In the last part of the eighties I was feeling my age or so I thought, I was always tired and my energy waned easily. I started suffering noctura, (waking up at night needing to go to the bathroom). So I put down my fatigue as lack of sleep. My occasional paralyses I put down to arthritis. There were other reoccurring symptoms I ignored. But in 1989 I got up to go to the bathroom. As I walked across the floor it was as if I forgot how to walk. I fell heavily and my husband carried me to our bed. I had a high fervor for two days. Then everything was back to normal. Well almost I was having trouble keeping my balance. I was managing to walk on two canes. But it sapped all my strength. I would have forgot it and simply waited for it to go away as all my symptoms eventually did. But my husband was worried and so I went to the doctors. From there I was given a spinal tap. And they called back and insisted I come in for an MRI. I was still on canes and having more and more problems keeping my balance a few days later when they called me back to the doctors. I was not ready for what they said. I am sorry Sissy but you have "Multiple sclerosis" I stared at them! They had to be kidding that sort of thing never happens to real people. And certainly not me. I could explain all the causes of my symptoms. And it didn't add up to MS. I went home in utter denial. I took out the home encyclopedia and looked up the definition of MS. so there I was in today's miracles of medicine I had an incurable decease. There is so much I would like to say but none has any meaning understanding comes hard for those who have this and those who must watch their love ones go down this terrible road. My life is now carefully separated into before and after. Like before MS I used to run a mile each day after MS if I can get out of my wheel chair I feel good about myself. But rather than that I would like to just tell you a few stories some funny some sad but all saying I will not go quietly into this night. I will fight with all my energy that is in me to survive.