February 2000

Feb. 7 - (2:30pm) Today has been a good day so far. I worked out this morning although I really wanted to stay in bed an extra hour. I did 20min. on the treadmill, then 5 minutes on the ski machine. I did a lot of stretching this morning as well since my muscles were sore from yesterday's workout. I feel really good today. My eating is under control as well. I've drunk most of my water for day already and it's not even 5:00pm yet.   I start my class tonight (I'm going for my certificate in Conference/Meeting Planning).  I'm really psyched that my life is coming along the way I want it to.

(10:30pm) My class was good. It seems a bit overwhelming but it's only the first day. It feels so weird being back in school. I did very well today in terms of my diet. After class, I ate a breadstick (Wendy's) and munched on a salad I had prepared. On the way home I picked up a Wonton Soup from the neighborhood Chinese Take-Out.  I only ate 1/4 of the soup. I guess I wasn't that hungry after all. Next week though I will bring a sandwich to eat during class.  I am drinking my bedtime cup of tea (it helps to relax me).  Well, tomorrow is another day, and I'm ready!

Feb. 12 (Sat.) - This has been a very a very difficult week. I feel so terrible because Valentine's Day is approaching and I'm on the way out of a relationship.  I just cannot wait for that day to be over.  As far as my eating and exercise goes, I've been eating a lot less, but I need to be more conscious of what I eat. As far as the gym goes, I didn't go except Sunday and Monday. I've just been sooooo exhausted. Working 2 jobs and going to school is overwhelming. I just put in a request at my 2nd job for a month off. I really need time off to get into the rythm of things (working out, eating right and going to school).   I really feel lousy today - I'm in a lonely mood. I really don't feel like being bothered with ppl.  I hope I will be alright soon - I HATE days like this.  Anyways, I'm going to put forth my best effort to loose 20lbs. by June 1st. I think I can do it - that's 3 1/2 months.  I will try my darnest.  Well, hang in there everyone, I know this can be done for all of us.

Feb. 19 (Sat.) - I've been horrible this week. I really have noticed how I relate to food. I've been very out of it this week and I've used food to fill this emptyness I've been feeling. The thing about it is the more I eat, the more I want.  I guess it's because I'm not eating because I'm hungry, I'm eating because I feel empty.  I don't know if I'm  depressed, I just feel aimless. I don't want to do anything nor do I want to be around others. I don't know if that's depression but I'm not crying.  Who knows. I'm also PMSing so that could explain my constant moodiness.  Anyways, I plan on trying harder this week. I need to start now because Summer will be here soon and I don't want to spend another Summer being uncomfortable in my own skin.  I need all the encouragement in the world right now.

Feb. 27 (Sun) - I've been really reflecting this week.  I am really working on the inside - finding that self love and satisfaction.  I am reading In The Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant. I love this book because it really is a SELF-help book. Basically she says that everything starts with you.  You have to love yourself and treat others with that same type of love.  I've noticed when I deal with people with kindness and respect, it makes me feel better.  I have a habit of allowing people and situations to get to me, I don't want allow anyone or anything to rob me of my peace any longer.  I am preparing myself for this weight loss journey.  I know it will be hard but I also know that it can be done.  I see soo many of these success stories and I know that can be me.  What am I waiting for?  God only knows.  I do know that this extra weight has been with me too long.  It's time to let go of all this baggage. That's exactly what it is, baggage.  I went thru all of my summer clothes from 2 summers ago and I was THIN (although I still felt fat).  I was about 145 lbs then and everyone said how good I looked but I still felt big.  My goal is to be able to fit back into those clothes and feel proud and beautifuly that I had accomplished this goal.  I would have to loose about 25lbs by then.  I can do it.   Thank you guys for the wonderful e-mails you've sent. It really helps out. I wish you all good luck this week.  Remember take it one step at a time and before you know it, it will be natural to you!  Cheers and Keep on Moving! 

This week's goal: -Drink my water (64oz) each day. 
                            -Meditate every morning (at least 5 minutes).