Creating a new or blended family is a process. There are many stages in the development of a new family relationship.
It's important to be realistic and not expect that a new relationship or marriage will go smoothly and everyone will be happy from the start. Being realistic about the challenges stepfamilies face will help reduce stress and ensure success.
There is a predictable and normal process that families go through as they develop their stepfamily:
Fantasy Stage:
The family joins together with unrealistic expectations of how they will get
along. The family members need to grieve the past loss and explore
expectations of each other.
Confusion Stage:
Two families with different beliefs, values, rules, and discipline share the same
household. The family must begin to develop new rules, roles, and traditions.
Crisis Stage:
When differences remain, family members may panic into a time of chaos.
Adolescents may act out while younger children may do poorly in school or
have physical pains or illnesses.
Stability Stage:
Family members begin practicing what they have learned. The family begins
to create its own traditions and memories.
Commitment Stage:
The stepfamily chooses to work hard to stabilize the relationship. Adults must
forgive their former partners and themselves for the past failed marriage.
Return to 10 Important things a step-parent can do to make life easier for their step-children
OR
Continue to Myths and realities about stepfamilies
