July 1st
Dear Reader,
I'll have to admit that today I've got a problem.
I'm not mentally sharp. I feel lethargic and my
left arm where the machine sends the curing fluid, is
not feeling good. I have been feeling so positive.
Have I been confusing that with "running scared" and
actually thriving off the adrelaline? This day, the
adrenaline seems to have dried up. Of course, I still
have the conviction that everything is going to be
fine but, in truth, I've got the blahs. I write some
in this journal and that helps me to pick it up a
notch.
Poor Sandy. Our dog's throat is visibly swollen.
It's striking how much more swollen her neck, and
now her jaw have become. The tumor on her Thyroid is
growing exponentially. Suddenly, the hand-writing is
on the wall. Jane calls the veterinarian and makes
an after-hours appointment. Barring a miracle, this
will be Sandy's last day on earth. We've had lots of
animals die here on the farm, goats, chickens, ducks,
geese, a pony but Sandy has been our favorite dog,
especially a favorite of one member of our
family.
That someone is, of course, our seven (going on
seventeen) year-old Bryn.
This will be a memorable day for her. About
mid-morning I see a very touching sight outside. In
a chair by our garden fountain, water trickling
merrily down the sandstone rocks, I see Bryn seated
on the lap of her mother. Both wear large sun
bonnets, the brims so close together that they
overlap, heads together. Though Bryn's back is
facing me, I can see from the pulsing of her back,
that she is sobbing. Her mom is telling her that
Sandy will have to be put to sleep.
For the first time through this whole, dare I call
it, ordeal, I descend into my emotional self and
tears begin to come to my eyes. Is it due to my
illness, my lethargy, my swollen left arm or the
poignancy of the moment? After a while they turn off
the fountain and come in, having seemed to resolve
the issue. Doing some quick thinking I propose that
after my visit to Dr. Thai's we go see the new Disney
movie - Hercules. That draws some interest. I have
to go back to the doctor's office everyday to receive
a new little bag of chemical and battery to keep my
"Little Buddy" powered properly. So after the
appointment, we'll see the movie. In the evening
Jane will return to town with Sandy for the vets.
At the office I get the
new "juice" and battery and it's off to Mt. Olympus.
Typically upbeat, with excellent musical scoring,
the movie is good, especially for Bryn. It's the
rest of the day that is going to be hard.
The vets' call comes at about 7:30, yes, we can bring
Sandy in now. It's a tearful good-bye to a faithful
friend. Bryn seems to understand that it's best for
Sandy, but that dosn't seem to soothe the ache in her
heart.
July 2nd
