Nature Songs ~~~~
SEPTEMBER,1999
These are the days when the
Birds come back --
A very few - a bird or two -
To take a backward look.
~~Emily Dickinson
September 1,1999 - I am up early and dressed just in case the insurance adjuster shows up. Since I am having to stay close to the phone, this is a good day for paying bills. Yes, it is that time of the month again. It has a way of slithering up and catching me by surprise to romp off with all my monthly allotment, or at least a goodly portion. Least ways, one more payment and I will have my truck paid off - seventeen months early. That is more months than the amount of miles on the odometer. It shows eleven thousand miles and is badly in need of a good cleaning and waxing.
Good thing I was up, Wes came by and spent a little time with me as he waited between the time BingoKid had to be at school and when the bank opens. He will end up in Marion this evening.
The Disaster Master Cleaning man came mid afternoon. Luckily, Allan was here to go downstairs with him and go over details of what to do, etc. From their reports, it sounds like the rug and couch did well, but he said the sooner I can get the walls and cabinets, ceiling, and such done, the less likely that the mildew will grow and spread more. He commented that it is not a good sign that my floor upstairs is still buckling and swelling. It makes one wonder.
Of course, by the end of the day I still have not heard from the insurance company. I walk out to the mailbox near dark and pick up two days' worth of mail and papers. I stop and look at the chair that we decided to trash. The best way to describe it would be that it looks like a toddler threw food all over it and it molded and mildewed. It looks yucky. I don't know if I even want to see the rest of the area.
September 2,1999 - Early morning rising again. This is getting to be a habit. It is almost as if I were back on my teaching schedule. I awake at the same time, bright-eyed and a little less than bushy-tailed. My clock radio has been off this week. The grandsons turned it off last Saturday morning so they could watch cartoons uninterrupted. That is not the cause for early waking. Perhaps it is because some of the moisture and moldy condition is getting out. Even at that, the night was a hard one for me. If I had had another place to go, I would have left for a more suitable environment for sleeping. The cleaning of the carpet and couch in the basement must have stirred up the mold and mildew throughout the house.
I seldom have problems with asmtha, but last night was a bad one for wheezing and coughing. The Twitchy-Lung club came tapping on my lungs. I used to keep an inhaler the doctor gave me to use, but it was needed so seldom that I no longer keep up the prescription. Time was I could have used a dose of my daughter or husband's medication in an emergency. Neither of them were available either. I just coughed and wheezed and tried to breathe and relax. I knew that getting upset would be the worst thing in the world for me to do.
Having promised to make our shopping rounds this morning, we set out early for Wally World. Once outside the house, I was fine. Breathing cleared up in no time.
The amount of goodies I latched on to will attest to how long it has been since I made a trip through their hallowed aisles of merchandise. I got NascarKid a soccer ball to use here when he comes visiting as a birthday present. He already has two at home. Well . . . okay! I had to buy two of them. One was made different for indoor soccer, and that is what he enjoys playing the most. His birthday card turns into some nifty doorknob cards - he is at that age now where he wants his own little space now. Even though his birthday is the first, we will have out party for him next week - next . . .not the one coming up.
I bought two different materials for my upcoming quilting class on Stack and Whack. One is a seashell motif and the other is all kinds of flowers. I have already bought my book so I may decide to try and make the shell one, just to see what it looks like. Before leaving I had to swing by the ladies Fitting Rooms where the telephone board system is located and my ex-daughter-in-law works. I recognized her voice over the public address system and wanted to say hello. Turns out, she has bronchitis and not feeling well at all.
By the time I stopped at the bank, the post office (twice!), and the grocery store, it was barely enough time for me to drop off Ms. Jay, brush and floss my teeth and get to the dentist to get my royal crown in its place of honor. This time it fit. In no time at all I was on my way to drop off the candy for the lucky workers at the nursing center. I took an ice pack from the freezer and placed on top of the bag of goodies so they would not get too warm and melt while I was in Rutherford College. That saved me a trip of back tracking and running by the house. While there at the center, I rolled Mother in her wheelchair up the hall to get her watermelon out of the refrigerator where BJ left it yesterday. He brought her two containers so it would last longer. I kiddingly told her if she wanted it then she would have to go after it with me. In truth, I needed the chair to hold on to make the trek myself.
While sitting by her phone I decided I could call and check on my homeowner's insurance problem as easily there as at home. Oh, how I hope and pray that things will go smoother and easier than when the Suburban was stolen. Please, let us not have another incident even remotely similar to that one. My agent tells me that it has a claim number, but no agent has been assigned to it yet. I get a number for the claims office in Hickory. A call there informs me that my claim has been assigned to the Charlottesville, Va. Office. Huh-ho, a small hard pit is beginning to form in my stomach. How can they possibly assess my home from there?
Dialing the toll-free number for that office puts me in touch with that wonderful world of waiting; listening to music; a message is popped in every little bit. Finally, I get to talk to a person only to find that the agents are all in a meeting, I will receive a call from one of them before the end of the day. I kiss Ma bye and head for home to begin the waiting game again.
It isn't long until I receive a call-back. I have to relay all the information about what, when and where - and who - to the other end of the line. I have to fax to them the receipts I have, the work form from when the work was done on May 31st, and get a replacement quote for the chair that was trashed. Meanwhile, she is assigning me to an agent in Hickory that will make an appointment with me to come out and take an estimate of the rest. I am still on hold through tomorrow. Right now I am breathing easier, this seems to be just a regular claim function - non of that funny stuff that happened before.
Since being back home, I am congested again. I am breathing a little hard and have to keep clearing my throat and chest. It is not as bad as yesterday, but if I could close the door at the foot of the stairs, it would help contain some of the contaminates that are bothering me. Hopefully tonight will be easier than last night.
September 3,1999 - Such a beautiful day today. Perfect weather for a September morn. The dogwood tree outside my window is showing a tinge of red on the clusters of berries, and there is an abundance of berries. There is also a bumper crop of acorns on the various types of spreading oak trees around the house. Usually not all varieties have acorns the same year. Generally this points to a severe winter. Yet, the forecast has been for the draught to continue through the winter. Does that a colder but dry winter for us? The word is out that our Piedmont Area of North Carolina will have the most brilliant of colors this fall when the foliage turns. Seems that the dryer the summer, the brighter the colors. However, the popular trees and some of the others that require a lot of water are already turning brown and dropping their leaves or looking sort of blighty.
My cocoon has beckoned me back into its magnetic clutches today. The dull pain in the middle of my back, the not-so-easy-to-describe-pain that radiates throughout my system when I move even a finger or toe sends a caution to my body computer that today is to be a slow and easy day. I knew yesterday as I relaxed in the dentist's throne awaiting his services that I was over-tired. My right side was beginning to bother me then. I would catch myself lifting up my right arm and rubbing it to easy the pain from the nerve damaged residue left by the stroke. I only hurt like that when I am too tired. It is nature's way of telling me that it is time to slow down and smell the roses along the road of life. After pushing myself for lo' those many years past a safe and comfortable pace, the Lord gave me a built in device to remind me when I am over doing any more.
A phone call just sent me another reminder. Seems that in paying my bills yesterday, I mailed my Retired Teacher's Association dues form back without including the check for payment for this year's enrollment! Yes, I certainly do have to be watched! Today, other than a trip to the bank since I forgot to take a check that needed to be deposited, and stopping at the drugstore to pick up my printout of drugs I have inhaled the past two months to send off for reimbursement by the insurance company - and pick up some pictures I left yesterday to be developed, I shall take it easy.
It is nearly midday and I have not heard from the insurance agent in Hickory yet. If they dilly-dally around too long the mold and mildew in the basement will back in the carpet and on the couch. Who knows, but what it may not already be creeping back.
Y2K. A year of confusion? A time of mistrust? A time of disaster? Who knows for sure? I really like the advice from my credit union (bank):
With a little bit of cash, two plastic jugs of water, a few candles, and a non-electric can opener, you will probably be very adequately prepared for the new millennium. Maybe its time to look forward to the year 2000 with high hopes, rather than gloom and dread. Relax a little and celebrate a bit. You're not going to have this chance again for another 1000 years, y'know!
September 4,1999 - Decisions, decisions, and yet no decisions. There is little I can do at this point with the mold and mildew. I WILL go ahead and have Lady to work on the walls the first of the week. I have to get the stuff out of this house. With the door staying open at the foot of the stairs, I am definitely feeling more of the effects upstairs. If it weren't for my puppies, I think I would pack up and move to a motel until things are better. The floor upstairs has aged a hundred years with its ridges and the linoleum transforming to them.
I can't believe I ate . . . . no, that is not right! I'll begin again - I can't believe I signed up for another website; but yet, I DID! Some web friends were having problems with designing on a site, so I signed up in order to see how to go about designing. Searching deep for what to place here, I came up with Stormy's Musings; a collection of collected poems, midis, and favorite quotes. So far there is only the one page for a start. Well! Come to find out that I went to the wrong place. They were at Web Post. I was a Free Web! So, what do I do? Sure! Oh, I guess I should've said, Exactly! (That word is used more and more; or am I just more aware of it? For some reason it bugs me hearing it so much.) Any way, I traipsed on over and got me a site there as well.
I have been toying with a website for my cousin for his Photography, but until today had not done any real work on it. I don't have access to his site and don't really want to have to make one and have to totally move every thing. So I played around a little to give him a general idea of what could be done on his site. I need some feed back from him on making some changes anyway. Now I am figuring out the workings of two additional sites. I have to bear in mind each time that every website has its own uniqueness. I generally end up looking at my source to see how I did it before. When in doubt, it's time to call, "Cotton, help!!!!!"
September 5,1999 - It's hard to believe that September is here already. There is something about the fall season that always brings a sense of sadness, maybe even a deep inward type of depression, into my very existence. Each year it is a process that I must work through. Perhaps, it is the thoughts of having to put away the outdoors and turn to spending more time indoors. That should not be the case now because I stay indoors so much anyway. Perhaps it is just the process of watching the beautiful trees and flowers slowly lose the brilliant colors and vibrancy of summer and life. At times I wonder if I associate the autumn of each year to the autumn of my own life. There is a time that I too will wither, dangle, and float away lost in the breeze of time gone by.
A call came early this morning from the nursing center. Mother is on one of her "I know better what I can do" attitudes it seems. It was not enough to know that for ten days she was being observed after falling the other night. This time she tried to get out of her chair and use the walker to take the few steps to her bed. The walker was not "clicked" open all the way. In short, she fell! Yes, AGAIN!!! This time she hit her only good eye -if indeed is could be labeled that - and is now sporting a black eye. She also skinned her back in two different places. The nurse and I agreed; it is time for her to lose the walker. She does not motivate well enough to use it with help. I had only left it with her for moral support and she used the basket on it to hold some of her things. Guess the basket can stay; but not the walker.
We are getting some unexpected rain from Dennis along with the wind this time. My neighbor has already called to tell me that it has been so long since we have had rain and that it is real slick outside. That means that brother and I do not need to try to venture out to test our own skills of perseverance! Surely, there is a lesson that we two can learn from our Mother about taking chances. I called Wes to go by and check on Mother. BJ called his girls to see if they could check on her as well. She is not answering her phone when I call this morning.
Sunday Morning, on CBS, brought back some wonderful memories to me this morning. Visits were made to the beach, mountains and lakes for church services. Sunday morning on the lake. Over a thousand people gather each Sunday in their boats around the pastor on his own pontoon boat for the service. On the beach was an organ and musicians, and as they left the service, the boaters would ride by an extended fishing net to leave their offerings. Wintertime, on the top of a high mountain, skis are put aside as the service is held before beginning the descent of frolicking in the snow. The beach? Services are led on Saturday evening by a pastor who is at the shoreline on Sunday morning surfing along with his members. The music is reworded to reflect the religious beliefs, yet be contemporary.
There are those that feel that the only place to worship God is within a designated building on a particular schedule within their life. Some of my most worshipful moments have been not in those buildings, but out in nature. Nature is where Jesus chose to teach. What better cathedral is there then the one which God Himself has surrounded us with? Growing up, the worship services we held outdoors at Camp Sain were true feeling of closeness with God. The water babbling in the background; birds chirping from nearby; sounds of rustling in shrubs and trees from other of God's world, all are proof positive of what a mighty God we have.
Within the manmade structure there is a gathering of family; a group to share and grow with through the years. In nature, there is more of a oneness with God. Our family has experienced these different aspects of worship through our camping experiences. When not at our church building we were in our natural cathedral outdoors. Sometimes it was by the lake when the campers came together, chairs in tow to take part in the worship service. At our mountain campsite, we would go to the amphitheater and sit on the benches taking part in the services. Those services on the ocean's shore is probably one of the most spectacular! Watching as the sun rises over the ocean is almost beyond description, along with the sounds of the waves, and seagulls, or even the soft echoes of someone off in the distance. Today I am in yet that other area of worship. The area of watching from afar. Yet, there is much to learn even as the sermon is delivered this day on the happiness of a Christian.
September 6,1999 A call came yesterday close to supper time; it was the insurance adjuster. Yes, he was working on a Sunday because with all the damages lately and the large area he covers he has a backlog of assessments to make. In fact, it will be Friday morning before he will make it here. In the meantime he suggested it was best for Lady not to do the walls in the basement yet. There is a possibility that the water damage on the lower part of the panels will cause them to be replaced; therefore it would be work done needlessly. He also plans to check the padding under the carpet. My problem is that I have promised to be at the Jailhouse Museum for the first day of the Fall Festival in Morganton and our Quilter's quilt display. I have no one else to call on to take my place as protector of the quilts.
Mother informed me last evening that even without the walker she could still get up and maybe fall, if she was a'mind to. I told her that some people live and learn, but apparently she is one that would rather just live and enjoy the moment with regard to the future. She agreed.
Reading the Sunday paper I read that a dear friend of many years had died in Hickory. She was ninety years old and seemed like a part of our family at times. There was a tinge of sadness when I read her obit and knew that no one at church had bothered to let me know. She was AO's best friend. She once was a neighbor to my Mother's family as they were growing up. I grew up through church with her children. She planned, made all the condiments herself, and decorated for the wedding receptions of three of my children. Having her to cater them was knowing that they would be topnotch and as perfect as any occasion could be. For Tbird, she planned an indoor garden setting with greenery everywhere and lots and lots of candles. Yes, she will always be fondly remembered.
We got more of Dennis than just wind. We got some much needed rain. Our rain was not as dense as closer to the middle of North Carolina and the coast. Our rain was more gentle and soaked into the ground; unlike the areas where there was flooding and quick run-off of water.
Once again I have to note that when there is pain and in this case mixed with prain, I have a way of turning my attention to other things. It is a system that has worked for so many years, it is by rote now. Looking back on the past few days I see no place that it has been mentioned that the psorasis has flared up with those pesky blisters on my shoulder, elbows, back and legs. Yes, it is much worse than I care to mention. I started back on my methatrexate yesterday because it is so bothersome - it is on my face and in my hair - and on my ear. Could it possibly be spurred on by the pressures of the basement problems and Mother Dear and her difficulty with allowing others to help her? Stress seems to definitely have a direct effect.
Old Arthur has decided to make his presence more noticeable as well. There is that knot in the middle of my back that is very sore to the touch. It must be inflamed. My fingers are red and inflamed at the knuckles. My ring finger on my right hand appears to be pampering an arthritic cyst. What a welcome relief when those cysts disappear, even if it does take a shot into them sometimes to encourage their demise. The ol' thumb isn't fairing all that great.... and on it goes... LIFE - such as it chooses to exist...
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© 1999 by Stormy Jeanne
