The Other Side

Carelessly, I poured myself into this body mold
I was told it must be what I wanted
I was told it was because I lacked self control
I was told I was gluttonous and hedonistic

I gaped in a store window one day at the reflection
Seeing this peculiar form, as if for the first time
This was not the image that belonged to me
It bore no correlation to the person inside me

I looked everywhere to find resolution
I joined clubs and groups and clinics and organizations
I exercised, jazzercised, aerobisized and yogasized
I took pills, drank liquid protein, lived on powders and shots

In changing, I went up and down and up again,
Breaking each new mold and making it bigger each time
I cried, and hid and died a little at each larger clothing size
Until I no longer fit into the “real” world 

I was stared at with pity, piety, abhorrence, and aversion
I avoided eye contact, body contact and emotional connection
I was alone inside this cocoon I had built
I didn’t know if I built it to keep out the world or to finally be seen

Then one day as if on cue, the words came out of my mouth 
I asked my doctor and he smiled and said yes it was time
I went to the magic web called ‘the net’ and found what was right
I found information, salutation, Olwen and each one of you

I found hope, healing, help, freedom, friends and support
I found a place to talk about my pain and admit my defeat 
I was able to say that awful word “obesity” for the first time
As a wise man once said, admitting the problem is the first step

Now here I stand at the “Threshold of a Dream” to borrow a line
I can finally break out of the mold and leave it behind me
I will walk the way of anesthesia and the surgical solution
I will wake changed and ready with a new tool chest

I am serenely joyful at finding the courage to go forward
I am proud to be following in your pioneering footsteps
I will happily enter a new life with healthy benefits
And leap with eyes closed and heart pounding to the “OTHER SIDE”