Nature Songs ~~~~


May continued ~~





May 4, 2001 - Seems that some people take time to stop and read the fliers placed on entrance doors, mirrors and walls - others only glance quickly once and continue onward. Doesn’t take too many choices at guessing to find out that I fall in the latter category. How was I to know that today was the day for a going away party for two of the staff of Quest? I was asked by several of my cohorts if I planned to stay for the party after our workout this morning. One of the girls will be getting married next weekend in her home state up North. After that she will live in a different city here in North Carolina. The other girl will be moving her family the end of the month to a more Southerly State - back to her hometown . A group of us did go to the farewell fanfare to chat, visit and munch on nutritious tidbits as we extended wishes of good luck to each of them.

My new nails are still new looking. They passed the ultimate test this morning in the pool water with flying colors. They have passed the test of gardening, likewise. So far there are no battle scars evident on any of my fingertips. The most tremendous hurdle I’ve had is typing! The tips added to protect my own nail tips are slightly longer than I’m used to and I have to address some of my natural instincts for doing things in order to accommodate the extra length on each of the nails. Many wrong or extra keys have been pressed as I type.

My Friday night date backed out on me this evening. BingoKid came over and planned to spend the night until Dad came to pick up BusyKid after he and Wendy had supper out (and along). Wes had bought some things to plant in the little garden that has been spaded up for BingoKid to keep a small garden of his own this summer. At least we got the rest of the flowers planted here in the front yard before he headed home so he could work in his very own first garden in his backyard. He and Busy Kid made good use of my outdoor spigot and got each other wet before getting back into the house. Summertime and happy kids ... human and goat, no doubt!
Strange how you never notice how you do things until someone else calls your attention to the movement.
Treeheart bought a laptop of her very own. I mentioned about how I sit in bed and type on my journal. She has not found that comfort zone with her laptop just yet and it brought to attention how I do it! Because of my back i am more comfortable propped up on the bed. Propped up with three pillows for starters and I only noticed this morning that I fold over the edge of one of the pillows to fit the nape of my neck - making it easier to look at what i am working on. The laptop is on my lap and my wrists both rest on the edge of the laptop which eases any pain from the carpal tunnel section of both arm. Right now both knees are bent up with my feet flat against the mattress as the knees help tilt the laptop to the proper angle for me to see the screen and work.. At times I stretch out first one leg and then the other to rest my back and easy any pain that may have built up while one knee is always supporting the laptop As I type, I have this way of slipping down on the bed flatter and flatter as the pillows behind my head plunges down lower. I’ve learned the art of pretty much being able to type while almost flat on the bed with my knees bent upward.


May 5, 2001 - Lazing around today and before I know what I may do for the day, it is after lunch already. Allan shows up with Buddy Boy and wonders what I’m doing - do I feel all right? So ..... ? I just didn’t feel like dressing befittingly up to this time ... After all there is no cut and dried arrangement that says I have to do a thing at any given moment when I’m at home. Perhaps that is why I am writing my journal at 1 a.m. on Sunday morning.

What with Homecoming at church today and the new preacher and his wife being at church for the first time, Auntie and I have decided to meet a half hour earlier at McD’s for our breakfast confab. We want to be sure that no one infringes on our squatter’s rights at church and nabs our personal bench spot by our getting to church too late. A lot of people should be there since it is such a special day. I shan’t make it to the picnic after regular church. I would love to be able to go and meet the folks, but my balance isn’t good enough to handle the unevenness of the campground and none of my own family will be there to help me since they are all attending church regularly elsewhere.

Saturday actually has turned out to be a busy time for me inasmuch as I got such a late start. Checking e-mail and some of the websites, I decided to check in on the Virtual University Desk and switch a class for another one. The more I thought about what I was taking, I decided that the Writing From the Heart class would be a lot more interesting and teach me more than repeating the class I had already taken before. I can always repeat the other class anytime, since it is a regular each semester. The Chat Room had a lot of activity going on and I caught up on some of the activities of some of the folks I’ve got to know through the classes I’ve had.

Mother’s nails look a lot better since I got them redone for her today. She didn’t like her supper that came from the dining room so I drove by Wendy’s and got her some chili to eat and she ate the whole thing . (Well, Silly, of course not the cup!) I got her TV working right by punching the menu and other buttons and found that the setting for her channels was on Antenna instead of Cable. Once that was changed and the automatic programming was run, all was well and now Mother can watch her Braves play Baseball. She is a happy camper as long as she can watch her baseball games. I’ve dared her to touch any of the buttons if she happens to hit the “Menu” button accidentally. She has been instructed to turn off the TV and turn it on again to get it off “Menu.”

Driving the truck over to the nursing center was a bit embarrassing since it was so covered with yellow pollen the black color of the truck looked light gray and v-e-r-yyy messy! Where I washed the windshield in order to see the road, long strings of pollen formed along the edges of the washed area. At least the truck had been parked under the new carport and the pollen was not sticky. The Explorer was another story. I left it sitting out one night and it was covered with the gummy mixture that dribbles from the oak trees. Yuck! It had to have something done to it. Neither vehicle was suitable for driving to church.

Voila! I should wash my methods of travel! The spray nozzle is still missing off the hose. I’m tired of buying and putting them on the water hose since they keep pilfering off and disappearing to parts unknown. The truck was easy to rinse off and back into the new carport so it can accumulate more pollen. The car was a different circumstance. The Oak adhesive substance doesn’t come off easily once it settles on the surface of things. Soft long handled brush in hand, I reached for my spray bottle of Greased Lightening. It was gone ... UH! Looks like someone has helped themselves once again - unawares to me. All I could come up with was a little Spray & Wash in a spray bottle at the washing machine, holding my breath with the hopes that it would work, I poured the little GL left in the larger refill bottle into it. It didn’t smoke, smell or explode so all was well. First to rinse off and wet down the car, then a good spraying all the way around - next came the long handled brush to work it’s miracle scrubbing. It was almost dark, and the car stayed wet for me as I worked around it. The brush is the secret to my being able to do the washing since I don’t have to bend or reach out of my work zone and control the pain a little more. Time to rinse off the loosened grim and also time to sit a spell. I had to sit down as I rinsed as much of the car as I could from the one position. Actually, it worked pretty good. Before long, the car is finished and pulled onto the carport on the house. Now, I’m ready for church.


May 6, 2001 - 3:17 a.m. and after more than an hour of desiring to sleep so I can be my best for church this morning, it is apparent that sleep has once again eluded me. It must have gone fishing or taken a trip to the moon. I hear the soft rain falling outdoors and that usually is a calming and relaxing sound. I hear, but I do not relax to the repetitive whispering of drops coming down. Come to think of it, I didn’t rest any during the afternoon - no wonder there is no sleep to be found. Least ways, I won’t have to water my new flowers and bushes that‘s been planted this week.

The new nail tips are still a challenge when typing. For some reason it is easier to run words together and I find myself having to backup to put a space between them. That’s one good thing about typing, the machine proofreads for me and runs a red line under the mistakes as I go along. It has been interesting the past few days as I get used to them. Some things are easy and then again, it is hard to pick up some things from the floor and the new nails make it even harder when paper or a coin are flat against the floor. All-in-all I am enjoying them. They remind me of many years ago when I wore my fingernails long all the time and they were my own.

Insomnia - the ability NOT to sleep. I picked up a leaflet at Q4L with some tips to help bring up or encourage sleep. It may take longer to fall asleep as sleep patterns change with age, but for me, it has been longer than age being the factor causing it. I’ve seldom had a deep sleep and all during the night I am awake more than asleep on any given night. Pain has been the instigator for most of those nights inasmuch as I’ve had to be awake in order to turn over and because of the pain I have to move to different positions. Some nights the pain refuses to cooperate and causes even more turning and twisting. Then, add on the stroke problem that was left to cope with and more of the night is lost.

Analyzing some of the tips offered to encourage more sleep and rest gives me a little more to contemplate. I have much that I could probably do to follow the rules suggested.

I usually go to bed about the same time and all but Saturday get up on a schedule. That would be considered a routine, but being that I don’t sleep, I don’t necessarily follow the rest that was suggested.

Seems to me that if I were to take time to jot down my sleep/awake cycles during the night that it would rob me of more sleep. How does one write down when one goes to sleep? You can’t do that in your sleep and if you watch the clock to see what time it is, how would you be able to sleep? As to what wakes me up - pain, pain, dog barking, pain, odd sound, telephone, pain, pain. That would get monotonous to do night after night.

What would one consider a “calming” activity to do before bedtime? I usually work a puzzle or two or three and listen to music. My favorite music for nighttime is piano, flute and/or classical guitar.

Book reading has been at a minimum for me lately. My suspense type is generally no more than would be found in a John Grisham novel - which reminds me I picked up a new book to read which is written by one of my favorite authors and I can't remember her name. I do remember that all her books are historical novels. It's pretty apparent why I am not reading a great deal with the way I am remembering. R-rated or suspense movies are not my favorites at any time of the day. Diagnosis Murder, Colombo , etc. are as suspenseful as I go.

It has been ages since I’ve had a warm bath or shower at bedtime. The bathtub has been off limits for years and years and years ... Getting up and out is next to impossible and not worth the effort of soaking in the tub.

Keep tabs on food eaten during the day is part of my Better Weight class and it is something I can improve on. Medications are always at the top of my list for taking. As for when to take them, I have to have some in the evening, but most of them are taken in the morning. Any type of alcohol is a no-no for me with all the meds I am taking. There are too many things that could happen if I were to consume any of that stuff.

I not only avoid caffeine after lunch, I avoid it all the time. It makes me so shaky when I have it that I took it out of my diet on my own ever so many years back. Then, the doctor told me after the stroke that I should not have any because of the type stroke I experienced.

Naps during the day may decrease quality of sleep at night, but on the other hand - not being able to rest for me is even worse. However I don’t have to sleep and seldom do. It is the rest that I have to have.

Drinking warm milk is out for me since it causes a rash and itching. Carbohydrates I do take in during the evening as a rule. Cereal or fruit is what I take with my medicines to protect my stomach. In our family, cereal is not a breakfast food, but a snack since we all can eat it without milk and it is more healthy than some other snack foods.

I exercise five days a week for an hour in the water. There are other things I would consider a type of exercise. I.E.: washing the cars Saturday evening should have been an encouragement for needing sleep.

My bed is comfortable. I have to sleep with my head elevated because of GERD, but the pillows are soft and comfortable. The room is neither too hot nor too cold generally. Lights are off, so it is dark. I don’t live on a street with streetlights, but I do have one out front. Only a little of it reflects into my room on the back of the house.

Perhaps I should get up and work on the computer in the other room during the night. I started using the laptop, but sleep does not occur while I’m using it.

I go through the relaxation techniques I learned in the Pain Clinic back in the eighties. Some of the things I have learned to do and they are a part of my subconscious movements. I will realize I am doing some of them. Biofeedback is good for the pain, but it does not bring on the sleep. Perhaps I should go back for another round of practice with the equipment hooked up to me.

Ah! There’s one I have never done! I have not worn earplugs to block out sounds, or used one of those masks that blocks out the light. For some reason that just doesn’t seem safe to do inasmuch as I’m here in this big house alone. If someone else was here, perhaps I could try and see what happens. That would be good on trips when everything around is strange.

How does one go about going to bed only when one is sleepy? What on earth do you do the rest of the time? Maybe go out and walk around some of the stores that stay open all night. It would not be safe on the streets. Staying home would be hard to do and be up as much as I would be up.

Worries? Do you have to be worried to not sleep? I don’t think so. There are more reasons for not sleeping than to worry. Being excited and happy can bring on insomnia. Too tired? Pain? There are plenty of things besides worry that would cause a person to stay awake at night. I have to wonder, too. How does one write down worries at bedtime and then not think about them until morning? One would have to think that the last thoughts you have at bedtime would be the ones that stay with you throughout the night. I would rather jot down some happy things or concentrate on prayer and meditations than to worry.

So much for the leaflet on Insomnia - I’m still wide awake without an inkling of sleep to be felt. Maybe I should start getting up at night and cook some of those meals I should be eating during the day. That would take care of two problems at the same time.

It’s Sunday and the day has not begun officially - I’ve got about three hours before time to get up.










Looking back:

MAY, 1998
MAY, 1999
MAY, 2000


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Lenoir,NC 28645
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©2001 by Stormy Jeanne

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