Nature Songs ~~~~ continued

February 4, 2001 - Time is 3:38 a.m. in the morning. Sounds like some sort of routine is beginning to take shape since I first decided to take command and triumph over the quietude of a sleepless fragment of the night hours. To prop up against the headboard of the bed pillows cushioning the neck for comfort and using the light of the laptop for typing leaves the darkness of the nighttime for creating and recording. It helps to take away some of the thoughts that dwell on a place that may be uncomfortable and brings some calming quality as well. I haven’t turned the buzzer part of the morning alarming setting on the clock on and well only hope that I will get up in time to make it for my Sunday morning ritual with my aunt in Hickory.

Hickory, the birthplace of my very being, is taking on too much of a big city atmosphere in many ways. It doesn’t seem like all that big a spot in the world of today, but more and more crime happenings of the larger cities is taking hold and will not turn loose its grip. Only yesterday, reports were of a double murder, not the first of recent times, in the area I grew up in. The house looked familiar that was shown on the Charlotte television news segment. The particulars of the location given did not match up with the street mentioned nor the house indicated.

Riding up to Collectsville last week, I couldn’t help noticing the countryside and how much it was changing. More and more of the urban sights are popping up in small nooks and crannies of the hills and valleys. Much of the tree population has been thinned out in the name of progress and more so, for money profit. Even the road by my son’s house has been paved as the progress edges in on him. New houses are being built next to him. He moved out to be in the country and enjoy its solitude and environment. In such a short time, that which he moved out to enjoy is already being robbed from him. There are even fire hydrants installed throughout the area. It makes one wonder how long until that place, too, will be part of a city, just as my own home has become.

We had so much fun during our birthday get-together last evening. Everyone took part and enjoyed the company of the others. Allan and his wife came early to fixed the pot of spaghetti sauce and help get ready for the others. Allan got my round table cleaned off for me for the first time since Christmas. (Now, if only it would stay that way instead of piling up with clothes and incidental stuff again. Wish someone would invent a table that would eject things off of it that don’t belong there. Wow! The money he would make for his invention.)

Giggles enjoyed herself during the evening but was showing signs of getting sick as she was running a fever. That didn’t stop her from opening all her birthday packages and playing with BusyKid and Buddy Boy. The three of them make quite a trio as the tromp around after each other mimicking each other’s actions. One of the adults mentioned that the first three grandsons enjoyed and hung around with each other and now the younger three grandchildren are doing the same. The girl is not about to be left out of anything the boys can do. We took a picture of the three of them working together on the ride and push train with a noise maker button being pushed constantly. Two would ride and one would push. They were very good about switching around places taking turns pushing. Time to go home, and none of them wanted to leave.

The bothersome knee let me know that it was around yesterday, but I was determined to be as normal as possible with what I did. Some things I did getting ready for the evening supper were over and above what I usually do. No doubt I am already feeling the effects, but what I accomplished was worth the effort and discomfort.

Today in retrospect, as I muse over this day, was much different from yesterday. The most activity for me was going to church this morning. Using the cane made getting around and mastering the stairs much easier. NascarKid used the cane all during church as an object of many activities. I’d be interested in knowing what all was going through his mind as he kept the cane in perpetual motion - or so it seemed to me - as he sat beside me on the pew. He had to wear my coat vest in the car this morning since he came to the house yesterday without a coat.

He and BingoKid spent the afternoon amusing each other with the Pokemon hand-held game and I got to rest most of the time. It was late before they were all dispersed to their homes and I never made it over to the nursing center to visit today. That gave my knee more rest. Now to see if I can sleep more tonight than I’ve usually been doing.

I can’t believe that for the second Sunday evening straight, the only thing I can find on TV to listen to is snowboarding competition. From my point of view, these are people that have more nerve than sense. It’s unbelievable the stunts that they do or attempt to do. Surprisingly, most of those that fall are able to get back on their feet under their own power.

February 5, 2001 -
This is actually Giggle’s birthday. She so enjoyed all the playing with the boys Saturday evening, showing how much she has grown this past year. Books are one of her greatest interests and she got an assortment of them. One present was a heavy box filled with 26 tiny books. Each book was a different letter of the alphabet and was filled with words and pictures for that letter. What a delightful way to learn new words along with the alphabet. Mom had lost what should have been a Christmas present and only found it recently, so Giggles received it last night, as well.

The Lord has a way of looking after me at times when I have ideas of doing things another way. This morning, it happened at Quest when I was forced to park about halfway down the parking lot instead of close to the door. Since there is a slight incline along the parking lot I had to take my cane in with me to steady my steps. How great it was having the cane to help me as I left after the water workout. It was very draining on the swollen knee, leaving it weak and somewhat wobbly. Of course having to walk “down” an incline is the hardest for me to do as well. The cane was well worth the effort of using it this morning.

All three of the new classes online began today and I got copies of each of them to use this week as I begin my new studies. I can already tell that I’ve allowed myself a lot more work than I anticipated when signing up for them. Each of the three classes will require me to put online some work to be shared with the other participants. The genealogy study gave a list of materials I need to gather up in order to keep things in order as I work on it. The first assignment is to give a family tree of sorts for myself. That I already have, so it will not be too bad. The book I need is on back order, so it is no telling just when it will arrive.

While visiting with Mother, it dawned on me that I was supposed to be at home for the evening to keep Tbird’s children. Mother’s fingernails were painted before I had to leave which was a good thing! That gave her something to enjoy since they were done in a bright red color this time. She is still miffed with me for not seeing to it that she could come to the house Saturday evening.

The boys and Dad were sitting in their truck in the driveway when I got home. They had been here for about ten minutes. Within fifteen minutes the two of them were off to church for a Valentine Dinner and the children settled down for a few hours with me. Correction! Miss Giggles settled in to roaming and climbing. She sat for a very short time looking at books and pictures. Her curiosity won out tonight and climbing was at the top of her list of things to do.

Through all the activities today there was a thread of sadness. When I left this morning Elsie Dawg only raised her head and looked at me from her spot in the leaves under the spruce tree branches. I thought maybe she was being lazy since she often will not get up and run to me in the morning as I am leaving. When I came home at noon she had moved to her house, but again lifted her head and looked at me when I called to her.

I came out to leave to see Mother and noticed that Elsie Dawg had moved again. This time she was in a strange place for her to chose. She was between her house and the shed right beside it. She has never laid there before. I drove my car up to the shed and walked over to see about her. Again she lifted her head once and this time she let out a low sound as if she was talking to me. It took me only a moment to know that she needed more attention than I could give her. I called Allan’s house and left a message on his answering machine. When I got to Mother’s I paged Wes and Allan both. Wes returned my page and said that he would check on Elsie Dawg for me. He contacted Allan and discussed Elsie Dawg.

To make a long story short, Elsie Dawg died about dark. We have no idea what happened to her that she would die so quickly and suddenly. There were no indications of anything to give us a clue. She was fine yesterday and was out running around. Today she apparently went downhill from morning to dusk, but seemed to be in no pain or distress. Even toward the end there was no struggle or evidence of pain. She just peacefully went to sleep. She was turning gray with age, and perhaps it is age that took her, but most of our dogs have lived longer than Elsie Dawg.

She has joined our pets from the past now, but will always be remembered by us all. Each of our dogs have been special to us and have left distinct memories for the future. Elsie Dawg came to us so small she fit inside our hands. We watched her grow to adulthood and adapt to having a whole hip and leg unit larger than the other three. She never let the limp bother her and could run as fast as the next dog. Her favorite pastime was being out in the field chasing the rabbits in and out of the brambles and woods. Whenever possible she would slip through the storm door into the house. I’m sure she dreamed of being able to settle herself inside, but it never happened. She remained an outside dog all her life. After all she was a hunting dog. Elsie Dawg, Abt: 1990 - -2001.

February 6, 2001 - A usual day, and yet not so usual. It seemed strange to look out and see the empty spot where only two days ago everything looked and acted normal. It’s a time I would like to be able to cry and yet there are no tears to be found. There are none. Who’s to say why it happened that I can show no emotions during a time of stress or sadness? It just happened. I have feelings and yet there are no emotions to go with the feelings. There are people around that would consider me unfeeling because of my inability to show any emotions of crying or being upset. It’s something that happened during the period of the stroke. It is something that never could be corrected or worked on. It is missing. What more can be said ... I am on the outside looking in ... far away from that which may cause me harm ...

We did Bingo together at the nursing center today in a different way. The regular director was away and two ladies from housecleaning offered to do Bingo today so the patients would not miss out on playing. They did a good job in their own way, but it was an interesting time for one and all. The one confusing fact for everyone was not the doing of the two ladies. The office personal forgot to leave the quarters to pay the winners and their names had to be written down so they could get their money tomorrow. Some of the players couldn’t understand not getting their money today.

February 7, 2001 - 1:47 a.m., and all’s well with the world - except - sleep is playing hide-and-seek with me once more. Oh well, so much for trying to seek it out of it’s favorite hiding spot. It will have to venture out at its own beckoning and meanwhile other things are waiting for a turn.

A CD of Emile Pandolfi at the piano that I ordered a while back came in the mail yesterday. One of the two I ordered is on back order, so it is appropriate that the one that arrived is A Romantic Evening.with him. I have it playing and am listening to his beautiful renditions of melodies truly relevant to moments of love. Ah, sweet mysteries of love and the harmonious artistic touch of one so talented.

The robins harbingering Spring are back. They flocked across the huge lawn in front of the nursing center last evening as I was leaving after spending about four hours with Mother. There must have been over a hundred or so of them. How does one go about counting so many robins while they are flitting from place to place constantly? It’s always such a wonderful sight to see so many robins returning from their winter in warmer climate.

February seems awfully early for them to be returning, but on the other hand, the groundhog did not see its shadow on the second of February. Truly, that and the sign of the robins mean that Spring is just around the corner. The daffodils and crocus are beginning to peep out of the dark earth as well. Some trees and shrubs are swelling with buds ready to explode into bloom or leaves.

While some things are going on as Nature had intended from year to year there is a difference this Spring. Up through last year our area has experienced a deficiency of nearly two feet of expected precipitation. Even now for the new year we are over an inch in back of the average. Before the season one would expect to have fires burning out of control, they are occurring all around. Numerous days, there are various fires to keep the firemen busy. Some of the fires have burned acres of land and forest or woodlands. Some small rivers are drying up. Some towns are being restricted on their use of water. More and more wells are going dry. Hot weather is yet to come.

Mark my word. Tbird and her family are going to be in the group of those needing water - and very soon. They have a heating and cooling system that uses water. Water that is furnished by their well is the source used and they chose not to recycle the water used for their house. It runs straight through and is used to keep the yard watered with a hose hooked up to the end of the system. Last summer saw them running low on water and cooling. Not enough rain has occurred to build up the groundwater supply. They would do well to invest in an underground cistern holding tank and recycle the water used for cooling and heating. Heating is not much of a problem because they rely on a wood stove and wood from the trees around them for winter heat.

Their pond at the foot of the hill they live on is lower than it has ever been since they have lived there. Only once this winter has the water run across the dam and their road to their house. Used to be that it was seldom the water did not run across the dam. Looking across the pond, a new house has sprung up this winter. A pier has been built jutting out into the pond for the owners. Hopefully they have the pier so it will adjust to the water level. Looks sort of strange to look across from the dam and see a house there on the opposite bank.

The piano music has been followed by symphony music of Blue Skies (smiling at me) and other similar tunes. I’m tempted to skip through the music and go back to the new CD, except I would have to get out of bed to do it. I’ll wait until it comes around again.

There is a class on Metabolism at Quest later this morning that I signed up to attend. Wonder if there will be any information that will help me in any way? The doctor changed my thyroid pill to a lower dosage several months ago. That’s a good sign that maybe my metabolism has decided to jump into action and work some. It would be great if it were working like it used to do so many years back when I was always up, going, doing and accomplishing things.

3:00 a.m. - Sleep is taking a long vacation to places unknown, but I shall at least try some meditating and bio-feedback as the soothing music softly plays in the background. Oh well, guess I’ll go ahead and play a few games of Solitaire and Freecell first.

A special treat for ending such a long day - Elton John and Billy Joel are on the Jay Leno Night Show and I get a sample of what will be coming to Charlotte in April. From little snippets here and there, it appears that the two of them are teamed up and make a great pair working together. Years ago I would never have imagined the two of them coming together in concert. Strangely, Billy Joel pushed Elton John out on stage in a wheelchair because Elton pulled a calf muscle playing tennis yesterday. Royalty working with the impoverished. Adamantine beside plush. American performing beside British. It’s a pleasant surprise to see and hear them together tonight. They performed on television Yellow Brick Road and Piano Man and sounded fantastic together singing and playing their pianos.

Now if only I will be able to sleep tonight. Last night a few short dozes near time to rise was the best that could squeeze into the long nighttime.

February 8, 2001 - Silly me! For several days I listened to the birds squawking around the back door. My thoughts were that the bluejays were coming around fussing about things earlier than usual. Strange how often the scolding sounds would be heard, and I began to think maybe they were building a nest near the door or something. Only thing, it’s way too early for building nests. Late the other evening while in the kitchen I heard it again and wondered what in the world were they fussing about after dark when they should be sleeping.

Again, silly me! A light flashed on in my head. The birds were not outside the door at all. In fact, it was not supposed to even be bluejays! I had changed the screensaver on the computer which is now in the room off the kitchen and near the backdoor. It is a jungle theme with the animals and floras constantly changing and emitting different sounds. Each time the parrot appears, it makes the sound that I’ve been hearing. Maybe it is mimicking the bluejays because it certainly had me fooled.

3:25 a.m. and the time I thought I might get to sleep for awhile was rudely and unexpected altered. Flashing lights bouncing off and on through the house, excitedly barking dogs echoing through the house and there was nothing for me to do but go in search of what was taking place. The fire truck with all its array of lights was pulled in at my shed where Allan stores his landscaping equipment. First thoughts were for me to look for smoke or something. There was none.

Closer examination and I noted two police cars and all the lights on at the house across from me. In only a few seconds an ambulance came in with all its lights working at full speed. No sirens were used, but who needs sirens in the dark of the night with all the assorted lights working? There was a siren, but it was on the boulevard where blue lights were flashing. Someone must have been pulled over for some reason.

The neighbors in front of me have been having problems for a long time now. There was talk of divorce and he had been living in an apartment. This past week he has been back at home. Police have been there for family arguments in years past. It appeared that he was the one brought out on the stretcher and rolled into the back of the ambulance. It sat out in front of my house for a long time before leaving. When it did leave with him inside, one of the police cars followed behind. Then the others left. She stood at the door for a long while.

Why am I so aware of the happenings? Namely, because of two inquisitive dogs with loud insistent barking. Charlie more so than Oreo. Charlie barked long after the vehicles were gone. He really began barking strangely around eleven off and on. That makes me wonder if that may be when the problems began. The telephone number at that house has been unlisted with all that has happened lately, so I could not call. Because of the darkness I dared out go out and try to walk up there to see if I could help in any way. Maybe tomorrow ...

Now, to see if I can rest a little before I have to get ready to head down the road to the other side of Hickory to my pain doctor so very early. Meanwhile, I am once again listening to my new Pandolfi CD. It is such beautiful music... Classical mixed with popular.

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