Second Psychotic Episode My second psychotic episode involved hearing voices in my head.  Or rather, one voice that I believed was God.  It sounded like God (or how I thought he should sound), and it was kind and gentle and loving.  This voice often told me how to go about my daily business, and gave me advice.  And the advice was always good, even when it seemed stupid at the time.  In the end, whatever the voice told me to do turned out for the best. One day I was looking at a particular web page, and the voice said "This is your husband."  I thought that was ludicrous, and I ignored it.  But as I looked at this guy's page, I realized that we had a lot in common.  He even liked William Blake, who is one of my favorites!  The voice began to make more sense. I e-mailed him.  I learned in his second e-mail that he was married.  (From now on he'll be MG, for Married Guy.)  The voice was wrong.  Oh, well, we could still be friends.  But a few e-mails later, MG admitted that he and his wife were separated.  Divorce looked inevitable.  Maybe the voice was right after all.  I allowed myself to develop deeper feelings for MG, and he for me.  He even came to visit me once, although it was a totally platonic visit.  We didn't even kiss.  He was still married, after all. Unfortunately (for me), his wife had a change of heart and decided to try to be a better wife.  He went back to her.  I was quite angry at the voice.  Why was this happening?  Wasn't he supposed to marry me?  I was devastated.  MG and I parted ways.  After all, how could he make his marriage work with me still in his life?  If I had realized that this voice was a hallucination, I could have saved MG and myself a lot of heartache.  I never would have allowed myself to fall in love with him, and I wouldn't have let him get so close to me. I decided that maybe this voice wasn't God after all.  It was time to admit to my psychiatrist that I was hearing voices.  That's when he determined that I had schizoaffective disorder.  With the proper treatment, the voice went away.  You can read more details in my complete story.