Nature Songs ~~~~
OCTOBER,1999, page 2
October 10,1999 - Special rendezvous come and go as the years slip past. It is easy at times to come up later on to remember you have forgotten a special day or person. Other dates? Not so. No matter how long it may have been, or what events take place during the ensuing years, some dates are not to be forgotten. Such was yesterday. The ninth day of October, forty years ago, I was married and looking forward to a long, full life of togetherness. Today, as the years have flown by, they have been lengthy and brimming. There has been togetherness with my four children, but I have had more years as a widow than as a wife. The date is inscribed deep within me. It cannot be lapsed from consciousness. Nor can the date of June 5, 1975, the moment in time that two was no longer one be erased.
The grandsons were with me until mid afternoon today. After they left, I happened to think, "Hey, I'm supposed to have the Stack and Whack Quilting class tomorrow. I better get busy and get things together." I don't have the large flathead pins that I'm supposed to have. That means a trip too Wally World. After dark, I sneak out and boogie up that way. This is my first time back since the fender-bender, but I know that I have to drive to get things done. So, drive in that parking lot I do. On leaving, I leave the same route as the last trip, but I do take an extra look and go a little slower. The whole episode at the time was probably more of an embarrassment to us two drivers than anything else. Who ever wants to admit to having an accident no matter what type it may be or even if a vehicle is involved. It isn't easy for me to have to talk to others about the falls I seem destined to endure.
Even after making myself drive up to that parking lot, the store did not have the pins I was looking for! I picked up some long pins with small colored heads and they will haf't'do. To make the trip worthwhile I picked up some more floppies for the computer. Getting back to the car in the parking lot was a little hairier than I expected. Being dark, the pavement wet and slippery from the rain, the downward slant of the road downward from the building and not having a cart to help steady my steps presented a challenge and nervousness to say the least.
This unique writing course I have enrolled in is more of a challenge than I anticipated. There is an array of thought and planning - not to mention research - being put into the papers. Now I have specific information, and the problem is deciding how to get it compacted into a 1000 words or less. Problems facing the world as we proceed into the 21st century are mammoth; the world is a large area to cover.
October 11,1999 - All gear packed and ready to go. Mental notes made on what to wear and what to pack for lunch. I stay in bed until the last possible moment. This is another of those prainy days. It has rained all weekend and there is more today. This is not my best day for gallivanting, much less producing satisfactory results at the quilting class. We had to be in Morganton early for the 9:30 class. No parking space near the door, so I let Ms. Jay loaded down with my little red basket on wheels piled high with our supplies for stacking and whacking away the day with the gang.
All too soon I am aware of how much getting up and down and walking and reaching and cutting and ironing and moving is involved for this day. The chairs are low and the tables are low making it impossible for me to stand to do much work. I sit to do all that I can. Of course, the very first thing I did was to cut my triangles the wrong size. What should have been measured five inches by five inches, I measured five inches by six. Those sixty degree angles could not magically appear unless I do things more carefully. Before long all is perking along merrily and lunch time! A peanut butter sandwich, banana, and small can of fruit and I'm back to work using the sewing machine creating my special magic with the triangles turned into kaleidoscopes of design and brilliance.
Stopping by to see Mother on the way home and then, thank goodness, time to rest. The prainy day still plays teasingly with my body. Wes comes by to check on me and I drag to my feet. There is yet plethora to be accomplished before the day is concluded. I wonder about the sanity of attempting three online classes as well as the new quilt project, maintaining what is already in the works and whatever else may pop up along the way. The only rule of thumb for this household is accepting the fact that something is always popping up unexpectedly.
October 12,1999 -Is that a dim glimpse of light I see at the far end of the tunnel? Can it be that there is no longer any need for the cocoon's inner safety? Is anticipation justified? Can I? Will I? Should I allow myself to expect to carry through on all that is in the works? Far too long I have been shunning responsibilities of one sort of another. It feels good to be involved mentally. Now to make a schedule for following through so that none will be slighted during the course of the next few weeks. I accept that things cannot be as helter-skelter as in the past life, but how good it feels doing things.
First on the list for the day: Do the assignment for the writing class while it is still fresh in my mind. Stop looking for more information. I already have way to much for what I can use. Choosing global aging and it's impact on the 21st Century is mesmerizing for me as I locate more and more statistics and reports. Yes, it definitely is a problem to be reckoned with by all ages around the world. I shall send it in today and wait for my critique on how my first assignment turns out. Meanwhile there is also another assignment due this Friday. So - no rest - more work... and I have two more subjects to delve into? I am a glutton for punishment, obliviously.
Guess there were just too many things to do in one day. Here it is late in the evening and the assignment has yet to be sent. There is another day. I left home about 3:30 to visit Mother a little and leave her some cheese she requested. About six hours and over 60 miles later I return home. DynoKid had no one to take him to his soccer game between Drexel and Valdese because brother had a soccer games in Mt. View at the same time and Mom had a class at school to attend. Super Cyber Grandma to the rescue. (Here I come to save the day!) I drove over to his house; to his game where I sat in the car and watched as his team won; supper at McDonald's for the two of us; back to his house to wait until Mom got home and < B>then through the dark woods, over the dam, up the hill and across the many miles to my own house where Lady has nearly finished with prettying-up my house for the week. What a day!
October 13,1999 - A prainy day to begin with, but one that has already been planned in advance. We three cohorts, plus a visiting sister of one are to have a birthday luncheon together. My birthday came before I got home from New Jersey. Alle's birthday is on Friday. We combine the two and prancey off to eat Mexican in a little restaurant that very much resembled a Mexican environment. Good food and good atmosphere was my reward for making the effort to go, along with the fried ice cream dessert brought out for the four of us to share in honor of us birthday girls. We all had a lot of fun and from there, we were off to look over the new location of a favorite store filled to the brim with all kinds of pleading bric-a-brac, "Buy me! Buy me! Buy me, Please!" Just our luck that not only did the Treasure House have more room, but also had more delights to fill the room. There is something there for all of us.
Back home and to bed to try to reenergize myself and work through some of the prain I'm feeling this day. Tomorrow should be sunny and warm with the trees displaying more of their autumn color brilliance. The peak of color is not forecast to come for yet another week. The dogwoods have reached an aura of deepest, richest red that seems to gleam, and some of the lower leaves are yet to turn. My new water birch tree is showing signs of the bark taking on it's distinct marking of light curls up and down the trunk of the tree. The ground is covered with acorns and many more are yet to fall. I get into the Explorer to go anywhere and they roll from side to side along the top before tumbling to the ground.
October 14,1999 - Joyville! My very first assignment is finished and e-mailed. Now the anticipation of wondering how I did on it. What I wrote about was a lot different from the few who posted their work on the classroom bulletin board. They are about Y2K, computers and such. Mine is on global aging and the impact on the world in the years to come. I notice that one of the classmates of the HTML Class has a webpage where he puts his work by the week. I may just decide to make a page for my work as I go along and use it as a reference point for improvement. It seems natural to be doing schooly stuff again.
For now I have my other paper that is also due this week to write and get in so the afternoon is spent working on critiquing. It is easier for me to do because as teacher that is something you do as a way of life - so to speak. It becomes second nature. I end up with a few too few words, but I send it in anyway. It is only 466 words and the limit was set at 500 - 1000. I can't see adding words just for the sake of making it longer when they are not essential. After it is done, I have one more thing to do. There are ten sentences in which certain words are to be changed. These we post on the bulletin board for each other to compare and discuss.
Before I know it, the day is done and I have not gone out the door except to retrieve my mail for the day. I was supposed to go to Mary Jo's today to pick out some fabric for the new Stack and Whack works of wonder background material. I begged out since I've had so much running to do this week and tomorrow I will have Giggles for the day.
October 15,1999 - Bright and early comes much too soon for me. I am in slow motion, but manage to be up and dressed before Giggles arrives. She is here only a short time before the phone rings. It is Tbird. Her car is acting up because she is low on oil. See lost a car years ago for that same problem. Something tells me that she has not learned from that past experience. Being short of time and on her way to a workshop in Wilkes County, I offer her my car for the day. I will not be going anywhere as long as I have the baby anyway. I do have the truck, but strangely enough, I noticed the last time I drove it that the inspection sticker on the windshield expired in July! I need to get it changed before I do any more running around in the truck. My renewal sticker on the tag I got back in March and only this month got it on the license tag. It's time for me to begin driving my truck a wee bit more.
Giggles is not a happy camper today. Her head and chest are congested and it is hard for her to sleep. She is still not as cranky as some babies can be, but she wants to be held more and only sleeps about thirty minutes at a time. Thank goodness I have my assignments all in and not rushed to do them.
Later in the afternoon I mosey out to the bank and grocery store, forgetting what the traffic is like on a Friday afternoon. Cars and trucks are bunched up everywhere, and I decide to take the back road to the bank even though it is a little longer drive. From the bank I have only right-hand turns and the help of the stoplights to make driving easier. I whip into the BBQ place and pick up a chopped BBQ plate of meat, slaw and beans with freshly fried hushpuppies for supper. I munch on a few of the hushpuppies on the way home. I love the crunchy feel of the outside of them while they are still hot and fresh. I have enough on the plate for lunch tomorrow.
A new hurricane is heading up the coast from Florida. Looks like North Carolina is in for more rain; rain that the coast does not need.
October 16,1999 - Oh! Ouch! Groan and moan! Grumble ... rant ... rave ... whatever ... The barometer is falling for sure as Irene the Hurricane makes her presence known - and felt. We should begin getting some breezes and showers this evening with steady winds and rain to follow throughout the day tomorrow. The prediction for hurricanes and storms for this year called for fourteen. This is only number nine and most of them seem to be aimed at the coast of North Carolina. This is one time I am certain that the residents receiving all this repetitive damp weather are hoping that the forecast is wrong and more torrentual rains will not venture up the coast and decide to stay a spell.
Ms. Jay's sister is with her for two weeks and unfortunately, she has come down with pneumonia and had to go to the hospital emergency room yesterday. Guess we had her out and going too much for this week. Monday she was at our quilting class with us. Wednesday she ate out with us. Thursday she went to Mary Jo's even though she was feeling rough that day. She had other things going on in between as well. With today's medications hope she bounces back fast and gets well. It's no fun to be sick' especially when you are visiting somewhere so far from home.
I've got to get in touch with Wes and get him busy on the apartment downstairs! This repair work has got to get underway and behind us. It is taking too long to even get started. Lady has done the walls and cabinets and all that she can do. The rest is up to my sons and I guess if they do not get busy soon, it will be up to me! And too, BingoKid needs to mow my lawn again before the rains. One would think it is still summertime.
I got some work done on a new webpage I am doing on Relaxation and Meditation. It has surprised me how much I accumulated over the past dozen years. I am a packrat. There is no doubt about it. Much of what I have came from the pain clinic and probably will be interesting to someone. Too bad I can't do some of the tapes and music that I have in my collection. Of course, I have only put one exercise up for now. There are different ones that approach relaxing from opposite angles.
October 17,1999 - I waited around till dark for Wes to come over last evening. He was going to do something and said he would be over after awhile ... About seven I decided to run over and spend a little time just inside the storm door. I didn't even hear her come by, but was really excited about getting the book, Miss Fannie's Hat, written by Jan Karon, a North Carolina author. It is a children's story written about her grandmother and her love of hats. She moved just up the road to Blowing Rock to spend her time writing books. I look forward to reading more of her books.
I stayed with Mother for a while and watched a little of the Braves/Mets ball game before heading back home. I actually came back and watched more of the game, but missed the end of it because I got interested in yet another book. Our teacher online requested that we read the book,Word Power Made Easy, by Norman Lewis to increase our vocabulary knowledge. I am finding it fascinating as I read and work the little quizzes at the end of each session. There are reviews and progress checks throughout the book.
This morning has not been a good one for me. There is too much stiffness and hurting when I move much. It must have something to do with the weather and Irene. We got clouds, but there will be no rain for us here in the foothills. I messed around doing a lot of nothing for most of the day. The inspiration and drive to move and do has up and gone elsewhere for the day. Near dark, Ms. Jay brought out my two Sunday papers and came in to talk for a few minutes. Her sister is feeling better and is up moving around some now. Ms. Jay carried out my garbage for me since they come early in the morning. Wes never did show up or call ...
I can't believe that I actually turned on the Braves/Mets game again this afternoon. As the evening progressed I was amazed to see that the game was still going on and gave Mother a call (yes, she has called me several times today already!) to let her know that I am aware of the game going into extra innings. Looks like Mother will have fun watching her two favorite teams play each other in the playoffs if the Braves and the Yankees come out the victors Tuesday and Wednesday. While the game was on, Tbird called to say that she took Giggles to the doctor today. She has both ears infected and her medicine was changed from what she has been taking and another one added as well. If her ears do not clear up this time, they are going to discuss putting tubes in her ears. Hopefully, this is not an indication of problems for her with the coming winter.
October 18,1999 - Monday morning, Monday, Monday! The sun is shining. The first thing I notice as the sky lightens is the bright colors of the trees. This should be the peak of color for our trees this week. I am surprised though that my large maple in the backyard has lost most of its leaves. It usually has such brilliant reds and yellows. I hope that the dry summer has not harmed it. Many trees throughout the area are dying or dead because of root damage from the drought, but most of them are oaks and poplars. Many of the ornamental trees such as crab apples and cherry are dead and some of the Bradford pears. Mother mentioned that she is considering going with the van the end of this week to the mountains to see the trees. I was surprised to hear her say that she might go out with them. This is a first.
Allan shows up and putters around doing the mowing and putting the primer coat of paint on the new closets. I start to get ready to go over to the nursing center only to find that the clothes in the clothes dryer are still wet. I forgot to turn on the dryer when I took them from the washer! It's turning out to be another one of those days. Umpteen phone calls later along with other stuff popping up, it's close to five o'clock before I get over to where I originally planned to go in the first place. So goes another day in my life...
October 19,1999 - How many of those days can a person have? Seems I have enough of them that I am never surprised when yet another one pops up - again! Yes, Tuesday is another one of THOSE days! Mother calls early and wants to know when I will be over. I tell her I am not up to making it today. Her reply? "You are supposed to come every day." Click! The phone hangs up on her end of the line.
Ms. Jay calls and mentions that maybe she and her sister will come out. She wants Sis to meet Charlie and Oreo before she leaves for New York and home on Sunday. I set up my little Singer and work on my Stack and Whack quilt which I haven't touched since the class since she mentions they can bring out the bow ties she is doing and pieces her Sis is doing to work out here for a while. As the day progresses, I get a lot done on my machine piecing , but they don't make it out to the house. Now I'm hooked. I will have to continue to see what each of my blocks will be like. Every single one of the 32 blocks will be different because each of them are cut differently.
Mid afternoon my gears are shifted for me. A phone call and all is changed. Tom has hurt his knee. He is unable to pick up the boys and Giggles. Tbird has a Mentoring Class she has to attend until late which begins as soon as regular school is out. I'm off to the races. First to school to pick up the boys. They are expecting me, because the teacher on duty (whom I recognize) comes up to open the car door and says, "Momma Jeanne is here!" The boys told her I was coming, but they failed to see me driving up in the long line of parents and have to be called to come to the car. In this day and age children are not allowed to come out to get into cars by themselves any more. Teachers on duty open and shut doors of vehicles that drive up and if they don't recognize you they have questions to ask, etc.
All buckled in, we are on the next leg of the journey. Off to Morganton and Daycare to retrieve little Giggles is our command. When we arrive, we find that she has just gone to sleep and now has to be awakened. NascarKid takes her out of the crib, buckles her into the carseat with her blanket snuggled around and prepares to carry her out for me. He is quite good helping out. Once in the car, DynoKid helps with handing over the seatbelt and I safely click her in place. Now it is off to Lenoir, and waiting for Mom to come.
Luckily, when we drive up there is a box beside the door. I have a wonderful mail lady. She brings boxes and leaves them at my door for me. That saves a trip to the post office for me and/or keeps her from having to make a return trip with the packages. This box has some new videos for the boys, so it takes little time for them to finish up any homework and rush to the Sunken Room and watch the new films until Mom comes... Meanwhile, Giggles has no extra food in her diaper bag and dislikes my oatmeat without any fruit added to it. She has to make do with formula until ...
Lady comes and spends so much time with the baby and talking that she refuses to take any pay for the work done this evening. Even so, she got vaccumning and mopping done and some other cleaning. I'll do something special for her later. After she leaves you would think I would be ready for bed. I've been
up since about 7 a.m.; traveled over 60 miles; took care of a baby with ear infections that wanted mostly to be held (no, not fussy, she just wanted to be held); sewing a dozen or so squares and cutting more. Not so... the stroke effect steps in. My eyes will not close. There is no sleep in the future.
October 20,1999 - With daylight comes another ONE OF THOSE DAYS. Much to be accomplished. The quilting bug is urgently wanting to get more of the squares made. Phone calls to answer; a few to make during the morning. Some e-mail to check and answer. One of my online friends is scheduled to soon have her other knee replacement done. She waited longer between her surgeries than I waited. I can feel some of the stress and comprehension that she goes through as she prepares for that day. Looking back it is hard to believe that you have experienced the process of working through the surgery and recovery period and yet the absence of constant pain is a joyous reminder. I pray that all will go well for her this second time around, too. My high school friend that lives in South Carolina is very sick and in intensive care. I haven't been able to learn much about what is going on. I can only hope that it is not related to her broken foot and the surgery to fix it. There was some talk that she might lose it because of her trouble with diabetes. I hope that soon I will hear more from one of her daughters and that she will be improved.
I watched the Braves as they battled through 16 innings to win the Title and earn the right to play against the Yankees in the World Series. It's 1 a.m. At 2 a.m. I am at the computer defragmenting. At 3:30 a.m. I am checking the another part of the program and again at 5 a.m. I do something else. Meanwhile I have some classical music playing to offset the sound of the tree frogs that only I can hear so loudly. How I do wish they would go off and burrow themselves deeply under some wet leaves to sleep away the upcoming winter. No, these are not sensitive to the seasons of the year; only the bidding of my mind.
I had to negotiate myself through the rain today to go to the nursing center for the three month group meeting with the staff for Mother's care plan. We've made arrangements for her eyes to be checked again in two weeks. She is having problems with her kidneys and that in turn is a huge problem for all that are working with her. Mother is such an independent person that she refuses all the help that she possible can. This is one area that she is really butting heads with all of us on. I'm having to come out the bad guy in order to get her the help she needs. The more that she needs help, the more determined she is to come home. Today, it came down to, "If I were at home in my own room, I could die happy. If I die here I won't be happy." What could I say? "Well, Mother I DO love you. I don't expect you to die now. That's why I have you here where you can get the attention and be looked after and kept safe. I am unable to take care of you at home and do the things that need to be done for you."
On the way home I took in the bright touches of color splattered here and there through the trees. The colors are so bright and alive, but the paint brushes only touched randomly with no rhyme or reason to the pattern. The weather is supposed to drop down to freezing Sunday night and then the colors should be bolder and in more profusion. This is truly one of the best autumns for fall foliage and many a year.
Once home I try to rest some so I can sleep tonight. Rest? Sleep? For some reason they are both absent without permission. There is no rest to be found. It is strange. I have a problem understanding, therefore it is even harder to describe. It is not a stress or tension; only a sort of numbness that does not move. Perhaps, in terms of a computer, it is the hard drive and somewhere within it there is a bad sector that acts up once and a while. When it gets into that sector it is lost and spends around and around in its only little circuit - unable to break free or unfreeze. If it were a computer, I could go out and buy a new hard drive and replace it. Whatever the stroke shorted out, I can't seem to work through or by-pass. My daughter says it is natures way of protecting me from over doing. Perhaps she is right. I can only wonder, is this because of the courses I am trying to take? Am I trying to do too much.? Only time will tell. Here it is 1:45 a.m. and yet, no sleep or rest is to be found for the second night straight. If this persists, I shall have to ask for renewal of the Halcyon to break the cycle. That is the only thing that has helped me in the past, but not wanting to be hooked on it, I would only take a half of a pill the night before I would have something special to do the next day. When the pills ran out, I didn't refill them. Now, if it is a choice between trying to accomplish something positive or having to admit failure, I will try a half again. Maybe some way I can work my way through this maze and put those noisy tree frogs in hibernation for good.
continued BACK
© 1999 by Stormy Jeanne
