MARCH, 1999~~~

March 12,1999 - La-la-land Day. Maybe that is a good word to explain how I do the day after a day out. t certainly explains how I feel by the end of the day and all I have accomplished seems to me to be nothing of much importance. At least it is not anything that is high on my own priority list of accomplishments. That is a lot of double talk. I DID get the dishes loaded into the dishwasher and washed. I DID get a load of clothes washed. I DID do a little on my genealogy works. I DID do a little computer stuff and check e-mail. I have been getting notices that things are not working that were on my lost website. DID e-mail to get the necessary HTMLs to enter the facts back on the new site and make it all work again.

I even toyed with the idea of making me a Dream Vacation site where I could begin to list some of the places I would like to visit someday and why I would like to go there. While we were watching TV together the other night, Mother's Roomy was talking about all the places she had been with the Christian Tours' Group. That is what she mostly did before breaking her knee so severely that now she is in a wheelchair and cannot put any weight on that leg lest it is injured again.

Truthfully, I have to confess that, "Yes, I am having pain more than usual today." My right knee is swollen somewhat. It doesn't hurt, but it is a little stiff. I must have pulled a muscle or something around it. The rest of me hurts; especially my hands. They have been bothering me quite a bit lately. I still think that some of the pain may be from the years and years of stretching exercises I was constantly doing as I endeavored to reach an octave on the piano. I came to be able to reach one note pass an octave. Could that be part of the numbness problems as well?

Any more, my best relief is to hold my thumbs out in the stretched position. That is why I wonder if it is the stretching that did it….. I know that I am due for another carpal tunnel on both hands. That is quite evident by the amount of numbness and pain spells that see-saw back and forth. The elbows and shoulders are adding there melodies of pain along with the wrists.

I chose not to have the "total job" back in 88/89 when my wrists were done. I still am opting not to have anything done - to any of them - as of now. As long as I can have my laptop resting low; wrists resting on the laptop, moving only the fingers, I shall not have to go back to a surgeon. Thank goodness, I took typing in high school. It is a life-saver for me now.

BingoKid decided to ride the bus to my house again today from school. His Grandpa called to see if he was here before he even got in the door. I told him I would go ahead and keep him until his Mother came to pick him up. He played on the computer for awhile, took Charlie out on leash for a good run, and ran with Elsie Dawg looking for rabbits. Elsie ran toward the "Big Road" and BingoKid got scared that she may get hit by a truck or car. That's the first time she has ever ran that direction. When she got back into the yard she was immediately put back on her line and chain. It does protect her from harm, and keeps him from feeling responsible for maybe causing her harm.

March 13,1999 - I must not get into the habit of doing what I did last night. I turned the TV to the Weather Channel because it is supposed to be bad weather on its way here. (Some years, it seems that around February/ March the bad weather comes through in bans about every week.) I tuned it in low so what I mostly heard was the music. I heard the music off and on all night. The TV was turned off at 5 a.m. If I listen to music I need to have the CD player on instead of the TV! Music does help me to rest better. It is something I have listened to at night off and on since my later teen years. That is another reason I wonder if I may have had Fibromyalgia all that time.

Doctors were saying "Physical Breakdowns", or "Total Exhaustion" or "Nerves" when problems would arise. I was told at the age of fifteen that I had arthritis and the aspirins began. My stomach was already destroyed by the time the world realized what aspirins and aspirin products could do to the stomach. I've had to use Maalox since my early twenties.

Allan has come by from the Paramedic Tour of Duty to get some of his equipment ready in case he needs it for the bad weather tomorrow and the Landscaping Duty shift. He must be expecting to have to use it tomorrow. So far this year, my own drive has only had to be scraped once and that was with the four to five inches of sleet we received - hmmm, that was a Sunday, too.

Charlie found the little bomber's jacket that came with Oreo a while ago. He brought it to me and would push on it and look at me. I knew that it was too small for him, so I got out one of his sweaters. That definitely was what he wanted! After he got it on he was much more active and happy.

Little did I know what was in store for the afternoon. I was planning to spend several hours with Mother and do some appliqueing on the quilt squares. Just as I started out the door, snow poured! It changed to sleet quickly. (This was called for tonight and tomorrow.) I knew that it was not going to be possible to spend much time with Mother. I did go out, pick up yesterday's mail, mail two letters, pick up two papers and drive on over to the nursing center. I parked near the door in a no parking zone and went to spend a few minutes instead of a few hours with Mother. Chances are I will not be able to get out tomorrow to see her.

Since the new Subway opened close to the nursing home, I stopped and got a six inch turkey on wheat for my lunch. It happens to be one of the fast food stops that I enjoy. I came on back and picked up the two papers at the road. The driveway was white when I got back. The Weather Advisory calls for about 3 inches of snow this afternoon. The way it is doing now, there will be more than that…

March 14,1999 - Most of the snow and ice is gone. Some is tenaciously holding on to edges of the woods and grass and the hollows of the oak trees. It's still a yucky-type day with rain, drizzle and some wind blowing; a good occasion for choosing to stay indoors.

Mother called early today. She is sick again - hoarse, coughing, stuffed up and miserable. The nurse had loaded her down with all kinds of medicines trying to find the right combination to help her. Mother calls it allergy; I suspect the flu that is making its rounds again. There is no reasoning with her when she gets sick. It is an allergy and that is the end of the discussion. It is remarkable what all the allergies of her lifetime can cause to happen.

The coming week will be a busy one. At least there is a La-la Day between each! Monday, DynoKid spends with me because it is a Teacher Work Day at school. His brother goes on a field trip for the day. Mom is showing off baby sister at the schools to all the staff. Wednesday I go to the dentist for a cleaning appointment. Friday, I have my doctor appointment. I think I do get a hair trim on Thursday. Wonder what else could be fit into the week…. I do have to get the supplies together for Quilter's on Monday. We are hostesses this month.

March 15,1999 - DynoKid arrived bright and early and happily took his seat of honor in front of the computer. He had been waiting for today so he could play the Stunt Car Race Game and try to beat his brother. There was no one around to bother him, but it wasn't long until he was ready for his Grandmother to come and spend time along with him and the game. That was a first for her, but how can one disappoint a grandson? As the morning turned out, he spent about as much time away from the computer as he spent in front of it. That's good to know it is not as dominate to his lifestyle as it is to his brother. His brother is a "natural" when he comes in contact with the computer. They become as one; the rest of the world is put on hold.

DynoKid left about lunch time and I looked forward to getting into some genealogy information that had surfaced. That was not to be for very long. Mother had called me about 11:30 last night. She was congested and did not want to go to bed. She wanted to come home so she could stay up for the night. I wasn't surprised when the nurse called to say that an ambulance had been called and they were transporting her to the Hospital Emergency Room. Her oxygen level was down to 67 and her blood sugar was down to 51. She would not respond to them much at all. I called and left a message for my brother, tried to local her sisters and headed out for Hickory and the hospital. I got there shortly after she had and had to talk my way into her room since she was not officially on the "board" yet. One of the nurses came by and said it would be good for me to be with her to answer questions and stuff.

Our stay turned into five long hours. She was not kept in the hospital, but sent back to the Center via a Chairmobile with the instructions to be checked by her regular doctor in a day or two and to have another xray of her right lung. She had prescriptions for antibiotics. How is one to plan a day or week when so much seems to always happen that is so unexpected and the schedule is totally turned around!

There are several observations I could make about her stay there, but I won't other than to say that in five hours she may have had the total attention of the staff for fifteen minutes. That included blood tests, xray and whatever else. I know they were busy, but her oxygen was not hooked up (she was coughing a lot) and the IV was left turned off. She had eaten nothing since the night before and that was very little. She had to be somewhat dehydrated.

Big Brother called when he got home from his own doctor's visit. He did not get any shots to his back this time. It was felt that for the relief he was getting from the shots it was not worth the risks involved to continue them. Tomorrow he is to begin hydrotherapy. I told him I would call him when I knew something.

About 8 p.m. I drove by Hardee's for a sandwich - I remembered that I had not had lunch earlier- and then I headed home. Home to my puppies, to check my emails, check my snail mail and head to bed!

March 16,1999 - This morning started off early again. Ms. Jay fell Saturday and chipped a bone in her ankle. I took her over for her eye examine bright and early. From there we dropped by the grocery for a few things we both needed and then headed over to the Nursing Center to check on Mother. She was not in her room. As it turned out, when they took her for her whirlpool she would not come back to her room. She made they take her to the dining room to play bingo. In her words, "I can sit there as easy as I can sit in my room. I'm not going back to bed." She defies the thought of having something wrong with her. All she ever has is allergies!

Those at the Center were concerned about her, but we all know how stubborn she can be…. When I finally got her back to her room her oxygen level was registering 74. They hurried and got her hooked up to oxygen again. She would not go to bed. When they checked her blood sugar, it was 54. They gave her orange juice with sugar in it. It raised her level to 57…. They gave her some candy…. (It's still allergies in Mother's eyes.)

The nurse talks with me about possibly needing a pacemaker. I agree that the doctor needs to discuss it with us. Meanwhile I mention it to Mother ("There's nothing wrong with my breathing, I don't need one.") I explain that it is not her breathing, but her blood 0xygen level and how much more energy it would give her. Knowing Mother, this is something she has to grow into. She would never agree on the spur of the moment. Also, I can get one of my nieces to talk with her. Allan is going over and check her out as well. He wants us to take her to another hospital if she goes back again… We shall see.

My afternoon included spending an hour in the Spa with Ms. Jay. Her doctor told her to soak her ankle and exercise it some. The Spa is a wonderful place for both. I enjoyed having company while using it. So many times, one is a lonely number.

Incidentally, while looking up telephone numbers in the emergency room in order to contact family members, I happened to notice my calendar. My regular doctor's visit was this past Friday instead of this coming Friday. Now I have to call and make another appointment. No, this week is definitely not coming out as planned. I am still on for the dentist in the morning. That much has not changed. They called to remind me. The doctor sent me a card three weeks ago. That was much too early for the type of memory I have been experiencing lately. Maybe I am the one that now needs someone to take over for me? I hope not. I am way too young for that. I must be more attentive to watching my calendar and keeping up with the things listed on it. I could also carry a little book to write down things to help me remember all those incidentals that pop up unexpectedly. I have bunches of them. Ms. Jay just reminded me today that I had to buy stuff to fix for our luncheon on Monday. Time is slipping up quickly…

March 17,1999 - How many people got to go to the dentist for St. Patrick's Day! I not only went but found out that because of the stroke after-affects, there has to be another crown placed upon one of my royal teeth. No need to worry about any valuables left at home getting stolen or losing them elsewhere. They will all be in my mouth, at the rate I am going. Guess I have to admit that I am depressed. Just seems that too many things are not going the way I think they should be going. Some of them I can not even talk about - to anyone. It would not seem as overwhelming if there was someone to discuss things with. I didn't even bother to call the church when Mother went into the emergency room Monday. I figured they were all busy and I would just have to depend on mainstreaming to God without going through them. I miss Betty Dula, especially at times like this. She was always there for me. She always had a prayer, a scripture, and just the right words. She knew when I needed a phone call from a friend.

I stopped by Subway and got a small turkey on wheat for lunch. On a whim, I got a regular ham and cheese on sourdough sandwich for Mother. We ate our lunch together in her room. She enjoyed the sandwich so much that the nurse had them to hold her tray in the kitchen. The nurse was happy to see Mother eating something and especially happy when it was all eaten. She didn't get out of bed today, and has been on oxygen around the clock. I sat with her for awhile and appliquéd on one of my quilt squares.

Wes came by and turned up the thermostat on the Spa for me. It was not quite as warm as I wanted it to be. While he was here, I also had him show me how to upload a screen saver I had downloaded from the 'net this afternoon. Whether I remember how to do it next time is yet to be seen. It downloaded on my zip as DOS and I was doing the wrong thing to retrieve it. Here I go being negative again. Some days it is just hard to be optimistic about circumstances. On the plus side, I am really happy with Wes! He has gone a week now without smoking!! Yes! He has joined a special group at work that are working together on stopping. It is something that I have never had a desire to do and don't see how others can stand all that smoke….maybe that is way I never liked it… all that smoke!

Tomorrow should be a day to take it easy.. The way the week has gone so far, that will not happen. I do need to get some medicines refilled, and there is the bank to go to, and I still haven't taken care of a paper I have to get signed and back to the state retirement system, and I should get my taxes together so they can be filed. That is a full day there. Friday will be spent with Tbird. I get a hair cut and she gets highlighted. I have to make another appointment with my doctor, too.

I remember hitting my elbow on something and thinking at the time it felt like I may have broken something. It is as black as black can be, but most of the soreness is up in my shoulder. I must have jammed it when I hit my elbow. I have a way of pushing too hard at times. That was one of those times.

March 18,1999 - Lately, I have been a lot more conscious of my surroundings earlier in the mornings than usual. I laid in bed this morning and listened to my robin outside the window at the crack of dawn along with the other birds. They are really singing their songs of spring with this seventy degree weather we are having. It is easy to see why the old saying, "the early bird gets the worm" carries so much truth. I am one of those birds that is not quite so early. It takes awhile for me to stretch my own wings and gingeringly get myself into motion for the day ahead.

I am not and have never been one of those "up and at'um", "let's get this day going" personalities. It takes time for me to unfold and move. I savor each moment of the remaining quietness of the morning before attacking tasks ahead. It is the evening time that I am more creative and productive. Given an alternative I would rather have a natural setting type environment around me instead of the bustling vigorous sounds and movements of city life.

I love watching the animals, such as the squirrels scurrying out to the utmost spreading tips of the oak trees for tasty bits of the new sprouts, or the large woodpecker searching for its meal. Even my domesticated pets have endearing charm and a devotion that much of the present-day life of progress does not allow time in favor of partaking. Progress rushes on; forget persons and personalities; time and money is of an essence in big city life.

March 19,1999 - A cut for me and lightening for my daughter - we are all set for another month now with our hair. Little Giggles decided to sleep through most of our jaunt out and about. She is already adjusting to her life of going and coming a lot. I got the recipe for the dish I have to fix for the luncheon on Monday. One lady is unable to help us out because she has been called in to work that day.

Ms. Jay got a call this morning that she has to be back in the doctor's office first thing Monday morning because something unexpected showed up on her x-ray of her ankle. She was cautioned to be sure and stay on her crutches until then.

I am lucky that Tbird is going to be able to go with me on Monday and help out with the serving and getting ready of every thing. That gives her a chance to talk with another lady there about possibly baby-sitting a few days a week for her when she goes back to work in August. Daddy was to keep Giggles when she went back to work, but as it turns out he has accepted a teaching position at the Community College and will need someone to help out for those days that he will be teaching.

We got some work done on Tbird's National Teacher's Certification that she is working on now. I take care of the baby while she does the computer editing of her papers she has to get finished up and in the mail by the end of the month. It is quite a tedious work having to follow the rules to a "tee", and having everything in exactly the right order. It will be a fairly large box of papers to mail off when it is finally finished. Just hope that she passes everything on the first try. Otherwise she will have to do parts of it over again next year. She committed herself to this project and was approved by the state to do it before she knew that she was pregnant, or she probably would have not been doing it now. It is a tremendous undertaking for anyone to attempt.

March 20,1999 - It was off to the grocery bright and early to get all the necessary ingredients for the chicken dish I am to prepare for Monday. I already have the chicken since I get most of my foods delivered to me several times a year. My visits to the grocery store are generally for bread, fresh fruits, vegetables and whatever incidentals I want to pick up. It has been over a dozen years since I have done all my shopping at the grocery stores. I picked up some milk for Ms. Jay and stopped by to visit her for a short while on the way back. I will have to get the things she is to have before she leaves for her doctor's appointment. I also want to pick some of my spring flowers to use for a centerpiece. They should be pretty along with several Easter Houses that I have to use on each side of the vase.

Tbird shows up after taking her boys to their morning classes at the Community College in Morganton and NascarKid's indoor soccer game after lunch. Again I take care of the baby while she works on another of her papers. About one a day to edit is all she can handle. It is mentally draining working on using just the right words and descriptions of her classroom activities and the students responses. She finally leaves for home and I run over to check on Mother. She is not eating and will not get out of bed…. Still very croupy.

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