Keep Looking for the Light at the End of the Tunnel
by Mona Bradway

Iam a 55 year old grandmother from Connecticut who has a two acre yard that I used to take care of - mowing, trimming, planting, raking, etc.- until a "speck" of a bug bit me. That was six years ago, when I became the victim of two weeks of antibiotic treatment - a victim of under-treated Lyme disease. After those two weeks, all the flu-like, achy symptoms were gone and I thought I was cured. 

Two years passed and I found myself in a dilemma; racing heartbeat, enlarged  spleen, CNS symptoms (I was walking into walls, my right hand trembled, I would forget where I was on my way home), dangerously elevated liver enzymes, total body aches and pains, and that " I just want to die" all-over feeling. The trek began; from doctor to doctor, from specialist to specialist. I went through eight months of poking, prodding, blood tests, ultra-sounds, stress tests, x-rays and then more poking and prodding, and NO answers!

During this time, I felt so sick that it took all I could do to get from one doctor to the other. Then, psychologically, I began to doubt everyone as well as myself. My poor family and friends - they had to deal with this woman who looked and felt like she was dying, and then listen to doctors repeatedly saying they had no idea what was wrong. Ironically, though, the doctors ALL agreed on one thing - they were all sure I did not have Lyme disease - even though not one of them tested me for it. 

Fortunately, I had this little voice deep inside me that was still functioning, even though my entire body was falling apart around me, that kept saying , "You know you had Lyme disease in 1993. Could this be a reoccurrence?"  That little voice gnawed and gnawed at me, and I mentioned my previous Lyme disease to each and every doctor and specialist I went to. I was always given the same answer, "I don't know what is causing your symptoms but I am sure it is not Lyme disease!." Yes, I heard that from every doctor I went to.  As I reflect now, it is almost incomprehensible how all these doctors who had been practicing in Connecticut  - the capital of Lyme disease - and none of them would even consider it. Or maybe it was just that syndrome that many doctors suffer from; the "Patient Doesn't Know Anything" syndrome. 

It was at this point that I knew I had to use the little strength I had left to listen to that little inner voice and do something for myself. I got in touch with various organizations and foundations and acquired all the information I could get on Lyme disease. I spent days reading and dissecting all the information that I received, and it wasn't until I read a patient history of a man in New York that I realized I could have put my name in the place of his. I was sure I had Lyme disease.

Here I was, with a heartbeat of 110 bpm when I was calmly sitting reading a book, Sqot and Sgpt liver enzymes at dangerously high levels and continuing to rise, swollen glands, skin rashes, menstrual irregularities, limbs going numb, inability to sleep, restlessness, total body aches, an enlarged spleen - and no diagnosis. Now I was armed with all this new information, and no one would listen to me. The final straw came when one specialist recommended a liver biopsy. At this point, I was so frightened that I had liver cancer or possibly a liver tumor, I was ready to agree to anything to get a diagnosis and treatment. I thought I was dying!!! 

When he scheduled me for pre-surgery blood work, I asked him if he would also run a Lyme disease test at the same time.  His response was, " If it will get you off my back about this Lyme disease thing (as he called it), I will." I  took a deep breath, bit my tongue and replied, "Thank you," and left his office. If this was the only way I would find out for sure if I had Lyme disease, I would be respectful to a man whom I no longer have any respect for, and leave the office peacefully. Four days later the nurse called to tell me that all my blood work was fine, and proceeded to give me pre-surgery instructions. I interrupted her long enough to inquire about the Lyme test. Her answer to me was, "Oh, yes, the Lyme disease was positive, but that has nothing to do with the biopsy." I was livid. At that point, I canceled the biopsy for the next day - not without much trepidation - and got an appointment with a wonderful Lyme-literate doctor who has treated me ever since. She also has/had Lyme disease and is "one of us". 

The road has not been an easy one, but after trying several different antibiotics and antibiotic combinations, I am proud and elated to tell you that things can change and get better. I would always get better when I started on a medication, but would also always relapse in a matter of months. Well, I think we finally found the silver bullet for me. The last regime I was on was a combination of Biaxin and Plaquenil. After approximately 3 months on this regime, I was totally symptom free. I continued on it for nine months, and am very happy to say that I have been off the medication totally now for almost a year. I had thought in the past that I felt normal again, but now know that I had not. We start accepting how we feel, because it is like there is nothing we can do - nothing is working I now know what it's like to feel "myself" for the first time in six years. Evidently, I look better also, because people are constantly telling me how good I look now and congratulating me on my recovery, albeit if temporary. I will take this time and savor it.

I want to add that I also took some responsibility upon myself to reach this point. I followed Dr. Burrascano's regime of vitamins and supplements, I had acupuncture treatments to maximize my immune system, I ate a good diet, stayed away from sugar and alcohol, had deep muscle massages and exercised whenever my body could handle it.  

I just want everyone to know that it can  get better. Who knows, I might relapse again in the future, but I will never stop fighting this horrible disease - and I will do whatever I can to help myself in order that the medicine that is now available can do its job. I pray that every other Lyme sufferer experiences the " rebirth" that I have, even if for a short time - until a cure is found.

For more information on Lyme disease see: Lots Of Links On Lyme Disease

Last updated on 29 December 2000 by
Art Doherty
Lompoc, California
doherty@utech.net

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