I would like to take a few moments to discuss a long standing military tradition: "Bar Room Brawls" My reasons for this topic are numerous. First, I get to take a shot at Hollywood's portrayal of this haloed tradition. Second, I get the chance to publish my study on why Bar Room Brawls occur. Finally, I may possibly be able to teach some young member of the armed forces how to get out of one unscathed. I can talk to you on this topic because in my early Navy career I was a participant in numerous brawls. Some I came out of hurt. Some I came out of beat to a pulp...but the majority, I came out of totally untouched.
I'll start with Hollywood because from time to time I watch something on TV that's depicting a real life event and it plucks my last nerve to see what Hollywood has done to it. As an example; Have you ever seen a Hollywood fight where some guy is punched, flies 6 to 8 feet, crashes through a plate glass window, hits the deck, hops up and charges back into the fight? Bah, THAT just doesn't happen! Why not, you ask? Well, first, if you ever did take a punch like that you don't hop up. You are out. Second, if by some miracle you weren't kncked out, the last place you will go is back into the brawl. Trust me, once you're out of the bar, you stay out. Hollywood has been romanticising this tradition from the very beginning. But, as you are well aware, they use trickery to reach their desired effect. For instance, they have this funny wood that they use to make the furniture on their sets. My four month old great-grandson could probably break it. However, on the screen, someone takes a barstool and smashes someone else's head and it shatters. Sometimes, the person goes down but others will then turn and look like : OK, NOW you're starting to make me mad. You have to believe me when I say that if I clock you over the head with a solid oak bar stool ( I don't care how big or powerful or mean you are ) YOU ARE GOING DOWN - OUT - END OF FIGHT! And the barstool? Well, it will still be ready to serve the next customer. Enough said about Hollywood. Anyone with a lick of common sense knows exactly what I'm talking about.
Now, as to why bar room brawls occur. It's not that difficult to understand. In fact, it's really quite simple. There are two components that must be present for a bar room brawl to start. First, there must be adversaries. Second, you must have an atmosphere that is condusive to the brawl. The second component is easy to explain as I have developed a simple mathematical equation which explains it in its simplest terms...so, I will walk you through the adversarial component first.
The first thing you must be aware of is that in this time frame( 1937-1938) when you pulled a liberty, you were required to wear the uniform of the day. Very Important to Remember. Webster's dictionary defines adversary very simply as an opponent or an enemy. However, when standing in a bar having a quiet drink, adversaries came in a variety of forms. So, I'll explain just a few different types so you will get the picture. First of all adversaries are always male. Females are not adversaires, they are a part of the equation as contributing factors. Easy so far? OK.
Now, let's say there is a bar with 50 males: 25 sailors and 25 civilians. There's a better than average chance that a brawl will occur. Now, same scenario with 50 males: 25 sailors but now you have 25 marines. Well, suffice to say, there will be a fight. Next step, same number of males except now there's 15 sailors, 10 marines and 25 members of the army. Yup, you have a brawl,but with a twist. As a sailor you have got to be real careful. Why, you say? Well, when the brawl starts, you have 25 sailors and marines working together as a team fighting the army, however, with little or no notice, the jarheads will turn on you. ( For you Marines reading this, I've earned the right to refer to you as jarheads as my number 2 son and his son are both members of your fraternity and I use the term respectfully). Now, same number of males, however, all 50 are sailors from different ships. Yup, you guessed - excellent chance for a brawl. Again, same scenario but all 50 sailors from the same ship. Is there going to be a brawl? More than likely. Sounds ridiculous, I know, but it's the inherent nature of the beast. In this one, you would probably see the boatswain's mates fighting the ships engineers. I could go on but I think you get the general idea.
Now, to cover the second component I will simply put to print my scientific equation and it will be clear. I just wish I could figure out the cure so I could patent it, then I would put all my grandchildren and great grand child through college and still pass on a financially wealthy man. I'm already a wealthy man - - I just don't have the money. Depends on how you define wealth. A matter of sematics, I suppose. Ok, here we go. First you must have a gathering place ( the bar) then you add the motivation ( females) then you add stupidity ( the young males whose testosterone levels are running at full throttle ). You throughly mix these ingredients and slowly add a substantial amount of courage ( alcohol ). This mixture after aging ( 2 hours or so) will explode and you have your classical and traditional BAR ROOM BRAWL.
The equation : gathering place + motivation + stupidity + courage = FIGHT
You can have the gathering place, the stupidity and courage but eliminate the motivation and still have a fight. How? Simple. You're on an island where the closest motivation ( females ) are on a hospital ship a mile or so off shore. You have been at sea for 30 days or so. You have the gathering place, the quanset hut or the beach it doesn't matter. If theres no courage made available, not to worry, we will brew it. So, you have the place, the stupidity and the courage but now the LACK of motivation becomes the contributing factor: therefore you still have the fight. ( I know this --- been there. done that! )
I know I have trivilized a serious situation. So, I'll get serious here for a moment. Bar room brawls are damn dangerous places to be. People have been seriously hurt and maimed as a result. Hell, people have probably died in them. I know I've seen a few who appeared to be dead. And I have to be honest and say Hollywood is not the only group to romanticize them. Every person who has ever been through one is just as guilty as Hollywood. I know for instance that everytime I've told a story about a brawl, the story gets better and better.
Finally, let's discuss briefly how to get out of a brawl unscathed, no bruises, no bumps and no broken limbs. I gave this some serious thinking way back when because after coming out of several bloodied and bruised, it became a problem for me. I've always had a love affair with problem solving. The solution came to me very swiftly and thinking back on it, it wasn't much of a challenge. It's a two step process of equal importance. The first step came to me when I thought about my rate: Fireman First. When you are in a compartment and a fire breaks out, you drop to the deck, below the smoke, and low crawl to the nearest exit or life support system away from the fire. Simple enough. So, when the brawl starts, you immediately turn to the guy standing between you and the door, if he's a buddy, you shove him out of the way if you have time, if not you clock him in the snot locker, clearing a hole for you to drop and as rapidly as possible you low crawl until you're out the door. Step one completed. Step two which is equally important is : "Don't Run." Stand up once you are outside the door, brush yourself off and look through the window like an innocent bystander. Why not run?? Fair question. History teaches us about man's development of radar, who invented it, where it was invented, when and where it was first used. Historically accurate? Yes. But true? Sorry folks, not true. Radar was in use decades before the actual device was made. This was the radar used by the shore patrol (SP) and military police (MP) locating the bar room brawl. They usually arrived just as the fight got rolling. In their eyes, if you ran, you were guilty. But, if you were outside watching, they told you to move along. Why get restricted to ship for the last three days of a liberty port over a fight which you didn't start and usually had no idea why it was started.
Thus, endith the lesson for the young military members.
THE BOXER??
THE ENGINE ROOM
UNCLE SAM
THE HOBO YEARS PART 1
THE HOBO YEARS PART 2
THE BEGINNING
THE EARLY YEARS
HOMEPAGE...so you can sign the "GuestBook"
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