yet it was enjoyable.

Saturday I drove by the car wash to see about getting the Explorer separated from all the salt and slag buildup of the past weeks. Cars were lined up waiting to be cleaned all the way to the main road. That was clue enough for me to wait until another day. I noticed when I came out from Q4L today that the car wash was open and there was no long line, so I drove over and got a good car wash before heading back home this morning. There is even yet ice and snow on some of the roadways although the temperatures are getting into the sixties and near seventy during the daylight. A lot of snow is along the north sides of houses and hillsides. Many of the local people are talking about how unusual it is for our area to have the white stuff lingering so long after the temperature begins rising. We have an old saying that it is waiting for more to join it when the snow lays for more than five days. We must be waiting for a deluge this time around.

Mid afternoon, Allie and I took my car over to the Civic Center because tonight is our program which will be Camelot. Wes has agreed to take us over in time for the show, and I will drive us back home afterwards. From there I had to take over some clothes and a coat for Mother to wear in the morning when she goes to Hickory to see the Urologist about her kidney infection and problems. The center will take her down in the van, but they want me to go down earlier and fill out all the paper work that waits for any new patient going to a specialist this day and age. I don't stay very long with her since I am planning to go out this evening. Yes! I am excited about the evening.

February 9,2000 - The evening was wonderful! The show was one of the best we have had. The costumes were many and each more splendid than the scene before. The music and musicians were great. At the first, I was afraid that I would have to get up and leave. The fog machine pumped out the vapor getting ready for the opening scene and I began coughing - really coughing! Sitting on row E on the aisle seat is very close to the stage area and would be sure to disrupt everyone. I started stuffing in cough drops after the gum would not help. The cough drops began to work by the time the introduction was ending and I made it pretty good until the next time the fog machine started out again. I noticed that I was not the only one to be bothered by it. There were quite a few others coughing as well. There was no smell, but it left a dry feeling in my mouth and throat. By the end of the play I probably had consumed ten cough drops and had a handbag full of empty cellophane covers, but the show was well worth it.

By eight this morning I was on the highway heading toward Hickory caught up in the usual morning rush - bumper to bumper in both lanes. Years ago I learned that when on this road you have to go with the flow and keep pace with the vehicles surrounding you. It's not my favorite time to be driving with some talking on cell phones, some just rushing to get to work on time, and even those still primping and putting finishing touches on makeup and hair as they speed along. The speed limit is 55 MPH, but the average speed would be between 60 and 65 MPH. There are those that go faster.

I had time to fill up with gas when I got to Hickory. I can get it for seven to ten cents less on the gallon down there and with the cost going up every day, I'll save all that I can when I am in that area. I also got a decaffeinated coffee at McD's drive through. It didn't take very long for me to fill out the papers for Mother and I had some time to wait before she arrived for her appointment. It was lunch time when I got back home and now there are three more appointments to take Mother to in the next week and a half. Only then will we know for sure what is what (I hope).

When Lady comes to give my house its TLC (Tender Loving Care) she finds me in bed. For some reason I am totally exhausted. Resting doesn't really help me any and the rest of the evening is not very productive - except for propping up and using my trusty laptop to update my journal. BJ calls to find out about Mother and I bring him up to date. He offers to see if one of his daughters can help out next week when Mother goes back to Hickory to the specialist. That would save me a trip. I told him I would go with her this Friday when she goes to the local hospital for an ultrasound.

February 10,2000 - I strolled into Q4L this morning all ready to work and signed for my key. It was only after I got to the locker room that I realized that I left the key on the counter. Luckily I still have a small padlock in my bag and used it instead of going back to the front to retrieve the forgotten key. After locking my belongings and heading for the pool, I realized that I still had my glasses on. Oh, well! I'm off to a good start this morning, I see. I also remember that I had every intention of dropping off my list of medicines to be refilled. I left the list at home, so that will have to be done later today. After an hour of stretching, walking, jumping and cavorting around in the water, it was time to change and rush home to keep Giggles for a few hours today.

Giggles' hair is getting redder and redder each time I see her. She is trying to cut six teeth at one time and is on the irritable side. All four molars are showing signs of trying to emerge along with two upper front teeth. All she has had for ages has been her two lower front teeth. In spite of so few teeth, she is an avid lover of eating and has no problem with eating any foods she has a yen to try. She stands alone, but still has no desire to walk for herself when there are so many kind folk around to hold or carry her. Mom is in no hurry for her to walk and grow up too quickly as well.

I was invited over to PTO to watch NascarKid do his speech this evening, but was unable to attend because I needed to get Mother's hair trimmed before her next appointment. I hadn't realized how long it has grown until we were in the waiting room at the doctor's office the other day. After trimming it and putting out the clothes for her to wear for her ultrasound in the morning, I headed back home for the evening. I haven't even been to my computer today and checked my email...

February 11,2000 - Another of those days, it appears. I miss my water friends this morning and instead meet Mother and the staff member that brought her up to the hospital for her ultrasound. It is so much easier for Mother being transported in the center's van with the chair lift than having to get up and down so much when she travels by car. From the hospital, I run by the grocery store to get a few things and talk with one of my neighbors that works there to pass his time of retirement days. His wife is one of our water troop so we kidded a little about our time in the water. I remembered to pick up my prescriptions. One of them was on backorder. It just happened to be the one for my blood pressure that I was completely out of. They were able to give me three pills to tide me over until the others come in.

Finally, after all this time I decide to call and make an appointment to get Charlie and Oreo groomed. Problem! I can't find the telephone number. I have to call Wendy and leave a message for her to call and tell me the number. Seems I was looking up the wrong name as it turns out. It will be two weeks until the dogs get to have their beauty day quest. With any luck at all the weather will be nice and I can get them there. Since Christmas, one thing after another has kept me from taking them. Charlie has embellished my arm with an ugly deep scratch with his too long claws. It is definitely time for him to have a trim. That is not to mention all the mud and leaves he has been tracking in this past week from his excursions outdoors. He shall be relieved of some of his shaggy hair and long nails and hopefully my floors will be cleaner and my arms less scarred. Oreo mostly needs his nails clipped and then shape up his hair some. He is a much cleaner dog than the Yorkie!

February 12,2000 - I grope my way from the bedroom through the house to the front door more asleep than awake this morning. I have to unlock the door in anticipation of the early arrival of NascarKid and Giggles. Mom and Dad are off to Raleigh this morning. Tbird purchased tickets for Dad's Christmas present to attend the afternoon presentation of River Dance, live! On the way over to my house they have to drive through a thunderstorm and rain mixed with large wet prints of snow splaying against their windshield. They wonder about their drive down Interstate 40 and how the day will progress weather-wise.

My day is to include much more that just watching the two children. I turned down a trip to Hickory Dickory Dock for a birthday party this morning with a church family. A place that large and a one year old to maneuver around is too much for me to attempt. Yet, I still have to pick up DynoKid close to his school by 12:30 noon. He spent the night with a friend and fellow ball team member and they took him to his morning ballgame. From there we drive through Morganton and stop for pizza which they have to eat in the car as we go because NascarKid has to be on the other side of the county for his own afternoon basketball game.

We arrive in Oak Hill a little early which gives the boys time to finish their lunch. Poor DynoKid has to keep sharing his hamburger bits from his pizza topping with a sister that ravishes meat, especially hamburger. He has a little difficulty having a chance to eat for himself. He finally climbs in the back of the Explorer away from her so he can also partake of his very own hamburger pizza with no cheese. NascasrKid has time to run into the boy's restroom and change into his uniform and bring his street clothes back to the car before the game.

I choose not to take the little one into the gym. There is a ramp to walk down, but I am not sure of the seating inside and how little Miss Giggles may decide to present herself during the time we are inside. I am parked where I can keep an eye on the door watching those going in and out. It amazes me how many parents drive up and left their child to play the game while they drove off. Tbird said that in all fairness to the parents you have to realize that many of them simply cannot afford to attend all the games; especially when more than one child in the family plays on a team. It costs her own family five dollars each time they all attend one game. That means with two games on the same day, ten dollars, and that does not include any refreshments which you must walk right by to go in and out of the gym. Children are greatly influenced by such goodies laying there within arm's reach. With the price of gasoline rising steadily, one would wonder about their ability to be able to drive the children around to various events.

DynoKid clears out the back of the car and we allow Giggles to crawl around and exercise as she plays with some of her toys and investigates where she is. He proceeds to give me a lesson on how to play the hand held game of Pokemon. Yes, he said that it was time for me to learn how to play the game. He was a patient instructor, but had to take over and save me on several occasions and go about the business of acquiring an array of Pokemons for my use in battle, and return me to the Pokemon house to be re-energized, and win higher levels, and, - well, he finally ended up playing the game for me. I was relieved to have his superb expertise take over. These plus and minus's, A and B's, up and down and all around bits of paraphernalia leave me with much to be desired amid all the confusion of not remembering what I am supposed to be doing in the beginning.

Four hours and about seventy miles later we return home to spend the rest of the day. Tbird and hubby return from their excursion shortly after 9 p.m. they brought back with them a video of the River Dance to share with us. I look forward to watching it this coming week. For tonight, I am tired. It has been over thirteen hours since they first left the young ones for our day of adventure together.

February 13,2000 - I awoke this morning with the ill effects of a "struggle dream" as my aunt used to refer to them. I drove up to a school to substitute for the day. I was very happy about getting to be in a classroom again. It was exciting for me to be going into a class of sixth graders. I walked down the hallway feeling such good vibes of being back in my environment of choice. This was going to be a day full of anticipation of sharing, learning, respecting and being a part of the educational advancement of a very special group. I walked into the classroom and I could feel such a great learning environment. This would be a wonderful return to the classroom.

I walked through the room to the teacher's desk and place my things on top of it and pull out the chair to place my coat. I open my mouth to speak. From there everything is downhill. Nothing turns out right. Children walk around and chat with each other as if I were not even speaking. One boy in particular is singing one of those popular songs where the same words are repeated over and over. A girl has on a head set and is singing along with her tape which she holds in her hand. I place something down and as soon as I turn my back, it disappears. It is obvious that I am being boycotted and I know not why. I pull the teacher's lesson plan book from the drawer, but I never open it. I feel by looking at it that the teacher has excellent plans and teaching techniques. It is well worn and is stuffed with little extras to be used in various lessons. I wonder if the class resents me being there trying to take her place. I am only there for one day, but it is a day that will never materialize.

I finally pick up a piece of chalk and write on the board,
"The life of every man is a diary
in which he means to write one story, and writes another;
and his humblest hour is when he compares
the volume as it is with what he hoped to make it.
-Sir James Matthew Barrie,
Scottish dramatist-author-"

A quietness begins to migrate through the classroom as the students begin meandering back to their appointed desks. As I speak order is restored from wall to wall. I speak my peace and frustration about not being accepted for myself and my strong desires for their well-being. Then, even surprisingly to myself, I pull a tape recorder from my pocket, turn it off and place it in my pocketbook. I walk over to a small camera in one corner of the room and remove the film from it and place it in my pocketbook. I tell the class that this was to be a story about my love of teaching and the joy of working with the Students, but now all of that is changed - changed forever- and I pickup my pocketbook and walk down the hallway.

I retrace my steps that I took only a short time earlier, but now my heart is heavy. I shall teach no more. The Assistance Principal calls my name and comes to speak to me. He tells me that now the class is ready to accept me for the day. I turn and continue walking toward the door. Utopia is no more.

I awake with the strange sensation that I have actually been there and done that.

February 14,2000 - After parking out front, we were greeted by images of red cupids with arrows placed on each door of Q4L this morning. Once inside there were more cupids and hearts gaily placed around the lobby in honor of those in love and loved. As we slipped our code through the side of the computer, signing in, picked up our locker key and passed into the gym area all became work and concentration on the matter at hand - improving our health. Zipping through the bike and Keiser equipment (twice around, no doubt) I was headed to my beloved water for an hour of experiencing freedom from the restraints of gravity, pain and slowness of body. My druthers would be to always be able to move and conduct myself as I am able to do while submerged by the buoyancy of the warm water.

A surprise awaited at my doorstep when I returned home. There beside the door on a small table I once used for blooming plants, was a plate of Valentine goodies. Mrs. Jay called to say that I had just missed two ladies in a Cadillac. They pulled out of the drive just before we turned in. Turns out that the plate of homemade cookies and various candies was a present to my Mother from two ladies of our church. I can't help but wonder why it was left here when she is only two miles further down the road. They had to get directions to my house, it would have been just as easy to get directions to her nursing home and she would have thrived on the visit.

The rest of my day is spent not feeling all that well. Whether it is a touch of a flu bug again or not, I'll never know for sure, but there is very little I do for the rest of the day, and I eat even less. I do get a few Valentine messages sent to my very special online friends and family and I answer the constant phone calls until all too late into the evening. I also enjoy watching the Westminster Dog Show from New York. I must remember to take in the second part tomorrow night.

February 15,2000 - So, I still feel somewhat weak and queasy! I shall still proceed to march myself to the brink of the water and enter into its welcoming warmth for an hour of freedom of movement. I happened to turn my left knee the wrong direction apparently yesterday and I will have to watch my movements a little more closely today since the knee is sort of swollen and touchy today. I think the problem is in sideways moves and perhaps trying the jumping jacks?

I wonder if the snow will finally be gone today when I drive down the road we use going to the center to workout? With all the warm days, thunderstorms, heavy rains and over three weeks of hanging around, there was still some snow alone the side of the road and in the woods on the north side of the hills. In fact there was some in the parking lot yesterday, but it was only a small dab mixed in with the broken pieces of asphalt loosened by the freezing, thawing and re-freezing water in the cracks of the pavement before being pushing up with the snow when the road scraper came through weeks ago.

I shall try to get over to see Mother sometime today and take her the plate of Valentine goodies that await her here. I will have Giggles for a few hours after I get back home, so it will be later in the evening before I get over to see Mother. Giggles has her one year checkup at the Doctor's office this morning which means she will no doubt get one of her series of preventive shots. That will probably mean that she may be a little fussy today from the effects of the shot. We shall see.
,br. One would think that I am full of vim and vitality as I dart from this to that and back again. Such is not the case. On the washed-out side would be a better description. Only someone with Fibromyalgia would understand the mixed emotions of wanting to do things, having to do things and not feeling like moving to do any of the things. My exercising gives me an added boost of an inner splurge of desiring to jump in and do many things. I really do feel like I want to do more things. I start to move and there is an extreme heaviness, dull pain turning into brightness, and a sapping of the energy needed to perform. It is as if there are two different persons within; each trying to carry out its own thing. One wants to move and do. The other needs to go slow and rest a lot. On the outside is an image of a perfectly normal person.

February 16,2000 - I circled around by the bank and the drugstore yesterday evening before stopping by to spend a little time with Mother as I ate my supper there in her room at the nursing home. I was a little more than disgruntled with the drugstore. It seems that my blood pressure medication, DynaCirc CR has been on back order from the company that makes it for the past TWO MONTHS. Yes, for two months they have been unable to send out any because they are behind on production of it. Why did the drugstore give me three pills on Friday when I picked up my other meds, leading me to believe that they would be able to fill my prescription by the first of this week? Why did I have to ASK them to call my doctor to see about changing my prescription?

I ended up calling the doctor's office myself after lunch today. I have been totally out of the current medication this week. The real corker for me was when the drugstore called to tell me that my doctor had no qualms with me taking two of the same pills that are only half the strength of the one I have been taking instead of the one that they do not have! This is a simple thing that could have been taken care of last week and saved me making THREE trips to the drugstore before finally bringing home the pill bottle.

Trivia: I saved $72.02 using the new insurance plan for a 30 day supply. With the insurance company using the 34 day plan they have devised, I lost $ 11.61 on the eight pills that I did not get. Over a year's span, that is $132.32 out of pocket loss just on this one prescription by not getting the 34 day supply - not to mention the extra $15 for the month included in the combination of extra days in the 34 day plan.

My niece is supposed to meet Mother in Hickory at the doctor's office in the morning for her morning of tests. Maybe I will be able to get in another morning of exercise. Who knows, I may even get in my first full five days straight.

February 17,2000 - We were kidding earlier this week about having a video to send in to TV for the Funniest Video Contest doing some of the things we do in our water exercise sessions.

Dedicated? We are.
Enthusiastic? Certainly.
Willing to work? By all means.
Systematic? Sure.
Agile? Well, to a degree.
Pleasant? The most.
Synchronized? Absolutely not!

If there happens to be six of us in the group, then there are twenty-four different movements going on at any given time. There is no way that we are able to move our feet and hands in rhythm together. We each have our own unique movements and timing. I know it must look interesting to those at the front desk that might happen to look at the screen and see our images parading across the pool. What would be even more interesting would be an underwater camera! We would be a sure winner of any competition for the funniest video with our frail attempts at perfection of body and form. Yet, each time we return, we are improving our techniques and styles and who knows, but some day we may be able to be the water ballerinas strutting our stuff together in harmony as one.

I'm not sure what may have happened, but my niece did a no show at the doctor's office this morning for Mother. If I had known, I would have gone down and been there for Mother, but, guess that is water under the bridge and little can be done after the fact. I do want to know what the doctor has decided about Mother and what may or may not be done to help her.

The afternoon is being spent waiting for the heat pump man to come and service my heat pumps. I hope he makes it today as has been scheduled. My system in the basement has been flashing red alert again, so I know that it needs to be worked on. This is the second time that has happened now. Maybe the kinks will be worked out without too much ado.

continued page three
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�2000 by Stormy Jeanne