Journal Entries
by Des'ree
Happy New Year!!! I hope you all had a safe and Happy New Year. I enjoyed myself New Years Eve-it was quietly spent at home with friends. The love of my life was in town from California (he moved out there in June 2000 to see what the Westcoast was all about). My friend stopped by for a while on New Years Eve and it was nice, as always. Let me backtrack a bit. There's this guy who I've been friends with for 5 years now and we love eachother as friends first but I don't know if there's something else there or not. I know that the idea of being with him romantically makes me smile and blush but it also makes me so uncomfortable because we've been friends for so long but nothing has ever happened. He treats me like a princess when we're together and we have 3hour conversations on the phone. Anyways, I truly love him but do not want to risk the friendship. I believe he feels the same way and would never try to "get with me" because he knows that NOW is not the right time. He asks me about the guys I'm dating and I ask him about the girls he sees. I sense some jealousy in his voice when we talk about the men I'm dating. He always says-get rid of them. I try to be supportive of him and his relationships because if he does want to be with me, then I want him to truly want it (I hope that makes sense). Well, I'm going out to California at the end of May to visit him (he invited me) and I think something will be discovered then - who knows. If you have any wise advise, I'd really appreciate it!!! E-mail Me!!
Other than that situation, I am working towards reaching my goals. Careerwise, weightloss-wise, I'm dedicating myself to myself. I really do not want to be distracted so men are out of the picture for me right now. I really want to be 150lbs or less by the time I go to Cali in May and I know that if I do what I have to do (eat right and exercise) that the weight will come off. I don't want to go to a beach with my friend and look like a beached whale. I want to be confident and fit. I know this is possible. I've already lost 3.5lbs this week and I know I can reach my goal of 170 by month end. When I do reach 170, I'll have just 20lbs to loose in 4 months. That's dooable.
I would really like to hear from you guys so please e-mail me to let me know who you are and what your goals are. We can and will do this...together!!! Let's make this year the year we become who we really want to be!!! Peace and Love! pf